I'm a Villainess, But So What...

By mrmacpuffy

584K 24.7K 2.6K

Honestly, I don't give a rat's ass about anything from the storyline. Those fucking capture targets are so da... More

Introduction
The Novea Family's Baby Prodigy
Three Year Old Alice's First Thesis
My Daughter and Her Antics
The Cliche Novel's Place in My Life
Magic Types
Alice's Sleep Deprived State
Alice's Mischievous Escapades
My Sister, The Troublemaker
The Sickly Prodigy's Appearance
I Met a Peculiar Girl
My Playdate With the Ragdoll
Boredom is My Enemy
The Awkwardness that is My Life
The Class from the Pits of Hell
The Deranged Novice Hunter, Nova
Maria's Absolute Retribution
'Camping Out' On the Clearing
Nova the Spy
Get Off of Me, You Piece of Shit
Alice's First Pet Named Lizzy
My Therapy Session with the Crown Prince
A Fly Buzzing Around My Ear
Deranged Friends and Family
Little Al's Ultimate Weapon
Lazy Alice and the Fifteen Year Old Assassin
Ax's Existential Crisis
Hibernating with Liz
The Dreadful Birthday Party
Scaring the Unscarable Assassin
Meeting Ms. Pink Fluff Ball
Temptations of Murder
Birdbrain No. 1 & 2
Pirouette-ing in Victory
The Bait, the Prince, and the Silly Dance
Am I Wrong, Professor?
How to Beguile Mr. Shrewd
Lady Novea, My Newfound Rival
It's Fine, It's Fine, We'll Torture Him Together, Okay?
Castrating My Soon-to-be Boring Toy
The Glowy Sword in Chains
The Beginning of Summer Camp
The Hothead in the Morning
Alice Novea's Troublesome Conundrum
Alice, Naska, and the Two Phoenix Familiars
The Aruarnul Amulet
A Life After the Next
The Brightly Colored Cube in the Hall
Those Stupid People of Hers
The Talent Show, the Execution, and The Harmless Prank
Your Choice, Young Padawan
I Dub Thee Human Punching Bag
Fast Forward Overview
I'm Going Abroad
The Dolts of the Elven Kingdom
The Nature of [Descension]
Mixuni's Fling with Ms. Svennal
Her Peaceful Academy Life
Rain's Hellish Job
The Oasis, the Comrade, and the Airhead
The Elf Mixuni's First Breakdown
Flying Orange Peach with Gloved Stems
The Beginning of Winter Break
The Drunk Narcassist
The Stairway to Fairydom
The Past to the Present
Attitude Issues of that Goddamn Prince
Alice's First Cut
'Geh' Game of Brain
The Kingdom of Mer
Invincible Statue of Karaoke
The Appearance of Who?
Al's Small Realization
The Shivers
Beginning of a Journey
Daily Life of the Party
It's Fun to Mess With Assassins
A Girl and a Period
Kidnapped?! I'm So Scared... Not
The Barrier
To the Devil's Castle, I Go
The Nude Dude
Alice's First Sick Day
Sebastian Butler
The Perverted Servant, Miro
Parents' Dismay
The Games Begin
The Chair
UhHhHhH wHaT sHoUlD tHiS bE cAlLeD?
The Blackout Box
Pathetic Challenge
Jacob
I Think I'm Becoming More of a Brocon
First Time Skiing?
The Inscriptions
NOTICE!
Book Two Prologue
NEW BOOK BOIS!

I Can Break the Swatter

5.2K 286 2
By mrmacpuffy


"Please, Miss Belle, mind your manners in the future." A boy said while looking at her disapprovingly.

"I'm s-sorry, I was just-" Pink Fluff Ball was up with her antics again. I watched the show in entertainment, but after hearing that phrase, I sighed and stepped in.

"Lord Bananshel. I am very sorry for my acquaintance's lack of etiquette. Truly, I apologize in her stead. I hope you can forgive her transgressions." I grasped Pink Fluff Ball's hand and held it tight, so tight that she winced. So. Annoying. I thought while curtsying.

"...It is no problem, Lady Novea." He frowned but told me that anyway. Ahhh, I love power. I thought as I continued smiling.

"I still wish to give you a small gift. Will you accept?" I asked, and he nodded. Getting a gift from an influential figure is very beneficial. I mused while mumbling, [ମୋର ଆବଶ୍ୟକତା ଏବଂ ଇଚ୍ଛାକୁ ଡାକ, ଏବଂ ମୁଁ ତୁମକୁ ମୋର ମନ ସହିତ ପୁରସ୍କୃତ କରିବି, ଏକ ଶୁଦ୍ଧ ହୀରା, ବିଶୋଧିତ ଏବଂ ପଲିସ୍, ବଡ଼ ଏବଂ ଚକଚକିଆ] A giant diamond appeared and floated above my two cupped hands, and I smiled. Grabbing it with one hand and studying it carelessly, I walked to him and put it into his outstretched hand.

"A 3,000 carat diamond, for you, Lord Banashel." I curtsied and then forcefully dragged Pink Fluff Ball out.

"Wow! As expected of the flower of society..."

"Lady Novea is so generous, a 3,000 carat diamond...!"

"For a commoner, she gave someone that precious diamond... truly selfless..."

I just chuckled as I moved away. Since I know the molecular composition of a diamond, it was easy to replicate one. And diamonds might seem big and sparkly, but the structure of their molecules is so boring. Creating that small stone only took a twentieth of my mana.

When we got far enough away from the throng, I let Pink Fluff Ball go and had a very murderous expression on my face. But, because the heroine was so dense, she didn't notice my annoyed and peeved expression and just looked at me like I was crazy. "Alice! How could you just give such a big diamond away to him! You could use it to fund an orphanage for years!"

I just covered my face with my hand and sighed tiredly, veins popping out of my forehead.. I swear, if she wasn't such a good fly swatter, I would have killed her ages ago.

"Listen, Aveline, I'll have you know that I was saving your ass back there. If you had not spoken so improperly towards the count's son, this never would have happened in the first place. And that little stone? It is quite easy to fabricate it with creation magic. So for me, that stone means nothing. I fund countless orphanages already in my duchy, you have no right to criticize me. You just go into it a few times and bring bread and cake for them. You do nothing for them besides give them a faint hope. I lift them out of slums and provide them shelter, a decent education, and a steady food and water supply." I snapped. She looked at me in shock and them crocodile tears started flowing out of her eyes. Again. I'm sick and tired of her tantrums.

"I am done. If you wish to cooperate with me to seduce the prince, then please do so without annoying me." I finished and strode away. Whatever. Fly swatters can always be replaced. If I break them, I can fix them or throw them away. There's no big deal. So if she annoys me again, I'll just kill her cleanly and make her and her family disappear. It won't affect me or my reputation.

----

It was summer vacation. Well, kind of summer vacation. Unlike the summer vacations on Earth, this one only lasted for a month, since school started in spring. I was quite sad when I heard about that tidbit of information, but at least I didn't have to socialize anymore and keep up that annoying front.

Little Al came to pick me up. I was so happy, but I could never pounce on him like I did usually when others were watching me. So I just nodded and got into the carriage.

When the doors closed, however, I hugged him tightly and squealed. "Little Al! Little Al! I've missed you so much! Ahhh, everyone else is trash compared to you! Little Al!" I rubbed my face against his and peppered him with kisses. His reaction instantly warmed heart, and my annoyed feelings melted as if it didn't exist in the first place.

I laid down on his lap. Summer vacation is already getting better and better. I'm sure that when I get home, everything will be perfect.

----

"Ali, you are going to get engaged."

"WHATTTT???"

Continue Reading

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