After a long deliberation of whether he would enter the place he had stood in front of, he had his fingers clutching the entrance's door tightly and unconsciously opening the door entrance leaving him no choice to enter.
Walking inside hit him with an unbelievable sense of nostalgia, remembering his youthful days and how he used to sneak in here with his pocket freshly stuffed by his allowance for the week, checking out things his fingers could utilize to create something that would satisfy him – in his eyes and his pride.
And he thought, how long since he last came here? It felt like years, no, it was years. The place did change though, adapting to modernity, it became more edgy in terms of appearance, had new sections and a whole lot bigger extension. Time drifted too fast, and people had to adapt. It was a constant push and pull – time, that is. And it was tiring but that's how you live – by pushing and pulling, and if you want to gain something, you had to pull with all your might.
He was glad though, to see the art shop he used to go to reaching the peak of success, he would be damned if this shop closed down because this place was the setting of one of his greatest memories with Jungkook, he befriended the old manager owner here when he was going through the hoops of courting Jeon Jungkook, he went over as often trying to get new materials he could use to draw and paint because every time he would draw Jungkook, it would always pale in comparison on how he looked in reality and it would frustrate him, so much, how he could never capture Jungkook's beauty in his own crafts.
"Good morning, sir!" The cheerful young lady greeted him, and he smiled at the youth's enthusiasm. Happiness is contagious? Anyway, what's the point of turning down the enthusiasm and discouraging people who are working hard for a living? It's the least compensation for them, to be frank.
"Good morning," he greeted back, and the popping question in his mind urged to leave his mouth. "Can I ask, where's Mr. Nam?" There, he asked, remembering how the old man wasn't the one who greeted him open nor is he sitting at that counter whenever there wasn't any people to accommodate around.
"Oh," The girl's enthusiasm suddenly turned upside down, her lips doing the same and forming a frown. He knew it was bad, the way it turned such enthusiasm into ashes that quick, in just a single question. But he didn't expect it when he heard it, "uhm, he's gone sir. It's been a year."
"Oh, I see." Jimin replied, grief and loss thriving in his heart, but it was too late. The old man helped him so much, he helped him how to draw better and which materials he could use to better project colors and lines – he helped him get together with Jungkook. And after finally hearing Jungkook say 'yes', he brought him there first. Way before his parents, way before anyone else, he had introduced Jungkook to the old man first as his boyfriend – his boyfriend! He still can't believe he's the luckiest man that made Jungkook say 'yes'.
He felt sad of all of a sudden, want to pause and grieve, but he knew that old man Nam was getting really old and knowing he's at peace somewhere above the skies, it gave him a sense of relief. Plus the fact that his children didn't just abandoned this place and instead turned into a success of a shop, it probably made the old man so happy in heaven.
"I'll just look around," Jimin said to the girl and wandered to the different sections of the store.
He searched for a sketch pad, he wanted one with many leaves so Jikook could draw a lot or if he ever does mistakes, he didn't have to suffer from insufficiency. He checked all the sketch pads out meticulously, some having sharp springs and while others have folds on the cover. Onto his next search, he found it – the one he's been searching for and it was too incredulous that it made him want to laugh at his childishness, but he knew at instant it was perfect, the perfect sketch pad for Jikook. He took it, inspecting it, this one has double springs that kept them tight and no – there wasn't any springs that overlapped so no pointy ends, just loop after loop.
It was thick with many pages too, and it made him smile. This was perfect; he kept on thinking as he rummaged through the pencil sections for a case set, he wanted to choose and buy what he used to but it didn't deem appropriate for Jikook's age, and he settled with a preschool pencils the one that had numbers to determine how thick the pencil would be. He took boxes of those, at least three, deciding it was too much to get five.
He got erasers too, yeah. That was essential, and took different types though, at least three too. He glanced around searching for things he might need, passing by a section of colored pens and pencils. Jimin didn't use color pencils much, add the fact that he was in a slump after debut finding less time to draw and at sometimes no time at all, so he didn't know what would be best for children.
He tried to look grabbing the two best looking packaging that completely indicated it was for children, it was bad enough to judge something by its cover, but the industry is really in a cutthroat these days and sometimes the best packaging had the best quality or if not, great quality, it's just something to begin with anyway. If Jikook finds a brand he gets used too, then that's what he'll buy.
"Having a hard time, sir?" The girl asked.
"Uh, yeah." Jimin answered honestly, "I myself don't use color pencils often, and I don't really have an idea what color pencils would be great for kids."
"Try the one on your right hand, sir. It's been a best seller for weeks, kids fawning over it. Even my nephew asks me to get it for him and he seems to enjoy using it since I got it for him last week."
"Alright, thank you so much. Finally," He chuckled lightly, taking the one on his right and putting the one on his left back to the rack.
He checked out, pulling out his wallet and preparing his card for swiping.
If you ask teenage Jimin where he would find himself later, it probably wasn't in an art shop he used to go to and shopping for his son's art materials. It seemed all too fast, seeing his other half, chasing after him and finding out that they had a son after he left him.
Jimin searched for him, Jungkook. He did, when he thought he was ready to face him despite all the pain and suffering he must have made him felt after he left. But he really did, the conscience he bear didn't make him alright at all – not a single day and night did Jungkook not came to his mind. He searched for him, hiring investigators and all but nobody knew where Jungkook went a year later after that night. He searched too late, but maybe that's because he was too caught up on training. But each day, he promised himself and mentally to Jungkook that they will see each other again and seeing him that day beside the river, was all it took to make him go all crazy again. To make his heart come back to life and beating and pounding out of his chest, that's all it took - him. After all, it was always him.
He was desperate, yeah. He was aching and craving for Jungkook, maybe that's why he got too cocky and excited, wanted to hold Jungkook himself already and not forgetting about what he did. But after the rejections and heart wrenching things Jungkook said to him that it almost made him want to give up, he still loves him. He's a prick, a prick for leaving the one he loves, but in life, we all do stupid mistakes and horrible decisions and that's why second chances exist. Because you can't get things right at first try, you fail, and that's why you try again all for the second time. And you try until you get it, until you succeed – success, after all, isn't achieve in just a single effort or movement but it's a series of efforts.
Imagine his shock when he found out he has a son with Jungkook, he was ready though. Ready to give Jungkook up for Jungkook's sake and wish, because if you love him, let him go. Let him feel at ease, that's what love is. And it took him painful slaps and words to realize that. That love was making the other person comfortable with you and not doing things that he doesn't like. Love wasn't controlling, love was sharing and respecting each other for one's own respective uniqueness. That alone says something, that relationship and love isn't supposed to ground a person to you alone, rather making the person flourish with you standing right beside him/her. Love was about growing after all.
But that son, was a sign though, that he shouldn't leave Jungkook again. A child was something Jimin didn't knew he really wanted until it was there. Scratch that, yes he wanted a family, but not in an early age, but the fact that Jikook is born - and is living and breathing, he was glad and relieved that he had done something right.
And for all the years he had left Jikook and Jungkook alone, giving them the perfect and complete family was the least he could do.
For me,
for Jungkook,
for Jikook,
yeah, for us,
He thought.
-
Jungkook heated up the kettle and put it on the stove. He started chopping things here and there, preparing breakfast for both Jikook and him.
Jikook was busying himself with helping his appa prepare the table, trying to properly put on the placemat in its correct and aligned position. Jungkook smiled though, he looks too engaged, placing bowls, spoon and chopsticks.
He's on his day off again, thank god. Things got busier with everything going on fast forward, and he needed the break. And at times like this, he'd like to prepare Jikook a good breakfast with rice. It's not good letting Jikook feed off on those sugary cereals. He ought to have real food, he's a growing child.
He had beaten the eggs using his chopsticks when a knock on the door roared, halting Jikook on his actions because he heard utensils dropping lightly on the table and no further sound followed that. "Jikook-ah, could you open the door? Appa's quite busy."
"Okay, appa!" Jikook replied cheerfully, wondering who could be visiting them early this morning. No one goes to them this early and not much people visit their place. Hmm, he marched to the door and tiptoeing on his toes to reach the oh-so-high door knob and twisted it open.
He was looking at two muscular legs bulging in dark colored jeans, the little boy raised his head up to see who it was and underneath the beanie and black mask, the boy's eyes glinted with recognition. As their gazes met, they both had grins plastered on their lips already, "hyung!" Jikook exclaimed loudly, smiling wide at the sight of Jimin, getting excited at the idea of someone new at their home for the first time. Though, confusion painted his eyes, filling them with a glint of curiosity.
"Why are you here, hyung?" The little boy asked making Jimin bend down to level Jikook's height.
"It's because I have to keep my promise, don't I?" Jimin told, hiding his hands behind his back.
"Yeah, hyung, you should. Appa told me it's bad to break promises! He also told me that if I make I promise I should do my best to keep it."
Oh.
Okay, that caught Jimin off guard. He ruffled Jungkook, "Right, that's right, your appa's great for teaching you that. Because, if you can't make it come true, why bother promising, right?"
Jikook nodded. But the confusion earlier bubbled and popped more questions, "But what promise do you have to keep, hyung?"
Jimin smirked, "Have you forgotten?" Then, pulled out what he was hiding from his behind. The art materials he had bought first thing in the morning, all in a cutesy transparent backpack. Jikook's face shifted from confusion to sheer happiness, "Wah!" Jimin heard him say before the boy surprisingly jumped into his arms.
He caught the little boy with his arms. His toned and sturdy arms wrapping around the little boy's tiny waist, and he smiled feeling the young boy in his arms, the satisfaction and longing filling up his heart like he never knew he needed. This is his son, right in his arms. Fuck, he wanted to cry out in happiness.
"Hyung! You didn't really have to, I can't believe this,"
"Then, should I take it back? Jimin-hyung really had a hard time picking everything." Jimin pouted, flashing a sad and disappointed face in front of Jikook. The boy patted his inflated cheeks, "No, hyung, I want it!"
"Good, I thought you didn't like it."
"No way! I've always wanted art materials but appa doesn't have much to buy for me and I get too shy to ask, so thank you so much hyung!"
Jikook's honesty had found a way to Jimin's heart, and gripped it tightly – making it clench and throb with guilt and sadness. The feeling made Jimin's throat constricted and temporarily hard to breathe but he endured it, as it hit him with the clarity on how Jungkook had struggled so much without him. Trying to make end meets while standing as a responsible parent to Jikook by teaching him all he knows. He wanted to hit himself; the love of his life suffering alone while carrying the responsibility of raising their child alone, it was hard and Jimin couldn't even fathom the extent of Jungkook's hardships. But he was brave, he was damn brave for getting this far.
Don't worry, love. I'm here now. You're carrying it for so long now I'll carry you this time, you and Jikook both, and even if my feet gets sore, I'll endure because it's nothing than what you've gone through, you've gone through so much. This time, I'll do everything for you, everything I couldn't do when I left you, and sincerely ask you to forgive me and amend my sins. I want to give you and our son the world and everything you deserve, fuck, I love you both so much and I'm so fucking sorry I wasn't there.
And it was true; he could feel his heart swell with swirling emotions that he could pinpoint individually but with all of them coming it once, it was a whirl wind, a myriad of thundering emotions that ought to be felt and expressed but he held, he held back, he'll let them know how much he loves them when opportunity strikes, Jungkook wouldn't want him springing into anything goofy, wouldn't want him being the same stubborn and cocky Jimin that he was, that's for sure because Jungkook hated him that way.
"I love you," he breathlessly whispered to his son, rubbing the tear that escaped his eye quickly when he felt Jikook shifting beneath him.
"Did you say something, hyung?" He asked, what Jimin said came out breathlessly that it was inaudible and dull, making Jikook unable to muster and register it.
"Nothing," He continued to swipe his cheeks to leave no remnants of tears for Jikook to cast suspicion but his eyes gave it away - the glimmer of regrets and endless what ifs. "Here, you can take a look at it, this is yours now, baby."
"Thank you so much, hyung!" Jikook squealed in delight, taking the bag from Jimin and wore it quickly in front of him.
"How does it look, hyung?" He shows it off to Jimin, like a model flaunting a newly released bag, and it evoked great laughter out of Jimin.
"Our Jikook looks more handsome with this bag," Jimin gave him thumbs up despite the laughter trying to interrupt his speech, making him broke into a big smile.
And Jikook laughed as well, both of them laughing in sync and feeling the pit of their stomachs ache with joy.
Their happy bubble had burst when they heard someone, "Jimin?"
The father and son crouched down both looked at Jungkook, "Appa! Jimin-hyung is here!" Jikook informed Jungkook happily, "And he gave me this! Hyung kept his promise appa," He did it again, the flaunting, showing Jungkook his new bag, "There's art materials inside too!"
Jungkook looked at Jimin warily, his eyes squinting before turning to his son again and took a check on the bag. Then, he saw the tag that came along with the bag. It was a branded one! All new and defined quality, but the brand alone – already tells him that even if he worked for a year, he'll not be able to afford it. It was too expensive!
"Isn't this...too expensive?" Jungkook uttered, looking at Jimin who tilted his head as if inquiring for further elaboration. And Jungkook further did, "Didn't this cost you too much?"
Jimin didn't want to flaunt wealth so he meticulously answered, "It does but it's okay." And it is, for an average person, it would definitely cost too much, but Jimin is in a world-known boy group, earning money after money with continuous world tours, album releases and even merchandises. "Don't worry."
"No, it's too much how can you expect a child to wear this?"
"It's fine, Jungkook. I swear, you don't need to worry. I bought it specifically for Jikook, who else would wear it? Come on, don't decline this please. It took me a lot of time to choose everything for Jikook because I wanted him to like it."
Jungkook opened his mouth to speak, but decided not to. Yes, he wanted to give it back to Jimin but the look of plead and sincerity on Jimin's eyes and the way he told him he chose it especially for Jikook and poured a lot of time into doing it says a lot. It was a gift, anyway and his son looks ecstatic about it, who is he to pry away his son's source of happiness?
"Get inside," Jungkook told Jimin. And Jimin pointed his self at the sudden remark, him? Oh, yes him! He was standing before the line of the door frame finally remembering he was still stood there outside.
"Oh yeah, yeah," Jimin nodded off with a smile. Carefully removing his shoes and placing it beside the door inside, leaving him only with his foot socks.
"You can sit on the couch I'll get back here in a minute." Jungkook told him before leaving back to the kitchen.
Jimin nodded again, cautiously sitting on the couch like he was about to get eaten in a matter of seconds if he loses his focus. Jikook was following him though, and he called out Jikook suggesting, "Would you want to check out the art materials?"
Jikook agreed, showing the bag in front of Jimin and Jimin unzipped it, pulling out the items one by one. The both of them sat on the floor instead and Jimin began to discuss Jikook what the materials are and how he should use it properly so they can last while Jungkook took his time on the kitchen to finish what he had started to cook forgetting about the "in a minute" he said.
"Hyung, do you draw too?"
"Yep, I used to draw back in high school," Jimin admitted, "but not anymore these days."
"Can you try and draw please? I want to see!" The boy placed his hands on Jimin's leg, leaning in closer to him as he looked at him pleadingly.
"Mm, I'll try okay?" Jimin caved in, not even a few seconds of hesitation. He just gave in. "What do you want me to draw?"
"Appa!"
"Huh?"
"Let's draw Jungkook-appa, hyung!" Jikook exclaimed, throwing his hands up in the air as if discovering a breakthrough.
"Okay, okay," Jimin agreed, the excited look on Jikook had him powerless against his son, but maybe that was the fact that it was his son that was asking him things, and giving it to his son was something that made it all fulfilling.
Jimin asked Jikook to sharpen the pencil but not too pointed or else it might harm him. Then, like a possessed body, Jimin started to draw lines and shapes here and there, etching a 'chibi' image of Jungkook.
The final touch was Jimin putting 'Nochu' on Jungkook's plain shirt. They both laughed, Jikook saying his appa does partly look like it but it was cute, hyung was so fast at drawing!
Jungkook came out from the kitchen and started to approach them. Jimin excused himself from Jikook and let him know that he's going to talk to his appa. Jungkook looked at Jikook, "Jikook-ah, take your gift to your room first or else you might end up scattering them here and won't be able to find them anymore. Come on, you can check everything in your room, Jikook-ah, then appa will call you for breakfast."
Jikook nodded putting the materials they used inside the bag and slinging it to his shoulders as he hurriedly went to his room to do what he was eager to do even before his appa told him.
"How did you find our home?" Jungkook sharply asked, the moment Jikook had gone off sight, it was too direct that Jimin couldn't even brush it off to approach a lighter topic. But what's the use? They used to be lovers, studied each other like it was going to be forever between the both of them, and it's that reality that no truth can hide between them unless it's going to be concealed and break them apart.
Jimin held Jungkook's gaze with his own, staring deep into those eyes as he spoke with utmost honesty, "I dropped you near the neighborhood so it wasn't har to ask about you around especially because Jikook's popular here, the cute child with his single father, yeah, the ahjummas adore him." He informed, flashing a lopsided smile, being reminisced of searching the neighborhood back and forth for hours to search for Jungkook's home, repeatedly describing both Jungkook and JIkook to the people he bumped into.
Though, Jungkook wasn't pleased at all, he felt like his privacy being invaded and unsafe from Park Jimin. He wanted to cast Jimin away because he's everywhere! He's everywhere he looks and goes, slowly getting into his system without permission. And it sucks the oxygen out of him; his home was one of the places he could breathe without troubling himself with troubling himself with his issue with Jimin, but what? Here's universe giving him another cosmic joke as he stood in front of the person he's trying his best to run away from.
"Was that really all? You came all the way here just to fulfill your promise to Jikook?"
"No."
It took Jungkook aback how quickly Jimin answered no, and he looked so adamant, so firm with his answer that it left no room for doubt.
"I came all the way here because I wanted to spend time with the both of you."
The honesty dripping from Jimin's statement was evident that it dropped down Jungkook's attempt to further question the motive. Lately, Jimin's baring all his emotions and beginning to become like an open book where he can read him but maybe it was just because him and Jimin were years back, had history written between the two of them only to end in tragedy. Or maybe it was how Jimin's way of showing how much he really wants this, wearing his heart in his sleeves and ready to be controlled and taken by Jungkook just to be forgiven and be a part of the broken family.
A throbbing ache thrived in Jungkook's chest, his hand resting on his chest as he rubbed to soothe it away. If only he could have heard it years ago, maybe everything would have been different. If Jimin just came back the day after and told him he came all the way because he wanted to spend time with him, he would accept him gladly.
Yet he heard it now, years later, it staked his heart but beneath the pain was something he didn't really want to name – he longed for this, longed for him to say things like this like they were okay again. He longed for Jimin like he craved for oxygen in the urban city where there's nothing but polluted smoke.
"You okay?" Jimin asked him, standing up to check on him, his hands instinctively on his ways and elbows as if preventing him from falling.
"I'm okay," He quickly turned Jimin's hands away, scared the way his touch would leave him begging for more, scared that he'll find himself again unable to live without it resting on his skin. "I've prepared breakfast, you can eat with us if you'd like." Jungkook fled the scene and back to his kitchen, feeling frustrated at the wavering feelings that came along with Jimin's constant appearances.
He busied himself with putting the food at the table, he poured everything from the cooking pot into the serving pot then there it is again - the thundering feeling as he bumped into the figure that emerged from nowhere. "Can I help you with something?" He asked him, but it took seconds late before Jungkook to answer.
"Please call Jikook for me, it's time for breakfast after all." He just answered and he went away.
God, he feels sick.
The three of them sat near the table, the aroma from the cooked food and rice in front of them filling each other's nostrils. Jikook was hungry, he had whined, and Jungkook started placing portions of the food onto his child's plate. The time he was putting food and rice to Jikook's plate was he felt being under Jimin's gaze, it wasn't intimidating or scary, instead he felt being - adored? Admired?
Jimin looked at Jungkook with such sweet gaze, and it was all because how Jungkook looked great as a father. How Jungkook looked like a protective lion over a cub, how he prioritized feeding his child over feeding himself. He felt prideful too, that Jungkook, his love, his baby, have grown with such maturity taking care of their child Jikook with his might and miraculous efforts. "You should eat," he spoke that made Jungkook stop, "I'll feed him. Just eat, don't worry."
Jungkook stared at him for awhile, but before he could utter anything Jimin tended to Jikook and started talking to him. "Jikook-ah, appa will eat so Jimin-hyung will help you eat, is that alright?"
"Fine by me, hyung. Give me more soup please!"
"Okay!" Jimin attended to Jikook's request, acting a slave for a child.
Jungkook hid a smile at that, internally wishing for Jikook to boss Jimin around even more, he scooped up rice with his spoon and ate a portion of his food.
"Jungkookie," Jimin called and he didn't know if he heard it right.
"Yeah?" He answered back, munching off his food as he looked at him.
"Do you and Jikook have plans today?"
"Hm, not at all really,"
"Then, can I invite you guys to an art exhibit with me? It's nothing really, if you don't want to it's fine, I just happened to pass by it and bought some extra tickets because I thought Jikook would like to see some paintings and art,"
"Jimin, I haven't even turned you down, calm down," Jungkook apprehended, that made Jimin scratched the back of his head and utter an apology. Jimin actually thought of this, he didn't pass by it. He bought it with the thought of Jikook beforehand. It poked his heart, was he really springing into a new leaf? Pouring efforts to fix broken bridges with us?
Jungkook turned Jikook, "did you hear that Jikook? Jimin-hyung is inviting us to watch an art exhibit, do you want to go?"
"Art exhibit, appa? There are lots of paintings there isn't it? I saw it on TV! Can we? Can we really go? I want!"
"You got your answer, Jimin," Jungkook told him, "it's a yes for the both of us. What time does it start?"
"Two hours from now."
"Oh, we'll get ready after eating then."
-
Jimin brought his car and he drove Jungkook and Jikook to the museum where the art exhibit would be held. It was a collection of Korea's top artists, and he wanted to go to this before and going here with his family, yeah family. He liked calling them that – that's what they are anyway. He's nailing two birds with one stone.
Before they enter they took in the elegant and classy structure of the building's façade, it was how modern and simple looking but overall appealing that gave them the feeling of sophistication oozing. Jimin took out the tickets and handed over the woman before the entrance to the wing, and in return they had to be strapped.
Upon entering, their visions were bombarded with different artworks begging to be gaze upon and appreciate for its remarkable beauty and compelling stories behind each of them. They had a long time ahead so they decided to go each of it one by one.
First art work was the beauty of the night and the flowing river that's transparent enough to let the moon light pass through it, clear river and the blinding moon light traveling deep across it reflecting nothing but the beauty of the night sky. The background littered by glowing fireflies, and it all felt real, like they were seeing it with their naked eyes and capturing it like they were inside the painting.
Jungkook awed, batting his eyelashes as he continued to take in the art work, and there was Jimin on his side, rather than looking at the art work in front of him, he chose to look at the beauty beside him. Because in Jimin's version of the world, Jungkook was the most beautiful thing ever existed, he was dumb enough to let go of it when he had him in his arms. But looking at him now, the impossibility of not being able to hold him again seemed like it was long gone, and now he's just inches away from the one that got away – or the one he left away, he wanted to close the distance and have his lips against his, but he had to control the urge to. Fuck, his heart feels like it's going to explode.
Jikook was held by Jungkook and as they went on, Jikook wanted to get free of Jungkook's hold. "Appa, I want to walk, let me go please,"
"But, there's people around here, you might get lost," Jungkook told him worriedly, which Jikook strongly detested.
"No! I will stand beside you and Jimin-hyung, pleaseeeee." He begged rubbing his palms together, showing that doe eyes, and pouting lips that no one could ever resist.
"It's okay, Jungkook, let him down. I'll take a look at him from time to time and I'll be at your back to check on you both. Plus, this place is not that big, and there are staffs everywhere that we could ask in case he goes somewhere we won't see."
"But, he's small, he might get hurt,"
"Oh come on, you don't expect people to stampede here, yes there are many, but the atmosphere is serene not enough to cause a commotion because everybody's here to appreciate. This is not always we can experience, let him be, Jungkook-ah. Maybe it's his way of enjoying,"
"Fine." Jungkook let out an annoyed sigh which Jimin couldn't help but smirk at. He let down Jikook but not without telling him not to go too far and as much as possible stay near at them.
Thank goodness though, Jikook obeyed them and stayed at least an art work ahead of them, which Jimin stood alert from time to time in case he dashed off somewhere when something or someone piqued his interest. Their next art work had wistfulness and tragedy written all over it, a woman crying as the man leave for the army.
"It's sad, isn't it? Being left alone - not knowing when they'll come back or not," Jungkook suddenly uttered that had Jimin taken a back because that was a blow. That was a shade between them, a tea that had been spilt.
"But, don't you think it's hard for the man too? Choosing between his purpose and his heart? Leaving his heart and doesn't even know if he has a chance of coming back? That's all he knows. Protecting his country until she came along, but he has to continue what he dreams of doing, what he dreams of protecting."
It was a tough call, a hard glass to break, choosing between what your purpose and your love. It was the man's dreams and fate – to serve his country, choosing the path to become a soldier in the first place was not easy, but it was his 'call', the purpose that he's meaning to seek. And then love came along, now he has one more to protect, beyond the country, his heart that's beating for someone.
"Yet, how can they just leave like that? If they truly love them, they wouldn't cause so much pain. And the irony is so lost there, because the one you love is the one who keeps causing you so much pain."
"But he had to leave no matter where his heart lies, where his heart was alive, this was his call. It was for his love one also. It was for the both of them, protecting the man's country was like protecting and ensuring that what they'll soon have will be protected. You have to invest, to ensure the future." Jimin told, his heart racing not sure of what, but he felt it right there, pain. "And yes, pain, that's why you're hurting because you love them so much." I love you so much, Jungkook.
"You wouldn't feel pain at all, if it wasn't for the love you have for them. Pain is what makes love genuine."
"It's dumb enough to reason love for hurting people, Jimin." Jungkook retorted. "You're losing the main essence of love with your mindset."
"But it's inevitable!" Jimin exclaimed, "You can't love without hurting, that's like washing your hands but not wanting it to get dirty right after, it's fucking impossible. And fuck, I'm hurting so much, Jungkook. I'm hurting because I love you so much,"
And Jimin knows too, that Jungkook was hurting. It was in his eyes, that shone with emotions, in his smiles that hid it, and his gestures that stemmed it – the fact that Jimin could affect Jungkook like that, make him release those bent up emotions, means that there was still something, something deep down there that cared and was attached to Jimin.
"Then, why did you leave me?!" Jungkook equaled it, but they were too far from the crowd of people that was eyeing the most expensive painting out there that was unveiled.
"You think I didn't have a hard time choosing it? It was for my future, for us!" Jimin told, "It was a selfish choice but I considered you too, because in the end I wanted to give you a better life. And with my status back then, I wasn't going anywhere – we weren't going anywhere. I had to think for the long run!"
Jungkook's heart tugged at the revelation, was there more behind the third party stunt that Jimin pulled on him? "So you didn't leave me because you fell in love somebody?"
"Fuck! No! I'm so fucking deep in you that falling out of love didn't even came to mind, you're the only one I've loved and still do. You really think that was easy for me after all the things we've did, after all the plans we've had, after all the I love you's we shared?"
And that hit Jungkook's world like a meteor shower, each drop of heavenly body crashed and gave a strong impact that he wouldn't know if he'll be able to recover. He wanted to say something, trying to string the words together in his head, but it just didn't make sense. Why?
Then, there was a swarm of people behind them. All looking at their direction, fuck, somebody might have heard them. And in such a blink of an eye, everybody was screaming Jimin's name.
"Is that Jimin? Yah! Park Jimin!"
"Oh my god, Park Jimin from BTS?"
"He's here? He's here, oh my god, my bias is here!"
Jimin who was looking at him, his eyes brimming with tears and flaring with emotions, looked back and cursed loudly. He wiped the tears off, grabbing something out of his pocket quickly, "Go inside the car and wait for me there."
"And you, how about you? Where are you going?"
"Just go inside there and take Jikook, I'll be right there. And if I'm not there by 10 minutes, go start the car and go home. I'll meet you back at your house."
"But-"
"Go on, kookie-ah, I'll follow you, I promise."
Jungkook nodded, and took Jikook who was two artworks ahead of them. Jungkook carried Jikook in his arms, after seeing the swarm of people behind them it made him terrified, it was so reminiscent of the day he got lost and got stuck in the damn crowd. Jungkook turned back and saw Jimin standing there, awaiting the people, this was him now.
He's famous and people are obsessed with him, anywhere he goes there's a risk of him being identified and get involve with this.
Be safe, Jimin-ah.
Jungkook went outside and quickly plunged the keys to the slot to open it and made Jikook sit at the back while he's waiting at the passenger's seat. He turned the engine on, putting the air conditioner to life and fanning them with cold air.
He sat there tiredly, breathing so ragged out of exhaustion, but his mind drifted off whether Jimin would be able to escape those people, or his fans.
"Appa, where's hyung? Isn't this his car?" Jikook asked him, his eyes staring at the window for signs of Jimin.
"Hyung said he has to go to the comfort room, you know for a wee." Jungkook answered, throwing on a joke to lighten up the mood, but still his mind was worried whether Jimin could be stuck in the terrible swarm of people. If he ever does, he'll have a hard time getting out of it, and it's going to be tiring with all the pushing and things people will do to get close to him.
Jikook cackled, hyung couldn't hold it until they're home.
Then, silence overtook them, the father and son sat there while waiting for Jimin to come. Jungkook was like clock, ticking every seconds passing that Jimin wasn't there. There's three minutes left before ten minutes have passed, and Jimin still wasn't there.
Two minutes and he still felt tensed, he wanted to go to the comfort room to pee as well, but he had to hold it in.
A minute left, and Jungkook was about to stand up and go over to the driver's seat when upon opening the door out, Jimin was knocking silently across him. He plopped back to his seat and opened the door for Jimin. The older hurriedly sat down and close the door behind him. He was sweating and raggedly breathing, like how they were when they've entered the car. But damn, Jimin looked so handsome, and the sound of his chest heaving up and down as he breathed, was so damn sinful, that Jungkook had to close his eyes in contempt.
"I thought you weren't going to come,"
"I almost couldn't, luckily there was a fan who made a commotion about tampering with my privacy and everybody went to support her, opposing the idea of me being mobbed. I also asked one of the staff if I could use an emergency exit near here, and thank god there was." Jimin breathed, then turned to Jungkook with pure apologetic look. "I'm sorry,"
"Huh? What for?" Jungkook looked at him appalled, because what was he apologizing for?
"This was supposed to be our day out, a fun and relaxing day for the three of us, but then now its cut short and ruined because the fans mobbed us. I'm sorry, it was a bad idea-"
Jungkook held his finger against Jimin's lips to shush him, "Don't apologize. This isn't your fault. You wouldn't have predicted whether the fans will mob you where, or when. It's not your fault. You also wanted privacy you didn't want what happened. And you didn't ruin the day, me and Jikook had heaps of fun, the paintings were such a privilege to look at. Right, Jikook?"
"Yep! They were too pretty, hyung! My eyes are sparkly, thank you so much,"
"You need to stop getting ahead of our opinions, need to stop getting ahead how we would react. Because you won't be certain it's the whole truth, not unless it's there."
Jimin had wondered if there was a double meaning behind what he said, but he didn't want to delve into it. He smiled though, genuinely, relief flooding his system at the fact that his love and his son enjoyed the day he had planned.
They decided to call it a day, and Jimin drove off back to Jungkook's home. Jungkook invited Jimin for some food, early dinner perhaps, and Jimin didn't decline, he wouldn't even miss it anyway. And they spent the time remaining before the day ends, and when night time struck, Jimin had to leave.
Or else, he'll face confrontations with the members and he didn't want him to be apple of their eyes.
"Jimin-ah," Jungkook called him before he leaves, "you can visit any time, if you want to, Jikook loves it when you're here. I've never seen him this ecstatic and happy unless he's with you."
"Really?" Jimin questioned, not entirely convinced Jungkook was allowing him.
"Yeah, but tell me before hand,"
"Thank you! Thank you so much!" He hugged him, another stolen moment and in the midst of hugging, "I'll come here every time I can, I promise. Thank you so much,"
And Jungkook just smiled at that, not even had the capability to detest to it. It was his offer anyway. And it was the truth, one thing he had observed the whole day was how lively and ecstatic Jikook was, he seemed so bright around Jimin, speaking often and even tagged team with Jimin against him. Jimin's good for Jikook, he can't deny that.
"Good bye, kookie-ah, say good bye to Jikook for me too," He left with a smile so wide, even turning back a few times to see if Jungkook was looking at him and waved back.
As soon as he enters his home back, he had concluded Jimin's bad for his heart. It's irregularly beating and fuck! No, he forgot to question him about the revelation, he had heard. Jimin didn't really leave him because he had somebody else! Then, why? Why would he leave him if that's not the case? So what was that?
It got rid off his mind, with the unexpected mob and the escapade back home.
Damn, they both have to sit down and talk about this because Jungkook needs to know the truth, one way or the other.