Who the hell thought making m...

Oleh Shining_N1ght_Sky

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ORIGINALLY IZZYMRDB When I got reborn, I was out of fucks to give. Puberty? Boyfriends before college? Passin... Lebih Banyak

ACT ONE-Life Before and After Death
Act One-I hate babysitters with a passion
Act One- My first birthday
Act One- My Second Birthday
ACT TWO- The Lightning Thief
Act Two- I kill my demon pre-algebra teacher
Act Two- Honestly, screw school and bless the Fates.
A/N
Act Two- Maybe I shouldn't have ditched Grover
Act Two- Bullfighting is Way Harder Than You See On TV
Act Two- Mr D can keep his AA chip.
Act Two-I realized I sound like a conspiracy theorist and had a meltdown.
Act Two-Here's to funky apples and drugging people; I'm not a weirdo, I swear!
Act Two-Camp days are, um, interesting days.
Act Two- I despise Capture the Flag
Act Two- Fragile glass and brittle clay.
Act Two- Interlude/Omakes: Luke and Poseidon.
Act Two- 'Killer Quest', 'Lost!' and 'Drive' are now stuck in my head.
Act Two- Medusa is NOT like Tumblr reimagined her.
Act Two- Interlude/Omake: Luke
Act Two- Into the Darkness, into the Brightness.
Act Two- 'AAAAAAAH' is my internal monologue for today.
Act Two- The Mississippi is a remarkably good place for a breakdown.
Act Two-Ares the little boy, sucks.
Act Two-Interlude/Omake: Ares and Luke
Act Two- Sweet Dreams
Act Two- Las Vegas is NOT at all as fun as the Movies.
Act Two- Crusty reminds me of Beetlejuice, actually
Act Two- Charon, That One Ferryman, scares surprisingly easy
Act Two- Hades yells at us
Act Two- Time to mess shit up even more, apparently.
Act Two-I'm always going to call the Master Bolt the Zeusy zappy zapper.
Act Two- I am an accessory to murder
Act Two- The Last Day of Summer; Reprise
Act Two- The end is just the beginning
ACT THREE-For Fuck's Sake, I ain't drowning in no Sea of Monsters!
Act Three- I annoy everyone even when I'm sleeping

Act One- Vacay!

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Oleh Shining_N1ght_Sky

Disclaimer: The world of Percy Jackson, its characters and settings are the copyrighted works of Rick Riordan and his publishing companies and affiliates. No profit was made from the writing of this story nor was any malice intended in any way, shape or form to the author or the actors/actresses who so brilliantly have brought them to life.This author is not responsible for underage readers. Please observe the ratings, warnings, and age of legal consent for your country.


I never thought I'd go on a cruise ship.

Mãe was having a tough time at work, juggling a too-smart toddler and three jobs alongside night school. One night when I was up when I shouldn't be, I could feel the sea and hear a man's voice coming from Mãe's room- I was too nervous to go see my Pai, but the next morning Mãe was holding a pair of cruise tickets and telling me that we're going to visit family in Brasil for a while.

It doesn't take a fucking genius to figure out what happened.

So here we are, boarding a cruise ship to São Paulo, going to meet family.

I'm so fucking pumped!

Four years old and going to my home country, wack. I never thought I'd go back after my Vovó died in my last life, my parents didn't have any reason to go back again and I never lived long enough to go visit once I was independent. This is surreal to me. Especially with the fact that this is technically my 'first time' seeing Brasil.

I wonder if people are still going to think I sound Carioca? That'll be hard to explain.

Mãe hitched me higher on her hip, pulling the suitcase behind her.

"-Don't go running off by yourself, don't jump off the boat, don't talk to the dolphins-"

Mãe has been giving me a list of 'Don'ts' for the trip, and I've got no shame to say that I haven't been paying attention. Hey, a toddler may need to know this, but I'm an adult- I know what I'm doing!

-

I don't know what I'm doing.

I found an onboard aquarium, got lost in it, and now I'm just chatting up a Tiger Shark.

"-So I was sitting there, BBQ sauce on my tiddies, and-"

"Ophelia!" Mãe yelled, running over to scoop me up. "I've been looking for you everywhere! How did you escape the daycare workers?"

I gave her the most innocent look I could muster, and said sweetly, "I made a friend!"

Mãe looked between me and the shark.

"New rule: no talking to sharks." She narrowed her eyes on the shark. "And you, don't talk to my daughter."

Is she really telling the shark off? Joe didn't do anything, I annoyed him and refused to let him leave is a more accurate description of our friendship.

"Mãe, can I not go back to daycare?" I drew her attention, "A boy tried to cortar my cabello!" (cut, hair)

Mãe sighed. "I'll ask if they can split you up. But Mamãe needs time to herself, tabom?" (okay?)

I nodded.

Hopefully there will be less snot-nosed babies in my future.

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