The next morning, I found myself laying on the beach, with a bottle of tequila; nursing me.
My eyes felt heavy, I had barley gotten any sleep last night.
Even I wasn’t enough for myself.
There was only one who could fulfill my desires and he, was in fact out of the picture.
Or so I hoped for.
I reached for my bra, and pulled out the small bag, which I had saved for such occasion as, I was in today.
I dug my pinky finger, into the bag and collected the white powder upon my nail.
I placed it to my nose and took it up. And then repeated this action another four times.
I laid back down, letting the sun rest on my face.
The cocaine starting to flow through my veins, I slowly felt myself, loose it. My conscience fading in and out.
I stood up and grabbed my tequila, making sure, I wouldn’t leave it behind.
I wobbled my way back into the room, making sure to avoid any type of confrontation.
As, I dressed myself I felt the world spinning, and by the time I was ready, it was dark outside.
I couldn’t even work out how long it had taken me to get ready, I didn’t even want to know, anything of too much thought just flew away.
I walked out into the car I’d hired and drove to the nearest club.
How I even managed to get their in one piece, surprised me.
I ended up, at out door club and I heard the music calling me.
At this point, I couldn’t even think straight, I wobbled my way in and immediately got lost in the crowd.
So many faces, so many people.
Non of them knew me, I could be whoever the fuck I wanted to be.
Maybe I could be free, even if it was short lived.
I turned around to find a beautiful stranger looking back at me, his eyes twinkling with all the happiness he held.
He was free and he had everything I ever wanted.
Normality.
I gazed into his eyes, wishing to get hypnotized in them; the same way I did with Xzavier’s.
But it wouldn’t work, I brushed off my disappointment and smiled at him, the most innocent face I could pull off.
I would be someone different.
He leaned into me as I swayed side to side, in sync with the music.
His lips came to my ear and he whispered,
“You are one of the most stunning girls, I have ever laid my eyes on.”
My eyes grew wide, and I blushed.
If I was me, I would have already been on top of him, but tonight I wasn’t me.
He looked into my eyes, and I couldn’t bring myself to look away.
“How high are you?”
He laughed and then I giggled,
“Not high enough.”
I raised my arms and placed them in the air, then I turned, feeling his brush up behind me.
He placed his palms upon my hips, pulling me so close, that I could feel his hardened member.
I smiled to myself and then twisted out his grip.
I stood before him and look in his eyes, never looking away.
I moved my body, letting the music carry me away.
He stood, frozen.
Watching me in awe, as if I was some angel who’s wings had been broken off.
I walked up to him and place my arms upon his shoulders, and then leaned in.
My lips lightly brushed his and then I dragged my finger, upon his lips.
I turned away, and lost myself in the crowd again.
However, seconds later I felt a firm grip upon my wrist.
I was spun into him and he cupped my face.
Instantly connecting us.
His lips harshly met mine and I felt euphoric, he was better than any drug and I was getting lost in it.
His tongue, begging for permission to be let in, and I opened letting him explore.
Then I tried fighting for dominance but he took all the control.
And eventually he released me, we were both flushed.
I turned and walked out, hoping he would follow along.
I stood against the wall, and leaned my head back.
Trying to compose myself, but everything was feeling more like jelly.
Was I even real?
My brain was clouded and I couldn’t see straight.
I pulled a cigarette from my clutch and place it between my lips, unlit.
Then the man came before me, he held a lighter to the end of my lips and lit the cigarette for me.
I took a long drag and slowly, lowered myself onto the ground.
He sat beside me and lit his own.
I watched the smoke fill the air around us, he turned and gave me pill.
At this point, I was way to gone to be able to coordinate a thought so, I instantly dry swallowed the pill and once my cig was finished I felt the effects flowing through my veins.
I stood up and grabbed him by the hand. “Come with me.” I said giggling.