prepare bc this is actually the last chapter
Jayden and I have decided on a Hell, no, we're never talking to Dahlia again.
After a while, we both realized how being around her makes us feel – like wanting to die again, like she's going to stay permanently and ruin everything, like things will go back to the way they used to be. Even without Gregor. It would've been the unhealthiest thing to do for both of us, and it's really, really not worth getting random information about some tragic thing that caused all of this. It happened, and no one can undo it, and honestly, who cares? I know, maybe she can change, maybe she can become a better person, a better mother, but wasting mental energy on things she should be working on is neither Jayden's nor my responsibility.
Jesse, Lewis and R all completely understood that – R is a literal runaway who left her parents' home at sixteen, so if she didn't get it, that'd be surprising, and Lewis and Jesse are just... You know, themselves.
"I genuinely cannot tell whether I'm losing my mind or just extremely relieved right now." I laugh and pull both of my friends into a hug. "Holy shit. This is probably the happiest I've been in ages."
Lewis smiles as we all let go of each other. "Honestly, I'm so proud of you."
Boundaries are so important. Jesse adds. And your mental health. No need to wreck it for someone you don't wanna see.
"Thank you!!" Lewis smiles at her and the almost-setting sun illuminates the outlines of the two like in a shitty romance movie and yes, they're definitely in love, and they probably didn't even notice.
I laugh, and as they look at me confused, I wave it off. "Just serotonin." I say, and that's not even a lie. I simply feel like laughing, until my lungs give in and I'm gasping for air, until strangers stare and either want to join or put me in a mental hospital. I feel the tears in my eyes, and for a second I worry about the eyeliner I spent thirty minutes on this morning, but who gives a shit? I just let them run with a smile. This is too good to be real, too good to not be a dream, and yet, I'm actually here. I did it. I made a decision, and Jayden made it, too, and now we're free. Not like my mental health is now suddenly perfect forever, of course, I will continue to struggle in the future and I know that, but this is such a big step, even though it literally consists of doing nothing.
In books and movies and everything fictional, this is the part where someone says something really emotional and everyone gets in a group hug or whatever, but that's already happened and right now, all we really need is just existing near each other. I step forward and lean onto the railing of the bridge, looking at the train that passes by below us. Jesse walks up behind me and stands to my right; Lewis's hand touches my left shoulder. And the story isn't over.
It's just beginning.
LMAO NO BC I ACTUALLY DID IT LIKE WHAT
WTF
I JUST FINISHED A FUCKING BOOK
THERE IS NO WAY THIS IS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
IF YOU'RE READING THIS THANK YOU FOR STICKING WITH ME EVEN THOUGH THIS BOOK HAS A TRASHY-ASS PLOT THAT'S ALL OVER THE PLACE AND I GENUINELY HAD NO IDEA WHAT I WAS DOING MOST OF THE TIME
ILY
ARGH
I'M GONNA MAKE A REAL A/N FOR THE END OBVIOUSLY BUT I MIGHT DO THAT LIKE TOMORROW OR SOMETHING
RN I'M JUST AHHHHHHHHH
OK THANKS BYE
AGAIN, ILY