After the whole stealing incident, let's just say I am not being the same. My reputation is at stake here. Esme still believes that I had taken her jewellery. She thinks that I am a thief. Stefan has told me that he will have a talk with her because Ciara has witnessed Cara getting inside Esme's room. I feel when I think about Cara. Why is she doing this?
"Still thinking about the necklace?", Leo asks while chewing his food. He bought food from Mcdonald for me to lift my spirit up.
"Yes Leo", I place my BigMac down. "Esme thinks I'm a thief. I could see it in her eyes. She believes Cara."
"Of course she does", he frowns. "And why is Cara still staying here after all this?! I really thought Stefan turned into an intelligent man for dating you! But he's still dumb afterall."
"Actually Cara mom's is Esme's bestfriend", I start explaining and shove a few fries into my mouth. Mcdonald's fries are just chef's kiss.
"So?"
"So if Cara leaves after all this, it might affect their friendship. That's why I told Stefan to let it be. Besides, she's only here for a few more days. Her house will be ready to live again soon."
"I really hope you know what you are doing Jess", Leo sighs. "Because if Cara or Stefan hurts you, I'm going to kill them!"
"Aww bestie", I squeal and throw my arms around him. "I love you so much."
"Eww you got ketchup on your lips!", he says with disgust. "Get away from me."
"I know you love me too", I kiss his cheek on purpose causing him to gasp dramatically.
"Bitch!"
I start laughing at his face. He throws an annoying gaze at me before picking his burger to eat.
"Eat", he says. "We have to bake cookies after this."
Leo knows me best. Food especially sweet stuff always make me feel better. It boosts my seretonin levels.
"It's interesting how Stefan didn't try to tell Cara to leave when clearly he knows that she was the one who had put the jewelery in your bag", he ponders a few seconds later.
I remain quiet not wanting to tell him that even Stefan is behaving weirdly with me since that incident. He always looks tense and distant. When I had questioned him about his behaviour, he apologized and said it's related to work.
"Hey", Cara's annoying voice reaches our ears when she saunters in the kitchen. Both Leo and I stop chewing and glare at her.
"Oh you guys are having Mcdonalds", she chirps in a happy tone. "You should be careful Jess. I notice your eating habits. You eat too much junk food. And you know what happens afterward. You get fat."
"Shut the fuck up!", Leo snaps. "Worry about your own ugly ass!"
"You don't have to be rude", she adds. "I was just giving her advice. Stefan doesn't like chubby or fat girls."
"If only you'd knew", Leo chuckles. "You are embarrasing yourself frankly. Just leave and go be miserable somewhere else."
"Oh I know everything", she crosses her arms and looks at me with a weird smile. "We will see who has to leave to be miserable."
"So I was right", Leo laughs. "At this point just admit you are here for the pickle."
I glare at her while she looks at Leo. I just want to smack the smile away from her face. She looks so proud of herself.
"Listen", she begins. "I love Stefan a lot and there's nothing you two can do about it."
"Stefan doesn't love you", I state calmly. "Why can't you respect that he is with me like a sane person?"
"That's because you don't deserve him! He deserves me", she snaps while glaring at me. "It should have been me not you. And I will make sure that's it me this time."
"And while I do that, just keep stuffing yourself with these fatty food because that's what you are!'
"You are quick to judge and tell her that Mcdonald's is unhealthy but what about the relationship you are so envy of and trying to ruin so bad, you Mcstupid ass bitch!", Leo steps closer to her angrily.
I hold his arm quickly. He really looks like he's about to send her to God.
"Worry about yourself Cara", I state and link my arm with Leo's. "And one more thing, Stefan likes me the way I am and I do too. You are just projecting your insecurities on me. I see the way you look at me. Anyone can confirm the jealousy look on your face. Just work on yourself. You need it."
"Be gone thot!", Leo shoos her away and just to spite her, I pick up my burger and take a huge bite in front of her.
"So good", I smile at her sweetly and Leo and I leave the kitchen together, while she fumes behind.
"Jess you need to tell me if she harms you", Leo orders angrily. "She has this mad look on her face and you better tell Stefan what happened just now or I'll whoop your ass"
I nod while I keep eating.
"And one more thing", he continues in a singing voice. "You are perfect, beautiful and you can eat anything anything you want."
"Of course I can", I agree with him with a high five.
"By the way have you already choose a dress for graduation?"
"Not yet", I drawl. "Ciara said she will send me some pictures later to select."
"Let me know how it goes", he says, ecstatically.
Later when Stefan returns home, he goes directly in his study. He didn't even come to see me or Liam once. I think he is really busy in his work and that's why I don't want to disturb him. But I can't shake off the feeling that he is avoiding me.
"No Jess", I chide myself. "He is just busy. That's it."
My phone suddenly starts ringing, jolting me back from my thoughts. It's Ciara.
"Hey C"
"Hey darl. I sent the pictures of the dresses. Let me know which one you like the most."
"Wait. Let me see them", I say quickly and start scrolling through the pictures. "They are all gorgeous. I don't know which one to choose."
"Ask Stefan", she suggests. "I'll call you later."
I get up from the bed instantly once she cuts the call and starts walking towards the study. I open the door slowly and find Stefan staring at some files on his desk. He is just looking at them blankly. Is there anything wrong? He looks so tense and tired.
"Stefan", I call out as I walk in. "Are you okay?"
"Yeah", he answers dismissively. "Just work stuff."
"Are you busy?", I inquire slowly.
"Is there anything wrong?", he questions with worry etch on his face.
"No", I reply. "Ciara has sent me some dresses to select for my graduation. I just wanted your help."
He looks past my head then back at me. But this time he looks angry for some reason.
"Do you really think that I have time for this?!", he snaps, taking me by surprise. "Can't you see I'm busy?"
"Stefan", I say, shock that he is speaking to me rudely. "I just asked if you are busy and...... I'm really sorry for disturbing you. I just wanted your help...."
"What kind of help?!", he adds furiously. "Choose your own stupid dress yourself! I don't have time for all this."
"Fine", I state. "You don't have to be so rude about it. You could have just told me that you are busy without making look like a fool. I'm sorry for interrupting your work."
Remorse instantly flashes on his face but I don't wait for him to say anything else. I return back into the room and place my phone beside me on the bed.
Why is Stefan behaving like this? He has never spoken so rudely with me ever since we have started getting closer and now I feel as if we are back to square one with the way he has been behaving these past few days.
Or maybe he is really stress about work.
I hear the door opening and close my eyes quickly. The bed dips besides me as I feel Stefan getting closer to me. He places his hand on my waist and I pretend to keep sleeping.
"Are you sleeping?", his voice comes gently.
"Yes"
"No you are not", he sighs and tries to turn me around but I try my best to stay still.
"Baby", he places his chin on my shoulder. "I'm really sorry. I shouldn't have behaved like an asshole."
"You were so rude", I murmur. "I won't ask you for anything now."
"I'm so sorry", he apologizes again and turns me around.
My heart twists with agony when I see the guilt on his face and he looks so tired. Dark circles are forming beneath his eyes and his once bubbly and happy gaze are now full of worry. What's bothering him so much?
"Stefan are you okay?", I ask and touch his cheek gently.
"I am", he takes my hand and kisses my palm. "Please forgive me for snapping like that. I'm a little bit frustrated about work and stuff. I shouldn't have let it out on you. I'm sorry."
"What other stuff?", I probe. "Are you still worried about what happened at your mom's place?"
When he remains quiet, I add quietly, "Do you think that I stole the necklace for real? Is that why you have been acting like this for the past few days?"
"Of course not Jess", he leans his forehead against mine. "I know it was not you."
"I would never do something like this", I mutter.
"I know baby."
"Then what's wrong Stefan?", I question. "I feel like you are going away from me. You know, if you don't like me anymore, just tell me. I understand sometimes you can stop liking....."
Before I can continue my phrase, he captures my lips for a kiss, swallowing my words. He kisses me with a desperate intensity. His lips move urgently over mine and he groans when I return the same passion.
"What nonsense are you talking about?", he demands against my mouth after pulling away for air.
"You seems distant these days", I mumble.
"I know", he agrees. "I promise once everything is sorted out, we are going to get away from here, okay? Just you, me and Liam."
"Okay", I give him a little nod. "You are still coming to my graduation right?"
"Won't miss it for anything", he kisses the tip of my nose. "Can I see the dresses?"
"No", I pout. "I'll select them later myself."
"Won't you forgive me?", he begs with puppy eyes.
"I'm not mad at you", I caress his cheeks. "It was my mistake. I shouldn't have disturbed you while you were working."
"No", he utters remorsefully. "Don't make this about you. It was not your fault at all. I should have controlled my anger."
"Will you tell me what's bothering you?", I ask. "Maybe I can help you."
"It's okay", he leans his forehead against mine. "I can handle it without worrying you. Just know that I won't let anything happen to you."
"What do you mean by something happening to me?", I scrutiny.
"Nothing", he answers after a few beats. "I just want you to know that I'll always safeguard you with my life."
"Stefan, why do you seems so serious all of a sudden?", I stroke his skin gently. "Please tell me what's going on?"
"Nothing sweetheart", he sighs and tries to divert my mind by picking up my phone.
"Let me see your dress"
"It's really okay Stef", I assure him when he scrolls through them. "You don't have to do it. Besides I already have a colour in mind."
"Fine", he returns my phone back. "I hope it's the same one I just liked."
"We shall see", I smile.
Later, during the middle of the night, I wake up when I hear Stefan's mumbling something. He is actually saying my name and something about saving me. His face contorts with anguish and that's when I decide to wake him up. He is having a nightmare.
"Stefan" I shake him gently. "Wake up. It's just a bad dream."
I keep trying to wake him gently until his eyes fly open. He looks up at me and his eyes are terrified. His chest is heaving and small beads of sweat are forming on his forehead.
"Are you okay?", I ask with concern while stroking his cheek.
"Jess", he murmurs my name and cupping my cheek, he pulls my face down, crushing my lips to his.
He takes me by surprise when he starts kissing me but sensing that he needs it, I let him turn us around with me now underneath him as he ravishes my mouth.
A shiver goes down my spine when he slides his hand under my shirt and cups my boob. He pulls my blouse down from my shoulder and trails kisses on my skin.
"Stefan", I gasp and place my hand over his which is still lying on my chest.
"I need you", he rasps against my skin.
My breath deepens when he starts sucking at my neck. His grip tightens around me as if he is afraid I might vanish away. I bite my lip as a moan escapes from my mouth.
"Stefan", I gulp and try to lift his head from my neck, urging him to look at him.
"I can't comfort you like this", I murmurs as he keeps trailing his lips on jaw till my neck. "I'm sorry.... I can't..."
"I'm sorry love", his voice sounds thick and out of breath. "I shouldn't have jump on you like this."
My heart does a somersault at his endearment. He pulls the sleeve from my shoulder back up and places a kiss gently over the cloth.
"It's okay", I wrap my arms around him while his mouth remains against my temple.
He lays his head over my chest, with half of his body covering mine which I don't mind at all. It is rather comforting.
"Talk to me", I run my fingers through his hair, hoping he will open up to me. Since these past few days, he has been looking stressed and distant.
"Did you have a bad dream?", I probe gently when he remains quiet.
"Yes", he mumbles like a child.
"What was it about?"
"I dreamt you left me", he confesses causing my hand to still on his head.
"I'm right here", I plant a kiss on his hair. "I'm not leaving you."
"Jess", he lifts his head and looks at me with glossy eyes. "I can't even think about being away from you. It's killing me from inside."
"Hey", I cradle his face gently between my plams. "I am not going anywhere. I will stay with you as long as you want me. I'm not leaving you."
"No one matters but you", he utters shakily and not even once he blinks. It's as if he is trying to pull me in with his captivating gaze.
"You mean the world to me", he brushes his lips gently against mine. "I will do everything to keep you away from any harm."
"Nothing can harm me as long as you are with me", I declare and pulls him closer. "You make my world a better place Stefan. I never want to leave you."
"I'm really sorry for behaving rudely with you earlier", he apologizes once again.
Aww. He is still stuck on that.
"Stefan", I console him. "It's really okay. Don't think too much about it. I know you didn't meant them."
"Tell me something that I don't know about you", he states and places his head back on my chest. "Can you distract my mind please?"
"Sure", my hand returns back into his hair. "Well Leo and I used to be opposite compare to now. He used to be super skinny and I was the fat one. Not that he is fat now. He has more muscles than ever. Plus a fat ass."
I laugh as I remember our comversation about his butt everytime. He is actually proud of it. As he should be.
"My father used to make comments about my weight. Other friends and people used to bully me as well", I continue. "I used to really hated myself so much to the point that I refused looking in the mirror. I didn't like my body. My self esteem was always low. I was never comfortable in my own skin because everytime I would see myself in the mirror, I would hear people's remarks about how my thighs are big or how big I was in general."
Stefan takes my hand from his hair and brings it down till his lips. He kisses it and holds it close to his face.
"But Leo has always been my little protector. He is really the best. He taught me how to love myself and he did a lot for me. I am so grateful that I have him in my life. He has fought with everyone for me."
I get flashback from that night and a chill goes down my spine. I recall the kicks, the punches and the knife. My own screams start vibrating in owm ears. It was the night I nearly died but thanks to Leo, I am still alive. I owe my life to him.
"I nearly got killed once", my voice turns into a soft murmur. My throat starts feeling heavy at the memories.
Stefan lifts his head and places it close, beside me once he makes me turn around. His forehead nearly touches mine as he gently caresses my cheek in a comforting way.
"It was his own cousin", I keep going while keeping my eyes on his chin, unable to look at him. "He came to stay at Leo's place for a few weeks. Leo and him used to be close when they were kids but then they moved away. His name is Jake. When he returned back, he told Leo that he would stayed for a while. But neither of us knew that, back at his place, police were searching for him for two murders."
"At first he was sweet to me", memories start flooding into my mind. "But then he would make snarky comments about my body. He used to call me ugly. And then one day, when I went to meet Leo, I overheard him talking on the phone about the two girls he had mercilessly killed. I recorded it. But he saw me and then everything went downhill for me."
I snuggle closer to Stefan for comfort.
"He started punching and kicking me. It was so painful. I couldn't bear it. I kept begging for him to leave me but he said I must die because he wanted me gone. I was completely sure that I was going to die when he brought out a knife. But he only succeeded to cut me a few places and stabbed me in my thigh. Luckily, Leo arrived on time to stop him. He struck him hard on his head, knocked him out and called the police."
"He was at the hospital for his head injury as well", I look at him this time. "He found me in my room and said that he will be back for me because I have ruined his life. After he went to prison, I was at the hospital for a long time. I was told that I needed therapy as well because I always had the feeling that he would be back to kill me. I was afraid to be alone."
"That'll explains why you don't like going to the hospital. Did your therapy went well?", he asks.
"I didn't go."
"Why not?"
"I couldn't afford it", I admit it. "Therapy was expensive and as much as Leo kept offering me money, I couldn't take it. It was a lot. I decided to get better on my own."
"You are safe with me", he wraps me into his arms. "He won't be back to hurt you again."
"I have a problem Stefan", I finally admit slowly. "I am afraid to get intimate with anyone. Even with Brian, my ex, I couldn't let him see me. I know I keep doing it with you too and I am really sorry for..."
"Hey", he interrupts me gently. "It's okay. There's no rush."
"I just don't want anyone to see me naked", I state and this time a lone tear escapes from my eye. "I feel like they will see my insecurities and laugh at me. I don't want to go through that again."
"Is it because of the scars?", he probes further and wipes my tear away gently.
"My scars are mostly on my thighs", I explain. "I only have a little scar from the cut on my stomach. I just can't imagine anyone looking at me. It makes my skin crawls. I think I have got this from all the bullying. I'm just never ready for....."
"Baby it's okay", he assures me. "I will always be here for you no matter what. You have my words. We will get through this together. I won't let anyone harm you."
"Are you okay now?", I ask him after a while. "My sob story is literally so bad."
"Don't say that", he admonishes gently. "I'm glad you told me all this. You are so brave and I admire you so much more for that. You are beyond perfect for me Jess and I am glad that you are only mine."
I find myself blushing at his last phrase. I actually like the sound of that. He keeps looking at me and places soft kisses on my cheekbones. I fall in love even more with him and I don't think that I will ever stop being in love with him. My heart belongs to him forever and I hope it remains safe with him always.