Warning! This one could trigger you. I was crying too when i wrote this.
You used to tell me that you loved me once
What happened,what happened?
Where is all of this coming from?
What happened,what happened?
Toni's Flashback
"I love you baby,you know that right?"Toni gave a short sweet smile before giving Cheryl a brain numbing kiss.Toni walks out of the door from then onwards,Toni had always came home drunk and with another girl's perfume,fully intoxicated as she walked to the bathroom with sex hair,her lipstick obviously smudged.
"What happened babe?"Cheryl came out of their shared bedroom.
You say I'm crazy and there's nothing wrong
You're lying and you know I know
Babe what have we become?
What happened?
"Nothings up".Toni lied and it was so evident.
"Bab-"
"I said nothing okay!You're so bloody crazy."Toni rolled her eyes,slamming the bathroom door shut.
"What have we become.."Cheryl sighed,walking into the bedroom.
We used to never go to bed angry
But it's all we ever do lately
And you're turning away like you hate me
Do you hate me,do you hate me?
Oh
"Cheryl! How many fucking times have I told you, I'm not sleeping with anyone!" Cheryl had heard that line at least 10 times this week. Toni groaned walking out of the bedroom after she took a spare blanket out.
"Toni." Cheryl's voice cracked and it stopped Toni from moving. "Do you hate me? Do you hate me so much?" Toni turned around,wanting to explain that she does not,but Cheryl cut her off before she spoke. "It's okay. I know you do.Just go." Cheryl shut the door and locked it,leaning against it before softly sobbing,holding her breath to not let loud screams and wails come out of her mouth.
She eventually slid down the back of the door,her hands covering her face as fresh hot tears fell from her eyes like a waterfall. A few muffled sobs managed to escape her mouth as she thought of all the times that they were happy and when they didn't go to bed angry at all,cuddling and spooning.
You,can take this heart
Heal it or break it all apart
No,this isn't fair
Love me or leave me here
Aah-aah-aah,oh-ah-aah-ah-aah
Love me or leave me here
Aah-aah-aah,oh-ah-aah-ah-ahh
Love me or leave me here
"Babe,I'm sorry. I really am. I won't do it again." Toni knocked on their bedroom door. Cheryl took deep breaths before opening the door,meeting a blood shot eyed Toni. Cheryl hesitated for awhile before she collided with Toni,their arms going around each other as Cheryl bawled into the brunette's chest,thinking that it would be this time that her heart would be healed.
Cheryl was wrong. The very next night Toni had went out again,breaking Cheryl's heart in a million pieces as she laid on her bed,thinking that this isn't fair and that she didn't deserve to be treated this way,she wanted Toni to either love her or leave her.
Do you remember when you loved me once?
What happened,what happened?
And you'd hold me here just because..
What happened?
"You loved me Toni. You used to love me. Now I'm doubting it." Cheryl screamed,as she bawled her eyes out. "What the fuck happened to us,Toni,huh?What the fuck happened?" Usually,this was the time that Toni would stop everything and hold her,but this time it didn't go that way.Cheryl fell to the ground as she continued to mumble 'what happened' as Toni sighed and walked away.
AGAIN.
We used to never go to bed angry
But it's all we ever do lately
You're turning away like you hate me
Do you hate me,do you hate me?
Oh
"Why are you tuning away like you hate me,Toni! Do you hate me?" Cheryl yelled. "We're gonna go to bed angry again aren't we,this is what we do lately." Toni turned around and looked into her girlfriend's chocolate brown eyes before looking down. She grabbed her serpent leather jacket and left the house to find someone else to fuck and relief stress on,leaving an emotionless Cheryl on the floor.
You,can take this heart
Heal it or break it all apart
No,this isn't fair
Love me or leave me here
Aah-aah-aah,oh-ah-aah-ah-aah
Love me or leave me here
Aah-aah-aah,oh-ah-aah-ah-aah
Love me or leave me here
"I don't care anymore Toni,let me go!" Cheryl screamed as Toni held on her,refusing to let her go. "I gave you a chance.I gave you my heart and the option to heal it or break it.You chose to break it.So now,I have the option to love you or leave you and I'm choosing the second option because i cant stand this any longer!"
And love me baby please cause I could still be the only one you need
The only one close enough to feel you breathe
Yeah I could still be that place where you run
Instead of the one that you're running from,ooh
Cheryl managed to struggle free and ran,Toni taging close behind,trying to convince her to stay,trying to convince her that she didn't mean it and she loved her,trying to convince her that she will heal her heart so that the white skinned girl could stay,but it was too late.
Cheryl ran into the road,getting hit by a car,her body flying at least ten feet across.Toni felt her heart shattering as she saw all of that in slow motion.She ran over to Cheryl's bleeding body screaming out loud for her to wake up."Cheryl! Wake up! Please! I need you in my life! I will heal your heart so you could love me!
People gathered around the couple as Toni continued to cry and scream at the lifeless body."Someone call a fucking ambulance!" Toni sobbed,putting the pettite girl close to her chest,trying to feel her breathe."No..You'll be fine--It's gonna be okay. You can't leave me like this."
You,can take this heart
Heal it or break it all apart
No,this isnt fair
Love me or leave me here
Aah-aah-aah,oh-ah-aah-ah-aah
Love me or leave me here
Aah-aah-aah,oh-ah-aah-ah-aah
Love me or leave me here
Toni downed another shot down,the liquid burning her throat as it glides down her esophagus.It had been four months since the older girl's funeral.Toni had stopped having one night stands,every night she would go to the same bar she met her lover in,having the same drink that she bought Cheryl when they met.She had always blamed herself for Cheryl's death because if she did what she wanted,she wouldn't have ended up like this.She wished,she just wished that this was all a dream,but it wasn't.It was reality,it was real that her lover died and it was reality that it was her fault and she would never forgive herself.
"Cheryl.. I need you to heal my heart. I wish I was the one that died. I'm sorry."Toni whispered before downing another shot.