Yours Truly

lxxiii. my savior

A spoken word poetry

-X-

Someone asked me,
"Hey, what was the best thing that occured in your life?"
"I wonder if your life is wonderful."
"Hey, could you tell me what is up with your life right now?"

I replied,
"Oh, I was fine."
"My life is wonderful, indeed."
"Nothing much."
"Same old, same old."

But at the same time I wanted to practically scream my heart out that I wasn't okay!
That everything wasn't right!
That my life is full of fucking problems right now!

When I was five,
I would dream of growing up fast,
Afraid of being stuck in the past.

When I was seven,
I learned that happy endings don't exist,
And that this world is void of bliss,

When I was ten,
I would write what I wanted to be in my future,
But I guess at that time I wasn't so sure.

When I was fifteen,
I met this boy that I liked,
He told me he loved me and I thought everything was right.

When I was seventeen,
My heart has been shattered by the same boy,
The same boy that said he loved me but he treated me like a toy.

When I was twenty,
I learned that life is not about rainbows and butterflies,
It could also make you believe in lies.

When I was twenty five,
I couldn't take it anymore,
I decided to cut my wrist,
And enjoyed the blood oozing out of it,
And I realized it actually didn't hurt.

The truth is life isn't always perfect.
Sure, it can make you feel good but at the same time it could only cause you pain.
Life is beautiful,
But at the same time,
It's shit.

But do you ever wonder what is the purpose of your life?
Why are you even here in this planet called Earth?
Why are you even born?

But didn't you ever realized that God is with you?
That he cares for you?
That he is your friend?
That he loves you?

Probably no,
Because you were so busy hating your life
Not noticing that this was a gift to you from the Lord.
He put you in that situation because he knows you're strong enough to handle it.

Sometimes, you just have to trust and have faith in him.

So if you ask me who is my savior,
I would put a finger high in the air and shout,
He is my savior!

-X-