Brielle
This isn't healthy at all, Chris and I argue everyday it's getting heavier now. Being here I been able to deal with his presence, but it's more than that. Last night we spent hours yelling and I mean yelling, something about the fact that I been spending more time at Ryan's house than here and he tried to accuse me of fucking Ryan while I was with him, so I slapped him. I went back and forth to him about those bitches he fucked and he carried on about Ryan, he had the nerve to call me out my name.
Chris walked out of my face, "Someone tell me why am I dealing with this fucking crazy bitch?"
"A bitch? I'm a bitch now? Fuck you!"
"Fuck me? Fuck you too! I'm done trying with you, fuck this I could be somewhere else fucking whoever I damn well please I don't need this shit."
I stormed up to him pushing him, "Finally the real damn truth comes out! Then go I don't give a fuck. You have no problems already fucking something with a pulse, bring the bitch over her fuck her in our bed. You don't have to hide it anymore Chris throw that shit in my face why don't you! Maybe I should fuck Ryan so you know how it feels to go through how I been feeling for the last 3 in a half months, maybe seeing me with another nigga will make you realize what the fuck you put me through."
He grabbed my wrist. "I swear to god if you do don't bring your ass back here, don't be fucking stupid!"
My eyes swelled up. "It's only okay for you though right? But you feel it now? Doesn't feel good does it? Makes you angry right? That's what I thought, move out my way." I said going outside.
I took a long walk around the corner but I wasn't done ranting, I wanted needed a pen and paper but my mind wasn't clear it write to I took to Twitter.
TheOfficialBrielle - When I Try To Walk Away You'd Hurt Yourself To Make Me Stay . 10 seconds ago | 10:01 pm 01.28.13
TheOfficialBrielle - As Painful As This Thing Has Been, I Just Can't Be With No Else . 2 seconds ago | 10:02 pm 01.28.13
TheOfficialBrielle - I Know What We've Got To Do, You Let Go and I'll Let Go Too . 2 seconds ago | 10:02 pm 01.28.13
As I was getting into the next verse of the song tears starting hitting my screen, I took a breather trying to suck it back in.
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TheOfficialBrielle - Cause No Ones Hurt Me More Than You, and No One Ever Will . 1 second ago | 10:03 pm 01.28.13
I closed my eyes as I pressed my hands to my face, after a while I felt Chris pulling me towards him leaning me onto his chest as he wrapped his arms around me. He didn't say anything for the first couple of minutes but he kissed my temple and rubbed the side of my arm.
"Ex - Factor huh? Look, we have to stop doing this to each other. We always go at it till one of us says something that hits below the belt, how are we going to leave this in the past if we stay bringing it up?"
"You should be asking yourself that."
"It's obviously we move 8 steps forward just to move 7 back."
"I don't want this to happen anymore, the disrespect, the fighting, the yelling all has to stop tonight."
He sighed. "I'll give you your space, I won't pressure you or anything else about this situation. Do what you need to do to get your mind right on how you want to go from here."
Before I could say anything headlights blinded us as it pulled up in the driveway, out of the car pops my dad.
"Brielle get in the car we're going home, you don't have to put up with this bullshit anymore."
Chris immediately stood up, I stood in front of him grabbing his face. "No look at me, calm down. Don't let him trip you out just look at me."
"I'm sorry baby, I didn't mean what I said, it's not that I didn't want you and Mijo in the house I just saying that you're too old to be home you should look for your own and do for yourself."
"I'm okay, don't start this again please!"
"Go get Mijo, don't let this fool hold you back."
I don't want to choose, I can't choose against my father. It would kill him if I was to choose another man over him but it's time for him to realize that the decisions I make could never effect our relationship together.
"Daddy I'm - I'm not going I'm okay. It's late just go home."
"Touch her and I promise you I will fuck you up all over again ."
Chris smirked "Fuck me up?"
"Chris look at me, don't pay attention to him. Stop alright, he's going to leave."
"I won't hesitate either, test me!"
"Just go home!" I shouted.
He shook his head and got back in the car and left, Chris and I went back in the house and closed the door behind us he hugged me but I nudged him off.
"I didn't stay for you, I stayed to prove a point to him."
Chris
Half of the things I said to Brielle was bullshit, I said it because I was tired of her going off on me about Janae and Jasmine. In a sense I was basically trying to get her to ease back by making up some accusations about her and that dude. We been like this since I had her come back, we really shouldn't have been fighting, yelling, and cursing each other out like with Mijo only upstairs. Especially with her being pregnant, that baby is determine to stick it out with us.
It was late around 3:50 AM, I went downstairs to see if Brielle was alright. She was sleeping on the big chair and had the ottoman for support of her feet, it was a bold move but I knew what she was feeling. I squeezed beside her getting under the covers with her, she wasn't sleep because she nuzzled closer to me. It wasn't that she was comfortable with me there, it's more that she needed someone to console her for how her and her dad been going at it.
"Daddy did the baby come today?"
"No were just going to see how it's doing."
"I don't want to see it." he pouted.
"Why?"
"I don't like the baby, I'm the baby. I'm mommy's and daddy's baby."
"You right but soon both of you are going to be our babies, you going to be the best big brother ever."
"No!"
"You want a little brother or sister?"
"None!"
"You'll change you mind in the coming months."
"No!"
"Keep going with that no stuff!" I said
I picked Brielle up from work, it was quiet between the both us. Either she was trippin' over her dad or she was in her moments were she didn't want to talk to me. We still weren't on the same terms with each other, we know the fighting is done but the question now is if our relationship done? It's hanging on a very thin string, any second it can be cut for good.
"Wow this is little Mijo? My goodness he's a adorable, how old are you?" Dr. Hill asked, Mijo held up 2 fingers "2? You look like such a big boy!"
"I am a big boy."
"I know you are, you ready to see your baby brother or sister?"
"I guess."
"Is it bad that I feel tightness in my stomach?" Brielle asked.
"Sometimes usual, how high is the stress factor though?"
"Sky high."
"You definitely need to slow down, I suggest get away to somewhere relaxing without the little one. Just the two of you, doing things that got you in my office in the first place."
"Definitely not happening," I smirked.
"Well the baby is doing just fine as I see, but it can all change depending on your surroundings."
"Daddy is that the baby?"
"Yes it is," I smiled.
"It's ugly."
We laughed, "Ay you used to look exactly like that."
"Well here's your sonogram, you should really take my advice into consideration. Take care you two."
Brielle
Chris's mom is having a little small family get together at her house. To me it made no since in going, not feeling like much of a family.
"Good to see you baby, glad you came." His mom said hugging me.
I kept to myself the entire night, I damn sure wasn't going to put on a front as if were together or the slightest bit happy.
"Well look who it is," Keeis came up smiling to me.
I smiled, "What's up Keeis?"
"Didn't think I would be seeing you here, Chris begged you didn't he?" He smirked.
I laughed "No, Mijo took care of that."
"How you been though?"
I shrugged my shoulders, "You know how it is."
"Let me talk to you outside for a minute."
I looked back to see if Mijo was alright in the hands of his family then I followed Keeis out the door, we sat on the step and talked.
"Spare the bullshit, Chris told you to come talk to me?"
"Chris didn't send me out here to talk to you, I wanted to it on my own. Chris is my boy and your family to me too now, I don't want to see you down anymore than he does."
"Is that right?"
"For real, in the past months Chris has been over my house telling me that he loves you and is afraid that if he didn't get his shit together you're going to turn a blind eye to him. This nigga kept say if I do or don't tell her she's going fucking kill me either way, he wanted to spare the both of you suffering through exactly what you're going through. I can't tell you how to handle your relationship but you need to work this shit out and do it now cause I'm getting pretty damn mad!"
I laughed. "It's not that simple Keeis, I understand where you coming from but you not me."
"Do something better at least for Mijo, stay for him."
I shook my head. "Can't do that either, why should I be unhappy?"
"Be honest with me, do you still love him?"
"Of course," I said with zero hesitation.
"What's keeping you apart now? Cause obviously he had something to do with you coming here, something in your heart said fuck it."
"I'm setting boundaries, if I give in now I'll feel defeated. Don't tell him I said that either."
"So it's definite you're getting back together?"
"No, everything is up in there air now."
"Think about this though you'll always have Mijo and this new baby as a rope to hold on to Chris, but can you really picture your life without him?"
Keeis shut me down after that I really had to think about that, after that talk we went back in the house and ate and talked with their family. After everyone left I told Chris's mom that I was pregnant, she was happy but she would be much happier her son and I were together.
Mijo fell asleep during the car ride home, it was relatively silent the between the both of us. He pulled up to the drive way and was getting ready to get out to take Mijo out his car seat but I stopped him grabbing his hand.
"Wait, I never had to go through something like this before. I re built that wall that was once destroyed, if this is going to happen then we need to start over."
"I'm listening."
"I want to start from scratch, there is no reason why I'm unhappy right now."
"You know everything I did wasn't meant to hurt you, I thought I was doing the right thing."
"Hurt is an understatement of what I'm feeling."
"How do we start this out then?"
"I think we should take that trip and go somewhere peaceful."
"You think it's going to fix things?"
"It's up to us when we get there, but it's a start."