December 21, 2021
-X-
I never knew that the time would come for the most heartbreaking scene in my life,
You and me, across each other, saying our goodbyes.
I knew it was over when you kept on hurting me after saying that you love me,
And whilst I continued crying, I realized it was time to set myself free.
I gave to you my best while you never did the same,
I was there for you when nobody else came.
I loved you to the moon and back,
But I could see that the universe that we built has began to crack.
I blamed myself for our ending,
Every night I cry myself to sleep because of this longing.
There was one question that stuck whenever tears would blurry my sight,
How could you ruin a person that did everything just to love you right?
I don't understand why,
How could you be okay after saying goodbye?
You were so cruel to my fragile heart that you never noticed it was breaking,
I regretted loving the wrong person so much that it crumbled my own being.
I allowed you to spark my flames for you let it spread,
Yet at the end you blamed me for being burned by it and you said,
"I don't want to be with you anymore."
How could you say that when I allowed you to wander around the depths of my core?
You cried while you promised me forever in the church,
Now you look into my eyes and there was nothing but emptiness in every corner that I search.
All I wanted was for your best,
But it seems that what's best for you was for our relationship to rest.
Every now and then I think about what we could have been,
But now I know that I deserved so much better than what I've seen.
You broke my fucking heart and every time I loved you a little less,
You only loved me when it was convenient but never when things were a mess.
I would cross an entire ocean for you yet you wouldn't cross a puddle for me,
I gave my everything already and I think that is enough to leave this debris.
Thank you for the memories and for teaching me that love should never hurt me in the most painful way,
Now I'll move forward to a new beginning rather than to hold on to what was once ours because you never gave me a reason to stay.
-X-
One of the most raw poems I've ever written. All I had was my broken heart and a pen in my hand. I think it's safe for me to post this now after many months of healing and self-love.