tw: bullying
a game is where you play against one another. in some games you have to have certain skills to win. if you don't try your best you'll be deemed the loser, and who would want to be called that? a game can be fun if you truly wanted it to be. but why take a board game or video game that seriously?
but since we're on the topic about games, why not explore all the fun little things? so many words can go with games, but i only know one that fits perfectly.
mind games. the act of where you toy with someone's mind. you plan out actions or responses to lead them into the cage.
the psychological effect you can bring to a person
but don't worry,
it's just a little game.
✧༺ ༻∞ ∞༺ ༻✧
wednesday. the day considered to be the middle of the week. people found that day to be boring as it was just a checkpoint. there's nothing special about that day as it's just there. but you found it to be relaxing. maybe that was only because you were sitting at home on your couch. no annoying voices running through your head, no papers being shoved in your face.
and it would stay that way for awhile as christmas break finally came. it was much needed, as you could tell on peoples faces that school was starting to become boring and repetitive. and they weren't wrong. it was the same schedule every day. you wake up, go to school, abide by the rules, do your work, go home, eat, and sleep.
each day becomes an endless cycle as it starts to become the only thing you know. the one thing that has a major take in your life.
sure it was boring but you couldn't escape it. it was a part of life, and if you wanted to grow you had to do it. you want to pass and go to college well then you better start studying for that seventy five question test that's coming up next week. and if you don't pass then better luck next time, you can always retake the grade until you get the material stuck in your brain.
the only thing that they went by was test scores. in all honesty it doesn't matter your name or age, it just matters what you get on your next test.
and as some people find it easy to score high, others struggled. but it didn't help that teachers only taught one way, and if you didn't understand that way then you were not fit for that subject.
such a repetitive thing but you can't change it.
picking up the remote from the coffee table you turned the tv on. if you were going to sit in silence then why not have some background noise. as the tv screen flashed to a random channel you turned down the volume making it to where it sounded soft.
you always found yourself in your thoughts. you looked through each and every single one of them, and if something seemed off it would always be on your mind. it sat there only for you to question it.
maybe you were an overthinker but knowing that information wouldn't change a single thing, it would just make you think harder.
the house you sat in was quiet. which was a no brainer as it was empty. the walls were painted white, but it wasn't always that color. after a while you found it boring to look at an obnoxious salmon color so you painted over it. but now that you think about it, maybe that wasn't the reason.
each unused bedroom was empty. there was no use to decorate an empty room if no one was going to use it. so you let the silence and decaying hate you had for this house fill it up, you let it paint the walls as it twirled around to plast different designs onto the wall.
the pictures that hung on the walls were fake. you didn't know a single person in them but no one seemed to take notice.
every corner you took in this house was a lie. but you didn't care. you could only hope that the wood would start to rot. that it would break down leaving the house to fall into pieces. letting the such painted and carved designs on the walls to crack. you wanted to see the pictures on the floor and stepped on, no stomping on until the faces of the strangers were no more.
you wanted to watch the roof cave in, crushing everything below it. crush all the lies and the plain colored walls. because maybe if it were all gone you didn't have to look at it.
it was like your secrets were nailed into the walls leaving you to look at them. and as your eyes scanned over them you couldn't help but want to paint over it again, but with a different color.
but no matter how many times you were to run that paint brush over the textured walls you were still going to see the stains. you could try to cover it up but it was like an automatic feature for your eyes to go straight to where that stain was. so if the house were to just fall you wouldn't have to be reminded of anything anymore.
you're no saint. you have your secrets along with the reasons of why you are, the way you are.
but in the house you hated so much, held a room. on the second floor, all the way at the end of the hallway stood a pink door. the only color that stayed in this house. the room used to be yours as you spent endless nights in it as a child. those days were rough but it held great memories.
memories you still played in your head and wished you could relive. but of course each memory had its downfall.
you had been asked countless times on what you were doing here in paradis. nevertheless asked who you were. you didn't blame them as they threw profanities your way. because in reality no one would know your so called backstory and it will be kept that way.
but why not just let your brain relive the memories one last time.
4 years ago; 8th grade
your hand latched onto the nickel colored door handle as you opened it. when the door swung open you instantly felt the gush of air surround your body. unlike outside, the air was welcoming as it washed away the warm and humid air you had just walked through. the sweat that had started to form quickly stopped feeling no need to continue.
looking around the office you sighed. you never understood why you took your time to stop and scan the room. it looked exactly the same as yesterday. counters that formed half of a rectangle sat in the front of the room.
three ladies were put behind it. they were there everyday as each one welcomed you by handing you the blue pass. you always felt bad as they were so nice to you, yet you never learned their names.
all over the tiny room were arm chairs. they were fully black and uncomfortable to sit in. so you wondered how the man who sat in one looked so unbothered when he leaned back. especially the chair he was sitting in. that chair was broken as the back of it would dig into your skin like it was taunting you, and sure enough it would as people would often find another chair. they couldn't handle the pain.
walking over to the counter you stood in front of one of the ladies. her hair was blue but it had faded out over the past few days. the color started to wash away turning into a greenish color. it didn't look awful but you questioned why she hasn't gotten it redone. by the end of the week it would turn into a light green and it just didn't match her style.
the woman looked up, giving you a glance. once she recognized who you were, her face lit up. knowing that you weren't one for talking she pursed her lips to keep from speaking.
she didn't want to put you on the spot or make you nervous. so as she gave you a smile her right hand reached out to grab a blue colored pass.
not wanting to stare at her, your eyes traveled across the counter only to find something out of place. on the edge stood a white vase with crack designs scattered all around it.
it was odd to you because there were no flowers but you didn't care to question it as maybe they forgot.
looking back over at the lady, she outstretched her arm handing you the paper. taking it from her grasp you mustered up a small smile before you turned to your left to walk out the office doors.
it was always awkward to be in there as the office ladies always tried to start a conversation. but they learned fairly quickly that you weren't a talkative person.
walking out of the office you finally stepped foot into the school building. the lights casted over everything making it shine brightly. but you hated the cool lights, it made you feel as if you were trapped in a hospital.
the smell of sickness entering your nose as you could hear people desperately clinging onto their chair letting the tears roll down their face. by the end of the day their pants and shirt were covered in the wet drops that their eyes produced.
it was unusual for students to say they hated the school lighting. when you enter through the door that's not the first thought that would come to mind. so when people asked you why you hated school you would just reply with 'the kids'.
it wasn't exactly false. it was somewhat truthful. the school population was mixed with different types of people. a majority of those people are nice.
if you were to accidentally drop your pencil case on the ground they would stop what they were doing and help you. and if you walked into school with a project they would walk with you to drop it off at the teachers classroom.
but not all the kids were like that. in the world we live in, everything won't be sunshine and rainbows. your parents may have taught you that people are kind, and you should respect everyone. but it was utter bullshit as that same group of kids stood at the end of the hallway all huddled up.
the small group consisted of two boys and a girl. the female stood with her back facing the crowd of people rushing to class. her hair was jet black, which was pulled back into a low ponytail.
the ends of her hair had a little wave to it, but there wasn't much. two big chunks framed her face in the front. she wore a plain white t-shirt that fit nicely. a long tan trench coat sat on her body which paired with the shirt. and finally she wore black jeans that were long and straight.
the two boys that stood next to her were irrelevant. it didn't matter if you knew them or not. all they ever did was stand there and nod their head to whatever she said.
maybe the two males were nice but nobody would ever find out because no one was curious enough.
you walked in the hallway one foot after another. each step you took was as if it rang throughout the hall. so as you took another step it echoed in the hall making it known you were walking through. and she heard it. with a sudden snap her head turned and her eyes landed directly on your body.
blinking she turned around to face you, the only problem was that you weren't looking in her direction. at the sight of you, her eyebrows raised in delight. the smile that you had grown to despise took over her features. raising her arm up she waved it around to catch your attention "y/n over here!"
hearing your name called, your eyes traveled to the girl. her hand quickly moved signaling for you to walk over there. the voice inside your head rushed to take over your thoughts. it started off small as it whispered to ignore her and walk away. but when you lifted your leg to take your next step it got louder.
it screamed and yelled trying to gain your attention. like a child in a store. it wailed loudly, yelling what it wanted. it began to throw things off of the shelf hoping they would be heard and not ignored.
but your legs moved on their own as your body started to walk over there. and suddenly the voice in your head stopped only for it to turn into a dreadful feeling.
stopping in front of the girl you sheepishly smiled. the girl returned the gesture as she crossed her arms over her chest "hello y/n."
taking a breath in you hoped it would settle down your nerves. "hi pieck."
her eyes left your face as they traveled down your body. she inspected every inch of you. and once her eyebrows furrowed into disgust the displeasing feeling of regret seeped into your skin.
the voice in your head let out a sigh as it took a step back wanting to leave. it repeatedly whispered 'i told you so'. but the voice was you. so you cursed your legs for walking over here.
her eyes finally left your body alone as they came back to meet your gaze "later today i'm going shopping, would you like to come?"
it was a backhanded compliment. and it stung badly. once her hand made contact with your skin you couldn't help but let the pain take over. the stinging pierced through your cheek as it hopelessly begged for the needles to stop. it was a hard slap and from the warm feeling on your cheek you were aware of what she had done.
you opened your mouth to give her an answer but your throat tightened preventing you from saying anything. it refused to reopen as it didn't matter because you had nothing to say. you weren't one to hit back, it was disrespectful.
so instead you just let her keep taking hits off of you like always. just like a punching bag. each hit she took only made you smaller. it made your tongue melt, making it to where you couldn't say anything.
humming she sucked on her teeth at the lack of a response. her eyes scanned your body once again and stopped on another spot to punch. smiling she pointed at your stomach "i have a really good diet you should try!"
your eyes slightly widened at her words. and your mind stopped. the voice that had been yelling at you from the start vanished. you always wondered if she would ever realize what such words could do to someone.
you wondered what made her that way. but you never asked as it wasn't you business. you were like the two boys who stood next to her, quiet. didn't speak a word when she would take a hit at you.
swallowing you looked up giving the girl a half smile "im good pieck. i'll see you later"
before she had a chance to speak you began to walk away. maybe next time you'll listen and just keep walking. you knew that wouldn't happen but you could only hope.
the day went on like usual. you went to all your classes and did all your work. took tests if you needed to, helped out teachers with graded work. it was just like every other day. well almost. the week was half over as it was wednesday. the checkpoint day.
grabbing your bag you began to walk to your next class. all you had to do was get through 45 minutes and you would be good. while walking in the hallway you noticed something odd. at the end of the hall there was no group of kids. she wasn't standing there.
which didn't bother you, as you could now walk freely in the hall without her harassing you.
it was like that everyday. she calls you over then decides to insult whatever she can find on you that day.
finally making it to your next classroom you walked it. you were surprised to see that everyone was already here.
everyone was placed in their seats as they patiently waited for class to begin. usually everyone would walk in a few seconds before the tardy bell rang. you were always the first one in here.
walking to the back of the class you took your seat. you were lucky that nobody had taken it on the first day of school. it was right next to a window that overlooked the courtyard. you often found yourself looking out there when you found class to be boring. it was beautiful to look at. the staff took care of the garden therefore the flowers would bloom nicely.
setting your bag onto the ground you looked up. your eyes traveled to the clock that sat on the wall. taking into account that class started in three minutes you decided you should take out your notebook. shifting your body to dig through your bag you abruptly stopped.
while reaching over to your bag a sudden coldness poured over your body. it started with your head as it started to run down your hair clinging to your clothes, it dripped down your skin leaving a trail of wetness behind. the liquid was cold as goosebumps started to arise. once it reached your shoulders you instantly arched your back scrunching your face at the unbearable cold feelings
and suddenly laughter filled your ears. it rang throughout your ears and began bouncing around in your body. the vibration of their laughs started to shake your body as a feeling of despair creeped up on you. your eyes widened at the sound praying that they aren't laughing at you.
relaxing your shoulder you looked around the room to see what you prayed not to happen. everyone in the room faced you as they doubled over in laughter. kids had their phone in their hand as they were recording you.
your eyes scanned through each face and as you did you couldn't help but feel powerless. seeing a figure stand beside you, you turned your head to look at her. in her hand she held a big white bucket. on the outside held a label that read 'orange juice'. looking at her face she instantly started to break down into laughter looking at your facial expression.
she sat the metal bucket onto the floor as she reached behind her to grab her device. holding it up she clicking a few buttons before a white flash, stinged your eyes. taking a step back pieck couldn't help but laugh harder at the picture.
it was something you couldn't escape, the laughter.
tears started to form in your eyes. a burning sensation started to form in your throat. the walls of your throat began to close in trapping the burning feeling inside. your body was begging to cry but you refused, only letting the burning feeling spread around your throat even more. getting up from your seat you quickly rushed towards the door.
pushing it open you started to run out. rushing down the hallway you tried your best to get away from the voices. as you ran down the hall you prayed for it to stop and vanish. the laughter only got louder as it swormed your head wrapping you up with rope. it took over your body forcing you to feel the embarrassment and despair.
swallowing you felt the burning pain wrap its hands around your throat squeezing it until you were at the brim of tears. everything started to become blurry as the tears clouded your vision making it hard to see where you were going. your body begged you to stop running as you were only making it harder for yourself to breathe.
testing it out for yourself you tried to take a deep breath in but failed as your nose stopped and pushed the air back out.
halting in place you stepped back letting your back hit against the wall. as you blinked, tears began to slide down your face, it was continuous as it wasn't going to stop anytime soon. but it was a relief because the burning suddenly stopped letting you breathe.
your feet started to move forward as your body began to slide down to the floor. taking in deep breaths you smiled at the pain that had been released.
pursing your lips your smile got wider. letting laughter erupted from your mouth you let your mind swarm with their laughter. it had to be funny, so why not play along.
shaking your head you lifted your hands to quickly wipe the tears away.
looking forward you were met with a girl. she was kneeled in front of you with her head tilted to the side. swallowing, you looked at her but came to the conclusion you didn't know her.
she wore a pair of black dickies as a belt was wrapped around her waist. a dark green hoodie was paired with it as black rings littered her hands. the jewelry matched with the lip ring she wore. and lastly her hair was a bowl cut.
as your eyes landed onto her, the female smiled at the fact your attention was now on her. lifting her hand she grabbed onto a vanilla folder right next to her. she opened it and began to flip through the papers. nodding her head at the fact they were all there she placed the folder onto your lap.
furrowing your eyebrows you picked up the folder "what's this?"
the blonde smirked as her tongue came out to fiddle with the lip ring "if you're so curious why don't you open it?"
looking down at the plain colored folder you started to chew on the inside of your cheek. your hand hovered over the folder not quite sure if it wanted to open in. you had no clue who the woman was and didn't exactly know if you wanted to find out what hid behind the folders walls.
deciding to open it you were met with a bunch of photos. your eyes widened as they scanned the pictures surprised at what you had just found. picking up the photo you shook your head "i'm confused"
letting her tongue slide back into her mouth she took the photo out of your hand. smiling she spoke "well for starters my names yelena"
you slowly nodded your head at the information still not understanding. as you looked back down at the folder another tear escaped your eye. it ran down your cheek stopping at your chin.
yelena lifted her hand and wiped the tear with her thumb. when she did her ring brushed against your cheek wiping away the warm feeling, and replaced it with a cold one. holding up the photo that she took from your grasp she used it to point down at the folder "i'm sure you know pieck"
nodding your head you started to look through the pictures, curious to what the camera had caught. the female sighed as she took the folder out of your hand. closing it she lifted it using it lift your chin so your eyes would be on her. "don't you feel embarrassed after what happened today? i'm giving you a gift everyone craves. it's simple, you have information on her that can make her pay for what she has done to you. it's just about if you have enough hate in your body to do it."
tossing the folder back onto your lap she stood up. your mouth slightly opened from the shock on how tall she was. not wanting to anger the blonde you closed your mouth and looked at the folder.
chuckling she spoke "let's hope you'll use it, yeah?"
you heard her footsteps fade away but you didn't dare look up. quickly opening the folder back up you continued to look through the pictures. once your eyes came across one your face lit up. closing the folder you smiled at what you had found.
the adrenaline inside you started to rush with anticipation to see the look on her face.
the look when the powerless become the powerful.