Kabanata 27
My eyelids feel heavy as I force myself to open my eyes. Sumisinag ang araw mula sa bintana ni Etienne, the huge windows despite having dark curtains allowed translucent light into the room.
Pinilit ko ang tumayo ngunit agad akong napayuko. My lips parted as I felt my lower half almost numb. I tried to move it but I flinched so hard that I had to lean towards the bedrest.
Putangina.
"Lavy," Etienne called out, he just came out from the shower. Medyo basa pa ang buhok at bukas ang kan'yang puting polo. He was almost half naked in front of me as he dried his hair using a towel.
Namumula akong nagtago sa kumot. Subalit mas lalo akong nahiya dahil kumpara sa kan'ya ay mas nakahubad pala ako.
"I canceled the dinner," Etienne said, chuckling. "Bakit ka nahihiya? Nakita mo naman na ako kagabi."
"Shut up." I hissed, behind the bedsheets. "Anong s-sabi nila Tita?"
"Tinanong anong ginagawa natin."
"Anong sagot mo?" Sumilip ako kay Etienne dahil curious talaga ako kung ano ang tugon n'ya.
"Ginagawan ka ng apo," he beamed at me. I threw a pillow at him, blushing so hard that I could be mistaken for a tomato.
"Bwisit ka!" I yelled in embarrassment.
"Of course, that wasn't true." He chuckled once again, his shoulders shaking. "Sinabi ko lang na pagod ka dahil umalis tayo. That's it. . ."
Umupo siya sa aking tabi at hinawakan ang aking baba. He lifted my chin to plant a tender kiss on my lips. I don't know if it is because of what happened last night but I felt wobbling at his mere touch. The pain was instantly replaced with titillating pleasure.
"Are you okay?" he asked as his lips parted away from mine. "Kaya mo bang sumama sa akin mamaya? Nagyaya silang kumain sa labas."
"Sinong kasama?" namamaos kong tanong.
"Euan and Snyder."
Dumilim ang ekspresyon ko at nagbago ang timpla. Tarantadong Snyder 'yon! I bit my lip, I can't deny that I enjoyed last night however I was just surprised. I never knew Etienne was capable of doing. . . Wild things.
Sa halos apat na taon naming magkarelasyon, we never went that far. I thought he wasn't interested and I was also cautious because I know that he was traumatized when he was exposed to illicit affairs made by that tutor. Kahit ako ay hindi nasisikmura na nagawa 'yon ng tutor n'ya. She was eaten by her own desire.
And as much as I want to protect her as a fellow woman, it felt wrong to justify a wrong doing — she should be held accountable, the way men should be accountable for all the hidden mistreatments of women in history.
"Take a shower, alright? I'll wait in the kitchen." Hinalikan n'ya ang tuktok ng aking ilong. I watched him go and prepared breakfast before we meet Snyder and Euan.
Napa-buntonghininga naman ako. Muli akong napamura nang mapagtantuan na mukhang kailangan kong gumapang sa sobrang sakit ng gitna ng aking mga hita.
I groaned to myself. Okay lang 'yan, Lavender. Ginusto mo rin. Panindigan mo. Ikaw naman ang paulit-ulit na tumawag sa kan'ya sa pinakanakakahiyang paraan.
Namutla ako at agad na pinagdasal na sana ay hindi 'yon gamitin ni Etienne sa akin. The way I called him last night. . . Oh! What a nightmare! I can't imagine myself in that tone, sa boses na para bang uhaw na uhaw ako sa kan'ya! That would ruin my reputation as a cold woman!
I sighed as I forced myself to stand. Natigalgal ako nang pakiramdam ko ay parang gelatin sa sobrang lambot ang mga binti ko. I held on the bedside table as my legs weakly tried to support my whole frame.
"Lavy, you alright?"
Dinaluhan niya ako sa kwarto. Nakatitig lang sa akin si Etienne nang maabutan akong hindi pa rin nakakaalis sa pwesto. He even looked amused because his eyes lingered on my legs.
"Sorry," he shyly confessed. "Na-excite lang ako kagabi."
His cheeks were burning red. Kitang-kita ko ang paggalaw ng adam's apple n'ya. It was as if he was swallowing his pride by stating that.
"Bakit naman damay ako sa excitement mo?!" I hissed at him upon remembering my situation. "Hindi ko alam kung kailan ako makakalakad nang maayos."
Tinawanan lang n'ya ang reklamo ko. Tumulis ang nguso ko ngunit napawi rin dahil pakiramdam ko ay hindi ito ang magiging huling beses.
Next time. . . Pipigilan ko na rin ang sarili ko. It was seriously too much for the first time. Napalunok ako nang makita ang pamilyar na bakas ng kamay sa kan'yang bintana.
Not me. That's not me. Naaalala ko pa lang ay namumutla na agad ako.
𐂴 ৫ ⧉ꕤ
"Kaya mo ba talaga?" Etienne asked upon watching me from behind. Kitang-kita ang iika-ikang posisyon ko.
I glared at him. "Wala naman akong choice?"
"We can always cancel —"
"And be left with you in that room where my handprint on your window is still visible?" I scowled at him, remembering what I saw on his window.
He chuckled. "Remembrance 'yon. I might even engrave it on my window. I'll put a label on it, Lavender Reverios' handprint."
Agad na tumayo ang gitnang daliri ko para sa kan'ya. "Kita mo ito? Para sa iyo ito. Oh tingnan mo, dalawa pa." I raised both of my middle fingers.
Pumasok na kami sa sasakyan n'ya. I fell asleep on our way to meet our friends. Hindi ko pa rin maalis ang pagod sa sistema ko. I can feel Etienne's hand squeezing my hand whenever the traffic lights are red. He would fix my hair and my position. Hindi n'ya siguro napapansin na nagigising ako sa tuwing ginagawa n'ya 'yon.
But I smiled.
The little things weight more when you do them unconsciously. It tends to show that you care even when no one's watching. You tend to do it because it is part of your system. The person is part of your system.
"Lavy, you have to wake up. We're here," malambing na sabi ni Etienne. He was playing with the tips of my hair by curling it using his fingers.
"Hm? Agad?"
My eyes opened and his beautiful face was the first thing that I saw. I unconsciously smiled and kissed him.
Natigilan naman si Etienne pero agad n'ya rin na binalik ang paghalik ko sa kan'ya. His mouth was devouring my own, hinawakan n'ya ako sa aking mga pisngi. His hands gradually held my face with tenderness.
"Oh," I gasped when he moved back. Nakita ko ang pamumula n'ya.
"Is it okay?"
"Na?"
"My car's not tinted so. . ." namumulang saad ni Etienne. "Fuck, I should have use the other one."
Humalakhak ako. "Malas mo naman."
Bahagyang nagulat kami dahil paglingon namin sa harapan ay nakita namin si Euan at Snyder na nanglalaki ang mga mata.
My lips parted apart.
They saw us kissing. Euan looked aghast while Snyder had an amused expression plastered all over his face. Nakangisi pa siya sa akin. My cheeks burned in heat upon realizing that the reason why it happened last night was because of his doing.
Lumabas kami ng kotse at nakita ko na tinatakpan ni Euan ang mga mata ni Snyder. Nangunot agad ang noo ko.
"Bawal 'yan sa 'yo, virgin ka pa." sabi ni Euan kay Snyder habang pilit na pinapatalikod ito sa aming dalawa ni Etienne.
"Ano ba," winaksi ni Snyder ang kamay ni Euan. "They were just kissing."
"They were kissing torridly! Bawal ka pa sa mga rated 18, di mo pa nagagawa 'yon!" Euan replied.
"I'm already beyond eighteen!" Snyder groaned and frustratingly ran his fingers in his hair. "Kapag nagka-girlfriend talaga ako, sa harap mo kami maghahalikan para tigilan mo na ako!"
"Bet! Live show!" Halakhak ni Euan. Damn, these Soteiros are really something else. Si CL lang yata ang naiiba sa kanila.
"Why did you want us to meet anyway?" Etienne asked. Hinawakan n'ya ako sa kamay upang igiya patungo sa pasukan ng building.
Snyder stared at me with a weird expression. Pinapanood n'ya akong maglakad.
"What happened to her?"
"Nabangga," I lied. "Sa ano, sa table."
"Masakit paa mo?" tanong ni Euan. "Bakit ka iika-ika?"
Snyder laughed. He fucking laughed. Agad na tumalim ang tingin ko sa kan'ya. He bit his finger to suppress his laughter. Umiling-iling lang siya habang nakatingin sa akin. His eyes sparkling. Nagtataas-baba pa siya ng kan'yang kilay. Napansin ko ang slit sa isang kilay n'ya.
I scoffed. Huwag kang tatawa-tawa riyan! Ahitin ko buong kilay mo e.
"Sana all," Snyder whispered, teasingly.
"Ulol ka," bulong ko pabalik.
Nagpabalik-balik ang tingin ni Euan sa aming dalawa. Mukhang tuliro dahil hindi n'ya alam kung ano ang pinaguusapan namin.
"Anong mayroon?" Euan whispered between the both of us. "Bumubulong din ako para ikwento n'yo sa akin."
"Ang tsismoso mo," tuya ko kay Euan at dahan-dahan na tinulak siya palayo sa akin.
"Dali na, ano ba mayroon?" Euan pestered me. Curious na curious talaga sa kung ano ang nangyari.
"Wala."
Euan pouted and went over to Snyder. "Ano mayroon? Kwento mo naman sa akin. . . I wanna know!"
"Wala ako no'ng nangyari e," Snyder gaze at me and he laughed. Bwisit na bwisit na talaga ako sa 'yo, Snyder Esmael!
"Etienne, ikaw ba? Alam mo? Bakit tumatawa si Snyder?" Euan asked Etienne who looked at me and bit his lower lip.
"Nabangga n-nga lang si Lavy. . ." Etienne burst in laughter. Pati tuloy si Snyder ay hindi na mapakali sa sobrang tawa. Nanginginig na ako sa irita!
"Epic ba? Bakit kayo tumatawa. . ." Euan's shoulder slumped as he looked at me, like an abandoned puppy. I only sighed because I couldn't imagine myself telling him what happened.
We had to go to a Soteiro meeting. Once in a while, nagyayaya ang mga Soteiro magkita-kita sa malalaking hotel dito sa Maynila. They would do this because they wanted to know the latest news of their family members. Parang tsismisan lang ng mga mayayaman, kaya naman hindi ko masisisi si Euan kung tsismoso siya. He grew in an environment where knowing something is an advantage.
Etienne held my hand as we went inside. Isa kami sa mga nauna kaya naman wala pang masyadong tao sa long table rito sa buffet area ng hotel. I looked around and admired the European style of the interior. Kinuha ko ang phone ko at kumuha ng litrato kasama si Etienne.
I posted it on my Facebook account and it garnered a lot of reactions. Hindi ko alam kung bakit naka-angry react si Gio sa mga posts ko na kasama si Etienne. Madalas ang comment n'ya ay wala ring kwenta.
Gio San Pedro commented on your post: Alam mo ba kung bakit kita naiisip? Hindi kita iniisip pero isipin mo pakiramdam ko iniisip ko na may iniisip ka na nasa isipan mo ako pero isipin mo rin nasa isipan kita ngunit di natin naiisip ang isa't isa.
Nangunot ang noo ko sa comment n'ya. What the heck?! Kaunti na lang ay baka i-ban ko na ang isang ito sa account ko.
"Love, CR lang ako." paalam ko kay Etienne. Agad naman n'ya akong pinakawalan.
I went to the comfort room taking small steps because of the lingering pain between my legs. I bit my lip when I had to stop in the middle of the hallway because the feeling was foreign to me.
"Are you okay?"
Umangat ang tingin ko sa nagtanong. Agad naman na namilog ang mga mata ko nang mapagtantuan na si CL ito. He was wearing formal attire in contrast to Etienne's casual clothing. Mukhang isa siya sa mga host para sa mga Soteiro.
This was the first time that he approached me again. Madalas ay halata namang iniiwasan n'ya na magkasalubong kami kahit nasa iisang party kami. I didn't mind that, maybe he just respected the idea that Etienne didn't like him.
"Yeah," sagot ko sa kan'ya. "Medyo nahihilo lang." palusot ko pa.
"If that's the case, may emergency room yata sa ground floor. You can ask for assistance if you want to take some meds for your dizziness," CL said. Napalingon siyang muli sa akin at tiningnan ang nanghihinang mga tuhod ko.
"Are your legs shaking?"
I should have let myself take a good rest instead of forcing myself to come to this party. It was probably because it was my first time, kaya naman ganito ang reaksyon ng katawan ko.
I sighed. "CL, I'm okay. Really. Thank you for the concern. Kailangan ko lang mag-comfort room din dahil naiihi ako."
I tried to mask it with that reason. Agad namang nagparte ang kaniyang labi. He gradually nodded and gave way for me. Paalis na sana ako nang harangin kami ng mga nakakatandang Soteiro.
"Oh my god," a man exclaimed. "Caer! You brought your girlfriend with you!"
Nanigas ako sa aking kinatatayuan. I am not familiar with all of the guests but this man makes me feel that he's one of those who likes to gossip as their tea time. Kitang-kita sa kan'yang mga mata ang ningning.
"Ipagkakalat ko ito! Ipagkakalat ko ito! I can't believe that you brought her without telling us! Is this your surprise?! Kaya ka ba naging host dahil dala-dala mo na ang girlfriend mo? Was she your childhood first love?" sunod-sunod na tanong ng matandang lalaki.
CL wasn't able to speak. He was about to refute but the man giggled like a witch. Hinampas pa siya sa kan'yang braso habang pinasadahan ako ng tingin.
"She's very pretty! Bagay na bagay kayo," the old man claimed.
Agad naman akong umiling. Etienne and I are lowkey but I'm sure that most of the people here know about the both of us. Maliban sa lalaking ito na hindi ko alam kung saan n'ya pinupulot ang kaniyang mga sinasabi.
"I already posted it on my blog!" the man said. "Don't worry! I'll make sure na kayo ang power couple ng taon na ito."
"Tito Cruz!" saway ni CL. "Please, take the post down. Hindi po kami ni Solstice."
"Oh?" Cruz looked at me. "Wala na e. Napagkalat ko na. What could possibly go wrong? My subscribers would ship the both of you together. And besides, I'm doing you a huge favor, CL."
"Sino nga ito?" naiinis na tanong ko kay CL.
CL sighed and whispered to me. "A columnist and a blogger for the Soteiros and the other rich clans. Madalas ay gumagawa siya ng kwento upang maging maingay ang pangalan ng mga mayayaman. The rich both hate and love him for his job."
"Well?! We can't let him create malicious rumors about us!"
"I'll talk to him, okay? Calm down, Solstice. Makakausap naman siya."
"Hey," I called him out. "We're not together. Tigilan mo ang mga pinagsasabi mo sa column mo."
"Oh darling, you will be dating! Walang hindi nagiging totoo sa mga pinagsasabi ko!" Cruz laughed while still typing on his phone.
Nangingitngit na ako sa galit. I wanted to grab his phone away but I couldn't cause a scene. Nandito ang mga Soteiro at ayoko naman na. . . Gosh! I can't even make a proper move!
My jaw clenched as I looked at him in disbelief. Wala siyang pakialam sa opinyon namin. He continued typing on his phone. Nginitian n'ya lang kami. My stomach churned because just after the moment he clicked on his phone. . .
Etienne came out from the room and looked at the both of us. And once again—it felt like we're going in circles, I saw betrayal in his eyes. The same intense emotion I felt from him when I refused to acknowledge his truth.
"So," Etienne walked towards us. His face darkened and a twisted grin on his lips formed. "Siya pa rin pala talaga. . ."
❛ ━━━━━━･❪♀❫ ･━━━━━━ ❜