Penelope.
Dave was ecstatic to see me once I walked through the doors. There was still a layer of snow covering everything outside, and my car hadn't even properly heated up in the time it took me to drive from Harry's place to my own house.
I'd had a bit of trouble driving up our slightly slanted driveway, my car continuously sliding down again. I had to make it a point to get some road salt so we were prepared for when it snowed again.
The warmth of my house felt cosy and made me feel happy immediately when I walked in, and even more so when Dave pushed a cup of hot coffee in my hands. I warmed my palms on the mug and joined my two roommates on the couch, seeing Liam here as well.
It was Saturday morning and I had made it a point to get home before noon, so I could make it up to Dave that I had spent the night before at Harry's.
We had slept in after a tiring and eventful evening, for multiple reasons. I had woken up a little before him so I could make some coffee in the kitchen, which Harry was less than pleased about. He looked grumpy and tired as he joined me in the kitchen, but he woke up rather quickly when I asked him if he wanted something for breakfast.
I hardly had time to register what he was up to as he hoisted me up on the kitchen counter, forced me to lay down on my back and then swung my legs over his shoulders. My underwear was quickly yanked off of my thighs before I felt his tongue on me.
Staring up at the ceiling of his kitchen, my fingers found his hair as he ate me out first thing in the morning. He harshly held my squirming hips down as I let out a raspy moans and whimpers from being sensitive so early in the day, as well as being sensitive from our fucking the night before.
His tongue was warm and wet as it dipped between my folds, licking up my arousal and circling my clit before he rolled his tongue over the nerves and sucked them between his lips. He got me dizzy in no time, letting his tongue and lips do all the magic. I loved it when he ate me out. Nothing really topped the feeling of having his tongue fucking me and it made me shudder just thinking about it.
He didn't let me cum though, earning him a glare when he suddenly pulled back before I reached my peak. He had a lazy smirk on his lips by then and I understood his intentions when he pushed his boxers down to free his hard length. Our mouths met in a messy kiss as I straightened up on the counter, locking my legs around him as he easily pushed inside of me.
Katie had been right, fucking on the counter was exceptional.
I had quickly gone to lean back on my palms to give Harry more space, holding onto my hips as he rolled his hips into me. The slapping of skin on skin sounded erotic in the room, yet I still felt like he kept it gentle. He fulfilled his promise of the evening before once more, fucking me slow and deep. So fucking deep. I could feel him everywhere.
It took me by surprise when he spat down on my clit and his thumb rubbed furious circles on it, helping me along. My eyes had glazed over when he tangled his other hand in my hair, helping me to sit upright and hold my face in front of his. He wanted to see me as I came, that much was clear. My thighs trembled as they were locked around his waist, and his thrusts turned sloppy and uneven as he was trying to keep his orgasm down for dear life, wanting me to cum first.
I did about four thrusts later, and the pulsating of my muscles around him, triggered Harry to release inside of me. He was crying out in sensitivity, roughly slamming forward as I held onto his shoulders and coaxed him through another massive orgasm. My back had scratch marks all over it but I couldn't care less.
And just like that, the bad memory of having a panic attack in the kitchen the night before, was replaced with an incredible, insanely hot, new memory. Of him fucking me on the counter.
He was definitely awake after that.
I had to stop him from going down on me again while I was still catching my breath. The view of his release leaking out of me always turned him on so much and he just couldn't wait to lick it back up, but I was definitely too sensitive and overstimulated for that. He had pouted at my choice but helped me clean up either way, pulling my knickers back up my legs to cover me up.
We had some coffee after that, while Harry continuously shot me salacious and lustful looks from across the kitchen. I basically had to bolt out of his apartment or he'd keep me in bed all day, and my body was tired enough as it was. After getting dressed and freshened up at his place, we shared a long embrace and kiss at the front door.
Everything sexual was out the window then when Harry muttered against my lips how sorry he still was for the night before, thanking me multiple times for taking such good care of him. I had reassured him again that it was fine, that it didn't matter. I had cupped his cheeks to firmly and softly kiss his inviting lips.
I hated it more and more each time I had to leave him.
Katie and Liam looked loved-up on the couch, and even though Dave sent him the occasional glare when they were a bit too public with their affection, he kept his mouth shut for the most part.
"Okay, so there's a Christmas tree sale near the park." Dave clapped his hands as he got up to his feet, seemingly very ready and excited to go.
I raised my brows, "We're not going with your car, are we?"
"Think we're going to fit a Christmas tree in any other car than my jeep?"
"Dave, it's insanely cold outside. Have you even tried starting your car? It's even older than mine! Temperatures like these aren't doing your engine any good." I argued.
A shudder ran over his spine, "Yeah, it was so cold tonight, jesus... Suppose it's nice being able to sleep with someone for warmth." He sighed out.
I smirked slightly, shrugging my shoulders, "Can't say I was cold." I remembered my face being pressed snugly into Harry's warm chest during the night, encaged in the safety of his muscular arms.
Dave tilted his head to the side, "You're so much more chipper now that you're getting good dick on the daily. This Model Man is really doing it for you, huh?"
I rolled my eyes, "Alright, let's go."
"No, no, I'm jealous! You have that... sex-glow. Is he bi? Could I borrow him for a night?"
Liam's sputtering caused his coffee to spray everywhere as he snorted a laugh through his nose. I blushed a furious tint of red but also couldn't hide the amused smile on my lips.
If only Dave knew.
"What?" He asked in confusion, "Am I missing something?"
I shook my head as I curled my lips inside of my mouth to stop my laughter, "Inside joke." I shortly explained before clearing my throat, "Come on, let's go!"
"You two can go get the tree, Liam and I will make soup and a hot lunch for when you return." Katie suggested and I broke out in a grin. This weather called for hot soup indeed and we all agreed on the plan as Dave and I made our ways outside.
His jeep protested greatly when he turned it on, and it took him multiple tries to get the engine running. It was sputtery and didn't sound all that healthy, but it worked after a while and I climbed into the passenger seat to start the drive. Hardly any people were on the road on a weekend where it had snowed, so the roads were deserted.
We drove slow to make sure we were careful, not slipping on any of the ice.
"We still have ornaments, right?" I asked in the car, having to shout to be heard over the noise of the loud engine.
Dave shifted to third gear and nodded, "Yeah. Louis gave us those sex-ornaments last year, remember?"
"We're putting those up?" I scrunched up my nose and Dave laughed, "I like them. We could mix them with regular ornaments. We've still got red ones in the attic, I believe."
"What about lights?"
"Got plenty of lights, honey." Dave reassured me, "We're not short on anything, all we need is a tree."
"Okay." I smiled, pointing to an empty parking spot, "Pull over here maybe, we can walk the rest. Seems quite crowded."
Dave nodded and tugged his steering wheel, struggling a little to park on the slippery roads, but we eventually managed.
It had started snowing again as we walked to the Christmas tree dealership, and Dave and I walked around the many trees to pick one out.
"You know Katie would want a sad looking one." I say, "She always wants the trees no one else buys. Wants to give them a home."
He rolled his eyes, "Well, she's not here. I'm not putting a fucking bald tree in my living room, Penny."
I snorted through my nose as he walked past the older, thinner trees and I trailed behind him. He eventually circled around one particular tree a couple of times, taking it very seriously, "How about this one?"
I was a little uninterested by now, sighing out, "Yeah, looks just as good as the seven other ones you asked me about."
"Picking a Christmas tree is important business." Dave defended himself, inspecting the tree closely, "This one's good, I think. It's got a good colour."
"How is the green different from the others?" I asked with a cocked up eyebrow and Dave rolled his eyes, "Wouldn't expect you to have a good eye for that. Don't worry, you'll learn."
"No, thanks." I murmured, alerting the salesman who walked over to us. Dave continued asking him questions about the origin of the tree and the specifics of it while I rolled my eyes and shot the salesman and apologetic, sheepish look.
Dave could hardly shut up about the needles of this specific tree, as if I was supposed to notice something special about them. The salesman had put the tree in a net for transport and we walked with it back to Dave's car, hauling it over our shoulders. He had his back to me as he rambled on and I pretended to listen.
It was quite the challenge to get the tree in the car, part of it sticking out the window and the trunk didn't fully close, but the ride was short and the traffic was non-existent, so it shouldn't bother anyone.
"Slow, slow, slow!" I exclaimed as I felt his back wheels slipping a little, "Don't break!"
Dave let go of all pedals and the steering wheel, making us slide over the road a little and occupy both lanes, but it wasn't a big deal since no one was around. The best thing to do when slipping on ice was to not control your car. Ideally, you'd just let it slip because breaking, shifting or pulling the wheel would make it worse.
Unfortunately, it was such an instinct to try and keep it going straight that it was against every single bit of our nature to just let it flow. Dave wasn't that logical or instinctive of a person, thankfully.
We made it home eventually without scraps, and he decided on parking on the street since there was now way his jeep would stay on the driveway without sliding off due to the ice and snow.
When parked, Dave let out a heavy breath. I raised my brows as I unbuckled my seatbelt, "Everything okay?"
"Yeah." He shrugged, but made no attempts to actually get out of the car.
I turned my body so I could see him better, tilting my head to the side, "Spill it."
"The holidays are just such a lonely time if you're single." He burst out without much nagging. I stifled my chuckle as I looked at him, "Dave... come on. You've been single for the holidays for years now, do you really mind that much?"
"I do." He claimed, "it's frustrating to be surrounded by couples. Katie and Liam have basically turned into one person," he scolded very dramatically and I rolled my eyes but let him continue, "and you have Model Man. And you're happy and I'm happy for you, but..."
"...but you feel left out?" I finished for him.
He let out a sigh, "A little."
We fell in silence as I gently squeezed his arm. I knew it was mostly a phase for him, he got in moods like this from time to time and then the next day he was happy as a clam to not be in a committed relationship. Dave had never been a very good boyfriend. He always fell very, very quickly and overwhelmed them with the love he had.
Either it freaked them out, or it wasn't reciprocated. On the other hand, when it ended, he was never really heartbroken. Basically, Dave had crushes on anything that had legs, but then he moved on just as quickly. The feelings never really got deeper, or they never turned into a companionship type of love. It stayed superficial, usually sexual, and short-lived.
"Hey, by the way, we're driving down to Brighton on Christmas eve, yeah?"
I bit down on my lip, giving him a look and it took him about four seconds to figure out what it meant, "What?!"
"I'm sorry." I sighed, shaking my head, "I'm, um – celebrating Christmas eve with Model Man."
"Are you kidding me?! You're choosing him over me?" Dave yelled. I frowned deeply, "Wh- Excuse me?"
"It's our tradition!" He continued, his eyes wide and in clear disbelief. I pressed my lips together, "Dave, I'm sorry. He asked me and I accepted."
He shook his head, "I can't fuckin believe this..." he muttered, "You're always blowing me off for him!"
"Dave!" I shouted in a shock, "I'm not! I-I'm splitting my time! It's a compromise! I know you're used to me being around always, even when I was with Patrick. But that was because he never wanted to spend time with me so I was always home!"
He tightly shut his mouth and I could tell he was about to say something he'd regret, so he stopped himself. He slammed his hand down on the steering wheel, making me jump up in surprise.
It was silent in the car for a moment as I let him calm down. I then licked my lips, "Dave, I know you miss me. I try to spend as much time with you as I possibly can. But I'm actually dating someone who likes me, and we're not doing anything out of the ordinary. I'm not seeing him more than Katie is seeing Liam. You can't compare it to Patrick, because... I don't even want to get into that, but he didn't treat me like a girlfriend. H – Model Man does." I quickly fixed my slip-up and Dave didn't seem to notice anything.
He still refused to look at me, sulking stubbornly behind the wheel of his freezing cold car with a Christmas tree behind us.
"We still talk every day." I murmured, "and that will never change. We still see each other most days, and I don't want that to change. You're my best friend, Dave. You always will be, I love you more than anyone ever." I sniffed once, wondering when it suddenly turned emotional. He let out a breath and then finally turned his head to see me, "Love you too, P."
I smiled and leaned over the console to hug him. He hummed against my hair, squeezing my back, "Hey, does that mean Model Man is celebrating Christmas with you?"
Oh no.
My face dropped at the realization, while Dave's smirk grew at that very same realization, "Guess who called my mum yesterday? To invite us for Christmas? Like every year?"
"My dad." I whispered and he nodded with a wide grin, "Your dad. So basically... if you want to or not, I'm gonna meet the guy before the month is over!" He pumped his fists in the air while I let out a sigh and closed my eyes, "No, no, no..."
Of course my dad and Nicole invited all of Brighton for our festivities. I fully forgot that Dave and his family always showed up on Christmas, even just for an hour to say hello to everyone. I usually loved it, spending the day with Dave in my childhood home.
Just the thought that him and Harry would be in the same room with me made me nauseous. There was no running from it anymore though. I didn't want to uninvite Harry, and I didn't want to deny Dave the entrance to our home.
Dave was still arrogantly smug about the prospect of meeting my mystery guy after all this time that he had been nagging me about it.
"So, spending Christmas eve with him? Where does he live?" He asked as he finally started getting out of the car.
I scratched the back of my neck, "Birmingham." I lied in a murmur. Dave hummed as he opened the trunk and I assisted him in carrying the tree out of it, "So, celebrating the holidays together... that's quite official, no? Are you in a relationship then?"
"No." I grumbled, "you know how low-key the Christmases are in Brighton, it's not that big of a deal."
I saw Dave's lips twitch up in the smallest of smiles at my words, "Not a big deal, huh? Interesting..."
I frowned but ignored him, less than happy about what had just unfolded. I had to tell Harry so we could figure out a solution together. Maybe it was time to come clean to everyone finally? But I liked it so much in our bubble. We were good now, solid. Other people could fuck all of that up for us.
Was it really that fragile that something like that could break us? I wasn't sure, but I knew I didn't want to find out. Basically, I didn't want anything to change right now. Life was good. Perfect even. Apart from running into Patrick, things had been insanely great. Work was hard but good, I had a lot of sex, I had a man who liked me a lot and made me laugh and orgasm all in the course of minutes. I felt safe, comfortable, I had a group of good friends, a house, I had savings.
Now my stomach was in knots again just at the idea that Dave was going to find out. One way or the other. It was inevitable. Harry was becoming too big a part of my life to keep him hidden forever. I wanted to bring him to gatherings like that, and it would happen more than often that one or more of my friends would be there too.
He could hardly shut up about it when he entered the house, immediately breaking the news to Liam and Katie who tried to join in with his enthusiasm but shot me strange looks at the same time. That I ignored.
I cut the mesh from around the tree, letting the branches fall wide and see it in its full glory again. I tried to ignore Dave as he was smug and excited about our Christmas plans while Liam tried to join in but it didn't sound all that genuine.
Katie came to stand next to me, shoulder to shoulder as she helped me pull the mesh of the tree.
"Are you okay?" She silently whispered.
I shrugged, "I have to call Harry."
"Okay. Let's go up to the attic together. I'll get the ornaments and you can call him from your room." She suggested and I nodded, following her up the stairs as she told the boys we were getting the decorations.
Katie went up the narrow ladder to the attic by herself while I went into my bedroom, dialling Harry's number.
"Penelope?" He sounded slightly worried immediately when he picked up after about two rings. The sound of his voice made me smile immediately though, "Hi."
"Is everything okay?"
"Mhm. It's fine. Sorry, nothing bad is going on or anything, I know we just saw each other a few hours ago. But, um... I had a talk with Dave."
Harry paused for a second, "...okay?"
I sighed and nibbled my lip, unsure of how he was going to react, "My dad invited him and his family for Christmas. It fully slipped my mind but they actually show up every year. Dave and I drive down to Brighton together for the holidays."
It was silent for a moment and I palmed my forehead, "I-I'm so sorry. He's not backing down."
"So... You don't want me to come with you anymore?"
My eyes widened, "No! No, I very much want you to, I want nothing more than that. But... It means Dave is going to figure it out."
He seemed to let out a sigh of relief, "Bloody hell, I thought you were going to uninvite me."
"No, you silly." I snickered, "Of course not."
"Well... I suppose that means everyone's going to know within the next three weeks, huh?"
Playing with the hair tie that was on my duvet, I nibbled my lip once more, "Yes."
"How do you feel about that?"
His question overwhelmed me a little and I shrugged, "I don't know. It doesn't... scare me as much anymore. On the other hand, I like how things are right now. I don't necessarily want anything to change."
"Hmm." Harry hummed, seemingly in agreement, "Doesn't scare me as much anymore either. Actually... doesn't scare me anymore at all."
I raised my brows, "Really?"
"Really." Harry chuckled, "And I don't think that much is going to change, to be fair."
I felt myself calming down upon hearing how calm Harry was, and I started smiling again, "You don't?"
"No. I mean... Louis knows, Sarah and Mitch know, Liam and Katie know... More people know by now than don't know. It doesn't mean they're suddenly a part of it, it's still just the two of us."
I slowly nodded, "Okay... yeah, okay. That's... I mean, if you put it like that."
"Are you about to say that I'm right?" Harry teased and I let out a laugh, "Alright, you can gloat. You're right, there."
"Oops, line cracked for a bit, can you repeat?"
"Harry!" I laughed, clearing my throat, "You're right. And that's the last time I'm saying it."
We snickered and giggled together for a while until Harry spoke up again, "We'll talk about it next time we get together, yeah? We'll figure something out."
"Alright." I smiled, "Talk later?"
"Talk later." Harry confirmed, "Bye baby."
The line died and I let out a sigh of relief, feeling perked up again after that conversation. We were going to come clean to everyone, tell them all. It would be fine.
Dave would be pissed, but he loved me too much and he saw that I was happy. So he'd get over it.
It would all be just fine.
Katie knocked on my door, popping her head in a second later. I could tell she was holding multiple boxes in her hands, "Everything okay?"
I shot her a smile and nodded, "Yes. It'll be fine."
Dave had let go of his excitement about meeting Model Man and focussed on the true task of today, which was put up the Christmas tree. I snickered at the ornaments that Louis had gifted us the year before, all of little naked puppets doing compromising sex positions.
It had made me blush back then, and Patrick hadn't seen the fun in it at all. Now though, I was far less shy about it, whispering with Katie about some inside jokes. I giggled loudly when she held up two puppets doing it doggy-style and she wiggled her brows.
The tree wasn't very conventional but very us. And I liked it. We were admiring our work when we saw it had once more started snowing. Although right now we could see the fun and excitement in the snow, it would grow old quickly to have the roads blocked and unsafe.
Yet we didn't care about any of that as we all headed outside in our coats, scarves and mittens, holding hot bowls of soup in or hands as we strolled around the small city garden this house had.
It wasn't big, but fun in summer to put up a little floating pool, or in winter to make a snowman. Liam was the one to throw the first snowball, straight in Dave's balls. Some of his soup spilled over the edge of his bowl and Katie and I sputtered out in laughs.
The full bowls of soup were put down as all of us got engulfed in the very serious snowball fight. It turned me and Dave back into eight year-olds, which was when we started the tradition to do this each year when the first snow fell.
We were panting and sweating after running around, pausing for a moment to finish our warm soups. Katie had made her famous tomato-sweet potato soup that all of us loved so much. It was the first meal she made for us and it had earned her a sacred spot in our group of friends.
Sitting on the bench outside in the snow and watching my friends have a snowball fight, I found myself wishing Harry was here. It had gotten to that point that I was so sappy and wanted him around me at all times. He would love this.
I still felt a little uneasy at the thought that our secret would be out in the open soon. It did mean to stop the sneaking around, to stop spending all the time at his place, to give Mitch and Sarah a break, to stop with the stupid nicknames, to kiss and hug in public.
It would all just be fine.