(I feel like this song relates to this chapter...)
Noah pov:
I hear a thud come from inside "DIXIE WHAT ARE YOU DOING OPEN THE DOOR" i bang on the door but get no response "Dixie" I say lightly i barged in the door and see her lying in the kitchen I run over to her crying what have I caused she hasn't done anything to her self she's passed out from a panic attack or anxiety attack "i fucking caused this" I say to my self I pick her up and take her to bed tucking her in leaving a kiss on her head I leave her a note for when she wakes up and I leave on my drive home I stop at kind of a mountain I get out and sit on the edge "I'm sorry" "I don't know what I was thinking I didn't mean to hurt her I made a very stupid mistake and I'll never do it again if she ever forgives me..." I made the biggest mistake of my life I've lost everything and no matter what she decides to do I'll never stop loving her and I know she is still the one I'm going to marry no matter what and this is something I can learn from and I will never do again I sit and watch the sunset and then drive back to the house, I go inside and go to my room flop on my bed and cry my self to sleep...
~next day~
Dixie pov:
I wake up in my bed tucked in I look to my side and see a note "hey Dixie I'm sorry for what happened and i know forgiving me isn't going to be easy im sorry I did this to you I thought it was you and I was wrong I love you and forever will... Noah" I read out loud as a tear falls down my cheek I know he didn't mean to but he still cheated on me he knew it would hurt me well it's more than hurt and I just feel numb I put the note in my suitcase and I get an Uber to the airport addison flew back to la with Charli and chase so I won't be alone in the house I'm in the Uber when my phone pings "Noah beck liked your post" "Noah beck liked your post" I checked to see what posts he was liking it was the ones of us when we first Started dating to our last pic in New York kissing I didn't want to delete them but I posted on my story a pic of me now in the airport "hey guys so me and Noah are not together anymore unfortunately but hopefully one day we find each other again my love for him has gone no where but I think this is best for me but also him to" my flight gets called out and I Board the plane LA here I come when Noah comes back in a week I have to share a room with him... I don't know how that will end but I'll probably just move rooms anyway
~time skip to when she arrives home~
"Hey Dix" Charli says standing up giving me a hug I was trying so hard to not have a break down right there and then but I kept it together "hey char" we both pull away from the hug and I walk into the kitchen to get a drink of water "hope your ok" "I'm doing alright I guess" "just hurts a lot" "Maybe you should speak to someone about" "like a therapist?" "Yeh why not" "no theres really no need for that" "Dix you said there was nothing else to live for yesterday I promise it will help" "I don't know I could just talk to some one I know and trust" "why don't you come talk to me Tomorrow just act like you don't know me and speak what your thinking" "thanks adds I would love that" "I love you dix go get some rest" "I love you to char" I go upstairs and walk in my room to see 3 pictures of me and Noah on my nightstand I just broke down staring at the pictures we both looked at our happiest with each other "hey Dix-" I quickly try to wipe my tears and I throw the photo down I picked up "oh I'm sorry Dixie" "I-It's fine" "I'm sorry about what happened" "it's ok" "I'll leave you alone" she walks out and I burst into tears once again I pick up the picture of us at the Bahamas he cheated on me when all I did was love him well I tried I throw the picture on the floor and watch the glass shatter every where I know my life is going downhill from here...
Noah pov:
Im sitting in bed scrolling through pics of me and Dixie on my Instagram when I stop on the one of me and Dixie at the Bahamas smiling in each other's arms with the Caption "my baby forever and always" and then I remembered the pic Addi posted on her Instagram of the first time she saw us cuddling it's on my Lock Screen I remember that day like it was yesterday I miss the old times already I just wish this never happened until I'm facing the ceiling remembering everything we have been through...
I couldn't handle all this stress it was to much I know Dixie is having a hard time with this but I need her to "bubs please open the door I can't hear you like this it's killing me not being able to hug you and be there for you please open the door" "I-I can't" "why can't you" "because opening the door everyone is going to be embarrassed of me I'm embarrassed of myself for acting this way" "well don't be this is a very hard thing to deal with at this very moment and no one is embarrassed of you I promise" "I'm sorry" "don't say sorry" "why did I act that way" "Dix it's your emotions getting the better of you..."
Dixie pov:
I was staring at the picture on my floor when I thought of everything Noah did for me
"hey look at me" I direct her face to look at mine "don't cry I promise everything will get better soon but it's very stressful for everyone" I sit and watch the tears flow from her eyes she wraps her arms around me and digs her head in my chest with her sobs getting louder each time "my family and everyone will be here in 2 hours why don't we get ready" "i-I" "hey take your time deep breathes" she sobs louder into my chest I'm glad she's letting it all out god knows how long she's kept this in "it's ok I'll wait" "I don't t-think I can do this n-noah" she struggles to say through her sobs "you can I promise I'll be by your side..."
Or that other time I was at my lowest...
I try the door but she has locked it so I sit outside the restroom asking her what's wrong "bub what's wrong you know you can tell me anything" "my mom j-just told us that my d-dad passed away last night after being in a a-accident" "Baby I'm so sorry" I get teary from not only hearing Dixie crying but from the terrible news Marc was like a second father to me I loved that man so much and forever will "I-I don't think I can do it anymore Noah" This is we're I started to panic Dixie has Always suffered with anxiety and depression but it got way better over the years now it's all coming back "Dix don't say that you are so strong and I know you can do it you have me Bryce your mom all the others to help you through this" "no you don't understand Noah" "I do Dix I honestly do and I want to help you so please open the door" "I-I don't want to" I sit outside the door and I try to take her mind of it by telling our child hood story's...
Him telling me that story that day made me happy it made me forget all my pain just feeling him hold me tight while I cried at my lowest with his Arms wrapped around me giving me so much comfort
She gets up i open the door and she runs and throws her self at me she can barely breathe until she collapses in my Arms I sit down with her keeping her close to me "I want that to never happen again if you need to cry then cry if you need a hug or a cuddle just Come to me I love you so much" "I-I'm s-sorry for a-acting like t-that" "it's ok, take deep breathes" "we will leave you guys alone" I squeeze her tight as she crys uncontrollably in my arms gasping for air in between her crys I don't know what caused all this stress but what ever it is I want to help her get over it or forget it, she sits up and looks at me while the tears flow uncontrollably I kiss her head "let's go to bed..."
Noah pov:
The last thing I thought about was me and Dixie going on that late night drive I don't know why but the memory kept playing in head
"I'm bored like so bored" "why don't we go On a drive" "to where" "I don't know we will find somewhere" "ooo can we go to Starbucks" "coffee? Right now" "yes why not" "it's clear enough you have a lot of energy" I stand up and get my shoes and Dixie's after we put our shoes on I grab my keys and we walk out, we get in the car and start to drive I then come across a big long dark road I decided to drive down it "should we play some music" "erm if you want" I put on the radio and it's the same song Dixie was singing in the shower I start to mumble the words "I'll sit and watch your car burn" "with the fire that you started in me" I look at her and smile her voice is amazing and I hope one day she sees that, we reach the end of the Road to see a lot of apartments and shops "ooo Starbucks" I pull in and order our usual I get 2 of both one for the drive back and one for the house "thanks bub" "anything for you but should we head back it's 1:34am" "yep definitely" we drive back and we both have a karaoke session in the car which I loved After we reached home we open the door and Bryce Is downstairs "woah who's that" "It's just me Noah chill" "what are y'all doing it's like 2am" "we just went for a drive" "oh erm ok night guys" "night dude" "night Bry" I take of my sweats but I have shorts on underneath "ugh I'm bored" "me to can I set my Xbox down here" "of course baby you don't need to ask" I get up and grab my Xbox and set it up, I load on call of duty while Dixie lays on the sofa with the duvet and watches me play...
Dixie pov:
I was Slowly drifting to sleep while Noah's speech at my dads funeral was playing on repeat in my head
"we're do I even begin, Marc was a very special man to us all he was like a second father to me he always respected me and I always looked up to him but I thank him for trusting me with his daughter, Marc was a very funny man with his dad jokes and puns me and Dixie used to laugh at them all the Time while Heidi used to say that they were absolutely terrible but I honestly thought they were amazing but the one thing I'll Always remember is what he said to me when I told him me and dixie were dating and that was promise to take care of Dixie for me she really loves you and I know you would give her the world and I make that promise today that I will forever love Dixie even if she doesn't love me back and I'll always look after her you will be very much missed Marc..."
And I cried my self to sleep hoping for a maybe better day tomorrow which wouldn't be a surprise if it wasn't a worse day
Word count: 2179
Taking a break for a week or two I'll be back not feeling to good right now :(