Erwin POV – a week ago
The sound of snow blowing around his head was deafening and Erwin pushed his scarf further down his nose. He had long lost feeling in his fingers or toes and the skin of his face burned as if flames were slowly tearing it apart.
He bit down on his lip and soon enough tasted the sweet blood, hot on his frozen mouth. His mount was fighting for every step it took to get closer to the woods that would make it easier to get somewhere safe.
Erwin exhaled shakily, his eyelids closing and opening. They were so heavy...and he just wanted to sleep. Sleep...
He shook his head and bit down harder on his lip, not really entertaining the thought of falling asleep in the middle of a snowstorm. All of his previous missions had met him with different hardships, be it the weather, the place or the people he had to work or fight with. This little storm was nothing compared to them.
The wind was hitting him with full force now, just enough to make him hiss in pain.
But giving up now was not even an option.
Finally, the trees came in sight even though the mist and the white storm swirling around them did their best to keep him from seeing anything. Erwin let out a hard breath, gripping the reins harder and pressing his heels against his horse's body.
It sped up, if only a bit.
They passed the first trees and soon they were surrounded by a whole forest, keeping the snow away from Erwin. He coughed. The cold was scratching his throat and he had a hard time concentrating on anything but staying on horseback.
Hours could have passed. Minutes. Seconds. Erwin wouldn't know.
Time had lost its meaning in the presence of the sudden silence. The storm was far away, only a muted noise that he blended out as best as he could. They went on like that for what felt like an eternity.
Trees.
That's all he could make out by now. Their strong trunks, the snow covering their crowns. Erwin shivered, his coat not enough to protect him from the low temperatures of winter. No path to see. No way out of this labyrinth.
"Armin!", he shouted. "Armin!" His voice didn't echo. It was a disruption but gone as soon as he closed his mouth again. No answer.
One second there was nothing.
But suddenly there was a giant animal jumping in his way. His horse whinnied, throwing its head left and right. Erwin tried to hold on to her neck but he had lost all feeling in his fingers. The animal snarled, claws big and sharp, and his mount threw him off while fending off the predator with hooves raised in the air.
Erwin met the ground with a grunt.
The animal made another threatening sound and Erwin's horse took off, racing out of the forest. Erwin cursed and got on his feet, ignoring the pain in his side.
The animal shook its head and opened its mouth wide enough to show its piercing teeth, sharp enough to kill him without even trying. It circled him, paws pressing down the snow that reached its ankles.
Erwin stayed still, not daring to move a muscle. The predator looked like nothing he had ever seen before with small eyes and big ears that were covered in golden fur. It hissed and came to a sudden halt as if it had only then realized that Erwin was watching it closely.
"Sorry, sorry.", Erwin mumbled, averting his gaze but secretly keeping an eye on it.
The animal was now close enough for him to touch it should he reach for it with his arm. But he cared way too much about his limbs. Any sudden movement could scare it so the only thing left for him to do was to wait until the animal decided that-
Suddenly it roared, the sound loud enough to scare off some birds hidden in the crown's of the trees. All it's power seemed to activate every single muscle of the thing's body. It leaned backwards, ready to jump and Erwin closed his eyes.
But just when he expected the creature to hit him with full force, there was a yell and the sound of footsteps in the snow.
He flicked his eyes open and was met with an unexpected sight.
Blond hair whirled around, big stones passing Erwin's head only barely when another voice joined in.
Together his saviors threw rocks and sticks at the animal, scaring it with their animalistic cries. It screeched, hissing at them one last time before running away, deeper inside the forest. Then there were those footsteps again and a second later a pair of blue, worried eyes were taking in his battered state.
Erwin blinked twice, confusion flickering over his face.
"Armin?"
- - -
Eren POV
"Ready to go to bed?" His mother tugged him in, handing him his favorite stuffed toy. Eren held it against his chest, the five-year old child smiling up at her.
A knock on the door prompted Carla to turn her head.
"Come in."
Zeke peaked inside the room, his hands holding on to the doorframe. When he spotted his little brother in bed, he smiled and waved at him. Eren made a happy noise and jumped up, throwing the blanket on the floor in an attempt to get to his brother as fast as he could.
"Zeke!"
He jumped into the older boy's arms and Zeke propped him up on his waist..
"Hey, big guy. Aren't you supposed to be asleep already?", he asked and Carla lovingly shook her head, a smile on her face. Zeke walked over to the bed, keeping his brother pressed up against him. Eren nuzzled his head in the crook of his shoulder.
"Why don't you go back to bed?", Zeke proposed. "You must be tired. And tomorrow's your big day."
"I want to be as big as you!", Eren laughed and Zeke tousled his hair. His brother's laugh vibrated in his chest. He hugged him tightly and Zeke kissed him on the head.
"Eren, let go of your brother. It's late. You should long be in bed."
"No!", Eren shouted, clinging to his older brother like his life depended on it. Carla sighed.
"Eren, don't be stubborn."
"I don't want to go to bed!"
Zeke sat down on the mattress, placing Eren on his lap with a hand in his dark curls.
"You said you wanted to be as big as me?"
Eren nodded feverishly, determined to prove his brother just how serious he was. Carla stood back, waiting for what Zeke was about to do, her arms crossed with the smile still adorning her lips.
"You know how I got so big and strong?", Zeke asked the boy, the crown on his head not moving a bit when he leaned down to touch his brother's forehead with his own. The younger prince shook his head.
Zeke's lips formed a sweet smile, a big contrast to the otherwise so stern and unemotional man.
"I went to sleep when my mom told me to. So I would get new powers while I was resting."
"Mom told you that?" Eren turned his head to face his mother who watched the scene unfold without saying a word. "Mommy, is that true? Will I also get powers in my sleep?"
She simply nodded, not able to form any words. Zeke lay him down, draping the covers over his small body and took the crown from his head to place it on the little shelf beside his bed.
"Go to sleep, Eren. Tomorrow is your big day." He tousled his hair a last time and disappeared from the room after a few muttered words to Carla, who nodded and waved him goodbye. Just when she was about to leave as well did Eren cry out: "Mommy! Wait!"
"What is it, darling?"
"Tell me a story." When Carla opened her mouth to tell him to go to sleep, Eren said hastily: "I will go to bed if you do. Big promise."
With a sigh she came back to the bed, smiling down at her young son.
"Well, if you promise it then I will believe you. Which one do you want to hear?"
"The cool one with the birdies!", Eren shouted excited, pulling the covers under his chin with his stuffed animal nearby. Carla knew instantly which one he wanted to hear and began to talk with her soft, gentle voice: "Many years, hundred seasons ago, there was a boy. He had a little sister, who he loved very much."
Eren beamed at her, knowing the next words out of her mouth after having heard the story countless times before.
"They lived happily in the forests, far away from other people. Until one day his sister didn't come back from a hunting trip. The boy searched for her everywhere and wandered deeper into the forests than ever before."
"And then the big birdie came!", Eren interrupted the story, eyes gleaming in the dark of the room. His mother nodded patiently.
"It had followed the boy for days. Protected him from any dangerous animal in the woods. Its feathers were as black as the night, it's eyes always watching over him. One day a tiger wanted to hurt him, to save its little ones. The bird scared it away, revealing itself to the boy."
"They were good friends.", Eren chirped and Carla leaned back against the mattress, her arm draped around her son's shoulders.
"They were. Even though the bird couldn't talk, they still understood each other. It led him to a cave in the mountains. There he told the kid to turn around, to cover his eyes."
Eren mimicked the gesture his mother was describing. Her voice and the rain splashing against the window of his room, high up in the palace he lived in, were the only thing he could hear.
He listened to the chuckle of his mother when she noticed what he was doing.
"The boy heard strange noises, the noise of wings and a screech. Then a human voice ordered him to turn around again. When the boy did, he was facing a human boy. The boy revealed himself to be a phoenix."
"Phoenix.", Eren tried to pronounce the strange word.
"He told him that his sister was one of them. But she disappeared to protect him."
"Why?", Eren asked.
"Because the rest of her family wanted her brother to also be a phoenix. She wanted to give him a choice. The boy asked what he would have to do to see his sister again. And the black phoenix told him that he would have to transform into one of them."
"He transformed and then they hugged because they were so happy!", Eren said with a proud smile and Carla laughed, enjoying the enthusiasm of her boy whenever she told him a story.
"They did. And to thank the black phoenix for his help, the boy promised to keep the line of the phoenix alive. He promised to rule the lands as the Black King in the lands that are now called Eldia."
"That's our home!", Eren giggled. Carla gave him a sad smile.
"Yes. That's our home."
"What happened to the Black King?"
"Well, he ruled over Eldia for many years and passed on his gifts to his children. And they ruled in his stead."
Eren bit his lip, sitting up in bed and leaned against his mother who laid an arm around him without questioning the sudden need for contact.
"Then...are you also a phoenix?"
She flinched.
"No, honey. I am not."
He hummed, closing his eyes. Exhaustion took over, just like the feeling of heavy bones.
"And...am I a phoenix?"
Sleep dragged him under before he could listen to his mother's hushed answer.
- - -
Eren had forgotten that stormy night for many years. A suppressed memory. One of the few happy moments he had had in the palace with his mother and his brother.
His heart had yearned to remember it and reading the pleading words of his mother on that letter was what gave his brain the final push.
With his hands trailing the line of Raes' feathers, he wondered if his ancestors had looked just like him. If Raes had the looks of a phoenix.
He had never thought much about the stories his mother had told him late at night when he was too much of a brat to go to bed. There had been so many of them and the story of the phoenix and the boy had never been more than a fairytale.
A beautiful story.
How much truth was woven into the words his mother had told him all those years ago? Was this what he was supposed to remember? Supposed to find?
"Find the Secret of the Phoenix!"
He frowned at Raes, who returned his irritated gaze with a small croak.
Eren remembered how his powers had felt during Grisha's ceremony. He remembered the power circling through his body and the feeling of...wings. They had been black.
"Its feathers were as black as the night, it's eyes always watching over him."
He had hoped to find answers in the library. Something to distract him from the guilt that was eating him alive. Distract him from all the problems waiting for him outside of this room, where Pixis had thankfully left him alone after taking a single look at his somber face.
Problems like the Queen waiting for his next step or his father, who was surely waiting for a chance to act on his sick desire for revenge. Armin was still missing, as was Erwin and Levi wanted answers and explanations that Eren couldn't give him. Not before the time had come.
Instead of answers, Eren had found new questions.
And he couldn't help but ask himself the same question as back then.
Am I a phoenix?
(Ahhhh we finally get closer to the truth! So the Phoenix plays a great role in Eren's powers and apparently Carla knew at least a bit about what happened.
FunFact: The little flashback was supposed to happen...I think...40 chapters ago? Ha. Well. Better late than never and it suited the story much better at this part.
I can't say it often enough - thank you for your kind words, they play a great part in this early update!)