~~~~~~~~~Dipper's POV~~~~~~~~~
"I'm afraid your services won't be required here, sir. More men have examined the evidence and this is obviously and accidental."
"Accident, Constable? Or is it... murder?!?"
"What?!?"
"Duck-tective.. will return after these messages."
"That duck is a genius...!!" Mabel's eyes sparkled as she stared at the tv. She and I, along with (y/n) who's staying with us until work starts, were watching a show we had found a few days ago called Ducktective, which was so far pretty good.
I shrugged through. "Eh, it's easier to find clues when you're that close to the ground."
"Are you saying you can outwit Ducktective?"
"How dare you insinuate such lies!" (y/n) added after Mabel.
I rolled my eyes. "For your information, I have very keen powers of observation!"
"For rhyming, apparently." Mabel laughed at (y/n)'s statement, making me puff my cheeks.
"For solving mysteries! For example, just by smelling your breath I can tell that you've been eating..." I sniffed the air, growing confused. "An entire tube of toothpaste?"
Mabel turned away. "It was so sparkly..."
That's when Soos came running in. "Hey dudes!! You'll never guess what I found!"
"Buried treasure!!!"
"Buried-! Mabel lightly punched my shoulder. "Hey, I was gonna say that!"
He lead us to a dark hallway; the Mystery Shack had so many hallways it was easy to get lost, plus they were beyond dusty.
"So I was cleaning up when I found this secret door hidden behind the wall paper. It's crazy bonkers creepy..!"
Soos opened the door for us, and my eyes widened to what was inside the room. There were tons of wax statues around the place, all based on a historial figure. It was creepy, obviously, but so cool!
Inside were wax sculptures of many people throughout history! Soos was right, it was very creepy!
(y/n) was the first to walk inside. "Right, I heard Stan used to have a Wax Museum in the shack!"
Mabel smiled. "They're so lifelike..!!"
"Except for that one." I pointed at one of the figures.
The figure smiled. "Hello!"
"AHH!!!"
It then laughed. "It's just me, your Grunkle Stan!"
We screamed again before running out of the room.
"Behold, the Gravity Falls Wax Museum!" Stan began to explain once we all came back. "It was one of my most popular attractions! Before I forgot all about it."
(y/n) cringed a bit. "How can you forget something like this..?"
Stan walked around. "I got them all! Genghis Khan, Sherlock Holmes!" He stopped in front of Larry King. "Some kinda... I don't know, goblin man?"
I shuddered a bit. "Is anyone else getting the creeps here?"
Stan, completely ignoring me as usual, continued to explain. "And now for my personal favorite, wax Abraham Lincoln right over- Oh oh! Oh no! C'mon!!" He stood in front of the now melted pile of goo. "Who left the blinds open?!? Wax John Wilkes Booth I'm looking in your direction!!"
He then let out a sigh, kneeling down in front of the goo. "How do you fix a wax figure..?"
"Cheer up, Grunkle Stan!" Mabel ran over. "Where's that smile~?"
"Meh."
And poked his face. "Beep, bap, boop!"
"Ow."
"Don't worry, Grunkle Stan, I'll make you a new wax figure from all this old wax!"
"You really think you can make one of this puppies?"
"Grunkle Stan, I'm an arts'n'crafts master. Why do you think I always have this glue gun stuck to my arm?" She shook her arm, trying to remove the glue gun.
Stan simply smiled. "I like your gumption, kid!"
"I don't know what that word means, but thank you!"
Later that day, (y/n) and I were walking back to the gift shop after getting some sodas. As we did, Mabel suddenly stood in our way, a bright smile on her face as she held up a sketch pad.
"Hey guys! What do you think of my wax figure idea? She's part fairy princess and part horse fairy princess!"
(y/n) instantly cringed. "That is..... was that your first idea....?"
"Well actually my first idea was to make a sculpture of you, hot stuff~" She giggled.
I could see (y/n)'s expression go from mild cringe to pure discomfort. "Go with the horse fairy. Please."
"Or, you could go for something else that's from real life."
Mabel quickly sketched something up. "Like a waffle, with big arms!!"
"Y'okay.... or you know, something else."
"Maybe someone in your family?" (y/n) offered.
That's when Stan walked in in his underwear, which I had hoped to never see. "Kids, have you seen my pants?"
However, Mabel smiled at that, then looked up. "Oh muse, you work in mysterious ways.."
"Why is your sister talking to the ceiling?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It had been days, and Mabel had finished her sculpture. Stan planned a whole ceremony for it, getting people to pay for tickets and all.
(y/n) and I were working at the ticket stand actually, and as I saw all the people that sat down in front of the stage, I spoke. "I can't believe this many people showed up!"
He shrugged, counting the money in his hands. "I bet Stan bribed them or something."
"He bribed me." I took out a dollar from my vest, and he took one out of his jacket while pressing a finger against his lips, both of us chuckling.
We then heard Stan clear his throat with the mic on, turning to see everything. "You all know me, folks. Town darling, Mr. Mystery. Please, ladies!! Control yourselves!!"
No women reacted.
"As you know, I always bring the people of this fair town novelties and befuddlement. The likes of which the world has never known. But enough about me. Behold..." He removed the blanket off the wax figure, revealing a replica of Stan. "Me!!"
"Yeah! Y- y- y-y- yeah!" Soos repeated on his keyboard.
"And now a word from our own, Mableangelo!"
"It's Mabel." She replied as Stan handed her the mic. "Thank you for coming! I made this sculpture with my own two hands!! It's covered in my blood, sweat, tears, and other fluids."
Everyone grew disgusted at that, groaning in reaction as Mabel continued. "Hehe, yeah, I will now take questions! You there!"
"Old man McGucket, local kook. Are the wax figures alive, and follow up question, can I survive the wax man uprising?"
"Uh..." She quickly brought back her smile. "Yes! Next question!"
"Toby Determined, Gravity Falls gossiper. Do you really think this constitutional wonder of the world?"
Stan stared at him with an expressionless face. "Your microphone's a turkey baster, Toby."
"It certainly is-"
"Next question."
"Shandra Jimenez, a real reporter. Your flyers promised free pizza with admission to this event, is this true?"
"... that was a typo. Goodnight, everyone!!" He threw a smoke bomb on stage, giving him and Mabel a change to escape as the crowd began to destroy everything. (y/n) and I took that as a chance to grab all the money and run into the shack.
Hours later, Mabel and I were getting ready for bed, brushing our teeth in the bathroom.
"Hey, Dipper, wanna do a toothbrush race?"
"Okay."
"No, no, NOOO!!!" We heard Stan yell from downstairs, making us rush downstairs, Mabel asking first.
"What happened?!?"
"Wax Stan, he's been m- m- murdered!!!"
Wax Stan was now laying on the floor without his head. My eyes widened, and Mabel fainted back.
What just happened..?!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The police were now in the living room, Stan explaining the situation. "I get up to use the jot, right? And when I come back, blammo!!! He's headless!!!"
Mabel was kneeling beside her creation. "My expert handcrafting, besmirched.. Besmirched..!!"
"Who would do something like this..?!" I asked, placing a hand on her shoulder.
"What's your opinion, sheriff Blubs?" The deputy asked.
"Look, we'd love to help you folks, but let's face the facts, this case is unsolvable."
"WHAT?!?"
"You take that back, you take that back sheriff Blubs!!!"Stan yelled.
I tried to stay calm. "You're kidding, right? There must be evidence, motives. You know, I could help if you want!"
"He's really good! He figured out who was eating our tin cans!" Mabel smiled, backing me up.
"All signs pointed to the goat."
Even Stan backed me up! "Yeah yeah, let the boy help! He's got a little brain up in his head!"
The sheriff simply laughed. "Ooh, will you look at what we've got here! City boy thinks he's gonna solve a mystery with his fancy computer phone!
"City boyyyy, city boyyyyy!!!"
"You are adorable!"
"Adorable..?" I repeated as the two officers laughed, making me growl in anger. I was a lot of things, but adorable was definitely not one of them!
"Look PJs, how 'bout you lave the investigating to the grownups, okay?" The sheriff and his deputy high fived, then turned to their walkie talkies as a voice was heard.
"Attention all units, Steve is gonna fit an entire cantaloupe in his mouth. Repeat: an entire cantaloupe."
The deputy smiled. "It's a 23:16!!"
"Let's move!" With that, the two left, leaving in a room with rage. Useless officers!
"That's it!! Mabel, we're gonna find the jerk who did this and get back that head!! Then we'll see who's adorable.." I sneeze escaped me after that, making Mabel coo at me.
"Aww, you sneeze like a kitten!" I glared at that.
The next day, we were back in the living room, and things were already prepared; I had my notepad, my pen, and my determination. We also brought (y/n) with us once he came to the shack for work since we could not only use an extra brain, but his camera as well.
"First things first: investigate the murder scene. Wax Stan has lost his head, and it's up to us to find it."
(y/n) took a picture of the victim. We had caught him up on everything that happened last night, and he was on board before we even asked. As he showed me the picture, he added. "There were a lot of unhappy customers at the unveiling, so the murderer could have be anyone."
"Yeah, even us!" Mabel added, which as stupid as it might've sounded, we couldn't scratch anything out.
"In this town, anything's possible." I took out the journal, scrolling through the pages. "Ghost, zombies, could be months before we find our first clue."
"Found a clue." We looked over as (y/n) took a few pictures of the floor.
"Footprints in the shag carpet!"
Mabel tilted her head. "That's weird, they've got a hole in them."
"And they're leading to..." We followed the footprints to behind the couch, seeing an axe hiding from plain sight.
This is it, our first big lead!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"So what do you think?" I asked as Soos inspected the axe, all of us now in the gift shop.
"In my opinion, this is an axe."
Mabel's eyes then widened. "Wait minute, the lumberjack!"
"Of course! He was furious when he didn't get that free pizza!" I agreed.
"Furious enough for murder!!"
"You mean Manly Dan, Wendy's dad?" (y/n) asked. "He's always at this biker joint downtown."
I smiled, nodding my head. "Then that's where we're going."
"Dude, this is awesome, you guys are like the Mystery Trio!" Soos said, making me glare at him.
"Don't call us that."
When then headed outside, seeing Stan trying to get a coffin out of his car. "Hey, give me a hand with this coffin, will ya? I'm doing a memorial service for wax Stan. Something small but classy.
"Sorry, Grunkle Stan, but we've got a big break in the case."
"Break in the case!!" Mabel related after me.
(y/n) continued. "We're heading into town to interrogate a suspect."
"We have an axe!" Mabel added, taking it out of her bag. "Wreek, wreek, wreek!!"
Stan turned to us, expression serious. "Seems like the kind of thing a responsible parent wouldn't want you doing.. ... Good thing I'm an uncle! Avenge me, kids, AVENGE ME!!!"
And so we went to the biker hangout. Thankfully we had (y/n) to guide us, if it were just Mabel and I, we would've gotten lost. He even led us to the building's entrance, where a huge buff man covered in tattoos stood with his arms crossed.
"Hey Tats!" He said with a smile, the buff man looking down.
He stared at (y/n) for a while, eyes squinted, and we were afraid he was gonna beat us up or something. To my surprise though, the man let out a laugh, ruffling up (y/n)'s hair. "Haven't seen you in a while, Pip! How's it going?"
"Same old, same old. Is Dan inside?"
"Same place as always."
"Thanks, Tats! Say hi to the wife for me!" (y/n) opened the door for us, letting us walk inside. The place really was a stereotypical biker bar, with a feeling of the 80s.
Mabel then hugged his arm with a bright smile. "You are so awesome!!"
"Uh- thanks?"
"Mabel, how about you go befriend one of these nice people?" I asked, hoping she'd leave (y/n) alone.
She smiled and ran off. "Okay!!"
As we both walked over to Dan, a question entered my head. "Pip?"
He laughed at that. "It's my nickname, given to me by the town."
"Why Pip of all things?"
"Because I've been running around the entire place ever since I was a little kid."
"Oh, I.. guess that makes sense."
We finally reached Manly Dan, who was playing arm wrestling with a machine, and I couldn't tell whether he was winning or losing.
"Manly Dan, just the guy we wanted to see." I started. "Where were you last night?"
"Punching the clock!!"
"You were at work?"
"No, I was punching that clock!!!" He pointed at a broken clock outside, which had the arrows frozen.
"Ten o'clock, the time of the murder..." I muttered to myself.
(y/n) then pulled out the axe from the bag. "Have you ever seen this axe before?"
"Listen here, kids, I wouldn't pick my teeth with that axe!! It's left handed!! I only use my right hand, my manly hand!!!" He ripped out the arm of the machine, and started beating it up with said robotic arm.
I felt (y/n) lightly elbow my shoulder, a small smirk on his face. "Left handed, huh?"
I smiled at that, we have another lead!
We ran over to Mabel, seeing her playing that weird origami fate game from like second grade with one of the guys. Three, four, five, six."
She let out a gasp. "You're wife is gonna be beautiful..!!"
"Yes!!"
"Mabel, big break in the case!" Was all I said, and the three of us ran outside as we heard the guy yell from inside.
"But will she love me?!?"
About half an hour passed with us walking around town. I was making a list about everyone that was in the Wax Museum reopening ceremony.
"It's a left handed axe, these are all our suspects, Manly Dan is right handed. That means all we gotta do is find our left hand suspect, and we've got our killer."
"Oh man, we are on fire today!!" She shaped her hands like guns and pointed at the sky. "Pu-pow, pu-pow, pu-pow!!!"
I turned around, facing the two of them with a bright smile. "Let's find that murderer!!"
It took us the entire day to scratch out all the suspects who were either right handed, or neither, and it was already dark out when we only had one last person to check.
Toby Determined.
And I remember him holding the turkey baster with his left hand earlier.
So after calling the police and meeting them in front of Toby's house, we were ready to catch him
We went through many houses, but everyone we went to was right handed! I was starting to get frustrated, we inky had one more suspect.
The sheriff turned to us. "You kids better be right about this or you'll never hear the end of it."
I was sure of it. "The evidence is irrefutable."
"It's so irrefutable!" Mabel replied after.
(y/n) was searching through the pictures in his camera. "There's no one else who could be the culprit."
"I'm gonna have to use my mouth stick!" The deputy yelled in joy, the sheriff laughing.
"You ready little fella?"
They began to poke each other with the police sticks. Seriously? Get a room please.
I let out a sigh, then looked at the door. "On three. One, two,-"
The deputy kicked open the door, the sheriff shouting. "Nobody move, this is a raid!!"
Toby fell off his chair due to shock. "Huh?!? What is this, some kind of raid?!?"
I quickly took the lead. "Toby Determined, you're under arrest for the murder of the wax body of Grunkle Stan!"
"You have the right to remain impressed with our awesome detective work!" Mabel added, the two of us high fiving while (y/n) took pictures of our culprit.
"Gobbling goose feathers, I don't understand!"
"Then allow me to explain." I began because of his statement. "You were hoping that Grunkle Stan's new attraction would be the story that saved your failing newspaper. But when the show was a flop, you decided to go out and make your own headline. But you were sloppy, and all the clues pointed to a shabby shoe reporter who was caught left handed."
"Toby Determined, you're yesterday's news." Mabel finished.
However, Toby just let out a laugh. "Boy, you're little knees must be sore. For jumping to conclusions! Ha-cha-cha! I had nothing to do with that murder."
"I knew it!!! Wait-"
We stumbled on our words, until (y/n) stepped forward. "But there's no one else who was at the ceremony who's left handed besides you. We have proof, I took pictures of everyone we interviewed."
"If you're really not the culprit, then where were you the night of the break in?" The sheriff asked, which made Toby grow a bit nervous.
He took out a tape and placed it in his tv, showing a video of him making out with a cardboard cutout of that reporter lady. Needles to say, I wanted to throw up.
The sheriff checked the tape. "Time stamp confirms. Toby, you're off the hook, you freak of nature."
"Hurray!"
I couldn't believe it! "But... but it has to be him! Check the axe for fingerprints!"
Doing as told, the sheriff lightly brushed the axe. "No prints at all."
"No prints?!"
"Hey I got a headline for ya!" The deputy smirked at me. "City kids waste everyone's time!"
The three of them left at us, and I could feel my face heating up in embarrassment, even as Toby spoke. "Boy, I'd be pretty embarrassed if I was you three!"
I then felt (y/n)'s hand on my shoulder, seeing him giving me a small smile. "C'mon, let's go home.."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
We now sat in the parlor, where Stan planned his small memorial for Wax Stan, standing in front of the room.
"Kids, Soos, lifeless wax figures.. Thank you all for coming.. Some people might say it's wrong for a man to love a wax replica of himself."
"They're wrong!!"
"Easy, Soos. Wax Stan, I hope you're picking pockets in wax heaven.." He sniffled, wiping his face. "I'm sorry I've got glitter on my eyes!!" Stan ran out of the room, with Soos following, both crying.
I let out a sigh, feeling horrible. "Those cops were right about me..."
"Dipper, no offense to them, but they're the dumbest cops you will ever meet, you shouldn't take their word." (y/n) replied, with Mabel continuing.
"Yeah! We've come so far, we can't give up now!"
"But I considered everything! The weapon, the motive, the clues!" With another sigh, I walked over to the coffin, and my eyes landed on something strange.. "... Wax Stan's shoe has a hole in it."
"All the wax statues have it. It's where the pole thingy attaches to their stand thingy." Mabel explained as she walked over, (y/n) beside her.
And then it hit: "Wait a minute, what has holes in its shoes and no fingerprints?! Guys, the murderers are-!!"
"Standing right behind you?"
My skin turned pale at the new voice, and the three of us turned to see all the wax figures alive and sentient, groaning as they stretched their limbs.
"Wax Sherlock Holmes!! Wax Shakespeare!! Wax Coolio?!"
"W'sup, Holmes."
When wax Lizzie Borden took the axe Mabel held, she hid behind (y/n), gripping his arm. "Oh my gosh, oh my gosh..!"
Holmes stepped to be in front of us. "Congratulations, my three amateur sleuths. You've unburied the truth, and now we're going to bury you.."
Wait, what?!
"Bravo, Dipper Pines, you've discovered our little secret." Holmes turned to the others. "Applaud, everyone, applaud sarcastically!"
Everyone clapped in a cheerful manner, to which he shook his head. "No, that sounds too sincere. Slow clap." They did as told, clapping more sarcastically. "Nice and condescending."
I did my best to keep my head. "But... how is this possible?! You're made of wax!!"
"Are you..." Mabel smiled. "Magic..?!"
He spoke through laughter. "Are we magic? She wants to know if we're magic!" His expression grew serious once more, punching the area next to (y/n), to which he flinched to the side. "We're cursed!!"
"Cursed!!" The others repeated.
"Cursed to come to life whenever the moon is waxing. Your uncle bought us many years ago at a garage sale."
"A haunted garage sale, son!" Wax Cookie added.
"He thought we were too costly, so he simply took us in the night. And so, the Mystery Shack wax collection was born. By day we would be the playthings of men."
"But when you're uncle went to sleep, we would rule the night."
"It was a charmed life for us cursed beings. That is, until you're uncle closed up shop.. We've been waiting ten years to get our revenge on Stan for locking us away. But we got the wrong guy.."
(y/n) glared at them with rage. "So you were trying to murder the real Stan Pines..?!"
"You were right all along, Dipper, wax people are creepy!"
"Enough!! Now that you know our secret, you must die.."
They all started to grunt and groan like zombies, their eyes turning to the back of their heads. We backed away as much as we could, eventually bumping into the table behind us, Mabel turning to me. "What do we do, what do we do?!"
"Uh- Uh- just throw whatever you can!!" I replied in a panic, throwing anything that was on the table.
Nothing seemed to work, until we through a coffee maker, the coffee melting off wax Genghis Khan's face.
"Wait, that's it! We can melt them with hot things!" (y/n) mentioned, and the three of us grabbed electric candles, ready to fight.
"Anyone moves and we'll melt you into candles!!"
"Decorative candles!!" Mabel added to my exclamation.
Holmes glared at us. "You really think you can defeat us?"
We weren't that sure, stumbling with our answer.
"So be it! Attack!!!"
I was no fighter, but I gave it all I had. Being short and scrawny had its pros too, and I was able to avoid most of the attacks, as well as getting some attacks myself too, like wax Groucho Marx and Genghis Khan!
However, I grew afraid when Holmes walked over to me, placing wax Stan's head on a rhino head that was mounted on the wall, taking out a sword. "Alright, let's get this taken care of."
The first thing he did was knock the candle off my hands, to which Mabel quickly responded and threw over a heated poker, which I used to block the sword.
Trying my best to get out of danger, I let backing away, running up the stairs, and eventually climbing onto the roof, with wax Holmes still hot on my trail. I led him over to where the letters on top of the shack were, and he ended up hitting the S in Shack, which caused it to fall off.
"You really think you can outwit me?!? I'm Sherlock bleeding Holmes!!! Have you seen my magnifying glass?!? It's enormous!!!"
I managed to climb to the other side of the roof, hiding behind the chimney to finally get a break and catch my breath.
Had I lost him..?
As if on cue, I him now beside me and harshly kicked my chest, knocking me to the edge of the roof. I coughed a bit, trying to steady my breathing as Holmes walked over to me, raising his sword.
"Any last words..?"
"Yeah, I hope you can't bounce!!"
"What?!" Before he could do anything else, Holmes was kicked off the roof with a scream. (y/n) stood where he was, his breathing a bit heavy.
As I sat up, I grunted a bit at the pain in my chest. He ran over, reaching a hand to me. "You okay..?"
Feeling my cheeks heat up a little, I quickly shook my head and took his hand, letting him help me up. "Y-yeah, thanks.."
He smiled a bit, then leaned over the edge. "... Huh."
"What?" I walked over, looking down. Instead of seeing wax Sherlock Homes on the ground, there was a big pile of goo that continued to melt. ".... ew."
"Good thinking to lead him outside at sunrise!"
"Yeah, cuz that was totally intentional...."
He let out a snicker, and we both headed back down to the parlor, seeing Mabel holding Shakespeare's head. "Do you know any limericks?"
"Uh.. there once was a dude in Kentucky."
"Nope!" She threw the head into the fireplace, then turned to us with a smile. "Dipper, (y/n)!! You're both okay!! You solved the mystery after all!"
Standing up on a chair, I took wax Stan's head back. "Well, I couldn't have done it without my sidekicks."
"No offense, Dipper, but you're the sidekick."
"What? Says who? Are people saying that? Have you heard that?"
"I am the one that saved you. Again."
"Sh-shut up!" I glared at (y/n)'s statement, which simply made him laugh.
"Hot Belgian waffles!!!" We heard Stan's voice, seeing him in the entrance. "What happened to my parlor?!?"
Mabel smiled. "Your waxed figures turned out to be evil so we fought them to the death!!"
I raised a finger. "I decapitated Larry King."
"And I pushed off Sherlock Holmes." (y/n) crossed his arms.
Stan let out a chuckle. "You kids and you're imaginations!"
"On the bright side, look what we found." I raised the wax head, and Stan's expression instantly lit up.
"My head, haha!!! I missed this guy!! You done good kids! Alright, lime up for some affectionate noogying!"
Before we could run away, he wrapped an arm around all of us, ruffling our hairs as we all laughed.
However, we pulled away when we heard the police sirens outside, walking over to the window and seeing the sheriff with his deputy.
"Solved the case yet boy? I'm so confident you're gonna say no that I'm gonna take a long slow sip from my cup of coffee."
The sheriff began to drink his coffee, and I raised the wax head with a proud smile. "Actually the answer's yes."
Out of shock, the sheriff spit all the coffee into the deputy's face, who spit back, and forth, and back, and I'm nauseous again. They then drove away while screaming at the hot coffee, and we all laughed at their pain.
(y/n) then turned to Mabel. "So did you get rid of all the wax figures?"
"I am ninety nine percent sure that I did!"
"Good enough!"
Some may say that you can't learn to love something in just a few weeks, but after these three missions, I really do think that (y/n), Mabel, and I will be inseparable, no matter what.
Thanks for reading!!! 'Till next time!!!
❤️❤️❤️