✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*
Genevieve had never wished for the Christmas holidays to arrive sooner. They were a week away, but she had a feeling that the next week would be slow and dreary. Well, that's how all the other weeks had felt recently to her anyway.
She had started sitting back at the Gryffindor table despite the fact that Remus moved away whenever she sat near any of the boys. Genevieve had tried to stop him the first few times, but he had ignored her like she wasn't even there and left anyway. After she had gotten used to it, she made no move to stop him anymore. James, Sirius and Peter were her friends too, not just his, and Genevieve was sick of not sitting with them just because Remus wanted to.
She sat with Lily and Marlene the morning after the Hogsmeade visit, but she wished she had sat with the boys instead due to an aggravated Lily.
"— And I mean, he can go out with whoever he likes, I have no problem with that whatsoever. He's his own person," she paused her rant to take in a breath, "But one moment he's in love with me and the next he's not. He's sending me serious mixed signals and it's making me mad."
Marlene raised an eyebrow. "And you don't?" countered she. "Send mixed signals, I mean."
"No, I've made my feelings for Potter very clear and he knows where I lie on the spectrum with him. Its just all a little confusing to me," Lily said and ran a hand through her ginger hair frustratedly.
Genevieve gaped at her in disbelief, before letting out a curt laugh. "Merlin, you're so hypocritical!"
"Excuse me?"
"So you're mad that James went out with another girl after you've been rejecting him all this time?" Genevieve observed, an eyebrow raised and her arms crossed.
Although it was a rhetorical question, Lily felt the need to attempt to answer. "That's not— What I mean to say is..." she started, but found herself trailing off because not even she could pile together an argument.
Marlene snorted, cutting a part of her syrup drenched pancake and shovelling it into her mouth. "See," she said with a mouthful and pointed her fork at Lily, "There's the mixed signals."
"You're going to have to realise that one day James won't chase you around anymore, Lily. He'll give up, and then you'll be jealous of the next girl he decides to give all of his attention to because," remarked Genevieve, her voice growing increasingly stern.
"That's not true," Lily mumbled, her eyebrows furrowing. "I would be much happier if he focused on another girl."
Genevieve glanced at Marlene, her eyes glistening with amazement. She had never met someone as persistent as Lily, neither of them had, and it astounded them how thoroughly she would carry out this act.
"No? Ok, then," Genevieve shrugged and rose from the bench.
With a sense of urgency, Lily grabbed ahold of Genevieve's arm. "What are you doing?" she demanded.
"I'm off to go tell James that you told him to piss off once and for all."
Marlene nodded in agreement and hummed. "Finally! It'll put the poor boy out of his misery," she commented.
Genevieve attempted to turn and walk towards where James was sitting, but Lily tightened her grip around her lower arm and dragged her back firmly. With pleading eyes, she stared up at Genevieve. "Don't," she begged, "Please don't." The desperation in her tone made Genevieve raise an eyebrow.
If Genevieve had known that the thought of a James moving on triggered something inside of Lily a lot more earlier throughout her years in school, then she would have definitely said something about it already. It had taken six years to see some kind of affection directed towards James from Lily. Genevieve had to muster up all the effort she had inside of her to keep her lips from curving upwards into the most joyful smile on earth. She sat back down on the bench and looked at Lily expectantly.
"What?" The redhead said, dumbstruck. "Am I supposed to say something?"
"Uh, yeah," Marlene vocalised, "Maybe explain to us why you were about to beg Genevieve not to go over to James. I'm sure that would be an interesting story." She raised her fork and shovelled another forkful of pancakes into her mouth.
Defeatedly, Lily sighed and ran her hand through her hair again. "I've been wrong about him, ok? He's different this year."
Marlene frowned. "I don't see any difference. He's the exact same."
"Maybe you're the one whose changed, not him," Genevieve pointed out.
Lily shook her head in disagreement. "No, it's definitely him." Her eyebrows drew together into a line. "Well, I hope it's him and not me."
Genevieve and Marlene stopped pestering Lily on the subject. They felt like they had hammered the nail into her head enough. And they had, because for the rest of the day, Lily had gone around avoiding James not out of annoyance, but because she felt guilty.
✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*
The boys dormitory was still as comforting as ever. It smelt revolting, which definitely took some comfort out of the scenario, but it was still comforting to see the familiar mess of the room (besides Remus's side, which was still as organised as ever). Peter had practically forced Genevieve to go to their room that night after informing her that Remus was doing his prefect rounds. He was still ignoring her. She accepted of course, having not spent any time with them for a while.
Genevieve didn't sit on Remus's bed like she usually would, which was a shame because she loved the smell of coffee and chocolate that lingered in his pillows and blankets. Instead, she was sat next to James in his bed because she felt like it was the safest option out of the three remaining beds. Peter's bed was ridden with all types of food stains and crumbs, and she didn't even want to think about the things that had happened in Sirius's bed. With her back rested up against his headboard, she realised that James's bed wasn't as bad as she thought.
After a long and lengthy conversation about which Bertie Bott's Every Flavour Bean was the worst flavour to be given (it was a swift tie between Vomit and Rotten Egg), Sirius had grinned at Genevieve and Peter. "I know something you two don't," he sang tauntingly.
"Oh yeah?" Peter said. He raised his eyes from the Chocolate Frog cards he was arranging. "Well, I don't know about Gen, but I want to know what that is."
Genevieve nodded at Peter. "I do agree with you, Peter. I'm feeling a little left out on this secret, aren't you?"
"Very," Peter agreed. With his best puppy dog eyes, he beamed at Sirius and James with as much persuasive innocence as he could muster. "Please tell us," he begged.
James pushed his glasses up his face and let a grin pull at his lips. "My mum owled me today."
Genevieve looked at James weirdly, then at Peter, and then back to James. "She sends you a letter everyday, James, " she pointed out.
"Yes, but today the letter I received was a very special letter," James retorted.
"And why is that?"
Delight flickered in James's eyes. He loved creating anticipation before he announced anything big. The wait, and the build-up was always worth it to him, as the tension leading up to the big moment always created excitement. He shrugged, "Oh, it's nothing."
Genevieve rolled her eyes. "Don't be a tease, Prongs, you know it's not nice."
James smiled. "For Christmas, I have been granted permission to invite my friends over for the holidays," he announced.
An overwhelming surge of joy took over Genevieve's body as she wrapped her arms around him. They had all been planning to spend Christmas with each other since the first year, and those plans were finally falling through. "This is brilliant!" She exclaimed.
Genevieve stayed over for a while longer, letting out the newly found excitement with mindless rambling and wholehearted smiles. That was until Peter said solemnly, "Remus should be back any minute now."
A wave of melancholy took over Genevieve, her elated smile slowly wiping itself clear of her face. Being in that room, with the boys who had she had grown up with and became best friends with, was so refreshing to her. It reminded her just how much she missed them. But then realisation took over her, and she felt the same sadness that had plagued her for the past few weeks slip back into her. Genevieve nodded. "Right," she said and began walking towards the door.
"He'll come around soon," Sirius attempted, "Just give him some time."
Genevieve smiled, but it was weak and filled with disappointment. "I've given him time, Padfoot. It's just a matter of stubbornness now." She reached for the door knob and turned to face them.
"Oh, he'll come around. And if he doesn't then we'll make him," James stated plainly, as if there wasn't any doubt about it.
"I hope so," she agreed. "I'll see you all later, then." She kept her face turned to them as she opened the door, and when it was clicked shut behind her, she finally turned around.
Genevieve didn't expect to be standing face to face with Remus as she exited the room, his brown eyes staring so deeply into her green ones, almost as if they were searching for something. They were close, possibly closer than they had ever been in their entire life. With their breaths held and their eyes unblinking, they stood in a heavy silence.
Up close, both of them could see just how much of a toll their distance had taken on them. Both of them had identical dark bags hanging under their sunken eyes, and the way the held themselves was a lot less purposeful. Remus had always had terribly bad posture, but he was close to becoming a hunchback at this point, and Genevieve's hair had always been an untamed mess, but it was sticking up in all directions possible and made her look positively wild.
They had both wanted to say a thousand words to each other over the past few weeks of not talking, but now that they were alone in the dimly lit corridor, there was a depressive absence of speech. Genevieve looked down at the floor, breaking the intense eye contact first. With as much steadiness as possible, she stepped backwards to create some space between them, her back hitting the door of the boys dormitory. She cursed herself mentally for trapping herself.
"Genevieve," Remus said awkwardly with a nod. It felt weird to greet her like this. It was foreign, and strange, and he hated it.
Genevieve crossed her arms in front of her protectively. "Remus. Hi."
The world went eerily still again. Remus dug his hands into his trouser pockets awkwardly. Out of habit, Genevieve felt the urge to play with the necklace around her neck, but then she remembered that it was a present from Remus and decided not to.
Remus gestured to the door behind her. "Could I please—"
"Oh, I'm in your way, aren't I?" Genevieve said and laughed stupidly to herself. She moved to the side of the door. "I'll uh— see you, I guess."
"Yeah," Remus agreed almost breathlessly, and maybe that was because he was actually holding his breath. As he wrapped his hand around the door knob, and as Genevieve began making her way down the corridor, Remus felt his something tug on the inside of his stomach. He spun on his heal to face her retreating body. "Genevieve!" He called out without thinking.
Genevieve turned to look at him almost as quickly, her eyes watching him expectantly. "Yes?"
Remus swallowed. He hadn't thought about saying her name whatsoever, yet her name rolled off her tongue so easily. If he hadn't thought about saying her name, then how on earth was he supposed to know what to say next? "Nothing," he said, watching as the hopeful gleam in her eyes disappeared.
"Remus," Genevieve said before he could go back into the room. "I really am sorry. Really. I'm not sure how many more times I need to say I'm sorry in order for you to believe me."
"I believed you the first time you said it."
"And do you forgive me?" she asked.
"No," he responded. "I don't think I ever will. Not because you broke the promise, but because you did something so stupid to put yourself in danger. Do you know the amount of things that can go wrong in the process of turning yourself into an Animagus?"
"Yes."
Remus didn't know what else to say, so he dug his hands even further into the pockets of his trousers. Genevieve ran a hand through her hair irritably and let out a long sigh. "You can't hate me forever—"
"I don't hate you."
"Well, you can't not like me forever—"
"I could never hate you," Remus carried on earnestly, a straight face painting itself over his features. "Not now, not ever." He stared down at the floor and licked at his lips, suddenly aware of how dry they had become.
Genevieve yearned to reach out and bring him into a warm embrace, purely because she craved the comfort that he could bring from just one touch. But she couldn't. Why was it that the one person who could provide her with the most wholesome, unearthly amount of serenity was the same person who felt a million miles away despite him standing five steps away?
"Goodnight, Genevieve," Remus said quietly before opening the door to the room and shutting it behind him with a sharp click.
Genevieve stared at the door for a moment, trying to make sense of the guy-wrenching conversation she had just had. "Goodnight, Remus."
✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*