Joanna no longer had tears to cry. Now she was only fuelled by rage and vengeance. She understood why Arya was so determined to end the lives of the men that were responsible for her fathers death.
Love does not endure when you live together peacefully but rather when the love has been taken away unrightfully so. Ayame told her everything and as traumatizing as it was she understood why.
Even in her childhood Robert had made it clear on why he needed Eddard Starks help. The North was various and determined to belong to themselves. They were stubborn with an iron will ready to stand at the battle lines. Not even a Targeryen could control the North with absolute power. They stood on their own and have always been a threat to the throne.
They posed a danger to the entire system of the realm. If one of the seven kingdoms decided they could rule independently whats to say High Garden or Dorne dont feel the same way.
The last of the Starks.
After the betrayal of her family she no longer considered herself to be a Lannister.
She felt like an insolent fool for thinking they could change. She always knew they were vile but she never imagined that they would inflict that torment she suffered at the red wedding.
But she didn’t feel like a Stark either – she never did. She was Robb's wife but she was far from Stark. In some way she felt like a stranger looking through a glass house of which she couldn't enter.
A Lannister always paid their debts. Hear me roar
The house calling to her family. As a child she would grow irritated by the constant preaching of her family for what her house symbolized. It was made abundantly clear that she would never have the honour of being taught by Robert as to what the Baratheons stood for.
Even Jaime could see that the former king had no interest in what he believed were his children. Tywin taught her to be strategic and patient as a war lord, Cersei taught her to be cunning and use her beauty and charm to over power, Tyrion taught her the craft of wisdom and manipulation and Jaime taught her to be a fighter.
Every whisper and every story of the house of lions existed in her very being. But she was able to teach herself kindness, respect and fairness. Maybe that was why she and Robb instantly were taken with one another – because they lived by the same values.
"Don't worry little one. If my family wants to see me again they will, only it will be on my own fucking terms." She softly spoke rubbing her belly. Hiding in the corner of the cell she cloaked herself with the pieces of rag that was used as a blanket. She would unthread the dress she wore and use its thread to make a cloak for herself. It was used as a blanket at night but underneath her body she dug away the bow and arrows and daggers Greywind would bring at his nightly visits.
At the howl of the moon she knew it was time. Tonight was a full moon which meant the guards would be tired as theyve been travelling between house Lin and the Twins.
With no hesitation she grabbed the dagger and headed for the cell gate. The blade slicing through her guards throat. He gagged as he fell to his knees. The veins in his face turning blue as Joanna watched the life leave his eyes.
Just as it did with Catelyn.
Reaching her arm through the gate she grabbed hold of the keys and unlocked herself. The cells were empty. A second guard down the passage was alarmed as he charged towards Joanna. But she could see he was slower because of his armour.
Charging at him, she dodged the first swing as she rolled out of the way. His back turned to her. The sword puncturing through his heart and she used a piece of rag to gag his mouth. Joanna could feel the resurgence of adrenaline course through her body.
For a moment she felt like herself again – only she felt more dangerous. The entrance door opened as five guards came charging at her.
She readied her bow and arrow. Swift like lightning she arched the bow the arrows cutting through the air as they dropped like flies. Eyes, throat, heart and ball. An ode to Aryas' training.
She marched towards the entrance doors with the keys in hand she locked the doors. She had to think carefully and try and remember what Ayame said. Secret tunnels but where? Joanna scratched through her dry and brittle hair.
Thinking back to her childhood- underneath the cells there was a secret passage way to the tunnels underneath the castle. She and Isabella would constantly sneak out of them. She walked towards the cells with no conclusion coming to mind. She could hear banging from the doors as she ran further and further down.
The moon illuminating through the windows when she noticed something. Some of the brick walls seemed to be lighter than other. They didn’t brightly glow but they were noticeably different. In a rush her hand grazed the wall. She put her ear against the wall and knocked three times. It was hallow – that must be it! She thought
She stood back and could see a pillar to her left. Praying to herself she pushed it aside as it slowly moved revealing a staircase.
"Looks like my debts are going to be paid after all." She sarcastically remarked. The door banged open but at that time shed already push the wall back.
Next to her was an already lit torch, taking hold of it she bolted further and further down. Her sprint came to a hold to see where it landed her. They were at the ocean. House Lin was not far located from the Greyjoys. They were north of the sea.
Her breath huffed and heave as she felt the cool air against her skin. The moon nearly blinding her at direct eye contact. Part of her wanted to cry but there was no time. From the shore a giant shadow nearly tackled her.
"Greywind! I know-"She was interrupted at the direwolf placed licks on her dirtied cheeks. She laughed at the instant contact as she petted his ear. "I know boy I missed you too but we need to go and we need to leave now." She turned her head to see a ship with empty and ready to set sail. She approached it as she marched up the stairs to the port.
The ship was not anchored. Judging by the ale and loaf of bread on the floor she assumed that whoever it was would be returning soon.
Without a shadow of a doubt she ported the boat as the wind carried them south. The village empty and dark only one light from the castle. She couldn't see who it was but she could see the candle lit.
They were signalling a final wave goodbye as they blew out the candle. Then she realised who it was and was ever grateful.
"Its been done. She leaves for Kingslanding within a fortnight." Shae dully took a last sip of her ale a terrified handmaiden left for her. She was seated next to Ramsey at the head of the Starks table. So many memories flooded through her head. The night she met Joanna.
The night she and Joanna proved themselves to be worthy of fighting for Robb. It all seemed like a distant memory now. Children excited to go to war not knowing what their future would entail for themselves.
"The queen plans to hold a spectacle of the princesss return from her forced marriage. Joffrey will pardon her and we get the declaration that the North rules at the hand of the Boltons." Ramsey nodded his head in approval Who would have thought behind that pretty face was a sharp mind. He winked at her to which Shae only scowled.
"You have what you wanted but that's not why you want me to stay here, is it?" It's been a month since Ramseys visit and now she found herself in Winterfell.
They've been negotiating with Tywin for his and the Kings declaration and Roose was finalising his betrothal arrangements to the Freys. Ramsey found it better with his father away – he could do as he pleases and no one would lay a finger on him. Not after what theyve done. He enjoyed Shae's presence because she refused to cower in front of him- though he knew shed cry herself to sleep from the bruising and that was such sweet bliss. To know that he could break the psyche of someone and not have they have the capability to fight back.
"I come to you with a proposal. When my father returns I will have him declare me a bastard and his one true heir." Ramsey sat back as his eyes racked Shaes body, even in armour he could see she was seated uncomfortably. Her back was slouched and the circles under her eyes were aging him. He'd never found her more attractive than when he finished himself off with her. "I want to make you my wife." Shae gasped in both terror and shock. He held his menacing smirk but she pulled herself together refusing to show emotion
"Why?"
"Don't you see? With our two houses combined wed be unstoppable. They peasants will have no choice but to bow down to us. You would carry my sons and rulers to the North once my father dies of old age and I become lord of Winterfell. We could build a dynasty off this." He truthfully answered
"What if I refuse? I am not fit to be a lady?" Shae replied taking another gulp of ale and wine. Scrunching her face at its taste to look back to the Bolton "I'm more useful as an advisor to you. I can't" –Ramsey grew impatient of her disagreement. He approached her as he gripped the back of her hand. Shae jolted off as she shoved him away into the table. The goblets and plates clanging against each other
"Thats why! You have a fire that burns to escape. "He laughed as he walked towards her. Placing his hands to her cheeks as his thumbs grazed her face Together we would be unstoppable. Without her permission he forced his face against her as their lips made contact. Ramseys kisses were rough and painful.
Every girl had a fantasy of her first kiss. Her first time – and he was everything a girl would dread. Gentle was not in his vocabulary. He was dominant and gained pleasure from overpowering her. His hands gripped her waist locking her against his chest. Forcing his tongue into his mouth as Shae tried pulling away. Her head shaking as he invaded her mouth. His breath smelled of wine and blood. She hissed and broke free when she tasted the blood on her lip when he bit her
"You can't convince me. I am telling you I won't marry you!" She yelled whipping the blood from her lip. Ramsey moaned as he licked his lip tasting her blood on his icy lips.
"Darling, you've made it this far. Might as well finish it by giving us an heir". He laughed as he grabbed another glass of wine.
Shae shook her head in disapproval. It was like he could not see what he was saying. Raising dynasties and heir. It all sounded too political for her liking. "No, it sounded like the words of someone who wanted to be king. You realise that your father will return with a Frey wife and bed her. She will carry an heir."
"Unless she doesn't." Ramseys voice deepened as he sat back on the dining table. Shae could tell in his voice that he was planning something. Something dangerous. "Who's to say the baby would even be born."
"Ramsey..." Shae stepped forward. Standing between his thighs as she fiddled with back of head. Twirling his hair between her fingers Whatever youre planning, it wont happen. I cant marry you and even you know that.
She hated him. She hated how he made her feel her and yet she was addicted to him. Even though he inflicted pain on her part of her enjoyed the rush. It was the feeling she craved since setting foot off of the battlefields.
The thrill and danger. He left her bruised and battered but at the same time she convinced herself that she deserved it. For her betrayal to Robb and Joanna and to herself. When she bent the knee to Robb she swore to herself that she would be an innocent and loyal soldier – but she wasn't. She knew what she did was wrong but it was needed to be done to salvage and save what was left of the North but that didn’t mean it relieved her conscious
If no one would punish her for her crimes, she'd inflict it on herself.
"Thats where you are wrong. It's a game we Boltons play and I happen to play it very well. Months prior I was nothing but a bastard and now here I stand in Winterfell with a future mother to my sons. I get what I want, when I want with who I want because you all play to my game. And I always win in the end – even against my father."
"What do you mean?" Ramsey turned her body around. His chest against her back as the door opened. His lips kissed behind her ear "This is how I ensure I win at everything I do." Shaes's blood ran cold at the shadow of the man she once knew.
He looked miserable and tormented. His eyes glassy with tears as his body trembled. He looked to Shae before staring back to his feet. His hair grown to his shoulders and wearing nothing but rags with dried up blood stains
"Shae, meet Reek."