Me: "Didn't y-you hear all that I-I just said?"
Kumkani: "I did." He said giving my neck a squeeze.
Me: "Then w-why-."
Kumkani: "All the things you are scared of won't happen little beauty because I won't leave you. Ever." He told me strongly.
Me: "But-."
Kumkani: "Trust." God!
Me: "King-."
Kumkani: "Don't you trust your man now?" This man!
Me: "King I-."
Kumkani: "Don't you trust your man?" He asked again. Gosh! He was killing me.
Me: "I do." I answered in a whisper.
Kumkani: "And you love your man don't you?" Lendoda! ... "don't you beautiful?"
Me: "Yes...I do." He eyes flashed with satisfaction.
Kumkani: "Then that's all you need to do. Love and trust me, and I will take care of the rest beautiful. You hear?"
Me: "But-."
Kumkani: "No buts." He cut me off... "love and trust. That's all you need to do. Okay?" Oh my gosh! Lomntu! I could feel myself caving. I wanted to throw caution to the wind and take a leap of faith but I was still scared. Very scared. What if I did agree to marry the king and all my fears ended up coming through? I was still far from being okay. Could I really be someone's wife? Could I really heal? I didn't know but I wanted to try both badly. Be the king's wife and to heal. I thought about how it would feel to be the kings wife and him my husband and my soul actually smiled. It was telling me that I should agree and that the king was the best and only choice. He would do everything that he promised me. He would love me. Protect me. Take care of me. And never get tired of me and I wouldn't get tired of him. My whole body was shaking now... "okay beautiful?"
Me: "Okay." I heard myself saying. Wait... Did I really just agree to be the king's wife bethu? Don't be stupid. Oh my God! Oh my God! I did it. I agreed and I felt like there was no turning back even if I wanted to. The smile that broke out of the king's face made the tightness in my heart together with my worries to ease away completely. It was a smile of pure joy and happiness. This man really wanted to marry me people. He really wanted me as his wife. He really loved me. All that was visible on his handsome face right now.
Kumkani: "Say you'll be my wife." He ordered.
Me: "King..."
Kumkani: "I want to hear it. Say it." Gee! He was so dictatorial this king of mine. I took a shaky breath.
Me: "I-I'll be your wife King-." And then he kissed me. The kiss was so rough. So dominant. So passionate. So consuming. So raw. It was everything.
Kumkani: "You will never regret this day beautiful. I will give you the world. Just you watch." He said in this guttural voice that was so sexy against my tingling lips and before I could say anything, he kissed me again. I don't how long our second kiss went on for but it went on for forever. When our lips finally broke apart we were both breathing heavily and harshly. My lips felt so abused in a good way. Damn this man could kiss. Yikes!... "I'm sorry I didn't give you a warning beautiful." I couldn't help the giggle that came out of me. Lendoda! He still remembered what I had said all those months ago last year. He'll be the death of me I tell you.
Me: "A warning?" I raised my eyebrow... "you mean warnings as in plural since you kissed me twice." I said teasing him. And then the king did something I didn't expect, at all. He laughed. Yes people. He laughed. It wasn't one of those loud or booming laughs. No. It was both soft and rough at the same time. Can't explain how but it sounded so manly. The manliest of laughs I've ever heard. The corners of his eyes were in a crease and his mouth was spread wide into a smile with his teeth showing as his whole body shook. I took all of this in as my king continued to laugh. Oh my God! I thought he had looked breathtaking when he smiled. I had been wrong. A laughing King, was astounding to the point where it was unreal...unnatural. How could a person be this handsome? Even with the scars..."you just laughed." I blurted out the obvious like a idiot after his laugh had died down. He said nothing but I loved the way he was looking at me. His eyes were full of tenderness and love. For me. I said for me! We heard you. Geez!
Me: "You should laugh more."
Kumkani: "You also said I should smile more." I had.
Me: "Then you should do both of them more." I sassed. His eyes did that shining thing of theirs.
Kumkani: "I will."
Me: "Promise?" He nodded. I raised my pinkie and this time he did smile as he wrapped his pinkie around mine.
Kumkani: "Promise." I smiled satisfied.
We were now back on the road and my body was buzzing excited and nervous energy. I was scared and was also happy. My heart hadn't settled down ever since I agreed to be the king's wife. I still couldn't believe it though. That I had said yes. That I was now his fiancée and that he was my fiancé. Gosh! This was all so surreal. Me, Khazimle Precious Tetani, was going to get married? A woman who had sworn off men a long time ago was really engaged to get married? Wow! This was crazy! What were my friends going to say? My parents? Oh my God! My parents!
Me: "King what about my parents? What if they don't agree to us-." He squeezed my hand which was on his lap.
Kumkani: "What did I say? Love and trust. And leave the rest to me."
Me: "But-."
Kumkani: "Love and trust beautiful." I released a deep breath.
Me: "Okay." He intertwined our hands... "how is your wound?" I asked him after a while... "are you in any pain?"
Kumkani: "I'm fine beautiful."
Me: "How can you be fine? You were stabbed and stitched up. You even refused to be given any pain meds-."
Kumkani: "That's because I don't need them." I huffed. So stubborn.
Me: "That's just stupid. How can you not need them? No matter how strong you are you're still human-."
Kumkani: "Did you forget about my time on the streets beautiful?"
Me: "No I didn't. But what does that have to do with pain...." I trailed off as I remembered about that time when he told me that he had been addicted to glue. Oh my God! How could I forget that? That's why he refused getting pain medication... "King I'm so sorry. I'm so stupid. How can I forget-."
Kumkani: "It's fine beautiful." I shook my head.
Me: "No it's not fine." I insisted feeling so horrible inside... "I can't believe I forgot. How could I?" And here I was being on his case about refusing pain meds when all he wanted to do was to avoid having a relapse... "I'm so sorry. I'm such a terrible person-."
Kumkani: "No you're not beautiful." He said giving my hand a squeeze. I groaned smacking my forehead. So stupid! ... "little beauty." He reprimanded. I stopped and exhaled.
Me: "How is your addiction now?" I asked carefully after a short while. He kept quiet... "King?" He sighed.
Kumkani: "I don't want to say I'm over it since I still have those days where I just want to take an edge off." Oh.
Me: "Those days are when you're thinking about...the past right?" He gave a stiff nod. I squeezed his hand as my heart constricted in pain. My poor King.
Kumkani: "But I promise you little beauty, I would never do any-."
Me: "I know. I trust you." I told him... "but it must be very hard for you my King." His jaw tightened... "and I hate that. Hate that you're still in pain and are suffering." I told him... "I really do." He didn't say anything. He just brought our hands to his mouth and kissed my hand softly... "we'll both heal my King no matter what. Together." I told him strongly with a new resolve. He looked at me. There was pride and determination in his eyes.
Kumkani: "Yes beautiful. Together."
It was now 5 days later since I had agreed to be the king's wife. He has been taking me to and from school. And after that we would spend a few hours together and then he would go back to his place. I'm guessing he hasn't said anything to my parents yet since my parents haven't said a word to me about anything. I wondered when he was going to tell them. My stomach was in tight knots with nerves. But I told myself, even though it was hard, that I was going to do as he had said which was to love and trust him. My emotions were all over the place though. I had wanted on more than one occasion to tell the king that I couldn't do it. That I couldn't marry him but I thought about how he had been so happy when I had agreed to marry him and also how it had felt right in my soul when I had. So I said none of that to him. To tell you guys the truth, I was happy. Really happy. As happy as I've ever been. And it was that happiness that was making me be scared the most. I felt like the universe would do something to take it away from me since the universe has never wanted me to be happy.
I was in my room doing my assignment. Well, trying to do my assignment. I was thinking about my man. I missed him. Being apart from him was hard. I wanted to be with him 24/7 but out of respect for my parents that wasn't possible. When you're married to him, it will be possible. My subconscious whispered to me. I giggled and squealed softly as I covered my face. I decided to text the king. "I miss you." My phone buzzed after a few seconds and I read his reply. "More than I miss and ache for you?" I giggled and texted "Yes. Way way more." He replied "Not humanly possible beautiful." Lendoda! "I wish I was with you right now. I miss your scent." He replied "How can you say that when you have almost my whole entire wardrobe there with you." I laughed. It was true. Most of his clothes were with me. I even had a separate drawer for them. Every day I demanded him to give me one piece of his clothing. It was crazy. I know. But it was what it was. You're so obsessed. I won't deny and say I wasn't. I texted "But it's not the same as breathing your scent directly from you." He replied "Then give me back my clothes little beauty." I laughed. I texted "You wish! They're mine now." He replied "Yours? They don't even fit you." They didn't. They were big as hell on me. But that's what I loved. Especially his hoodies. I would only be in his hoodies around the house my body drowning in them. And the look that my mother gave me when I was in one of the king's hoodies or any of his clothing was hilarious. I texted "So? Don't care. They're mine as you're also mine." He replied after what felt like an eternity saying "Do you know what's the first thing I'm going to do tomorrow when I come to pick you up beautiful?" I texted "What?" He replied "Kiss you." Oh my gosh! I suddenly felt hot. My stomach fluttered with butterflies. I texted "Kiss me?" He replied "Yes. Don't say I didn't give you a warning. This is it." Gosh! I fanned myself as my heart beat fast. Now I couldn't wait for tomorrow. A knock sounded on the door. I turned on my chair. It was my father. He came in closing the door and sat on the bed.
Father: "He says he wants to make you his wife." My father was never one to sugarcoat things or beat around the bush... "he said he already proposed to you and you said yes." I swallowed nervously and nodded. He exhaled and nodded.
Me: "Does Mom know?" He shook his head.
Father: "No. I haven't told her yet." He rubbed his face... "to tell you the truth Khazie mntanam she's not going to be too happy. She's still wary about Kumkani."
Me: "I know Tata." I told him... "but what about you? How do you feel?" He released a breath.
Father: "I really don't know to be honest. I have mixed feelings." He told me... "I had expected something like this happening eventually and I tried to prepare myself but now that it's here and he's asking for your hand in marriage, I'm conflicted Preshy mntanam."
Me: "Tata I-."
Father: "I know you love him and I know he loves you too. To be honest, he's a good man for you...."
Me: "But?"
Father: "But you're my baby girl. I'm scared. I'm not ready to lose you." My father guys!
Me: "Tata..."
Father: "I know I know you were bound to get married at some stage but I didn't think that day would come by so soon."
Me: "But Tata you won't lose me." I told him... "I'll still be your daughter. I mean, I'll still visit you and Mom." He sighed and said nothing... "Tata?"
Father: "You really sure about this mntanam? About marrying him and being his wife? It's a very big decision to take and I still feel it's still too soon after all that had happened....I...I..." He sighed said my. I kept quiet and hugged myself... "I'm sorry Preshy mntanam-."
Me: "No you're right it's still too soon but what should I do Tata? I love him. So so much. I can't imagine my life without him."
Father: "Preshy-."
Me: "I know I know. It's not a healthy thing to say but it's the truth." I told him... "he keeps me sane Tata. When I'm with him I don't feel broken or damaged. I feel like a normal woman who's in love." I told him... "and when I'm with him I always feel like everything will be okay in the world together with me. And I like that feeling, I really do. And I don't want to lose it. So please let me be his wife Tata. And please convince Mom to let me marry him too. Please." My father nodded as he blinked.
Father: "All I want is for you to be happy Preshy. So if this is what you want, I'll make sure to give it to you." I threw myself into his arms hugging him.
Me: "Thank you thank you Tata. You're the best." He squeezed me and patted my back.
Father: "Anything for my baby girl." I pulled away from him and sat down on the chair again. My father nodded and hit his thighs... "now he says he wants you guys to be married in 5 months."
Me: "5 months!" I exclaimed loudly jumping up from my chair.
Father: "Shhhh. Your mother can't hear yet." He said looking to the door like he was afraid my mother would come rushing in any second. I covered my mouth with my hand.
Me: "5 months?!" I whisper yelled. He must be mistaken people. Right? It couldn't be.
Father: "Yes. Didn't he discuss this with you?"
Me: "No he didn't." My father chuckled. Oh my God! 5 months! The king was crazy bethuna.
Father: "Why am I not surprised by that?" He shook his head.
Me: "But 5 months is waaaay too soon!"
Father: "I know and I told him the same but he said he can't wait longer than that and that if it were up to him, you guys would be already be done at the court getting married. But he understands that he needs to give me and your mom respect and also he wants you to have your dream wedding." Oh my God! The panic I was feeling right now was beyond compare.
Me: "Oh my God! Oh my God!" I paced the floor... "he's crazy! He's so crazy!" I whispered yelled as I threw my hands in the air... "Mom is going to have a fit!" My father chuckled nodding.
Father: "She is. She'll kill us both I'm afraid."
Me: "5 months?!" Still couldn't believe it.
Father: "And that's not the worst part." There was more?
Me: "What's the worst part Tata?" I asked as I held my stomach.
Father: "He wants the lobola negotiations to be held next week.".............