aster's pov
the day i took the fentanyl from mouse, it made me realize my desire for drugs was close to non existent. that shit fucked me up for the longest time. i know it fucked you up to. i feel like after that night, you weren't the same. that's the last thing i wanted. i didn't want you to feel responsible or guilty for me doing that. i did it on my own to protect rue. i did it in hopes that he'd be pleased and would leave. i'm not saying that i'm happy i got high off that shit, because i wasn't. but im relieved that it was rue put into this situation. i think we can both agree that maybe it helped rue change for the better.
anyways. i just wanted to make it clear that none of that shit is your fault. don't ever feel as if you're a bad person for what happened. you're an angel.
~
next day
I felt the arms of an angel wrapped around my body. They were warm and made me feel secure. I immediately knew who it was. We were under the covers of Fezco's bed. I grew attached to his bed since i started staying here because of how soft the blankets were and how nice the mattress was. Don't even get me started on the galaxy pillows.
"Morning." i had spoken up and he immediately sat up. Now he was wide awake.
"How are you feeling?" he examined my face as i turned to lay on my other side.
"I'm okay." i reassured him as he cupped my face with his hands.
"I was so worried." he admitted and i could see his eyes began to water. I've never seen him like this. he genuinely thinks this is his fault. "I'm so sorry."
"You don't have to be." i reassured him again with a small smile. "I'm okay now." i wrapped my arms around him and hugged him tight.
"I promise you, i'll kill him before he ever tries some shit like that ever again." he let out a deep sigh as he held me tighter.
i remained silent and just sat there in his arms.
"Thank you for keeping me safe." i said softly.
"Always." he replied while rubbing my back.
—
The next day
"Where have you been?" Maddy's face appeared in front of me once i shut my locker.
"Oh i'm sorry... i've been busy." i held my binder in my arms as we started walking.
"You haven't texted or called me back for a few days now. I thought you died." she punched my arm.
"Maddy!" i winced in pain as i held my left arm.
"Sorry. I was just making sure i'm not trippin and talking to a ghost."
"Sorry i've been MIA. A lot of shit has been happening and my phone was the least of my worries."
"Okay well you have to tell me everything."
"How about we catch up after school?" i questioned her as she nods her head. "Good idea. I have so much to tell you too." she smiled.
"Yes. How about we go to your house and talk?" she suggested.
I stopped in my tracks and looked her in the eyes. "Uh yeah about that.... i don't live with my parents at the moment." i admitted and she immediately flipped.
"Where are you staying? Bitch don't tell me you're homeless." she grabbed a hold of me and shook my whole body.
"No. I'm way too high maintenance to be homeless." i shook my head. We continued walking. "I'm uh... i'm actually staying with Fezco,"
"Fezco? like the drug dealer who owns that corner store?" she raised her brow at me. "Since when was that even a thing?"
"I don't know like.... a few weeks?" i smiled to myself thinking about it.
"Wait like this is a serious thing?" she questioned again.
"Well we're not official but... i'm not talking to anyone else." i admitted and she started screaming so loud people were staring.
"No fucking way." she seemed so surprised which caught me by surprise. Usually she'll make fun of and judge every guy i talk to.
"Aster Adams and the drug dealer." she nodded in acceptance.
"I really like him." i could feel my cheeks burning up. "He is literally the best guy I've ever talked to."
"So he's the reason i haven't seen you much." she playfully elbowed me. "You're too busy getting fucked by that ginger,"
"Stop." i playfully shoved her into a locker. We both started laughing and i was very red. This was the first time i was admitting to someone else that i liked Fezco other than Fez himself. It felt good to say.
"Awwww Aster is in love." she wrapped her arms around me and hugged me.
I might be.
—
"Aster!" i heard my name being called from behind me.
I turned my body to see Rue at the other end of the hall. "Hey Rue." i reached with a smile as she walked over to me.
"Hey." she got closer and immediately pulled me into a hug. "I'm so sorry about the other night." she whispered.
"Don't worry about it." i reassured her.
"I have good news." she pulled away from the hug and looked at me. "After what happened that night with Mouse... i decided to stay clean. Like actually clean, not faking it this time. It's been almost a week, i know that ain't much b-." she admitted with a small smile.
"Rue!" i squealed. "I'm happy for you." i pulled her into a tight hug. I swear i could cry right now. Knowing that what happened that night with Mouse really made her realize the severity of her drug problem. I'm so grateful that me taking fentanyl wasn't all for nothing. It helped Rue.
"Yeah. Jules has been helping me a lot to stay clean as well."
"That's good. It's good you have her support through all of this." i nodded my head. I'm glad she has someone like Jules. I approve of her. I'm just glad she's not a addict cause god that would be so bad.
"Yeah..." she smiled down at her sneakers.
"So you and Jules? Do you like her? You guys are like together all the time." i teased.
"Together all the time, like you and Fez?" she smirked.
"Yes. Like me and Fez." i laughed.
"Yeah." she admitted. This time she was getting all shy and red just thinking about it. She liked Jules. It was very obvious.
"Aww Rue." i smiled as i put my arm around her as we continued walking down the hall.
Perfect timing because there was Jules.
"Hey guys." she beamed with excitement and joined us on our walk.
"Aster are you going to the carnival this Saturday?" Jules questioned me.
"Yeah. Fezco and Ashtray are planning on setting up a pretzel stand to deal on the low. So i'm going for moral support." i laughed.
"Well if you get bored feel free to ditch them and hang with us." Jules offered.
—
After school we decided to go to the mall with Kat. She said she wanted to spend some money on clothes and knowing Maddy and i, we were down for anything that had to do with clothes and shopping.
"Do you think people are like, 100 percent straight? and like 100 percent gay?" Maddy questioned out of the blue as we headed towards the second floor.
"No, cause obviously there's like bi people, asexual, pan. Sexuality is like a spectrum, you know?" Kat answered.
"Yeah. Totally." Maddy answered.
"Do you think straight guys ever, like, watch gay porn?" Maddy questioned again.
"Not if they're 100 percent straight." Kat responded.
"You just said it's a spectrum." Maddy argued.
I continued walking with them, completely confused as to where Maddy was going with this.
"Yeah, on either side of the spectrum is gay and straight."
"Well who knows.... i heard that a lot of girls prefer to watch lesbian porn. They get off on that instead of a guy railing a girl aggressively because that's not what most girls enjoy." i shrugged my shoulders. "Why are you asking though?" i raised a brow at her as she began walking in a circle.
"Is this about Nate?" Kat asked and my eyes immediately went wide.
"No! He's like super straight." maddy responded.
"Is it about your dad?" Kat questioned again.
"No! It's not about any guy that i know." we continued walking.
"Okay i really wanna know why you're asking about this," i glanced over at Maddy as she contemplated saying what's in her mind,
She grabbed us both by the arms and yanked us closer. "You swear on your fucking life you won't say a word?" She has this serious look in her eye.
"Yeah." Kat and I said in unison.
Then she whispered in our ears that she saw random dudes dick pics in Nate's phone.
"What?!" i shouted. I was flabbergasted. Nate? Gay? I wasn't expecting this at all.
—
"What's on your mind?" Maddy elbowed me as we walked around this store while Kat went to try things on.
"I've been thinking about getting a job." i let out a deep sigh.
"Oh my god. Why?" she genuinely looked concerned.
"It's a really long fucking story."
"Okay so tell me." she dragged me outside to the bench near the glass edge showing the first level underneath.
"Okay so..." i tried to process everything going on in my life. Where do i even start?
"So i left my parents house to live with Fez because their fighting got worse. I just didn't want to be there anymore." i decided not to tell her that my dad was abusive towards me. I'm not sure if i want to open up about that just yet.
"So i packed up some clothes and ran off to his place. Honestly i don't think my parents care either because they never reached out." i shrugged. "Everything is going great at Fezco's. Until one day, he told me his supplier was coming. So our plan was to just keep me in the bedroom until he left. But Rue showed up and she wasn't leaving until she got her damn pills. So Rue and i both got put in the mix. Then his asshole supplier tried getting Rue to do Fentanyl and so i decided to take one for the team and take the fentanyl so Rue wouldn't have to." I watched as Maddy's face dropped right before my eyes.
"Aster." she was speechless.
"I didn't want Rue to do it. It's bad enough she's not staying clean, but doing Fentanyl is the last thing she needs." i let out a sigh. "So i did it, and ended up costing Fez an extra 600 dollars. I feel bad and i want to pay him back the money. I also want to get a job to give him money for letting me stay there. I don't want to just live there for free. That seems fucked up." i let out a sigh.
"You poor thing." Maddy pulled me into a hug.
"Let's go job hunting." she insisted.
—sweeteasaint
thank you for 6k!🤍
we've been robbed of fexi.