17th February 1990
Rosie's POV
My shivering frame jerks and twitches despite the effort to ignore the nagging urges to be sick. My stomach churns and twists with sensitivity, the lumps slowly creeping up. Desperately, my hand rubs soothing circles in my abdomen, hoping it will help the uneasy feeling disappear. "Hey, you alright babe? you don't look so good" I breathe deep for a moment, my dry cracked lips smacking together. I blow a blast of cool air onto my clammy hot face which is shimmering with sweat "Uhm". "Babe?" My tongue tries to get the words out but the lumps force their way to the back of my mouth "Ughh". I clamp my hand round my mouth and clamber over his lap, heading up the aisle "Rosie?!?". I make it to the bathroom door on the plane, attempting to swing the door open but it's locked. My fist pounds on the door until it swings open and Dave hovers in front of me "Rosie you okay?". "Unghh" I force myself through the tiny gap and stumble to my knees. I wretch and hurl the lumps into the empty toilet, my hand still clutching my stomach for dear life. "Jon!!" Dave shouts for Jon who is still sitting in his seat chatting to Richie "What is it?". There's a short pause before I feel a warm hand caress the length of my back ", You okay babe?". Gasp, It stops for a moment before more lumps come pouring from my lips "It's okay just let it all out". Jon is the type of person who loves to look after people, he's so loving and caring to the people he loves. I come to an abrupt stop, puffing and panting into his fluffy warm chest "Probably... just... Travel sickness". I scold myself for lying, knowing fine well it isn't travel sickness. The last thing I want to do is tell him the truth right now, after all, I've not long been back.
. . .
A few hours have passed and we've just pulled up to the place they're going to do the show. "We're gonna have to take you around the back" Jon ruffles his brows together with confusion as he leans forward "Why not just get out here?". The driver scoffs in amazement and glances over his shoulder at him "By all means, if you wanna get mobbed...". "Mobbed?" He launches himself over Richie's lap and peers out the window "HOLY SHIT!!". "Yeah, I was scared to tell ya kid" Jon slumps back in his seat and combs his hand through his unruly mane "How we gonna get back out?". "I'm sure Doc will think of something Jon" I sneakily roll my eyes at Richie's choice of words. How they can all put their faith in Doc is beyond me. He has worked them all dry to the point of exhaustion and they'll keep working because they don't want to let anyone down.
A long while later, the door blasts open and they all strut in, giggling and cackling amongst themselves. "Was it a good one guys?" Richie nods excitedly and the others join in, each of them showing enthusiasm "It was great...". "Yeah... guys can we go home yet?!" Alec huffs out and drops into the seat "Cmon Alec lighten up a little". Jon plants himself right next to me on the sofa, draping his arm over my shoulder. "Beer Jon? Rosie?" Richie holds out a bottle each for us with a wide smile "Gimme that". Jon yanks them out of his hand and cracks them open "Here babe". "Oh... no thanks.. I'll just have water" He scoffs in amazement and ruffles his brows together "Since when do you pass up a beer?". "Since now... I just... don't want a beer okay?" He raises his hands in defence and guzzles some of the beer down "Okay okay... don't throw a fit honey".
A flick of a small flame catches my attention when Richie, Alec, and T all light up a cigarette each. I puff and pant under my breath, trying to hold my breath so I don't breathe in the smoke. "Hey... pass me a ciggy Rich" Richie tosses a cigarette right into Jon's palm and he immediately lights it up. "Uhm... I need the bathroom". Before anyone has a chance to stop me... I sprint into the bathroom and lock the door so no one can come in. For the first time in a month, I have some time to myself, away from them. I release a sigh of relief into the air as my head tips back.
*BANG BANG* "Babe can I come in for a sec?" I huff out a sigh and hesitantly unlock the door, letting him stroll in. For some reason, I turn away and face the mirror. I can't seem to look him in the eyes because If I do, I know I'll end up telling him my secret. "Hmm... baby... what's up? you've been actin weird" He circles his strong arms around my waist and nuzzles his chin into the crook of my neck "Just... want the tour to be over Jon... tired". "Are you sure that's all it is?... there's nothin else buggin ya?" My breath catches in my throat when he nibbles on my sweet spot "Uhm... what?". My mind is wiped blank as he continues to distract me from my thoughts. "So stiff baby... you need to relax" I exhale a breath of air when he shuffles my shirt off my shoulders, leaving them bare. His soft, warm hands clamp over my shoulders and start massaging them gently "You like that baby?". My lips smack together, searching for any words I can offer.
*BANG BANG BANG* I whine at the loss of his warmth when he pulls away "Sorry babe, maybe later". I sigh deeply, the first intimate touch we've shared in over a week, and even that was cut short "Always later". There's a short silence while he plants a loving kiss on my neck "You know who you married babe". "JON... YOU NEED TO HEAR THIS SHIT!!" Upon hearing Dave's raised voice, we both scurry out the bathroom "What's goin on?". "Jon... There's a concern for the band's safety... we can't let you leave then come back... there's too much risk... either we do the show tonight and we cancel tomorrows show... do it at a later date maybe? or do both shows today" I can see his weary heart plummet to its death after hearing Doc's news. His mind is racing with so many thoughts. I know he genuinely won't want to come back later but the thought of two shows in one day will kill them. If they aren't already tired enough, just make them do two shows a night to kill them off. The room chills with an eerie silence, all of their eyes fixed on Jon. "I'll just tell them to cancel" He spins on his heels and heads back to the door "Wait!!". I can't believe he's doing this. "Bon Jovi doesn't cancel... we do it for the kids... we'll do both tonight" He turns to face the guys and they all look like they've seen a ghost "For the kids?". "For the kids" They all come to a realization and nod in agreement.
"Jon... you can't do this baby... you're already so tired... I mean... have you even seen yourself?" He shrugs his shoulders and sighs deeply "Bon Jovi don't cancel". "Baby please... you know I keep my mouth shut, I don't ever get involved but I'm always here for you.... but... you're all already hanging by a string... this will push you all over the edge... you have to trust me Jon" He's silent for a moment, the wheels turning in his mind while he thinks "I don't wanna let anyone down". "I can't believe you... Jon... I told you... don't put your faith in them but you do... every single time you do" His nostrils flare with a sharp sigh, his eyes widening with anger "Oh, you mean that vague goodbye message? yeah, that cleared up a lot of shit babe... thanks a lot". "You ungrateful bastard... I already told you too much by telling you that!!" He scoffs and rolls his eyes like car wheels which urges my anger on "Sure... whatever.... look you're not gonna tell me what to do.... you may be my wife but you ain't gonna tell me shit about how to do my job!!". Out of pure rage and anger, my hand launches at his face, connecting with his cheek. He gasps in shock and clutches his rosy cheek, his lips searching for the right words to say. My heart cracks right down the middle when I see the heartbroken look on his face. I sigh deeply and head over to the door, grabbing the handle. "You still my girl?" His voice is breathy and so full of shock "Always".
I'm currently sitting in the hallway with a bunch of other people, waiting for the guys to lifelessly wander past. My mind has been replaying the slap on a loop since I left and I feel so awful for it. The look on his face is enough to make my heart sore with grief. I'm torn from my thoughts when I hear the rabble enter from the other side of the hall but I can't bring myself to look, knowing he's going to be at the front. The cluster of footsteps grows louder and louder, acting as a reminder of what I have to face. My eyes are fixated on my lap when a hand comes swooping in, hovering in front of my face. Hesitantly, I lift my head to see Jon holding his hand out to me. My god, does he look gorgeous in his stage getup. He's wearing his leather jacket, jeans, and sunglasses. Without even thinking, my hand slides inside his, allowing me to enjoy his warmth. "You comin up to watch the show babe?" My heart swells at his luscious voice, I could listen to him all day "Yeah". I watch as he nods and heads out the door, followed closely by a cameraman, Richie, Dave, T, and Al.
A good 10 minutes into the show, I head up to the side of the stage to see them just finishing 'I'd die for you'. They jump straight into 'Wild in the streets' ripping up the stage with their presence. Jon grabs the mic and takes off along the stage, flicking his fluffy mane and jaunting his hips. When he's backstage, he looks so exhausted but as soon as he's on stage, it's as if his exhaustion is of no matter anymore. The fans jump and squeal with excitement, wishing they could reach out and touch him. He gets so lost in the moment that whatever is going on in his life seems to drift to the back of his mind until later.
"All you have to do... is call my name.... and I'll be there for you" Richie and Jon start the song with the usual plucking of the strings on their guitars. If there's one song that gets me every time, it's this song, knowing he wrote it for me. "I guess this time you're really leavin..... I heard your suitcase say goodbye" The audience falls completely silent when he starts singing, only the wind whistling can be heard.
"Didn't mean to miss your birthday baby..... Wish I'd seen you blow those candles out........" There's a short pause and everything falls silent. It feels as though the wind has stopped moving, like time itself has frozen. He grabs onto the mic and a heart-wrenching, husky yell erupts from his lungs. The audience goes wild, especially the women, crying and screaming at his very presence.
Just before the show ended, I started getting a headache so I've made my way backstage to have a little nap. I curl up on the sofa into the fetal position on my side, getting as comfortable as possible. I've felt a strong need to protect my stomach lately, knowing I'm very early on. I'm just starting to drift off when the rabble blunder through the door. My eyes stay closed, so they think I'm still asleep. The laughing silences as they shuffle further into the room "Look who's flat out Jon". I coo and nuzzle my head deeper into the pillow when a warmth caresses my cheek "Yeah... she's been really tired lately". "Should we wake her up? for the next show?" There's a momentary silence, just the sound of Jon's steady breathing can be heard "Nah... gonna just let her sleep". "Well at least someone's sleeping around here.... coz we sure as hell don't get any" Jon snickers at Richie while he continues to stroke my cheek "I don't care what I go through... as long as she's happy, warm, and comfortable... I'd go through it all 100 times over... for her". "Bet she'd love to hear ya say that Jon" He laughs silently while he traces the outline of my lips "She knows Rich and she knows I'm not a big talker...".
. . .
"It's all the same... Only the names will change" My heart thumps hard inside my chest when I hear his velvety voice sing the opening lyrics. "Every day... it seems we're wasting away" If only he knew that this will be the last time they play together for a while. The fact I can't tell him is so heartbreaking but I know it would hurt him if I did. He continues through the song, putting so much soul and effort into it. His fingers pluck the strings of the guitar, giving him a tune to sing to. He's still wearing his leather jacket and pants but this time he's wearing a top hat to top it off. Richie is also wearing his signature hat while the others are in their usual getup. Even though they're putting on a good performance, you can see how exhausted they are. Jon's eyes are puffy and bloodshot red and I'm sure the alcohol is helping with dulling the pain. He told Doc he'd do both shows on the condition that he could have a minibar on the stage so the band could drink in between songs. Don't get me wrong, they've certainly had their fun, laughing, drinking, and playing guitar backstage but deep down they long for the tour to be over.
After a heartfelt speech, they are exit the stage one by one, a realization hitting them as they step over the threshold. They each have a hint of relief in their eyes as they make their way to the showers. I hover behind, wanting to give them as much space as I can.
The minutes have ticked by and I'm now sitting in the hallway waiting patiently for Jon to come out of the dressing room. Just to distract me from the boredom, I unconsciously rub my stomach, the thought that something is growing inside is unbelievable yet scary all at the same time. A door clicks at the end of the hallway followed by the thudding of footsteps growing louder. "Babe... let's go" I nearly jump out of my skin and look up to see Jon holding his hand out for me "Where are we going?". He remains silent and continues to hold his hand out for me, prompting me to slide my hand into his. He wastes no time in taking off down the hallway, not even bothering to take a second glance back "Where are the guys?". I await a response but get nothing from him. I glance over my shoulder to see Richie making his way down "Richie!!". I huff out a sigh when he doesn't respond, like Jon he remains silent with a tired look in his eyes. "He's not coming with us babe" I look back at Jon, my expression is one of concern and confusion "What do you mean?".
What feels like an eternity later, we're sitting on the plane heading to destination unknown in complete silence. I'm curled up into his chest while he gazes out the window at the passing clouds. "Jon?" He sighs deeply and hums in response "Where are we going?". "We're going home baby... It's all over... it's finished... we're finally going home" I lift my head and look him deep in the eyes, searching them to see what's there "And how do you feel about that Jon?". He swipes my cheek and shakes his head at me "Please... just let me hold you... I just wanna". I bite my lip and look away, thinking whether this is the right time to tell him or should I wait "Jon, I know you don't wanna talk but... I have something to tell you". "What is it?... is this where you tell me you wanna divorce?" A sweet giggle bursts from my lips as I shake my head at him "No silly!! ... I Uhm... well..... I'm pregnant". He gulps down hard and searches my eyes for a moment "Are you sure?". "Yes... I took 2 tests last week and I've been sick a few times too" He goes to speak when a realization hits him "Wait... you've known for a week?". "Yeah... I'm so sorry I didn't tell you sooner... you guys were just so tired and stressed and I was scared it would just add to it" He cups my cheeks softly while he plants a delicate kiss on my lips "You are the most important thing to me.... family... don't doubt it for a second babe... I know I don't say it a lot... but it's true... I love you so much..... and I'm so happy... Really". He pulls me into his embrace and holds me as we gaze out the window together, just enjoying the bliss.
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Next episode will be up after Christmas. . .
Keep reading to see how Jon copes with life when he's not on tour with his band and how Rosie is coping with pregnancy.