When I woke up it was dark outside. And I wasn't at my parents' house. I was at the king's place. The king who was currently staring at me. All that had happened, came back to me.
Me: "I'm sorry-." He shook his head at me.
Kumkani: "Take this and call your mother beautiful." He said passing me one of his cellphones... "she wanted you to call her as soon as you woke up." I took the phone from him and dialed my mother's number. After a few rings she picked up.
Me: "Mama, ndim." I said in a soft voice. I bit my lower lip and closed my eyes when my mother started sobbing... "M-mama..."
Mother: "I don't know what to do and how to help you mntanam." She told me heartbroken voice... "mna njengo Mamakho andiyazi ukuba ndenze njani Khazimle nyani. So since ndibona ukuba uyayithanda londoda ukuyo and also since I see that he at least knows how to handle you, I decided to send you away with him." She told... "and m-maybe j-just maybe, he'll help you heal. I really don't know andifuni ukuxoka ndixakiwe nam Khazimle." She cried... "I really don't know what to do. It feels like I've failed you as your mother." I shook my head. [As your mother I really don't know what to do Khazimle. So since I saw how you love the man you're with and also since I see that he at least knows how to handle you, I decided to send you away with him. I really don't know what to do. I'm also out of options Khazimle.]
Me: "No Mama, d-don't s-say that. You didn't fail me. I'm the one that's at fault here. I'm sorry that you and Dad were cursed with a daughter like me who has only brought sadness and suffering into your lives-."
Mother: "Don't say that!" She cut me off angrily... "don't say that Khazimle! This is not your fault!" She shouted still crying... "do you hear me? Your father and I love you very much Khazie. Yes it's hard but we love you and we want you to heal. That's all we want." She told me... "and even if God had given me the will to choose which daughter I wanted, I would still choose you sweetie. Do you hear me? I would choose you. You're my precious baby." Tears spilled out of my eyes and I wiped them away sniffing... "I want you to focus on healing. I still don't like how depended you are on that man you with but nothing can be done now since you already are. But I do want you to be independent Precious. Don't let your sanity be depended on somebody else. Because what would you do when that man ends up disappointing you one day? I believe you're strong enough to heal by yourself. You just need to believe the same thing." She told me strongly... "so please try my child. Okay?" I nodded then I remembered that she couldn't see me.
Me: "Okay Mama, I'll try."
Mother: "I told that man that he must take you to your therapy sessions every Wednesdays without fail. I'll be checking in with Dr. Nongogo. If she tells me that you're not going or you've missed even one of those sessions, I don't care, I will bring you back home kicking or screaming. Are we clear?"
Me: "Yes Mama."
Mother: "Good." She said exhaling a shaky breath... "okay then hold on for your father."
Me: "I love you too Mama."
Mother: "Okay, here's your father."
Father: "My baby girl."
Me: "Tata..."
Father: "How are you doing now? You're not in any pain right?" My father guys!
Me: "No, I'm fine now Tata." I told him softly... "I'm sorry for-."
Father: "I want none of that. Just focus on yourself okay?"
Me: "Okay."
Father: "I told him to bring you by to see us on the weekend." He informed me... "so I'll see you then baby girl okay?"
Me: "Okay Tata."
Father: "Goodnight, we love you."
Me: "I love you guys too." He hung up. The king who had been by the kitchen this whole time walked towards me when the call ended. He got into bed with me and just looked at me. He wiped the corner of my eyes with his thumbs.
Kumkani: "You hungry?" I shook my head. I had no energy to eat... "tell me what happened." He demanded after a while. After I told him, he just nodded not saying anything. I couldn't even read his face. Couldn't tell if he was angry or not.
Me: "I-I don't think he meant to be forceful with his touch or anything b-but h-he-."
Kumkani: "Stop." I closed my mouth and kept quiet. He started to brush back my hair in a loving way and I closed my eyes sighing. It felt nice... "what those detectives said to you yesterday is all true beautiful." He suddenly said... "are you scared?" My eyes were now opened wide. Oh my God! Oh my God! I swallowed thickly not knowing what to say... "the people that my clients want dead, I kill them." He told me so calmly. And he was still brushing back my hair. The way my heart was beating out of my chest. You guys had no idea... "sometimes before I kill them, I first have my fun with them." He carried on... "I do all kinds of torture to them and it exhilarates me and gives me peace at the same time." I was shaking a little now... "that's who I am beautiful. That's the kind of man you have allowed into your heart." Oh my God! ... "do you regret it? Do you regret loving me?" He asked me as his blank eyes roamed my whole face...and his hand not having stopped brushing my hair. How was it possible that I was both scared and relishing at his touch at the same time? I didn't want him to stop what he was doing. I didn't want to lose his touch. There was something very wrong with me. I was sick sick sick! ... "even if you do beautiful. It's too late to regret now because you let me in and I'm not letting you go."
Me: "K-k-king?"
Kumkani: "What's wrong beautiful?" His face moved closer to mine... "you wanted answers, I gave them to you."
Me: "D-d-do y-y-you k-k-kill i-i-innocents t-t-too?" He said nothing and watched me... "p-p-please...t-t-tell me."
Kumkani: "At first I killed anyone that my clients wanted me to kill without any care. But then I started to do my own research about my kills and found out some of my clients had wanted people dead just for the sake of it not because they did something wrong. So I decided to change the conditions of the contracts." He paused... "I only kill those who I deem as deserving of death." Oh my God! Were you guys hearing this? Because I wasn't sure if I was. I was just waiting for him to tell me that he was joking. That this was all a prank... "there's one thing that I need to make sure that you understand beautiful." He paused... "I enjoy killing." Oh my God! Oh my God! He was being serious bethuna. I could see it in his eyes. The excitement that shined through them when he said that was proof enough... "some call me a psychopath..." He shrugged... "I don't think I am...but..." He shrugged again... "what do you think beautiful?" Was this man being for real right now? I opened my mouth to say something and but nothing came out. He had rendered me speechless. He just watched me. Even now, his hand, even for a second, hadn't stopped or paused what it was doing to my hair. His other hand was on my waist. I can't believe that the hands he was touching me with now were the same hands he used to kill people and that didn't give me a feeling of disgust or anything. Don't get me wrong, I was scared...terrified even...but I wasn't disgusted or revolted by him. What I kept on wondering about in my head was what must've happened in his life that would make him to this person that he is now. What kind of trauma had it been? I mean, there had to be something that had caused him to be this way...maybe something from his childhood? I don't know but there had to be. Because I couldn't accept that he was only doing what he was doing for the fun of it with no reason attached to it whatsoever. No. I refused to. The king to me wasn't a bad person bethu. I mean, how can a bad person treat me the way he treated me? And how could a bad person decide to save me all those years ago and also recently from those men? No. I wasn't going to change my mind about him. I just couldn't. Yho you've seriously lost your marbles Khazimle! You should be running for you life right about now! This man is dangerous! My subconscious nagged at me. I know. But maybe I can change him after I found out what made him the way he is. Are you hearing yourself? No. But he had said once that he needed me. So maybe just maybe he wanted me to save him from his own self. You can't even save your own self, so how do you expect to save him? Maybe he doesn't need saving. You heard him. He enjoys killing. Nobody who wants saving says that. I also don't know okay! But what I know is that I couldn't just leave him. I still needed him anyways, since he was my life line. And as he had mentioned, I already allowed him into my heart. I was already into deep with him. Gosh! This was all crazy! I mean I just woke up from having a breakdown and now the king was dropping this bomb on me. What the hell?
Me: "W-why?"
Kumkani: "Why am I telling you all this?" I nodded... "it's because I want you to know your man." God! Lendoda! Would it be sick if I said I even got butterflies in my stomach from him saying that? ... "terrified of me beautiful?"
Me: "Y-yes." I told him honestly. Because I was. Terrified to my bones.
Kumkani: "Would never hurt you." For some reason I knew that he was telling me the truth. I believed him. Stupid stupid stupid! Sick sick sick! ... "and anyone that hurts you in anyway, I will kill them." God! Anga!
Me: "K-king, you can't k-kill Anga. Please he didn't mean to-."
Kumkani: "Stop." He cut me off. I closed my mouth... "don't speak for him. Don't like it." I could see it in his face, that he really didn't like it. My body shook with goosebumps. God! What did I get myself into?
Me: "I'm sorry."
Kumkani: "Don't worry little beauty. I won't kill your friend." My body sagged in relief. Oh thank you God! ... "but if he ever touches what's mine again, I will end him." I swallowed thickly... "come let's go to the kitchen. You need to eat." He stated leaving me no choice to the matter. I let myself get pulled to the kitchen and I ate the food he made me.
It has been 5 days since the king had dropped that bomb on me. I think my brain was still in a state of denial. One minute I would be denying everything that he told me, not wanting to believe it, and then the next minute what he said would be sinking in me. The way my heart freaked out when that happened, it was crazy, that's why I chose to be in denial most of the times. The king hadn't said anything else pertaining what he had told me. Nothing at all. And I didn't ask anything else. I think I knew enough. I really didn't want to know more. Nothing really had changed in these 5 days. He still treated me the same and took care of me. And I also still relished in his smell and touch. He was still my King. After he had dropped the bomb on me though, he was more silent than usual. And he watched me more than usual. Maybe he was observing how I was taking in all that he had told me. Don't know. But I didn't mind the silence. I had kind of gotten used to him and it. The king was silence and the silence was the king. It's just how things were. He liked being inside his brain. I sometimes wished though that I could know what he was thinking about. He was still an enigma to me this King of mine. The day before yesterday he had taken me to see my therapist and had waited for me in the car until my session had ended and we went back to his place. You would think just being with the king at his place would be boring but no it wasn't. I couldn't explain it because most of the times we sat on the couch watching TV and doing nothing else or he could be on his iPad while I watched all my favorite channels on the TV and that to me would constitute as being a very nice and pleasant day. I just liked being in his presence and company. And I enjoyed our nights more where I would be in his arms feeling safe, protected and at peace. It was everything. Anga had tried calling me a dozen times but I ignored his calls. Wasn't ready to talk to him. I had come to the realization that Anga actually liked me, and not in a sisterly way, and had been also aware of the crush I had on him in the past. Didn't know how I felt about that. But like what I said to him, that ship sailed as soon as the king entered my life. It was so crazy how when the king had entered my life our souls seemed to click into place. It was like I had been waiting for him all along. I don't know if anyway of you had experienced what I was talking about. When I was ready, I would talk to Anga and explain things to him and hopefully he'll be able to get over the crush he had on me. I had been having dreams of when I was 7 years old but the funny and insane thing was that the minute I woke up, I wouldn't remember the details of the dreams. Tell you no lies. The dreams were intense judging from the way my heart would be beating and how I would be shaking when I woke. I don't know if I was glad or wasn't that I couldn't remember the details of the dreams. When I told my therapist she still said that my subconscious brain was somehow protecting me from whatever traumatic memories I was dreaming about. The king seems to tense a lot every time when I mention the dreams I'm having about the 7 year old me. He once again urged me not to remember. I don't know why he was so insistent on that but I just thought at it as him not wanting me to be in pain and nothing else. His phones hadn't rang even once during these 5 days. It wasn't like the last time when he was getting calls left and right. Now I kind of understood why he would need so many phones. For the work he did, he surely needed a lot. I had noticed that sometimes there would be no network connection on my cellphone for a stretched period of time and then out of blue the network would be back and the messages I had from different social media would roll in. I honestly didn't know what was up with that. I had asked him about it and of course he had said nothing. I think he was blocking the network connection somehow. So mysterious! I tell you.
It was the next day. We were in the car. We just came back from visiting my parents. The whole time there, the king hadn't said anything of course. My mother kept on commenting how strange of a man he was, to me. Trust my mother to say that. She still didn't like him. But she was only tolerating him because of me. The person who at least seemed to have taken a liking to the king was my father. My father was also a man who said a very few words so the king's silence didn't really bother him. And just like the king, my father liked sports. So during the whole visit, my father and the king just watched soccer and rugby. Yeesh! Men and their sports! So boring! My mother and I had chilled together. I helped her with the laundry and also with the cooking.
We got to his place and he parked the car beside the street.
Kumkani: "Stay in the car." He suddenly ordered.
Me: "Wha-." He was already out the car before I could finish. That's when I noticed that the door of his place was widely opened. I saw the king take out his gun out as he so stealthily walked towards the door with his gun raised. Oh my gosh! What was happening? Did someone break in or something? I was shaking with nerves as the king disappeared inside. It hadn't been even a minute and he was out again walking towards the car. I breathed a sigh of relief and sagged against chair. He got it in the car and took one of his phones and made a call.
Kumkani: "Come." He said to the person on the other end in the most calm and deadliest voice ever... "there's three of them. Take care of them." Three of what? Take care of what? ... "no. Fucking amateurs." He spat... "I'm moving to another location. Call me when you're done. I'm out." He hung up and drove off........