A heavy concrete wall. That's what it feels like is placed on him. The mattress under him is soft but his chest feels heavy. His head is swirling, his mind clouded with everything and nothing in particular. It's been three weeks since ChangMin's death and Dae Ho knows he's coping better than he expected. Yes, most of the time he drowns himself in blame and shame but manages to pull out before hurting himself. A distraction often helps him, just like now, the ping of his mobile phone.
Dae Ho groans and runs a hand over his bed to reach for the device. He already knows the recipient of the message since the man is relentless.
Dae Ho lets out an involuntary chuckle, rolling his eyes. The doctor has been messaging him almost daily, sending morning messages with memes and emojis that hurt his eyes, and occasionally calling to check up on him. Dae Ho wonders how Haneul could be this easygoing after all he's done. He doesn't deserve the care and affection. The man not only bought food for him the first day, but he also stocked his fridge up with them.
Dae Ho gets up from the bed and takes a shower, styling his hair and wearing presentable clothes, a black polo with washed-out jeans and a leather jacket. It's been years since he's visited the Kim estate. He's nervous, although Haneul had assured him his parents wouldn't be home. Dae Ho doesn't know how he'd face the older couple since they had treated him like family. Kim Yoona even insisted he dropped the formalities when they weren't at work and call her eomma. The command was odd but he got used to it months before he disappeared. The ex-model couldn't bear the sight of Kim Jinwook in his early encounters but came to respect the man after he apologized for his behavior towards him.
Dae Ho wipes his hands on his jeans and dismounts his bike, removing the helmet and combing his hair with his fingers. "Let's do this," he whispers to himself before he enters the gates of the mansion. The place is as pleasant to the eye as he remembers. Various flowers on either side of the path leading to the main house, fountains sitting in the middle of the front yard, and lion statues near the entrance.
Taking in a long breath, Dae Ho rings the bell, his hands slipping into his pockets. A woman in a maid's uniform bows curtly as she opens the door. "You must be the young master's guest, please come in." She makes way for Dae Ho and leads him towards the guest room. He sits on the sofa but it gets awkward when the girl stares at him wordlessly. "U-umm, I need your jacket so I can hang it."
"Ah, alright." Dae Ho peels his jacket and hands it over to her. The room is too silent for his liking and he feels out of place. Where is Haneul when he needs him?
"Uncle Dae Dae!" A cheerful voice perks the man up, a little body barreling towards him. On instinct, Dae Ho holds Soomin when she closes into him.
"Hey, Soomin. Wher—"
"Nuh-uh!" The girl shakes her head in disapproval. "I'm not Soomin, I'm Minnie." She juts her lips out into a pout and folds her arms in a reprimanding manner.
"And I'm Dae Ho, not Dae Dae."
Soomin shakes her head again. "I'm Minnie and you're Uncle Dae Dae," she stubbornly announces with sass.
"But—"
"Uncle Dae Dae, can I color?"
Dae Ho raises an eyebrow at the change in subject and can't help but see a clear resemblance to her father in the girl. They have the same smile and eyes, an attention-grabbing presence, and sleeping in a starfish style. "Sure," he says and unlocks his mobile phone to send a message to Haneul when Soomin runs out of the room. She comes back with a pack of Sharpies and plops beside the fighter. He is scrolling through his feed until a wet tip presses on his arm. "What are you doing?"
"Coloring," Soomin replies without a care and continues scribbling the red marker over the inked daffodil wreath, her tongue poking out of her lips in concentration. "Your hwand is a coloring book," she supplies, uncapping a blue pen and gesturing over Dae Ho's sleeve tattoos.
"No, it's not." Dae Ho moves away but the girl inches forward.
"Pwease, Uncle Dae Dae. I want to color." Soomin gives her signature puppy eyes, not backing down till the other gives in with a loud sigh.
"Alright, you can color." He grabs a fashion magazine sitting on the glass table in front of him, unaware of the eyes watching the two.
"Didn't know you had a soft spot for kids." Haneul laughs with a shit-eating grin as he enters the guest room and Dae Ho flinches for a moment. "Always knew that deep down in that coal-stained heart lies a good-natured man."
"Shut up. You're late."
Soomin greets her father and goes back to color Dae Ho's arm with attention.
"Why don't you get married and have a child?"
"No, thank you, I don't want to marry anyone. I'm fine like this."
"Then you could adopt a child." Haneul pushes and Dae Ho shifts uncomfortably at that.
"In our country...citizens with criminal records cannot adopt children." He presses his lips together, a small smile making its way when Soomin claps her hands after being done with her artwork.
"Oh, I'm sorry. I didn't know." The doctor replies, picking the pens splayed on the cushion and putting them back in their plastic case.
"Appa!" Soomin interrupts, "Can you pwicture this?" She points at the coloring proudly, getting up and sitting on Dae Ho's lap sideways, holding his arm and leaning on it with a wide smile. And Haneul willingly obliges.
"Minnie, Uncle Dae Ho's arm looks beautiful! You did a great job." It's the little praises and encouragements the parents provide the children with that enable a child to strive for betterment and build confidence in themselves. Often comparing kids with each other and pushing them forcibly uproots the drive in them, a common mistake most parents make.
A knock averts all eyes toward the door, an old man with a slightly hunched back walks in, hands behind his back and thick-rimmed glasses sitting on his nose. Dae Ho stands up and bows to the elder in respect, which the other man waves off and asks him to sit.
"Haneul says you wanted to talk about something important," Kim Raewon starts, scratching his chin and taking a seat.
"Minnie, I want you to go inside and play for some time," Haneul tells the girl who complies getting off of Dae Ho and sprinting out. "Harabeoji, you worked at Seoul Army Hospital, right? Can you tell us if you know anything about the research going on before you resigned?"
"There were a few that were happening so I'm not sure which one you mean." The old man asks in a soft tone.
"Umm...I really don't know that either," Dae Ho answers. "Perhaps...did you know anyone by the name of Park Juri?" He sees Raewon squint but still continues. "Trying to create a drug for strengthening or something. And some initials C.R.C."
"C.R.C.? How...how do you know Park Juri? Who are you?"
The question takes the fighter back a bit. "I—I was adopted by Park Seonho, her husband when I was a teenager. She died in the fire that broke out at the hospital."
Kim Raewon stands up abruptly, a light sound of crack following right after. "I'm sorry, but that's confidential. I think you should leave. I have nothing to say."
It's evident that the man knows what Dae Ho is exactly talking about. It's been years and he couldn't let the only way to find the hidden files be taken away from him like this. "Mr. Kim, please, you have to tell me."
But the man is walking away without a second glance.
"My sister died because of this! My life was destroyed because of something I wasn't even involved in!" Dae Ho falls to his knees with curled fists. "I beg you..."
"Harabeoji, you have to listen to his story. You'll know how important it is for you to break your confidentiality." Haneul speaks for the first time, going to Dae Ho and pulling him up from the floor by his arm. He narrates the whole situation, not going into details but about how Vee kidnapped Dae Ho and killed Minji for the research project.
"I didn't know..." Raewon apologizes, his features turning that of pity. "C.R.C., the full form is Cerberus Research Center. The project Park Juri was supervising, the government sponsored it. They wanted to build soldiers of high physical capabilities, strengthening them more than a normal human."
"What do you mean?"
"Extracting DNAs from certain animals and culturing them, then breaking and matching nucleobases to create suitable strands."
"Was that even possible?"
"No." Raewon shakes his head. "More like I don't know because I couldn't watch the lab animals being tortured whenever they were injected with the dose. Some of them survived for a few hours but had seizures and died, and a few...their bodies splattered, burst open on the spot. So, I resigned."
Dae Ho stares at the floor in frustration, anger bubbling inside. He lost everything because of this damn project. His sister, his well-built career, his friends, and his happiness. The greediness of others snatched away the second chance he had at life. He wants to torture Vee for days and let him feel the pain like he did. But the man already escaped once and Dae Ho couldn't afford to lose another one of his people. The next time he sees him, he's shooting a bullet through his head.
"There's one more person who worked at the center." Raewon interrupts Dae Ho's thoughts. "You can ask him, I'm sure if you explain as you did to me he'll give you the details of what happened to the research at the end."
"Who is that?"
The old man glances at Haneul. "Shin Beom."
"You mean—"
"Yes, your ex-wife's grandfather."
"Ugh! No," Haneul groans, hands coming up to cover his face.
"You don't have to come with me, just give me his address," Dae Ho says standing up, bowing to Raewon and thanking him. "I'll be forever grateful for your help, Mr. Kim."
"I hope you find your way, son." The man pats Dae Ho's shoulder with a curve of his thin lips.
"Let's go." Haneul pulls the fighter and leads him out of the mansion. "We can meet Mr. Shin now."
"But I thought you didn't want to?"
"It's okay." Haneul unlocks his Mercedes Benz and slips in, Dae Ho following right after. They make small talk until the doctor parks in front of the Shin villa. He's here monthly to drop Soomin off for a day when Naeun is allowed to meet her. He usually greets the older man when he comes over.
"Ms. Naeun is not home right now," the maid who opens the door informs as the two enter.
"We are here to meet Mr. Beom."
"Oh...I'm sorry, you can't."
"Why?"
"Mr. Beom passed away last night."