Yoongi's POV.
A comeback always meant apprehension, hopes, fears and dreams, and counting the days until they got to show Army just how hard they worked. Comeback meant liberation, stepping back and watching the fans' reactions until they got busy again with promos and interviews. Yoongi knew the pattern quite well by now, and yet it never felt easier. He had been in this industry for years, and the only thing he got from his experience was the constant pressure to do better. He knew Army would be understanding -they always were so kind to them, but he felt the need to prove himself every time. Perhaps this was the cost of their success. People had expectations now. Don't let me shine.
It wasn't getting any easier, and there were just a few days left until the deadline. The song felt incomplete. Somehow something wasn't satisfying and he kept wondering if it was the lyrics or the beat, or perhaps the timing he set for the bridge? Namjoon had loved the beat and Jungkook had complimented the lyrics of the two first verses, so he knew it must be something else. Maybe he was the problem. The others had managed to send their songs on time, even the younger members of the team had contributed this time. He really needed to be done before Monday morning, he couldn't risk the whole album being late because of him. But a part of Yoongi also wanted to do it on his own since the others did, and he couldn't help but be angry at himself for being so stubborn. It's been a while since he's been under that much stress. Yes, a night at the studio should do it. And so he headed to the company, walking under the sunset, coffee in hand.
He sat at his desk, observing the beige wall in front of him and every single one of its imperfections. He could hear the sound of the air conditioning turning off once again and his cold hand made its way to grab at the cup sitting to his right when he realised he had emptied it a while ago. When did it get so dark outside? He sighed, putting his pencil down and pushing a strand of hair behind his ear. He had tried writing on loose sheets of papers and in his notebook. He even had his computer opened in front of him, but... nothing. He hadn't been able to write a single word. Let's grab another coffee. The dark-haired man stood up from his chair slowly and stretched. He didn't know how much longer he'd be sitting there tonight, but he was ready to spend the whole weekend here if he needed to be. His shoulder ached and his eyes were burning under his lids when he closed them, but the weight of his responsibilities made sure to keep him awake. The rapper sighed and made his way out of Genius Lab, turning right and heading down the corridor to the vending machine that would provide him with another cup of much-needed caffeine. Yoongi took a sip and relaxed. He checked his phone, making sure he hadn't missed anything important, and when he concluded that no one had tried contacting him, he turned it back off. Do not disturb. He was busy after all.
The air conditioning turned back on and the sound made him jump in his chair. He had managed to add a few harmonies in the chorus and he felt a bit better about the song in general, but he still wasn't done composing the lyrics and he really couldn't tell if he needed to change something about the instrumental track first. Deep down, Yoongi knew that it was only supposed to be a demo, but he always praised himself about how well-produced his songs were and normally they'd go straight to recording with the members once he submitted a project. He could tell this one wouldn't be enough of a finished product to have the same effect and he felt the frustration bite at him. He grabbed his mug and stared at the bottom of it with a pout. Already empty? So he headed back outside in his slippers, turned right and stopped in front of the same vending machine, crossing the janitor on his way and bowing politely when he did. The old man seemed surprised to see him but said nothing and bowed in return. Coffee in hand, Yoongi made a quick bathroom stop before heading back to Genius Lab. How pale his face had looked in the mirror... the thought of himself looking as tired as he felt made him smile briefly, and then he was back to work.
He put his headphones on and closed his eyes, trying to feel the music like he always did. He relaxed under the soft notes coming to his ears and let his head fall back against the headrest. Music was his whole world, a language he had known how to speak for as long as he could remember and a dear friend he knew he could count on when no one else had been there for him. So he let the inspiration flow through him and opened a new file on his computer. What if? A whole new melody appeared in front of him and he started recording all of a sudden, hoping this one could prove useful and be done in time. There really wasn't any use in looking at the time, so Yoongi avoided the corner of his screen and ignored the ticking of the clock on the wall to his left. He rapidly became hyper focused and the silence of the room was only broken by his deep breaths, punctuated by a few pensive hums once in a while. He had closed the blinds long ago to avoid any distraction, and he was not planning on going home anytime soon.
Taehyung's POV.
For once he had slept really well. He loved being at the dorm because there was always someone he could cuddle into dreamland and wake up next to, this time being Jimin. He untangled himself from the sleeping boy and the sheets and noticed the empty bed next to them. Hoseok must have been up for a while now. They had after all drank all night and gone to bed past 3, and if the sunlight getting through the window was any indication, he'd guess that it was most likely noon. So the second youngest headed to the kitchen, hearing his stomach complain at the lack of proper food and following the smell of bacon. He could see his hyungs sitting at the table and laughing at Seokjin's poor attempt to stop Jungkook from getting himself a third serving.
"See? Taehyungie's up and I bet he'd like his share! There's an apple left in the fridge if you're still hungry!" the oldest said, trying to appear serious despite the smile trying to force its way through his acting. The maknae pretended to be offended and grabbed said apple, taking a bite out of it before greeting the other.
"Good morning, hyung! Jiminie's still sleeping?"
"Yeah, you know him. What's for lunch?"
And the conversation went on, everyone making small talk about the end of their evenings and how they spent their morning. Taehyung loved the dorm. It felt safe and when the chaos of a comeback hit them he knew that this place was like a haven where he could rest and let go of any tension, trusting the members to take care of him. He smiled at the thought of the many heart-to-hearts he'd had with the others. If someone had told him ten years ago that he'd be a twenty-something millionaire living with six other men he would have laughed at the ridiculous scenario. And then he snapped back to reality and did a headcount out of habit. Four? Plus himself, plus Jimin fast asleep in his bed, that's still only six of them. Who's missing? He looked around, trying to find out who wasn't in the kitchen with them when it hit him. He hadn't seen Yoongi since the previous day. It wasn't like the rapper to stay in bed late but it had happened before, and Taehyung's first reflex was assuming that he had done so. So he headed to the two oldest members' room, expecting to find his hyung happily sleeping in, but he was met with two empty beds. Yoongi's was still done from when he had changed his sheets. Did he not come home last night? He started to worry and his legs started moving at a hurried pace until he reached the kitchen once again, asking
"Where's Yoongi-hyung?"
"He texted me last night. He said he wanted to work on something and he'd sleep at the company when he was done. My guess is he's still not awake, because he hasn't answered me yet." replied the leader nonchalantly. They knew how dedicated to producing Yoongi could be, it's something they all admired from afar. So he just nodded and went on with his day.
Hobi's POV.
It had been a productive day. He had bought a new figurine for his collection, worked out with Jimin and Jungkook and even napped for an hour. It's the sound of glass shattering down the corridor that had woken him up. Ahh Namjoon, what did you break this time? Hoseok reached for his phone on the floor and brought it to his face. 4.53pm, it said. He let himself scroll through twitter for a few minutes before opening his messages because he was suddenly hit by the nagging sense that he was forgetting something. The realisation hit him at once when his eyes fell on the conversation left open, the last message still not read nor answered by Yoongi. Something tugged at his heart and he rolled on his back. The rapper had especially been hard on himself these days, but not giving any sign of life wasn't like him. He debated whether he should intervene or not, knowing the older man would most likely resent the idea of his dongsaeng mothering him. Nevertheless, Hobi made his way down the corridor, car keys in hand, and stopped in the doorway to tell the others that he was heading to the company to go and get their grumpy rapper back.
He knew the way by heart, having done it multiple times a day for years. He parked his car in the employee parking lot and made his way to the elevators, calling Yoongi again. Voicemail. He let out an annoyed sigh and waited until he finally reached the right floor, almost sprinting out of the lift when it stopped moving. He had made up his mind to scold Yoongi about turning off his phone. Because of him he had to get all the way there and show up in person when he could have rested at home. But his frustration was layered with worry and incomprehension at his hyung's recent behaviour, and his fears would be painfully brought to the surface when he reached the door of his studio. Hoseok punched in the 5 digit passcode on the pad, and opened the door slowly. The sight in front of him made him stop in his tracks. Yoongi was sitting at his desk, his back turned to the door. His hand was raised at eye-level and he seemed to be completely focused on watching it move slightly. He's shaking. Hobi made his way to the tired rapper carefully, it was clear that Yoongi hadn't heard him come in. He tried gently touching his shoulder to let him know that he had come for him, but the shorter man jumped and suddenly stood up next to him.
"Hoba? I-I dropped my USB key" he muttered.
"You... what? Hyung, what's wrong, you're shaking!" replied Hoseok, his concern growing with each passing second.
"I know that... That's why I can't pick it up! Look, my fingers won't stop moving! Except when they reach the keyboard! Then they don't do shit! Hobi, wh-why can't I stop shaking? Why won't my fingers work? Why, why, why, why, why-", he turned to face him, looking for an answer in the younger's wild eyes. Hoseok was scared. He took in the sight of the other man shaking and the broken mug on the ground, next to the bin that looked like it had rolled to its current position, probably kicked in frustration. The studio was a mess. He'd never seen it get this bad and he was confused and hurt at the vision of his hyung. He had flinched at the harsh tone but he knew the signs and he knew better than to take it to heart.
"Yoongi! Yoongi-hyung, look at me. You're having a panic attack."
"Don't be stupid. I know what my panic attacks look like, I've got my anxiety under control", he scoffed in reply. "I just wanted to get this done but it doesn't work and I dropped my USB key and now I can't save anything until I- until I get it!"
"When was the last time you slept? Did you eat anything today? Hyung?"
"Thursday?"
"What? What Thursday? It's Saturday today." Hobi was confused by his answer. Surely he doesn't mean...
"I had ramyeon Thursday. I think? Now stop wasting my time and help me get the key! It's right there..."
And that's when the older member made a move to step forward, his legs completely refusing to collaborate and sending him down as his knees buckled. Hoseok, who had been standing close enough, grabbed him on his way to the ground, holding him up with widened eyes, his mouth open in surprise. He took in the other member's pale face and clammy skin. He hadn't even gotten an answer about his sleep schedule, but the purple bags under the rapper's eyes told him enough. Yoongi was looking back at him in shock, apparently not expecting to have collapsed either and processing what happened with incredulity. Something seemingly snapped in him after he fell, and he started looking around the room, as if suddenly realising where he was after all this time. He's overwhelmed. Yoongi's breathing abruptly picked up speed and he gasped, turning back to the younger rapper still holding him in place by his shoulders.
"I'm having a panic attack? I'm... how? I don't-" he suddenly exclaimed, words slurring their way out of his mouth as Hobi lowered them to the ground.
"Hey, it's ok. It's ok Hyung, I've got you." he softly replied, offering him a smile and guiding the shaky fingers to his own chest. "Can you feel that? You've gotta breathe for me, hyung. Yoongi? Try to match it, ok? Inhale- and exhale. There you go, do it again.", his voice seemed to calm his hyung for a while and felt relief wash over him as he remembered the tricks the older man had taught him years ago. But then Yoongi jumped suddenly and started hyperventilating, failing to back away from him with a weak push.
"H-Hoba?", came the quiet reply, still unsure of what he was about to say next. "Think m' dizzy..."
"Hey! No, no, no, come on! Open your eyes, look at me! Take a deep breath, Yoongi-" panicked Hoseok as he felt the older man relax in his hold and go limp. "Yoongi-hyung? Shit. SHIT."
Yoongi's POV
His head was killing him. He screwed his eyes shut only to find that they were already closed to begin with. Oh? He didn't remember taking a nap, and yet he could tell he was laying in bed. Not his bed though, somehow he could tell. He opened his eyes slowly, groaning at the effort. The room was dark and he couldn't tell where he was at first. Then he felt the needle poking the thin skin of his left hand and made out the faint noises that could be heard in the background. Hospital? He was about to sit up in confusion when he noticed someone sitting to his right and loosely holding onto his hand, sleeping with their head down on the bed. Hobi. Then his eyes fell to the person behind the other man, which he recognised as Namjoon, sleeping in an awkward upright position, arm dangling over his chair and grasping his phone and what looked like a novel. In the corner of the room, the youngest members of the team were sleeping on an old couch, resting against each other and mouths open in exhaustion. Jungkook had tried to make a makeshift pillow out of the stiff armrest, laying sideways with his legs on the two others. Yoongi could see a bouquet of flowers at Jimin's feet and a blanket next to it, apparently discarded. Taehyung was mumbling in his sleep, head resting against the dancer's shoulder at an uncomfortable angle. Yoongi frowned.
"You idiot!" a voice called from the doorway to his left, barely audible but still making him jump. "Do you know how much you scared him? How scared we all were?" Someone was walking into the room, teacup in hand. Seokjin.
"What... what happened?", he whispered back.
"Overworked. Malnourished. Sleep-deprived. Dehydrated. I believe that's what the nurse said earlier." Jin's words were said with bitterness, but he let out a sigh and softened his tone. "You passed out at your studio when Hobi tried to get you to go back home... you had a panic attack and you passed out in his arms, Yoongi. He was so scared, he had to call an ambulance because you weren't waking up! He wouldn't stop crying..."
"Shit" let out the second oldest, turning to look at the sleeping members and suddenly feeling guilty.
"Yoongi-ah?", Seokjin called softly, looking at him with concerned eyes. "I never want to receive another call like that. Please, I don't think hyung can take it, ok?" and he smiled softly, but it never reached his eyes. Yoongi nodded and looked down. He recognised the joke for what it was and heard the worried undertones of his only hyung's request.
"What time is it?" he asked.
"A little past 4.30am. Try to get some sleep for now. Namjoon-ah has prepared a whole speech for you and you better listen to him in the morning. Oh, and don't worry about the deadlines or the song, everything's been pushed. Ya, don't give me those eyes, you know why it was pushed and it doesn't matter. Honestly Yoongi, it really wasn't worth killing yourself over and I don't understand why you wouldn't-"
"...Hyung?" interrupted a small voice from Yoongi's right. Both men turned to look at Taehyung, rubbing his eyes and trying to sit up from his spot against Jimin.
"Taehyungie? What's the matter?" enquired the oldest.
"I had a nightmare... is Yoongi-hyung awake?"
"Yeah, I'm awake Tae."
"Are you... are you ok now?" he added, his hesitant tone breaking their hearts. Yoongi nodded reassuringly. "Hyung... Can I sleep next to you? Please?"
His request was met with a shy smile and Yoongi slowly moving closer to Hoseok, trying not to disturb him in his sleep. He didn't know what the nightmare had been about and didn't ask either, but judging by the fact that they younger man rarely had any and that he was currently sitting in a hospital bed, he assumed that he was most likely responsible for it, so he gently patted the mattress with his left hand, inviting the younger to join him. As he carefully approached the bed and made his way next to Yoongi, the latter lifted his IV up, motioning for him to duck under it and cuddle up to his side. When both boys were comfortably laying down, the second youngest let out a content sight and put his head in the crook of Yoongi's neck. He vaguely hears the click of a camera somewhere in the room and the oldest member's soft giggles, before surrendering to the heaviness that claims him. The rapper let himself get hugged and his left arm is protectively wrapped around Taehyung's shoulder, his other hand still under Hoseok's. Surrounded by his members, the warmth of their bodies is what lull him back to sleep, and when the next day comes and he wakes up feeling safe and relaxed as Jimin's throws himself at the foot of his bed and greets him a happy morning, he never admits that it's the best sleep he's ever gotten.