Ballad of an over thinker

There is love

I don't understand this restless cycle I'm in
I've cried
And I've tried
And I've convinced myself I've broken it
You get attached
You fall in love
You fall apart
And you break it
I distance
I yell
And I scream
In silence
And yet it always fails
And I am convinced that I'm the one to blame
Because I can't put out my flame
Always feeling like there's something wrong
Always relating to every sad angry song
And I tear myself apart
Along with everyone in my way
And then I forgive
And then I'll forget
And then I move on
Just like that I'm back in love
Maybe not love
But attachment that feels safe
And I'm left wondering how much time this is going to take
Until I fall apart again
Or try to handle more thinking I'll win
I'll convince myself this is wrong
That you lie to my face
Tell me you love me while I believe that it's fake
Cold and distant yet again
Not a shred of hope can penetrate my skin
I've lost all humanity
And being alive at this point
It's all that I can take
Until I can learn that being alive
Is more than a battle for sanity
It's a war for my humanity
It's about love
And believing that it is in fact written in my fate
Believing I deserve more than I think
Because thinking you're worthless is a dark hollow where I sink
It's about not only the love you can give
But the love that you can take
Believing love is something
Much more than he portrayed
I hope to believe one day
And that thought I will continue to pray
"God let me see what you have in store"
"God let me know that there is more"
I know it's been dark
And I know it's been cruel
But you've got to believe me
That love is out there for you too