Alex's Pov
After my talk with Ayanokoji and Horikita I started contemplating some things while makes my finally checks before the Zodiac exam starts.
I have been acting in ways that are diametrically opposed to what I ever would have thought to do previously, is this me breaking bad so to speak?
I have always tried to protect myself from any potential danger but now I am caught up in the rush of danger and profit.
Less than 6 months ago I was calm and content reading books and spending upwards of 16 hours a day in bed sleeping and reading and most of the other part of my day playing games or eating. Now I am being cunning and primarily focused on money and sex, I wonder if this is the rush that powerful people feel?
I wonder if I will fall into a deep hole I cannot get out of, maybe I will turn power hungry? No, I know full well that this change in personality is temporary, I am living out my regret for being so passive and disconnected from society in my past. Soon I will retreat from both extremes and hopefully be a better person to show for it.
I may act on sexual desires with a more than willing partner like Fuka and seek large quantities of points but being power hungry is not in the cards for me. Perhaps I am too careful for my own good and am seeking so many defensive measures that it will bite me in the end, I am slowly accepting a hard truth.
I realized it when I saw Ayanokoji's darkest eyes, the primary driving force has been the same as it was in my past life, simply given new shape in this new world. The single thing that has driven me for as long as I remember even when I wasn't consciously aware of it.
Fear.
I am scared, so very scared, and of what I am not sure. If I had to guess it would be primarily this new world, if I get expelled what will I do, I have no clue who I am in this world. What awaits me after expulsion or graduation anyways? What if I mess with the story written for this world and get Ayanokoji expelled, he will suffer even without his own realization he was this entire time, for the rest of his life.
Unknowingly I had started playing king of my year, I know more then anyone else about this school and I know what would happen. I lied to myself saying I wouldn't interfere much and would not bring attention to myself but was I just lying to myself? I have already show a large part of my potential utility to Arisu and Ayanokoji, Horikita to a much lesser extent as well. Fuka knows quite a bit too but I don't think I need to worry about her, I might have to scale back my plan for this exam somewhat.
After this realization of some of what is going on inside my head I realized that my plan I made was a strategy made by someone who is desperate, someone looking behind there back all the time and sleeping with one eye open.
In my own desperation I seem to have started thinking recklessly, that my knowledge and ability could allow me to get somewhat arrogant in my abilities.
To use what Sae-sensei said to Ayanokoji regarding Icarus, if you think of Daedalus as my knowledge of this world from the light novel and anime that provided my wings to escape my future as a cowardly and fearful person, then it seems I have been playing on the border between salvation and self-destruction. I have been flying too close to the sun and didn't even notice the wax of my wings starting to melt, hopefully since I caught it at the 11th hour I can recover.
If not, I will most certainly fall to my doom in the near future.
I had a plan, but like is common, I had to throw the plan out and come up with a new plan the day before this exam is announced.
Firstly I had to talk with Sae-sensei about Ayanokoji, I already made that commitment so I have to go through with it or I will put myself at even greater risk. Luckily I was able to message her to meet me tonight, we are meeting in the theater like she met with Ayanokoji. Once we arrived the place was almost completely dark, except a few light for being able to walk safely down the steps.
When she arrived she had her usual expression but from my time with her I know she is still elated after the results of the island exam.
"Hello Sae-sensei, thank you for meeting me tonight on short notice. I have something very important to talk to you about."
"It is rare to hear from you after we finished our tutor sessions, to what do I owe the pleasure for bring us here tonight?"
"I will get straight to the point; you need to back off from Ayanokoji."
When I said that she instantly got serious, obviously not very happy with what I said.
"I wonder what you are talking about, I haven't spoken to Ayanokoji in private since the time in my office May 1st."
"Cut the bullshit Sae, I know exactly what you said in this theater to Ayanokoji the day before the island exam. I even chose the exact same seat that you sat in."
When I said that her eyes went really wide, she immediately looked at the seat we were in and realized I was telling the truth.
"Sae I know your goal by doing that but I must ask you to cut him free, it is for the best for all parties involved."
"So you are asking me to let go of my ticket to Class A? First you refuse to help me in any meaningful way and now you insist I release your replacement? Don't you think that is a little selfish?"
It is very ironic that she is calling me selfish with what she knows but it is more accurate then she will ever know.
"Sae, it is because this path you have started on only have a single conclusion, your utter destruction. It is your mistake to think of Ayanokoji and a replacement for me just because I caught your attention slightly before him. Compared to him I am not so impressive, a mere amateur at the art he has perfected, that is why going against him will end much worse than just losing Class A this cycle."
"With how much you know me Alex you must know that I am betting everything on this cycle of students, there has never been a Class D with this much potential since the difference in classes became wider and Class D stopped being a contender. You know something about Ayanokoji that you are not saying, I don't know when or how you found out but you have known for a while. Tell me, what makes you so wary of Ayanokoji-kun?"
"Sae, you are wrong, I am not wary of Ayanokoji in any way. I am plain and simply terrified of him, I will do anything in my power to not make him my enemy, yet here my favorite teacher threw herself into the crosshairs without knowing the slightest thing about what he can truly do. There are many things happening behind the scenes that you do not know about, you say you are betting it all on this cycle but you do not mean you are actually betting everything, do you? You may tell yourself that you are ok with having your job on the line, maybe even willing to use your body as payment, but that will never be enough when the time comes to pay the piper."
I don't know if my tone conveyed my seriousness in my words but Sae looked terrified at what I said, I could see her sweating and breathing heavily. Now that I warned her I can throw her a line and make her mine completely.
"Do not despair yet though, I have talked to Ayanokoji and he said that if you are willing to let him free and tell him yourself that you will forget you ever knew he was special in any way he will let bygones be bygones. Since circumstances have changed in some ways I will be willing to lend some assistance to your cause in the next special exam as well. Tell me you agree and I will have him come here now so you can say it to him."
"I-I c-can't give up on him, I need to reach Class A, I don't care what happens to me after that."
Oh Sae, you poor girl, stuck in the past that you don't even acknowledge that the present and future exist at all. I pity he very much but at the same kind somewhat admire her drive.
"Sae, that is literally retarded, give up on Ayanokoji and focus on alternatives, I never asked you to give up on Class A. Recent circumstance have caused some changes to what I plan to do and the same is true for Ayanokoji, soon enough he will be forced to act from forces outside either of our control. Whether you reap the benefits of his actions is up to him, no matter what it is better than being the victim of them."
After a short silence I continued.
"I have recently discovered just how thin the line is between salvation and oblivion. You, similarly, to me have been slowly dragging yourself closer and closer to the abyss thinking it was your salvation. Since then I have been going under a change of philosophy, right now you are on the edge of the hole leading to that same oblivion and I have grabbed your shoulder to stop you. The decision to heed my call or throw yourself into it yourself is up to you, but as a friend and someone who cares for you I would be very sad for you to go out like that."
While such a dark mood permeated the theater I tried to lighten the mood.
"You went about the entire thing from the wrong direction since the beginning, you would have had a better chance at getting Ayanokoji to cooperate with you if you offered him ice cream and promised to let him keep his seat next to the window he so very much loves looking out of for the next two years. He is someone how values the little things but will devour anyone that tries to impede on his freedom, without knowing you did the one thing you shouldn't. I am no longer giving you a choice, I texted Ayanokoji when I saw you arriving here and he should be here soon. Cut him free and promise you will not try anything again, even if you have to beg and lick his shoes do it."
"I-I understand, I will do as you say."
Clearly still reeling from what has what has happened until now she isn't even able to process what is going on anymore, she will do whatever I say until she is able to recollect her thoughts since I am the person she trusts most here currently.
"He should be here in a minute of two, try to clean up your appearance, you look like you have just been crying like a child."
Sae absentmindedly did as I said, as a women so stuck in the past she is not aware of what is going on right now after being so violently shook from her own illusions. She will still do anything to get to Class A but will no longer think about Ayanokoji.
After another minute where Sae made herself look presentable again Ayanokoji arrived, he was visible different than his normal demeaner on gave up an aura of supremacy. When Sae felt it I could see she was afraid of what she had done, probably clinging onto how I said if she apologized now it would be ok.
When he got to us I greeted him.
"Hello Ayanokoji, thank you for coming, it seems Sae here has something to tell you."
"Hello Alex, sensei, I am listening whenever you are ready."
Quietly and pitifully Sae stood up and gave a deep bow to Ayanokoji, then she spoke with a quivering voice. She sounded more like a young girl scared beyond belief than a teacher, I truly pity her.
"Ayanokoji-kun, I-I, I am sorry for trying to blackmail you for my own selfish desires. Please accept my humble apology and my promise to never do anything similar in the future."
Sae was looking at the ground and shaking slightly, Ayanokoji seemed slightly perturbed about her sudden change in mentality and walked closer to her, as he got closer the shaking increased. Over he got just in front of her he lifted up her chin with his hand and forced her to look into his eyes, they were very dark, but not comparable to what he showed me in the hallway earlier. Sae, who had just been broken by me just looked at him in the eye and slowly stopped shaking, not because she wasn't not scared, but because she just broke.
I couldn't see her eyes currently but I am sure they look totally vacant, ready to submit completely to either me or Ayanokoji as long as we offer her the slightest light.
After a tense 40 seconds of looking into each other's eyes Ayanokoji released her chin and stepped back.
"Thank you for realizing your mistake sensei, I will forgive you this time since you did not know, but if you ever try anything against me I will not forgive so easily. Goodnight Alex."
With that he walked away with the same expressionless face as before, I walked over to Sae who was not slumped on the ground looking into space idly. I helped her up and took her to lean against a wall, after a few minutes she returned to some level of awareness. Once she did I immediately grabbed her wrists and put them above her head while driving my leg between her legs, sort of like what Ayanokoji will do to Kei later on.
Sae did not resist one bit and just looked at me, accepting anything I would say or do.
"Sae, from now on, you are mine. You belong to me mind, body, and soul. I am the only one that cares about you and the only one that can help you, you will do exactly as I say from now on, no questions asked. Do you understand?"
"......yes."
"From now on you will tell me everything the school tells you even if it is about special exams, specifically things about the inner workings of this school. If you are a good and loyal girl I will reward you, do you understand?"
"Yes."
"Ok, if I tell you I want to use your body to release my built-up sexual desire, what do you do?"
"Spread my legs and accept without complaint."
"I see, good girl. Your body would welcome me in fact, wouldn't it. You have been in love with me since the first few weeks of school, haven't you?"
"........."
"I wonder how many lonely nights you spent thinking of me, how many times you have imagined me being with you. You probably want me to ask you that."
"..........."
"Sae, you are lucky, to have the man you are deeply in love with as your master. Do not worry, I will treat you very well, I know how lonely you have been with Chie-sensei stealing all the men you must be longing and in need of a mans touch. Or perhaps have you never felt the warmth of a man's touch?"
"......."
"I see, you are still not ready for that yet, even if you deeply want it, it will have to wait for later. For now play the role of a teacher and report to me regularly, if you are the loyal good girl I know you can be I will even get you to Class A. You make think differently about me now, but you have secretly wanted this from the start right, you know you are not capable of reaching Class A, you must like the idea of just having to follow orders and not have to have faith in yourself, the one who messed up all those years ago. I am sure soon enough you will fall even more in love with me, in time you infatuation with me will bloom into obsession. As the person leading you to salvation I will shoulder the brunt of the force and protect you from yourself."
"Thank you........ I will do anything you say, I will act under your orders from now on. You may use me as you see fit, even after graduation I will be yours, I have placed my complete faith in you Alex, as my master."