When did it start, Bakugo wondered. Was it when he was helping Yuki get better? Or was it when he took his video game setup to his room? Maybe it was the many times he'd asked Yuki to heal him after training. Or when he saw his scars during training camp... He'd also felt the need to check up on him after the sports festival. He wanted so badly to know what had happened to him and everything else about him.
Did Bakugo know he liked the same gender? Or was it something that just happened? He had never felt anything towards anyone. There was no reason for him to get caught up in that kind of crappy nonsense. Talking to someone and getting all lovey dovey in public made him want to throw up whenever he saw it in public. He'd thought about what kind of person would ever lead him to do that- hell he went on full investigation mode trying to see what was so special about liking someone. Buying romance novels, comics, and movies to try and figure out something he couldn't understand.
Bakugo stared into Yuki's grey eyes, wide with surprise, yet blank for a response.
"Say something!" Bakugo shouted. His arms shook from overusing his quirk, clutching onto the healers shirt like a lifeline. He still didn't understand what he was going through, but the many times he's read or watched this type of trope in the media, it was depicted as heartbreaking... and that, he could now understand.
The silent reply breaking him down from the inside. He shouldn't have said anything. He should have kept it to himself and taken it to his grave. He could have at least asked what his preferences were. He was stupid in even thinking he was going to get a reply. What did he think the outcome would have been?
"You- You... like me...?" Yuki's voice, barely a whisper. It was the certain way Yuki looked at him did Bakugo loosened his grip.
Yuki brought his free hand up to his face. The healer's thoughts were running wild and yet he couldn't say them. He felt relieved and sad and angry and frustrated-- He didn't know what he was feeling for fucks sake! He was beginning to shake and his heart felt like he was about to have a heart attack.
What the fuck is he suppose to do?
"You like...me? As in platonically... right?" Yuki asked again, peeking through his loose strands.
Bakugo frowned, "No you fucking idiot."
"Then- Why- Wait, no. No. You're just tired." Yuki freed himself from Bakugo's grasp and grabbed his wrist in return. "We're both just tired. Let's just go back--"
"I'm not going back until I get a response!" Bakugo held his ground, not budging at the healer's pathetic attempt at pulling him away.
"What the fuck am I supposed to say then?" Yuki asked in a panic, "How am I supposed to react? You caught me off guard and-- I was just yelling at you and you were yelling at me about math homework- I just came back from my work study and I don't know what to do about that-- should just leave it for the pros or if I should get involved--"
"What fuck are you talking about?" Bakugo frowned, slightly irritated. "I just told you I like you and you rambling about something else?!"
What was Yuki thinking about? He was thinking about everything that had happened in the lab. He was thinking about how his scooter was left back at the hospital– When was he going to go pick it up? He should probably go and talk with Aizawa about that– Mina and his classmates had practically cornered him back in the dorms and pressured him to come look for Bakugo. He ran here. And he was tired. He'd been stressed because of Bakugo and just the other day he'd completely given up on talking to him and now he was here. Getting yelled at that a fucking love confession– all within a second.
"You like me!" Yuki exclaimed confused, no other description be fit the look and tone he wore on his brow, "Oh my god- I don't- I'm not--"
" 'You don't' what? You're not– You're not into guys?!" Bakugo asked, trying to make sense of his mumbles.
"No- I mean Yes! I'm gay but- oh my god, I don't know how to- I didn't take you to like– and now–" Yuki ran a hand over his face, completely avoiding looking at Bakugo. The pounding in his head wasn't helping with the vast amount of emotions surging through him. There was a sense of familiarity yet it was being overwhelmed with grief and heartache.
"I'm...I can't give you an answer right now." The healer's voice strained, attempting to calm down, "This... just isn't the right time."
Bakugo didn't say anything. His chest tightening at the realization Yuki was trying not to look at him. At this point Bakugo might as well get on his knees and beg for a reply. He couldn't think about anything else for the last two weeks. He couldn't get him out of his head, he couldn't sleep and he couldn't talk to anyone about it either.
"If- if you're not going back right now... I'll let the rest know you're fine." Yuki mumbled, holding back what he thinks are tears of frustration. He's not in the right mindset for this type of thing, too much has been going on for him to even bother taking the time to relax and stop stressing about different things.
This, he hated to admit, only felt like a nuisance at the moment.
Letting Bakugo's wrist go, Yuki began walking away, "I'll give you a proper response later... just not now."
-.-.-
Yuki's walk back to the dorms felt heavy. His classmates' questioning about Bakugo's behavior irritated him so much he just wanted to yell at them to shut up. But he didn't. He explained Bakugo was just feeling a bit more annoyed due to his remedial classes and it should hopefully calm down in a few days. They didn't question it. He gathered his things from the common area and headed up to his room, mumbling to Iida that he would be skipping dinner for the night.
Yuki locked the door as soon as it closed, dropped his things and dragged himself to the bathroom. He flicked the lights on and turned on the shower head. Once undressed he pulled off his hair tie and tossed it onto the counter, kicked his clothes away and stepped under the shower, feeling the temperature gradually get warmer.
"What the fuck am I gonna do..." a frown returning to his features, frustration surging up his throat and letting out a forced laugh that followed with tears.
* * *
Bakugo stood there in disarray, watching the boy he'd just confessed to walk away without even sparing him a glance.
He'd lost sleep. He couldn't concentrate for long periods at a time. He was getting lower marks on his homework. Training hadn't worked and nearly every distraction he thought of didn't last very long all because of his stupid crush that kept popping up in his head at every convenience it had and now he found himself standing in the middle of the training grounds feeling utterly crushed.
Bakugo hid from Yuki as much as possible just so he could think straight. The amount of times he could feel himself start to get warm and fuzzy were distressing. He avoided visiting Yuki even when he wanted to but when he asked himself why, there really wasn't a reason other than wanting to see him and be around him. He couldn't go to the nurses office because he knew Yuki would be there. He didn't go to him to heal his injuries from his remedial classes like IcyHot did. He bottled everything up and simply overworked himself with training instead. All for it to lead up to this pathetic situation he found himself in.
"Stupid," Bakugo mumbled to himself, "fucking dumbass, I should have..."
The blond gripped his hair in silence. In all the ways this could have gone and all the conversations he'd mentally prepared himself for, this one had not been accounted for. Best case scenario? Out the window. This also wasn't the worst case scenario either, which he'd doubted after thinking about it.
Did he know he was going to blurt it out? Of course fucking not. He didn't realize what he was saying until he finished and it was stupid, stupid, stupid. Of course Yuki wasn't going to react the way he did. Bakugo was the one who kept avoiding him, completely ignoring his existence because he couldn't fucking process what the fuck was going on with him.
Bakugo's face contorted into a deep frown, small sparks muffled through his fists. With a deep breath he shouted.
* * *
"Yuki-kun! You're late for class!" Iida scolded.
Yuki stumbled into the class from the back door. His hair wasn't neatly combed or tied up like he'd usually have it, tie undone, buttons on his shirt weren't properly aligning.
"It's inappropriate to not be properly dressed--" Yuki put his hand up to Iida's face as he stumbled into his seat.
"The bell hasn't rung... I'm not late." Yuki mumbled, leaning into his chair and fixing his shirt.
Iida was slightly taken aback, "Did your alarm not go off this morning? I tried to wake you up but you locked your door, which I find odd since--"
"Iida." Yuki turned to look at his seatmate. "No offence, but please...let me properly wake up first."
It was then Iida noticed the slight rasp to his friend's voice and the light tint of red around the tired grey eyes.
Yuki did his best to fix his uniform as Aizawa began homeroom. He didn't bother to pay much attention since Iida was so diligently listening. Yuki could ask him later. However his gloomy like attitude wasn't missed by everyone else in class.
Aizawa wasn't completely oblivious to the fact Yuki seemed out of it since he checked in the previous day. Perhaps he should have questioned him yesterday before letting him return to the dorms. But for now, he'd let it slide and made a mental note to check in on him if this continued.
-.-.-
Iida made sure to be diligent for Yuki throughout the morning. With Uraraka, Tsuyu, and Midoriya out for the day he would need to be. He wasn't might not be quick to catch what it was Yuki seemed bothered about but he was going to make sure he was there for his friend. Throughout class he made sure to take more notes just in case Yuki would ask for them later.
Later during lunch, Iida noticed just how much more troubled Yuki was acting. His usual playful demeanor was completely absent and the way his face would from time to time go dark and mournful.
"Is... is there something wrong with the food?" Iida asked, attempting to ease into a conversation. The noisy cafeteria was oddly on the quieter side that day.
"Midoriya eats this nearly everyday doesn't he?" Yuki asked, picking at the katsudon. He hadn't eaten much besides the small scoops of rice, his food getting cold.
"I suppose so." Iida replied, placing his utensils down.
"Are they at work study?" Yuki asked, bringing his glass of water to his lips.
"Yes. So is Asui-san and Kirishima-kun." if Iida had to do small talk to get his friend to talk he would do so.
"Right..." Yuki mindlessly replied.
"I didn't see your scooter outside the dorms this morning. Did something happen at the hospital?" Iida inquired.
"A lot of things happened..." Yuki mumbled, not enough for Iida to actually hear him.
Iida couldn't stand seeing a dear friend of his move around his food and not eat. "For someone who skipped dinner last night and breakfast this morning I'm surprised you wouldn't be eating more." he wryly jokes.
The healer's utensils slammed down as he stood up, "I'm going to see if Recovery Girl needs any help today–" he went to grab and place everything back on the tray only for his glass of water to topple over. The students around them glanced over to the small commotion.
"Shit." Yuki cursed under his breath, scrambling to pick up the empty glass.
"Language." Iida lightly scolded getting up and quickly grabbing napkins. "If you really need to see her, go. I'll clean up here. It doesn't seem like you're fine."
"No." Yuki grabbed the napkins from Iida, "It's fine, I'll just hurry and clean–"
Iida placed a reassuring hand on Yuki's shoulder, "Yuki, I got it. Go and get some rest."
The healer's lips thinned, "I'm sorry."
"Don't be. I'll let Aizawa-sensei know you weren't feeling too well."
"Thank you, Iida." Yuki slightly bowed and took his leave.
He was glad Iida didn't push the conversation any further otherwise he might have ended up as he was last night. As he left the cafeteria, Yuki couldn't help but feel like he was being watched intensely.
* * *
Lunch ended and everyone was heading back to class.
Yuki hadn't been the only one to have a sleepless night. Bakugo, the one who would regularly go to sleep on time with occasionally staying up a bit late, hadn't slept a wink. He dragged along with the group of morons following him, stopping just before entering the class.
"Hey, why'd you stop?" Sero asked from behind.
"Are you going to beat someone up right now?" Kaminari jokingly asked.
"I'm going to see Recovery Girl." Bakugo mumbled, walking past the class.
"Oi, Are you okay? Did you catch something?" Kaminari quickly questioned.
Bakugo didn't reply and hurried to the nurse's office.
With a light knock Bakugo walked in, greeted with silence.
"Sorry, Recovery Girl isn't–" Yuki emerged from behind the curtains, freezing in place.
"I'm just here to get some shut eye." Bakugo grumbled, closing the door and shoving his hands in his front pockets.
"Oh." Yuki awkwardly looked away nodding, "that's fine." and closed the curtain.
Bakugo contemplated where to go lay down among the rows of beds on one side of the office. He didn't want to make Yuki feel any more uncomfortable than he already seemed to be. But without realizing it, he still found himself taking the bed beside Yuki's. Even if there was a curtain separating the two from view.
Bakugo laid down, hands behind his head he softly said, "I'm sorry about yesterday."
Yuki stiffened and nervously buried his face into the pillow, a muffled, "Why are you sorry?"
A moment passed and Bakugo replied, "I didn't mean to say anything at the moment. It just kinda...came out."
Yuki couldn't help the warmth creeping onto his face. Unlike the night before, this atmosphere was much slower. Still felt anxious but it was more manageable now that he's had a bit more time.
"Like we both practically came out of the closet?" Yuki mumbled. A light chuckle from the other side of the curtain made Yuki bury his face further into the pillow in embarrassment.
"That was– I didn't think you'd hear that." Yuki lightly laughed.
"No." Bakugo grinned, "It's pretty accurate."
The two settled into a comfortable silence.
Yuki fiddled with his hair strands, "I'm sorry too."
Bakugo frowned, looking at the curtain as though he could see Yuki. "For what? Yelling?"
"That too." Yuki admitted, his throat had been sore in the morning and having slept with his window open, the cold night breeze certainly didn't help.
"I don't think I made it clear what I was trying to say. It just felt like I was all over the place." the healer sighed.
Bakugo hummed in reply. "I didn't realize it before but... Did something happen yesterday?"
Yuki shifted on the bed, turning to lay on his back.
"You alway listen to me rant about stupid shit. I could at least listen to you complain every once in a while." Bakugo added when no reply came.
Yuki covered an arm over his eyes, "I'm not allowed to talk about it. It's confidential."
"So work study shit." Bakugo concluded.
Yuki let out an airy laugh, "Yeah, work study shit."
Bakugo missed this. Just being around Yuki and talking to him felt like he could fall into a deep sleep until the next week.
"Bakugo," Yuki turned to face the curtain. "I should have been clear yesterday about my answer–"
"It's fine. You don't need to give me one–"
"You deserve an answer." Yuki firmly stated. "But I need time to think about it. I have a lot going on right now and–"
"That's fine." Bakugo quickly replied. "You want time, I get that."
"I don't know when you'll get an answer." Yuki admitted. Dr. Nozawa had told him the test results were part of an ongoing case but it was pretty clear it wouldn't come to an end this soon.
"Then I'll wait." Bakugo shrugged, not that Yuki could see. But it was pretty imaginable.
"I'll wait if you wanna give me a reply." Bakugo grumbled, "just make it quick."
Yuki let out a laugh. "No promises."
With the window open, birds chirped about in the afternoon sun. The autumn breeze beginning to intertwine with the summer skies as it left.
"Can I–"
Yuki perked up at Bakugo's voice but couldn't hear him properly. "What was it?"
"Can I still–"
Yuki was amused he was gonna have to do this again, "I didn't catch that either. We talked about your grumbling before Baku–"
"Can I still hang out at your place?" Bakugo blurts out, quickly bringing his hands over his face.
Yuki stared at the curtain and softly smiled, "I never said you couldn't anymore."
"I assumed you wouldn't want me coming over after a pathetic excuse of a confession." Bakugo admitted, his embarrassment becoming apparent, red quickly covering his face, neck and tips of his ears. However, Yuki didn't know that and he couldn't have been more than grateful for a stupid curtain.
"Well, unless you're willing to abandon your gaming set until my reply I don't see why you couldn't come over." Yuki obviously replied.
"Okay." Bakugo managed to reply.
Yuki, having felt the weight on his mind and shoulders leave, settled comfortably into the silence while Bakugo internally fought for his embarrassment to quickly go away.
By the time Bakugo managed to properly calm down he realized just how quiet it had gotten.
Turning over to his side he stared at the curtain, "You still awake?" He was met with the faintest breathing. Quietly getting out of bed he leaned against the wall and peeked over. Sure enough, Yuki was fast asleep. He returned to bed and laid facing the curtain once again.
Bakugo felt a weight lift off his chest. They were still on good terms and he was glad. He was relieved to still have this sense of calm and soothing feeling Yuki managed to give him. Even if he were to reject him in the end, that would be fine. He just hoped to continue being at his side.
A/N: Didn't think I'd be uploading this soon (hence the happy holiday's) but I finished
:)