I would love to say that I had been cool and unruffled in the face of this possibly life-threatening and highly dangerous situation, but that would, unfortunately, be a lie.
In other words, I panicked.
The footsteps were only minutes away from reaching this room but I spent two of those precious minutes panicking and internally screaming and imploding like I was a dying star and not a to-be-dead human. Because dead was what I was going to be when he found me here.
I stumbled into his room and looked desperately for a place to hide. Where did all my meticulous planning go? Probably out the window like I was supposed to. I looked around and caught sight of a towering pile of dirty laundry. Ugh. I was going to regret this.
The door slammed open and I caught the word 'Weasley' and a lot of muttering about being immature. My heart thudded in my chest. If this worked and I escaped from this place unscathed, I would be eternally grateful to the prank gods. I would also eternally lose any sense of smell I possessed previous to this encounter because my hiding place really stank, and I mean that with all the literal sense the world possesses.
I could hear his stamping and grumbling and then something thudded above me. My heart skipped a beat. Then the Devon-smell I encountered in the bathroom and the horrible stench of sweat flooded my nostrils. More dirty clothes?! He'd barely been here a week! Ugh. The bathroom door closed and the sound of running water met my ears. I waited a few seconds before jumping up, freeing myself from my smelly prison. I mean hiding place. I gratefully gulped the fresh air, reveling in my freedom for a few seconds before realizing that I wasn't free. Not yet.
I grabbed my duffel and yanked it open, my fingers searching for the rough texture of rope until I finally found it. I yanked the whole thing out and unwrapped it, glad that I'd listened to May and done this instead of simply stuffing it inside like I usually would and tangling it. I hooked the ends to the edge of the window and checked if the knot, which would loosen the whole structure from the window if I tugged it, was in place. Satisfied that I wouldn't fall to my death, I closed the bag and swung one leg over the window sill. Then, he screamed.
My head snapped back so fast, I pulled my neck. Wincing I put my fingers up to rub the spot when the bathroom door opened. Dressed in nothing but a towel and dripping soap suds in his wake, stood Mr. Moron. Fuchsia-pink hair, fake-suntanned skin and all. He screamed like a wounded rhino and whipped his wet, frosted pink head around before catching me silhouetted against his window. For a few seconds we looked at each other.
"Nice hair"
And then I climbed down as fast as I could.
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"You should've seen his face!" I wheezed and May laughed evilly along with me. The moment I got home I locked all my doors and windows and then proceeded to skype May, giving her the rich, luscious details. "Wait, can you hear that?" I giggled. May shook her head and listened. There was some frantic shouting and a lot of 'No's from what I could hear. And it was coming from outside my window. Gesturing at her to be quiet, I opened my shutter just a tiny bit to see Mr. Moron pacing across his window, directly across from mine, an angry expression on his face. I jumped back as he swore, and then realized he was on the phone. I tip-toed back to my computer where May's brown eyes were wide with mirth and held up a finger to silence her before carefully lifting my laptop and bringing it to the window.
"No, Cynthia, you cannot come over. Why? I have an emergency is why!" there was a pause as he listened to what was most probably Cynthia's sopping simpering "No you can't come over and help, it's not that kind of situation!"
"Gwen!" I looked down at my laptop which held, er,May
"Yeah?"
"Can you open the curtains a bit? I want to see him!" I grinned and pulled open the shutter till where my laptop's camera was. May's eyes widened and she looked at him critically.
"He's cute" was the first thing she said and I threw my hands up.
"Whaaat...he is" she said, a little defensively
"Mayella Parks"
"Gwenwyn Lou-Ann Taylor" she said, mimicking my tone. We sniggered and then went back to looking at Mr. Moron. He was making rude gestures at his phone and then rolled his eyes
"Mhm...yeah...yeah...yea-" His last 'yeah' was cut off as he turned and looked outside his window. With a jolt I realized he had a perfect view of May and I
"Gwen..." May said nervously as he growled a 'Bye' into the phone and shoved it in the pocket of his sweatpants. I pulled the laptop behind me, hiding May out of view as I waved. "Gwen...I don't think that's a good idea" she whimpered from the screen. Angry red splotches were appearing on Mr. Moron's face as he looked at me. Maybe she was right...although...
"The color of your face clashes with your hair dear, and you've done such a good job on it...we don't want to ruin it do w-"
"SHUT" he chucked a lava lamp at me. I ducked and it crashed into the wall instead of my face "UP!" he finished, flinging a pair of smelly boxers in my face. This time it hit its target.
"Ewww...Mr. Moron! These stink!" I squealed pulling his underpants off me and shuddering. I'd been in his dirty clothes one too many times today. The comment didn't even give him satisfaction and his chest heaved as he searched wildly for something else to throw at me. His eyes widened triumphantly as he picked up a soccer ball. I yelped and slammed my window shut before he rendered my face unusable. I heard a thump second after I pulled it down and sagged on the window, relieved that I had all my body parts intact. I peeked out from my hiding place and his window was empty. I was going to be murdered in my sleep.
"Gwen that was not a good idea" May chastised
"Easy for you to say...you're miles away from this situation" I grumbled and then wrinkled my nose in disgust as I picked his smelly underwear from the ground. What made this smell so bad...?
Actually, don't answer that.
I sighed and shoved it into the bottom drawer of my cupboard, where all other useless things were. I wasn't going to go give it back to him. No way.
The lava lamp was intact, surprisingly, and I grinned as I plugged it in, jumping like a child when the colored blobs sluggishly moved up and down, bathed in light. May snorted behind me. I turned away from my new present and grinned at her. She rolled her eyes at my childishness and then we proceeded to talk till it was time for me to wake up and it was time for her to sleep.
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I finally fell asleep at around five am, after talking to May and finishing Mr. Moron's book and now Mum was bumping around my room, probably attempting to cleanse it of my Gwen-ness. Mrs. Sensitivity much? I pulled the covers over my head and groaned. "Mum...stop" The noise stopped and through my sleep-fogged mind, I dimly registered surprise that she'd listened to me for once. "Mmkay...thanks" I mumbled, turning around to go back to my beauty sleep. A girl needed her rest yo (Mum wasn't a girl - she woke up too early to be one. *whispers* Hulk.). The warm darkness enclosed me once more and I smiled, wanting to enjoy this before she pulled the covers off of me as usual.
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I was flying.
I've always wanted to fly, I thought to myself as I put my arms out, like in Peter Pan. And suddenly, he was there - devilish eyes, ginger hair, pointed ears...I sighed happily as he grinned at me and pointed to the sky. I followed the direction of his finger and my eyes widened. The second star to the right...and straight on till morning. I did a loop-de-loop in midair and turned and hugged him. I was going to Neverland!
"Oh Peter..." I said. I drew back and looked at him, smiling, until I saw what was looking back at me. I screamed. It wasn't Peter anymore. It was Devon Whitfield.
My eyes flew wide open and I bolted upright, cracking my head on the headboard in the process."Oww..." I moaned rubbing my head. Goddammit, Mr. Moron! I glared at my shuttered window and slowly got out of bed. Ugh. What time is it? My eyes bulged slightly as I looked at the glowing numbers on the alarm clock. 10:45 AM.
I had never woken up before noon.
I ground my teeth and stomped to the bathroom. This was all Mr. Moron's fault. He'd ruined everything - my sleep, my time with Peter, and (this stung the most) my trip to Neverland. Ugh. He was so annoying.
"Well don't you look cheerful today?" said Dad, barely looking up from his crossword puzzle. I harrumphed and grumbled my way into the seat next to him. Mum took one look at me and slid across a mug of coffee. I grunted a 'Thanks' and set to work restoring my energy.
"So you're up early..." said Celia walking in. I glared at her and went back to inhaling my coffee. She scrunched her nose up in disgust and pulled a plate of toast towards her, deliberately eating it with slow, delicate bites. I stuck my tongue out at her and shoved a piece of toast in my mouth just to make my point.
"Gwen!" she reprimanded
"Bu' ish tafty" I said
"Don't eat with your mouth open!" I smirked and then opened my mouth wide, knowing she'd hate it.
"Eww! Gwen! Mother! Tell Gwen to behave!" she whined and I rolled my eyes, getting up to put my plate and mug in the sink.
I took the stairs two at a time thinking that, well, I was up anyways, might as well shower. My mood brightened considerably when I saw that my 'Books Are Better Than Boys and Boys Are Better In Books' T-shirt was out of the wash and I grabbed it, grinning. Alrighty then. Good day ahead.
I couldn't have been more wrong.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!"
I screamed, and bolted away from the shower, nearly slipping in my need to get away as quickly I possibly could. The red was pooling in the drain and I hurried forward, taking care not to slip this time, and shut it the tap off. Mum knocked on the bathroom door.
"Gwen?" She said, sounding worried.
"MUM! HELP ME!" My voice was three octaves higher than it usually was and my eyes were probably wild. "What?"
"THERE'S BLOOD IN THE SHOWER!" I was nearly crying out of fear now.
"What?"
"I'M GOING TO BE MURDERED! MUM!" I shrieked. There were too many things I hadn't done yet. No. This couldn't be the end. But all the horror movies said so. The moment there was blood pouring from the shower, like it had with mine, the shower-ee would die. A horrible. Miserable. Paranormal. Death.
"Open the door, Gwen, let's see what this is all about" Mum said sighing, interrupting my fear-coated reverie.
I was only too glad to comply. I hopped out, staining the bath-rug red in the process and wrapped a towel around myself.
"Gwen!" she said when I opened the door, her eyes wide.I was probably coated in blood. Not that that it mattered. I was going to die anyway.Mum looked at me critically and then wiped some of the blood off with her finger. She looked at it critically, then at me, and then back again. Then she burst out laughing.
"I'M GOING TO DIE AND YOU'RE LAUGHING?!" I burst out angrily. Priorities. She had none. Whatsoever.
"Mum!" I said exasperatedly. She sat down on my bad and rocked backwards and forwards, tears running down her cheeks. "Well, okay then, if that's the way you want it to be" I said, slightly miffed that she didn't even care that I was going to die. Wow. Some mother she was. She giggled at the look at my face and then took a deep breath. I waited, expectantly, but one look at my face and she burst out laughing again. "Take your time. Why not? It's not like you have as little as I do" I said coldly. She calmed herself and then looked at me, eyes still wet from her tears of laughter.
"You're not going to die, Gwen"
"Of course I am! There was blood! From my shower!"
"It wasn't blood"
"Of course it was!"
"Really?" she said and held up her finger. I looked at it doubtfully and then stepped forward.
"Smell it" I smelt it
"What am I supposed to be smelling?"
"Exactly"
"Huh?" I asked, confused. She rolled her eyes. "For someone who's supposed to be smart, you're being incredibly stupid at the moment, sweetheart" when I still looked clueless, she sighed "You can smell blood. This is just red food coloring"
"What?"
"I suspect it had something to do with a certain pink-haired boy." She said, grinning at me. I looked at her blankly and then it clicked.
"DEVON WHITFIELD!" I roared, turning around and stalking out of my room
"Gwen!"
"I'M GOING TO KILL HIM...GIVING ME A HEART ATTACK LIKE THAT...OF ALL THE NERVE-"
"Gwen! You're not going to kill anyone and here's an idea: how about some clothes first?" I looked down at myself. Right. Towel. My bad.
"I'm going to go finish my shower" I grumbled, slamming the door behind me. As I finished and wiped myself off, pulling the tee on, my eyes were drawn to the little blue Post-It note on the back of my bathroom.
'Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
Weasley pranked me,
So it's Supernatural in her loo.
xxx
Dev'
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A/N: Guess who's back after a break? *grins* I'm a particular fan of this bloody shower prank...I think I saw it a bunch of times on youtube? Feel free to suggest any pranks that you think will be good enough for this book - I need quite a lot. Fun fact: Gwen is scared shitless by Horror Movies. Yes, she's a bit of a wimp *sniggers* I've planned out most of this book and hopefully I stick with it. This is really fun to write and I hope I don't Mary-Sue her like I did with my fanfiction *shudders* Also, if it starts getting all cliche TELL ME PLEASE. Well it will be, sorta, because there's not much you can do with a classic story like this, but hopefully Gwen stays true to her character throughout. Vote, comment and if you haven't followed yet - what are you waiting for? Lots of love,
xxx
Sage