While the others cut Daniel from the tree, Sarah sat on the steps of their cabin. The old wood creaked when Reiner stepped across the porch. He peered to the men gathering Daniel, then turned away. With a sad sigh, he removed his coat and placed it around Sarah's shoulder.
Startled, she jumped from her thoughts.
"Sorry. You looked cold," he said. The step shifted beneath his weight as he got comfortable next to her. His golden eyes focused on the men. "Some life, huh?"
Sarah curled into his jacket and turned away.
"He just left his kids behind... can you believe it? What kind of a man does that?"
"You weren't part of the invasion, were you?" she asked. Reiner leaned forward onto his fists. With a slight shake of his head, he gave his silent answer. "I was," she said. "The fear it... it makes you do things you never thought you would. I'm sure he thought his family was behind him. We're only human after all... we make mistakes."
"Some mistake," he scoffed. "Only a devil would do something so heartless."
She wiped a tear as it fell. With a sniff, she straightened. "He wasn't a devil. He was just a man." Their eyes met. "A man who made a terrible mistake."
He slowly turned away. The hardness of his eyes became softer as he contemplated her words. "You were in the invasion? You... saw the titans?"
She crossed her arms to hide her scars, though they were covered by his jacket. "My brother was crushed to death by a piece of the wall. My mother, she... she was torn from my arms and eaten alive."
He closed his eyes. Becoming stiff and angry, he exhaled a deep breath. "I'm... sorry..."
"Yeah," she wiped her nose. "Me, too."
"I saw you staring at him this morning. You must've been out there for hours." He fell silent as she turned away. "That isn't the answer, you know? What he did. Life is tough, but if we just hold on, it can get better."
"What if it doesn't?" Their gaze met, and he was speechless. "Until you've lost everything... you can't judge him for the choice he made."
"No... but I can still try to save you." She avoided his gaze. "So, you saw the colossal titan?"
She nodded. "He was far away. The armored was closer. He broke through the wall just after I escaped it." She paused with thought. "The funny thing is that, when I looked at him, he felt human. Like he was sad for what he had done."
Tense and repressed, Reiner became silent. Turning away, his jaw clenched and he stared unblinking. "That's stupid. The titans are mindless killing machines. They don't have thoughts or feelings."
"I know."
"Someone in the refugee camp was saying they must've been intelligent. Doing it on purpose. Caused such a riot they hanged him in the streets." He turned to witness her terrified expression. "It's best to keep your mouth shut about that. Wouldn't want anything happening to you."
Their attention moved to Bertholdt as he quietly approached the home. "Reiner," he said. "We should get to work."
With a nod, Reiner stood and followed his friend. With a glance to Sarah, their eyes connected, and he was overcome with sorrow.
Later that evening Sarah worked with the others to make vegetable soup. Annie passed her the potatoes, while Reiner and Bertholdt cut the corn and green beans.
The house was eerily silent. Only having been in the home for one day, Sarah wasn't sure how to act around them. When the sound of a cork popping echoed from the table, Sarah turned to find Reiner pouring a cup of wine.
"Where did you get this?" Bertholdt asked.
"Sid gave it to me. Said it can wash our sorrows."
Annie shook her head. "We should focus. This isn't the time for drinking."
"Says you," Reiner said before gulping down half his cup. His eyes shifted to Sarah, and he lifted the bottle. "One for the lady?"
The thought of drinking made her nauseous, but the temptation of drowning her sorrows was too good to pass. Stepping to the table she snatched the bottle from his hand and took several large gulps. Wiping her mouth with her arm she passed the wine back to him.
He smiled with pride and poured another round. "Guess it's just the two of us."
As Bertholdt and Annie cooked dinner, Sarah and Reiner remained at the table. After finishing half the bottle, they became warm and numb.
"Okay, let me guess," he started with a finger to his chin. Sarah laughed at his overly twisted face as he examined her face. "Regina?"
"No!" she giggled.
"Clara?"
"Mm mm."
"Pauline?"
"Guess again."
"Damn!" His smile was big as he tried unsuccessfully to guess her name. "Why not just tell me?"
She shrugged. "I'm sure you'll get it eventually."
With another gulp of wine, he threw up his hands in defeat. "Fine keep your secrets!"
Her face burned with a bright shade of pink as their eyes met. She was happy to feel normal again. To not have the burden of loss and grief weighing her with sorrow.
Late into the night she and Reiner found themselves sitting in the common area while the others were asleep. With the dying light of a small oil lamp to keep them illuminated, they fell into different conversations.
"You fought off a bear?" she asked.
"Yeah," he said with a laugh. "I mean, it wasn't that big or anything, but I did. What? You fought off a titan! And you don't believe I survived a bear?"
"I didn't fight it off. My mother did."
"Well, same thing, right? I mean, you survived against all odds."
"I guess..."
"So, what do you plan to do with this second chance? Going to go to the interior and buddy up to the king?"
"I haven't really thought about it. I don't really have a plan, I guess." She lifted her knees to her chest. "Sometimes I just want to go back home. Give my family a proper goodbye."
"Why don't you do it? The scouts are always looking for new recruits."
She scoffed. "I'm not soldier material."
"You survived the assault on Shiganshina. You've got titan teeth marks on your arm for God's sake! If anyone can survive in the survey corps, it's you!"
She crossed her arms. "What about you? Do you have any post-apocalyptic plans?"
He chuckled. "Not really. Might try my hand at the cadet corps. Get top ten. Buddy up to the king."
"Really?"
"Yeah. It's the safest place. Figure if the titans do manage to make it to the interior, at least I'll know what the hell I'm doing."
"Yeah... I guess being prepared isn't a bad thing. Beats the hell out of running."
"So, let's do it then. Join the cadet corps with us. We're just as miserable and lonesome as you, so I'm sure we'd find a way to make it work."
She laughed through her nose with a half-smile. "I don't know."
"Hey, it's your life. I'm just trying to give you a new purpose. Maybe you can set up shop in one of the outer districts. Find a job and settle down."
"No... if I'm going to do anything I'm going home. I'm going to go back to my family and lay them to rest. They deserve better than what they were given."
He placed a hand on her shoulder and looked into her eyes. "Whatever you decide, just make sure it's for you. You get one chance at this life. Make it count."
"Thanks, Reiner."
"Hey, I'm not all muscles and brawn, okay?" He smiled as she laughed. "Just, uh, whatever you decide, promise me one thing... don't let me find you like Sid. That isn't the answer."
"What do you—"
"I've been there. Contemplating it. I saw it in your eyes. The way you watched him. Just... if you ever start to feel that pull... find me. I'll help you through it. You aren't alone."
With a nod, she turned away.
"Alright, well, I think it's about time to hit the sack. Got a long day tomorrow." He stood and stretched. "See you in the morning."
Sarah stood and clutched his hand. They stood close together, the firelight softly flickering against their skin as the flame died out. "Sarah," she said. "My name. You never guessed... it's Sarah."
With a light smile, he kissed her hand. "See you in the morning, Sarah."