They had spent the whole night showing one another how much they had missed each other. Part of it had been passionate and fiery, part of it hard and desperate, sometimes even needy, but it had always remained loving and tender.
Eventually, in the early morning hours, they drifted happily and exhausted into deep sleep, their bodies entwined in a tight embrace, their peaceful breathing echoing as one through the silence of the night.
---
When Lindsey woke up the next morning, he found Stevie to be already awake. An unusual thing to happen. She lay on her back, her eyes looking up at the white ceiling of the room. He had no idea, if she had already sensed that he had woken up, so he remained silent for a while and studied her face.
Stevie had always had sad eyes, but they had always been sad in a sort of loving way, like a child's eyes when a beloved pet has passed on.
Sad, yes, but always with the basic understanding that everything was fine, that events had happened because they were supposed to.
Now, however, they were just sad. They stared blankly out upon the world without really seeing anything... least of all him.
"I don't wanna do a goodbye.", she said out of the blue, her eyes still not meeting his.
"Yes, you do."
"No, I don't.."
"Remember, it'll be one long year until we meet like this again..", he said softly and stroked lovingly over her bare shoulder, down her arm.
"I hate doing goodbyes..", she suddenly cried and her eyes filled with tears.
"I know..", he said sadly and wrapped his arms around her soft body, holding her in a tight embrace.
She turned toward him, and for a while, she clung to him like a little girl, her tears wet his chest, and he felt her body lightly shaking with every single sob.
Oh, how much it hurt him so see her like that and he wanted nothing but tell her that he loved her, had always loved her, still loved her, but those words would make her jump up and leave immediately - he knew by experience.
So he just pulled her closer into his arms, rubbed lovingly her bare arms and placed kisses all over her hair.
Eventually, her breathing went back to normal, her tears had dried on her face as she looked up at him, so vulnerable it almost broke him.
"I wanna do a goodbye.", she said, it was barely a whisper.
"You sure?", he asked softly and ran his thumb over her cheeks.
She nodded.
"I need to feel you one more time before we leave again."
It seemed to him as if with time it had gotten worse and worse for them to separate after they had spent their night together.
He didn't know if it had something to do with both of them getting older and more emotional or if their subconscious mind was slowly realizing that they were running out of time. Time, they had been supposed to spend together, not separated.
"Okay.", he smiled sadly at her.
"But Linds?"
"Steph?"
"I need you to be gentle.", she said and her voice sounded so fragile that he couldn't even remember the last time he had heard her speaking like this.
"Of course.", he assured her and placed a kiss on her forehead.
They looked in each other eyes for a few seconds, making sure that both of them really wanted it, then he lowered his head and kissed her lips. She responded instantly to his touch, pulling him closer to her, her mouth eagerly returning tender kisses.
Slowly, he climbed on top of her and his hands travelled lovingly all over her body.
She looked up at him again, right into his crystal blue eyes, and the feeling of drunken butterflies tumbling through her stomach overwhelmed her. This all felt like as if she was catapultated right back into her teenage years. Nothing had changed. It was the feeling she got every single time when he touched her or only looked at her, when she heard his voice, saw his smile... It was all still the same. After all these years, nothing had changed. She swallowed hard and tried not to cry again but as she smiled sadly up at him, he saw it though.
"Steph... Angel.. what's wrong?", he asked worringly.
"Nothing.", she said and caressed his cheeks with her fingers. She wanted to remember his beautiful face looking down at her like that, before they had to part again, "I... Just go on.."
He lowered his head again and his lips met hers, softly kissing her, his tongue flirting across her bottom lip.
"Are you sure?", he whispered after backing off a little.
"Yes.. I .. am..", she sighed.
He nodded reluctantly, still not really believing her words but knowing that she wasn't going to tell him anyway.
His tongue entered her mouth, giving and taking, slowly playing with hers, taking his time, while his hands started moving up and down her sides again.
She moaned lightly into his mouth, when one of his hands touched her breasts, and he let his thumb lightly circle around it.
His lips travelled lower, leaving open, wet kisses on her neck, collarbone and her breasts. Her hands made their way into his hair and she caressed tenderly his head.
When he moved up to find her pouty lips again, she felt his heated length sliding over her thigh and aligning with the warm wetness between her legs, while his nose bumbed into hers affectionately.
"You're okay?", he asked and the love and concern she saw in his eyes was almost killing her.
"Mmmm.. Linds..", she nodded and smiled up at him.
Then, he entered her, sliding and thrusting in and out of her ever so gently, while covering her cleavage with soft kisses, that she gasped in response. He was so careful with her that she couldn't believe it, considering how wild and fiery their love-making had been during the night.
It was so astoundingly beautiful, so absurdly wonderful, that she started to cry.
He noticed and kissed the trails of tears, knowing exactly why she was crying. It was their goodbye.
Lindsey pushed a bit harder, causing her to gasp again, and she ran her fingers up and down his sides, feeling him, taking him all in.
The sun came up at some point. And she was only aware of it because of how his grey curls glinted in the fresh sunlight, how suddenly the shadows of his body became clearer, how she could see every delicious twist of his face.
No words were spoken. Nothing conversational or erotic or confessional. None of that was necessary now. This wasn't about dirty fucking anymore, or merely getting off. It was about telling each other goodbye in the most beautiful way without using words. It was about reassuring each other that there was still the bittersweet love that had surrounded them throughout so many years.
It was enough to feel every silky slide of their stomachs against one another, every breathtaking pulse of him inside of her, every meeting of their lips and the frantic tug of their tongues.
As the passion grew, their bodies became more frantic. Lindsey's motions were faster now, and her moans turned to whimpers. His mouth possessed her breast, whispering secrets to it while his tongue coated her nipple in deliciously wet circles.
He felt the familiar first signs of her slowly growing orgasm, how her inside started to tighten up around him more and more with every single thrust he made, and he lifted up his head and smiled softly down at Stevie. His lips were wet and his hair was every which way, completely messed up from her fingers that had run through them during the past fourteen hours.
He kissed her deeply, murmuring something into her mouth, she couldn't really understand and then suddenly she held onto him, her nails digging into the flesh of his sides, pulling and tearing, as everything inside of her seized and released.
A whole year of loneliness, of fear, of pain, of a broken heart, surged out of her body and into the atmosphere between them.
Lindsey looked sweetly at her, meeting her bruised lips in another kiss, again fighting the desperate urge to tell her how much he loved her, while her whole body was shaking in lust and pure pleasure underneath him.
The view of her flushed, sweaty face in front of him, the sound of her moaning, the feeling of her inside getting tighter and tighter, overwhelmed him and caused him to climax himself, pressing deeply inside of her, so he touched her cervix, causing her to whimper in pain and pleasure. Stevie detailed every single twitch of his face as he emptied himself inside of her, heavily trembling in ecstasy, and she pulled him closer, embracing his exhausted, hot and sweaty body.
She left a flow of soft kisses on his head after he had collapsed on top of her chest.
"Thank you..", she whispered into his ear.
He squeezed her hand in response to let her know that he had heard what she had said.
---
They lay for another couple of hours in bed, drifting in and out of sleep, knowing that their flights were only in the early evening and there was still time for them to relish in each other's arms.
Lindsey held her close when she eventually lifted up her head, turned toward him and watched him closely.
"Why do we keep doing this?!", she asked suddenly.
"What do you mean?", he repeated slightly confused.
"I mean.. It hurts.. It hurts every single time we leave this room and see each other.. and I ask myself.. Well... do you even want to keep doing this?"
"Of course, Steph!"
"But why?"
"You know why.."
"Why, Lindsey? Tell me why! You've got a beautiful wife who's 21 years younger than me. What do you want from me? I'm old!"
"You're beautiful."
"I'm old."
"Do you actually think I'd be here every fucking year, if I wasn't as crazy about you as I always have been?!"
"Lindsey..."
"No.. Don't Lindsey me! You really wanna know why we're still coming here every year?"
"Yes, I do.", she bit nervously her lower lip, "I wanna know."
"Because that's the only day we allow each other to show one another how much we lov-"
"Don't you fucking dare to say the L-word!", she tried to cut him off but he didn't let her.
"How much we love each other, Stevie!"
"I told you not to.. We agreed... Lindsey!", Stevie pleaded and once again tears were forming in her big, brown eyes.
"Be honest to yourself, you wanted to hear it! And I'm so tired of not saying it. I love you, Stevie. I feel it every second I spend with you. Gosh, I feel it every second I'm not with you. I always feel it. It's been eating me up for decades!"
"Lindsey.. Don't do this.. It's only getting worse..", she was crying now.
"Look me in the eyes and tell me you don't love me, Stephanie! Can you do that? No, you can't! Because I see it in your eyes. I see it every single time you look at me. You still love me."
-----------------------------------
Are you even enjoying this story? I'm not so sure, there is not so much feedback...
Just tell me and I'll try coming up with something else..
Much love, Lara