"We run our fingers together. You know it's easy, the devils plan. On your own, but you cannot call me your own. Jack of all trades, master of none. Cry all the time 'cause i'm not having fun."
_________________________
re-written ;)
REGULUS BLACK
Fuck.
I trail behind Maxwell and Alice as our trio heads to our first period. To say that i'm angry would be an understatement. My moment with her yesterday plays on constant repeat in my head. The fucking nerve she has to say the shit she said. In my mind, our situations don't even come close to comparing. Cordelia Evans is a mess of a girl who's life got turned upside down, but she can manage it if she tried. Yeah? I assume she also has a family who loves her.
I, however, am forced to join a fight that is not just mine. With no support at that. I do not have a family who loves me. Fucking abuse is a common occurrence in my house; and anyone who might've cared or could've helped, has left anyway.
"Fuck," I groan as yet another first year runs into my shoulder. The crowded hallway is far too constricted and I tense every time someone brushes past my shoulder.
Alice slows as she turns to me, perhaps to check if i'm still present. The couple has been chatting to themselves with me trailing behind them.
"Reg, c'mon, we'll be late to class at this rate." Alice groans. I don't respond, keeping the same pace as before. Alice holds her hand out towards me, as if she's going to drag me along with her. "Come on Regulus." Her hand brushes mine before I use my wrist to push her away.
"Holy fuck Parkinson, I didn't tell you to walk with me you know. We're not bloody toddlers, we don't need to supervise each other. So just walk with Nott alright?"
"Alright she just said she doesn't want to be late. Calm down, huh?" Maxwell says, taking Alice's hand. "Come on Allie, just go," Alice nods, throwing me a sympathetic look before continuing on with Maxwell, hand in hand.
I begin to mutter a stream of profanities as I continue after them. The fact that Alice has the fucking audacity to pity me even when i'm a downright cunt to them angers me. I don't want her pity, I want her to fuck off, to leave me to my own isolation. Before I can get too much into my anger, my thoughts come to a halt as I feel another harsh blow to the shoulder, knocking me backwards slightly as my gaze falters from where Alice and Maxwell once were.
I look down and see a disheveled Cordelia sitting beneath me, groaning at the impact. She looks different today. Even less collected than she usually is. Her usual mess of curls is tied up into a messy knot on the top of her head, a few loose strands brushing her high cheekbones which flush as she looks at me. She looks a fucking wreck. But she looks good. Like she's just been fucked. My lips part as I take in the girl I tower over, the girl I dominated.
From the corner of my eye, I make out a figure peering around a corridor.
Watching me.
Watching us.
Watching her.
I scoff wryly to myself when it clicks.
The reason she's running.
Clearly, she saw him.
So I bend down so i'm eye level with her, ready to say something. But once again my words fade to nothing as I notice the delicate bruises that form a faint hand shape around her neck. My lips turn up into a satisfied smirk as my fingers begin to trace the patterns, admiring my art. Cordelia's breath hitches as her flushed chest begins to rise at the contact. At this moment, it could be just the two of us in this corridor, with Cordelia having my full focus and me having hers.
I lean in further, tucking a loose strand of hair behind the girls ear, a far too delicate contrast to my manners from our previous encounter.
I've returned this girls life, twice.
And I think she'd allow me to take it back.
Cordelia's lips part as her eyes fill up with something uncertain. My hand lingers on her jaw before tilting it up slightly. My other hand rises to continue to trace the evidence of the bruise, before pinching the area lightly, subtly enough for others not to notice. Her eyes screw shut but she makes no indication to the pain I know I'm causing.
I chuckle. Rub the place my hand has warmed. "Nice neck, Evans."
I grab Cordelia by the shoulders and lift her up to stand. I bend over to pick up her bag before shoving it into her chest hard, so she stumbles back in a near-incoherent daze. I look her up and down as she begins to correct herself before I walk off, leaving Cordelia, and the smirk that's appearing on her lips, to fade into the abyss of students behind me.
The interaction raised my spirits, though only slightly. Because not only have I found joy in toying with the girl who gets off on the pain I impose;
But I had just made her boyfriend watch it, too.
☽☽☽
"What's so funny?" I scoff, looking at Maxwell who has just nudged me. He's laughing with Lestrange. I take a sip of the pumpkin juice in front of me, noticing how Alice is eyeing the two immature lads in our company.
"Just you n that bird you ran into earlier." My jaw tenses slightly as Maxwell laughs. "Rodolphus here fancies a go at her don't you Ro- owe! Fuck Alice, bloody hell." Nott leans down to rub the shin Alice has obviously just kicked.
"Don't call her a bird Maxwell, it's disrespectful. She's a person for merlinsake." The which rolls her eyes at her boyfriend, still smirking at Rodolphus who's stifling laughter at Maxwells remark. "Besides, be rude of him considering Reg's taken a shining to her." Alice chuckles as she digs into her dinner.
They mustn't remember the who she is.
That or they're torturing me.
I somewhat- anxiously await the next question.
What is her blood status?
"How do you know about that anyways?" I hiss at Alice who goes to answer before being interrupted by Nott.
"It was in the middle of the hall mate, people noticed. Don't worry though, we know how it is. Discretion is of the utmost importance," Maxwell imitates a zipper over his mouth, tossing an invisible lock.
I keep quiet, wanting to refrain from coming across as annoyed by a simple bit of banter. But I am annoyed. Of course at my mates comments but also at the undeniable fact that they are right. Though, I wouldn't describe it as taking the shining to Cordelia. It's more like an obsession I want to kick. And intrigue I can't shake. She's fucking infuriating but she apparently can't and won't stay the fuck away from me. And Im also annoyed at the part of me that doesn't want her to. The part that welcomes my new outlet.
How fucking fitting, exactly what I want, I can't have.
So I leave before I can be asked any more questions by my classmates. I'm not one for mindless chatter. Especially not the awkward kind.
I walk through the halls even after the bell signifying the end of lunch has sounded. There are a few people around, the halls quieter than usual, leaving me with the realization that my head is definitely and undoubtedly fucked. I can't think straight because of her, our own counters playing on repeat like a broken record in my mind. Cordelia is like a bloody infection, seeping through my skin and into my blood. Tainting me. My own personal dark mark. when I close my eyes, I see hers, taunting me as they always do. I see her shivering along side me on a ledge, I see her with my hand wrapped around her neck; always daring me to lose control. I know I need and outlet for my anger. And perhaps she can be just that.
but not only can I not rid of her mentally, I see her everywhere now too. In the great Hall, the Corridor's, the bloody library. The girl is everywhere I am. So when I remember I'm supposed to meet her for lunch, I'm far from surprised.
"You're late." she growls as I approach her corner of the library. It's the same corner as yesterday, the one with the least onlookers. The girl doesn't do as much as spare me a glance while she continues her writing.
"Don't recall giving you a specific time Evans." I scoff and sit down opposite, tossing my bag onto a pile of parchment, earning another annoyed growl from the girl.
"You said lunch. Not five before. Not five after. Lunch."
"So bloody incessant," I say under my breath as I draw out my parchment and a quill to join her in our revision.
"It's not incessant, Black. It's common bloody sense."
"Of which none you have. So why does this matter, Evans?"
"You're losing your touch Black." She actually teases, smirking slightly. But before the conversation can turn to awkwardly friendly, she continues. "So what potion do you want to make?"
I'm quick to be rid of the look of surprise at her smile. The times we've spoken, known each other, seen each other, Cordelia has never once smirked at anything to come out of my mouth.
" I was thinking we play it safe to be honest. I don't think either of us really give a fuck about doing ourselves yeah?" she nods slightly, watching me talk. "So draught of peace."
"Sound with me." She mutters.
Our civilities continue throughout the course of our free period. discussing the necessary ingredients in which method of stirring will be the most effective. But soon enough Cordelia's eyes, feather shut.
I kick her shin.
"What the fuck Black?"
"Keep it down Evans were in a bloody library do you want to get us kicked out?" I hiss.
"No need to be so harsh about everything though is there?" She seethes, pushing hair out of her face to rub her eyes.
But if she was awake she would've seen that I had been anything but harsh. She would've seen me staring at her, watching her tranquil state, admiring how pacific she looks without the usual scowl drawn upon her face. She would've seen me blink a few times before kicking her to consciousness.
"Maybe if you could stay awake long enough to make it through this lunch we could get this shit done faster, yeah?" She mutters a snarky reply and continues her work, not looking to see that I have not joined her in resuming the work pace.
"Don't sleep well then?" I inquire.
She looks up from her work at me, leaning back in my seat, watching her. "What? Why do you care?"
"Don't. Just an observation." I shrug, looking down. "Is it nightmares?"
"Which is it Black? Do you care or not? Because you sure are asking a lot of questions. And, I think, maybe, you should sort out your own shit before you start questioning me about mine. You're not lookin' too good either,"
"I get them too, you know." I ignore her remarks. she looks taken aback by my confession.
I'm just trying. Trying not to be so...harsh.
"Don't see me raging every fucking day," She mumbles.
"But you're right. I don't care." I start to pack my belongings away, before I eye her fisted hands. In one fast movement, I'm gripping her hand. Cordelia grits her teeth, attempting to pull away though she fails to escape my grip. " just find a way to master your grief, Evans." I look at our intertwined hands in near disgust before throwing hers down onto the table.
"Otherwise I can guarantee that shit will destroy you. And I'd hate to watch your downfall,"
__________
song: master of none by beach house **
it's not always gonna be this toxic, have faith in ur local teen wattpad author <3
check my message board to stay in the loop!