"Hey. I haven't give up on you. I hope you can think over and tell me your final answer <3" I read out the sticky note that was sticked on the pink milk I received.
I sighed, taking the sticky note in my hand. Few days has passed and Hyunjin has been giving me my favourite drink every single morning with a side note.
Why is he doing this to me? I'm afraid that my heart would lead me back to him, leaving Felix alone.
"Another drink?" Felix asked as he came inside the stylist room. I quickly hide the sticky note, giving him a small nod.
"Yeah" I replied shortly. He knew that someone has been sending me drinks but he didn't know about the note or who has been giving me them.
"Are you sure you don't know who it's from?" he asked, taking the seat next to mine.
"No, I don't" I lied to him, feeling bad as soon as the words left my lips.
After awhile, I excused myself to the washroom since the room made me feel suffocate the longer I sat in there.
I splashed my face with water, hoping that I could wash away all the worries, confusion and hesitance. I sighed, looking at the reflection of myself in the mirror.
I love Hyunjin, but Felix has showed me his love first. Hyunjin has broke me deeply, indicating that Felix is better. I need to be fair, right?
I sighed, shrugging it off as I walk out of the washroom. I was immediately greeted by guilty eyes of his.
"Can we talk?" Hyunjin asked as he quickly walk towards me.
"Mr. Kim is waiting for me" I reasoned, trying to walk past him but he quickly grab my wrist, stopping me.
"Just a minute, please" he pleaded. I stayed, waiting for him to continue. He let go of my wrist slowly, looking at me with a small smile as if he's thankful that I want to have a talk with him.
"Have you gave a thought about what I asked you?" he asked with sincere eyes. I watched how his eyes sparkles, waiting for my answer hopefully.
"I told you that I won't betray Felix. My answer is just the same" I told him, feeling so heavy to spit that words to him. Hyunjin sighed quietly.
"But you don't love him, Y/N. What's the point of staying with someone who you don't love?" he asked, searching for my eyes.
That's when it hit me. He's actually right. What's the point of being with Felix when I can't return the love he gave me?
"Please, Y/N. I realised all my mistakes and I am truly sorry for everything I did. If you accept me, I will try my best to repay all my mistakes" he said desperately. I can feel tears slowly pooling in my eyes but I held it in.
"I'll give you time to think. I'll wait for you until the last day of shooting. That day, if you tell me that you want to be with Felix, I will let you go and I won't disturb you anymore" he said. His voice was low as hint of sadness could be heard from his voice.
"I hope you choose me, Y/N" he mumbled quietly but loud enough for me to hear.
We locked our eyes for a solid second before he turn to walk away from me. I watched him walk away in sorrow, feeling a drop of tear fell down my cheeks. I took a deep breath in, having a hard time gulping the lump down my throat.
•••
I slumped on my bed with a sorrowful feeling. I felt so empty, so numb. I glanced over my bedside table, picking up a framed photo of Hyunjin and I.
I let my thumb trace his perfect features slowly, caressing it with a bitter smile on my lips. The memories we spent together for the short few days came back to me as I inhale sharply.
I love you, Hyunjin but you've hurt me. You promised that you would take care of me and pay all the mistakes you made. However, not everyone can fulfill their promise and I'm afraid to put my trust on you.
A drop of tear fell on the top of the glassed frame. I placed the frame beside me as I reached for the drawer of the bedside table, getting out a normal sized box.
I opened the familiar box, revealling old stuffs and memories that Felix and I have been through. I picked up the polaroid on the top of everything.
The moment my eyes landed on the picture, my tears fell down so much more. His genuine smile pained me a lot.
You healed me, Felix but I'm afraid that I can't give you as much love as you gave me. I finally realised that I can only love you as a friend.
I turn to reach for the framed photo that I placed beside me. I placed both of the frame and polaroid next to each other. I examine both of their faces.
"How can I choose in between them when I love both of them equally?" I mumbled, letting my tears fall down. I gripped both of the photo tightly, showing how much in pain I am.
I closed my eyes tight, tired of crying, yet the tears never stopped.
How can I actually choose in between them?
"And, cut!" Mr. Kim announced happily.
"Well done!" he added quickly, clapping his hands.
I immediately stopped crying, suddenly feeling numb. I wipe my cheeks with my sleeves as I face Mr. Kim.
"That was amazing, Y/N. I love the way you express the sorrow of your character" he smiled happily, clearly having no clue that I was actually expressing my actualy feelings.
I give him a small smile, thanking him.
Once I'm done with the filming, I walk out of the set with heavy heart. I couldn't stop thinking about who to choose ever since Hyunjin confronted me two days ago.
Last day of filming is in three days. I groaned in frustration, feeling tears pooling in my eyes.
Without realising, my feet has lead me away from the school building. I don't know where I'm going, yet I don't stop.
However, after awhile walking into the woods, I was welcomed by a little pond with a mini waterfall. I look at the place in awe.
It looked so magical. A little pond inside the woods. I smiled to myself, stepping on the edge of the rock that divided the water and earth. I open my arms wide, closing my eyes as I feel soft wind slapping me.
However, they joy didn't last long as the sorrowful feeling came back to me. I crouched down on the rock before slowly sitting on it, letting my feet hang down in the water.
The longer I sat there, I can feel my tears slowly build up as the heaviness in my chest got greater.
It started with a small sob before it got worse and I'm basically screaming all my tears out.
"Fuck you, for making me feel this way, Hwang Hyunjin!" I screamed out loud, not knowing someone is watching me.
"Fuck you, for coming to me when I'm startimg to move on from you!" I screamed.
"Fuck you, for making me second guess my desicion!" I continued screaming.
"Fuck you for making me fall for you again!" I didn't have the energy to scream anymore so the words came out low. I cried it all out, sobbing hard, hoping that it would ease the pain on my chest.
"You should have said that right on his face" a male voice interupted me from my dramatic sobbing. I slowly turn around to see an unfamiliar face.
{End of Chapter 20}
Sorry for publishing later than usual. I'm not really in my best shape right now so I hope you can understand and excuse me for today. Anyway thanks for reading and have a nice day. Stay healthy!