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Chapter 36
Riley
I've been sitting here at the hospital for what seems like hours. Dad's in emergency surgery. The police were here when I finally got to the hospital, frazzled and upset. I got a little bit of information from them on what happened. I still don't know why he was on the freeway.
A drunk driver was coming up the wrong way on the off ramp. It was a head on collision. Internal injuries, bleeding, his right leg had gotten stuck between the dash and the seat when the front of the car crushed on impact. A main artery in his leg was severed. His chest was crushed against the steering wheel when the airbag deployed. The fire department had to cut him out of the car. He was unconscious at the scene.
The drunk driver sustained cuts, bruises, a broken arm but basically minor injuries. He doesn't have insurance and has been cited by the police. He is in custody and in a cell sleeping off his drunk. He'll be fine, while my father has lost a lot of blood, broken bones, punctured a lung and is in surgery. His prognosis doesn't look good.
Those words just repeat in my head. His prognosis doesn't look good.
There were no words of encouragement from the doctor when he came to talk to me. He was compassionate and professional. Sincere in his sympathy as he apologized for what he had to tell me. That was hours ago.
His prognosis doesn't look good.
They will do everything they can for him. They will make him as comfortable as possible. There are no guarantees he will wake up. I'm alone for the first time in my life and I don't know what to do.
He was my rock. The Sunday morning rides to the lake with donuts and hot cocoa to watch the sunrise. It was our tradition, just the two of us. Football games on Sunday nights, late night study sessions for those science projects I dreaded. A turkey dinner at Thanksgiving and a ham at Christmas. Both were usually leftovers from what didn't sell before closing, but it didn't matter to me. He was my rock. He never failed me.
His prognosis doesn't look good.
I haven't even gotten to see him. He's been getting worked on this entire time. I feel so empty, hollow, like I should be doing something to help him but I don't know what I can do. I'm not a doctor, I'm not even a medical student. I went into business school to help run the diner. I didn't think about medical school. He did. He told me I could be anything I set my mind to.
His prognosis doesn't look good.
Maybe I should have. Should I have gone to school locally instead of going to California? Should I have stayed and just worked in the diner with him? Would it have made a difference?
Pulling my legs up to rest my forehead to my knees, I curled up in the chair, rocking myself for comfort and I let the tears come. We're a team, dad and I. We were a good team and I left him alone to follow my dreams. I left him alone.
His prognosis doesn't look good
The guilt stabs at my heart. My stomach hurts, I'm hungry but can't eat. I'm tired but can't sleep. Exhausted, really but I need to be here in case he comes out of surgery and needs me. I can't go back to school. I can't leave him alone again. He has been my rock and I'm all alone. My rock is broken.
I remembered to text Hunter when I got here before I spoke to the doctor but I haven't heard back. She's probably worried about Aiden and the worry of her family is keeping her from responding. Or she's upset I left. Will Aiden understand why I wasn't there for him? Will he forgive me?
He has a big family to help him through whatever happened last night. His uncles and aunts, grandparents and cousins will be there to see him through. Aiden is strong and determined, he'll recover and make his dreams reality. He'll have surgery or whatever is needed because his family will make certain of it. Aiden's world will move on. Dad has only me.
I'm alone, it's just me.
I haven't been able to reach Fran. I tried to reach her but got only her voicemail. I didn't want to tell her in a message what's happening. I asked her to call me back, that it's important she call me back but she hasn't. I'm alone.
I'm expected to make life or death decisions for him. I'm not ready for that. How do I know what the right thing is? What if I choose wrong? What happens if I lose him because I make the wrong choice?
I tried when my brain was still firing on all cylinders to call Hunter. I wanted to have a shoulder to lean on. Someone to help me make the decision but I don't want to think about what I'm supposed to do. I don't want to think that I might lose my father. I just want my daddy. I want to curl up in his lap with the sound of the ballgame on the TV, softly giving the play by play from the other room as he rocks me to sleep.
I want to wake up from this nightmare to find myself in my bedroom at home. To wake to the smell of bacon and strong coffee, waffles and maple syrup. I want to come downstairs to find him cooking eggs at the stove while the coffee percolates on the old burner.
I want to know he's going to be fine. But his prognosis doesn't look good.
The last words he said to me were to not worry so much. Life works itself out. He just wants me to be happy. He knows I'm a worrier. I don't remember what I said to him. I don't know if I said that I love him, or how much I appreciate everything he's given up for me. I don't know if he knows all that. I don't know if I said that I love him so much. My rock.
My head hurts almost as much as my heart does. I don't know how to do this without him. I don't know what to do if I lose him. Why did this happen? Why? He's such a good honest man. He's never hurt a soul. Why him? Why wasn't the other driver hurt just as badly? Why?
Anger wells up into a frantic jag of tears. Hot and heavy spilling down my cheeks and I hiccup trying to catch my breath. I don't want this responsibility. I just want my dad. Just him and I promise, I'll quit school and stay here. I won't leave him again.
"Riley?" At the sound of my name, I lift my tear drenched face to look at the woman before me.
It doesn't register who she is. Although her face is familiar, I stare up blankly at green eyes that show understanding and pain. Her gray and black hair is swept up away from her face and hot pink sunglasses rest like a crown on top of her head.
Her UCLA sweatshirt is pushed up at the elbows and the jeans she wears has seen better days. My eyes fall to the tile floor and glimpse the pink chucks on her feet. I know her or she's a figment of my imagination. Either way, I'm glad she's here.
"Honey? Oh, lord child, tell me it isn't as bad as it looks." She asks, sitting down next to me and wrapping me up in her welcoming arms.
Those strong arms surround me as I go limp with heavy sobs. My head leans to her shoulder as I let it all out. Her soft murmurs of sympathy and consolation fill me. I'm not alone. She's here to help me through this. She won't make the wrong decision and will make sure I won't either.
"Are you my fairy godmother or did you just read my mind?" The whispered thought makes her laugh.
The sweet rumble of laughter as she rocks me side to side sounds like music. "Oh, sweet pea, I've been known to read my children's minds on occasion but I've never been called a fairy godmother. You just take it easy now. I'm right here to take care of everything. You aren't alone, baby girl. Never alone again."
She rocked me, slow and easy, comforting me and assuring me that I'm not alone anymore. Georgia is an angel. She seems to know exactly what to do and when she's needed. I cried myself dry and exhausted, my eyes drooped closed while she held me close.
I sit in silence with Georgia, her hand stroking lovingly down the back of my head and through my hair. My throat feels swollen and clogged, my eyes gritty and dry, my body aches with exhaustion and Georgia holds me giving me strength.
She waited for me to get my emotions out, settled me down and calm before she asked about my dad. I conveyed to her everything I knew, everything that happened and what I've been told by the doctor. It wasn't much. It wasn't encouraging, it was dismal news.
"His prognosis doesn't look good." I stuttered out the words that have been stuck repeating in my head.
"Hush now, sweetpea. Don't you think that way. You let me have a little talk with that doctor and we'll see what we see." She patted my knee and got up. Going straight to the nurses station, to get to the bottom of this. If anyone can make a difference in the outcome of my dad's condition, it's Georgia Bradford.
I strained to hear the conversation, their voices were quiet and movement animated. Georgia shook her head then shook her finger in the doctor's face. Her hands curled into tight fists, resting defiantly on her hips as she pushed for information.
When she turned around to look at me, I knew there was nothing she could do. The sadness in her usually bright eyes has dimmed significantly. The prognosis isn't good.
She walked back, head held high, a shimmer of tears in those green depths the color of grass on a warm spring day. Georgia sat next to me without saying a word and wrapped me up in her arms and cried with me. His prognosis isn't good.
"They're getting him ready for you to see him, honey. He isn't in any pain now. It happened fast, he didn't feel any pain." Georgia spoke with tears running down her face. "I'm so sorry, sweet pea. So sorry. You aren't alone. I'm right here for you and you'll never be alone again. I promise you, I'll take care of everything you need."
"I need my dad." I blubbered out, crying once again. "I didn't get to say goodbye. I didn't tell him that I love him. He didn't see me graduate or get married, he won't be here for his grandchildren." My life without him flew in front of my face. It was so lonely, so empty without him.
"I'm here. I know it's not the same. I know how hard it is to lose a parent. Someone you love so much. I know how hard it is and how hard it will be tomorrow and next week and next year. But you aren't alone." Georgia cupped my face as she spoke, making sure I knew she would be here for me.
"Can I see him? I need to..." my bottom lip quivered as I tried to keep my composure.
"Yes. Of course. I'm going to take you to him. I'll stay if you want but I understand if you want to have that time alone to say goodbye."
She guided me down the hall. In a hazed blur of white walls and stainless steel, hushed voices and the steady beep of monitors, she led me to the room where he's laid at rest. So still, so quiet. No machines were beeping in here, no monitors were lit. Just the stark bright lights, beating down on his face frozen in time. Bruised and cut, they had cleaned his wounds but the puffy red bruises were more pronounced against his pasty face.
Georgia squeezed my hand but stayed by the door as I walked in. "I'm going to be right outside, honey. I'm going to let Blake know. He'll tell Aiden. I'm right outside."
She stepped out, closing the door behind her and giving me the privacy I needed to say goodbye. I don't know what to say to him. Can he hear me? Does he know how much this hurts? Did he know I was here before he left me?
Dragging a chair over to the side of the bed, I sat down slowly, not taking my eyes off his face. Taking hold of his cold limp hand, I brought it to my lips and kissed it as the tears fell. I don't know what to say.
"I'm here daddy. I got here as fast as I could. I'm sorry, I didn't get here sooner. I tried. Why were you out there? What were you doing? I don't know how to do this without you. You left me alone and I don't know what to do." The tears fell harder as I laid my head on his stomach and cried. "I love you. You are my rock, my best friend. I'm going to miss you so much. I wish I had gotten to see you one more time. One more day. I would have taken you out for donuts and watched the sunrise with you. We could have caught a game, I can get tickets now. We could have seen a live game. I can't do that without you. What do I do now?"
Georgia stood in the doorway and nodded. "You come home. I'll help you, Riley. We'll bring him home."
Aiden
"Damn it!" Blake sighs, rubbing his fingers over his forehead. He looks over at me, watching and listening to his every word. Turning his back on me, Blake walks to the window and softly asks, "Is she okay, Ma? What can we do to help her?"
All I can do is watch and listen to half of the conversation. Blake isn't saying much, making it hard to decipher what happened. Whatever happened to Riley it doesn't sound good. No one is telling me anything. Hunter managed to slip in to tell me she found her, but it was at the airport. I don't know why she was there. It's not like Riley to just take off this way. She's too careful about spending her money. Riley watches every penny she has. Hunter said there was an emergency right before Emma kicked her out of the room.
"No stress." Emma ordered per Jake and Grace's orders.
Screw that. I'm more stressed being left in the dark. Blake and Matt are babysitting me while Emma and Chelsea get everyone home. Mom won't leave even though. I know she's been here all night. I know she's wiped out. She should just go, it's not like she is doing anything more than sitting in a chair across the room looking at me.
She looks freaked out. And Dad is no where in sight. He didn't bother to come to the game. I don't think Blake or Mom has bothered to call him. Why would they? It's not like Dad's going to do anything but bitch about me failing his plan and not having my head in the game. He'll say I was focused on a useless woman, who can't do anything for me. He's wrong on all of it.
I want to leave. If I could, I'd be out of here but the bully squad is on duty. I know Blake and Matt mean well, I just want to know what happened to Riley. Blake is trying to find out. It's not the same thing as me being there for her. If I knew that she needed me, I would have missed the game. I'd have gotten on the plane with her and be there for her. But no one is telling me shit.
I can't even be there to help my girlfriend. I'm stuck in this stupid bed, no phone, no electronics with a concussion and a massive migraine. I've only been told my injuries are worse than they thought. I could have gotten by without the surgery before the draft, that was before the game. Not now.
Williams beat the living shit out of me. He took advantage of the situation and took me down the only way he could. I don't remember what happened, I don't know how I got to the hospital. I was knocked out cold thanks to the son of a bitch.
There's questions as to whether Williams was on any drugs at the time of the game. I overheard the nurses talking and faked sleeping to listen in. He got aggressive with the ref, Sawyer and Blake. It took four of our defensive players to hold him down. They think he's on something. I guess he got brought in too.
I know something like this happened to a friend of Breyden's in college. He was injured right before the draft and got hooked on drugs, pain meds, and messed up his future. Blake said he even lost my Aunt and cousin because of it. I guess it isn't unheard of that this kind of thing happens.
The nurses said Williams is being tested for anabolic steroids. They are known to cause aggression. Williams has been aggressive, angry and obstinate for weeks. I thought it was just stress but it sounds like it's a lot more serious. I feel bad for the guy if it is. Blake and Matt aren't going to let him get away with what he did to me.
The combine is around the corner and I've got to have surgery and now I'm dealing with a massive concussion. I don't know how I'm going to get drafted like this. Maybe this is fate's way of telling me my game is up.
If my career is ruined before it's even started, Williams is going to wish he never taken some stupid pill to up his game. It won't help him in prison. What he did was attempted murder. I've got a stadium full of witnesses to back me up. At least that's how Matt sees it. They've told me that much about my situation but won't tell me about Riley. How much worse can it be?
Blake and Emma have been taken over for my parents. I haven't seen my dad in days. Not that him missing is a surprise. He's probably out banging his latest mistress. While Mom is just sitting here worrying me about my pillows needing fluffing and if I want water. What I want is Riley. I want to kick Williams ass for this. No one is letting me do either.
"Yeah, I'll tell him. Tyler will get you at the airport. Jim's going to be with him. Ma, whatever she needs... okay. Love you too." Hanging up, he turns around and just looks haunted at me. His face looks miserable as he tucks the phone into his pocket and sits next to me.
"Are you gonna tell me about Riley or am I guessing?" My tongue and temper are getting the best of me.
"Watch your mouth, kid. Grandma wanted me to wait until she had Riley and knew what happened before saying anything to you." Blake began but still hesitates.
"And?" I pushed for him to just tell me already.
I heard him out. Every detail Blake conveyed made me kick myself for getting angry because she wasn't at the game. I feel like a complete jerk. Her Dad is gone and all I was thinking about was myself. All I wanted was for her to be there for me when her Dad was hurt, on death's door literally. Of course, she would drop everything to go to him.
"Ma has her. She's arranging to bring Ben back here to bury him, cremate, whatever. Riley is really shaken up. Ma didn't have to push her to come home. Riley is just lost. She needs this family to step up and support her. We will be there for her in any way she needs, that's an order from your Grandma." Blake explains telling me they're heading for the airport soon and are just waiting for a car to transport Ben.
I don't know what to say. I'm a selfish jackass. I was so worried about the game, it never occurred to me that there could be a problem with her Dad. Riley has to be devastated. They were close. As close as I am to Blake and Emma. If I lost either of them, I'd be in bad shape.
"Get me released." Tossing the covers off my bare legs, I sit up and the room starts doing 360's. I think I'm gonna puke.
"Relax! You aren't going anywhere. You've got CAT scans still. And you getting hurt will help take Riley's mind off the pain she's feeling. Ma said she isn't handling it well. She was alone when they told her he wasn't going to make it."
Fuck! Fuck!
I know what Riley's Dad means to her. Her Mom left them a long time ago. He's been her main supporter, her friend and only family. Riley is all alone now. I can't imagine how lost she feels. My family is huge. How many times have I wished them gone, just for some peace and quiet? I wouldn't know how to deal alone.
"I need to be there for her. She needs to know she's not alone, that I'm here for her. Blake, she doesn't have anyone else. I'm all she's got." Holding my head, I slowly try to get up again.
"Lay your ass down in that bed or else I'll zip tie your ass down." Blake shoves me, none to gently, back into the bed. Sitting next to me, he keeps me in the bed with one hand on my chest. I've got no strength to fight him. I'm weak as a newborn baby. "Riley is with Ma. She's not alone. She's got this family. You love her. So do we. She'll never be alone and Ma's taking care of everything. We've got her, Aiden. You just take it easy and we'll bring her to you."
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