almost 900 reads, wow! you guys are awesome:) i love writing this story and I'm glad people are actually reading it....
we're starting to get into the good parts now so keep with me:)
peace!
oh and, yeah. this is soooo long. like really, really long. I can't believe I wrote this much. *pats self on the back*
ALSO, any readers who are reading any of my other stories, yes, the chapters for this story are 943852409572 times longer than most of the other stories. I don't know why but I have so much stuff I want to fit into this story and I just want to write it alllll the time.
'confessions...' will be up in a few days. I have a tonnnnn of homework-.-
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As I walked down the hall, I could feel the stares of everyone around us. Braydon walked silently beside me as we made our way through the halls. I kept my eyes on the floor and hoped that no one would bother me. Once I had finally made it to my locker I looked up and over at Braydon. He was looking at his friends down the hall. I couldn’t tell what he was thinking. I nudged him with my elbow and his eyes fell down to me.
“You can go hang out with them if you want.” I said quietly while shrugging, trying to show that I didn’t care. But I knew that I did. It was weird, but somehow, Braydon and I had become friends. We had a silent agreement that he was to drive me to school and back home. He even drove me to the grocery store last week and to the Laundromat. He was funny and sweet, and he hadn’t ditched me once for his friends.
He shook his head, brown hair falling into his eyes, “I’m fine. I want to hang out with you.” He smiled at the end of his sentence and I couldn’t help but smile at his cheesiness. Turning back around to face my locker I started taking out my books.
“Hey Braydon.” I heard a male voice say close by. I didn’t glance up and kept grabbing my stuff.
“Alex.” Braydon acknowledged him.
“I haven’t seen you around for a while. Where’ve you been?” Alex asked him. I paused and looked through my bag, making sure I had everything.
“Around.” Braydon spoke coldly. I winced slightly at his tone even though it wasn’t directed at me.
“Yeah. Whatever happened to bro’s before hoe’s?” Alex asked mockingly. I heard heavy breathing then a huge crash from beside me. I jumped away, looking at Braydon and Alex. Braydon had pushed him against the lockers beside me and was poking a finger at who I guessed was Alex’s chest.
“Shut up. She. Is not. A hoe.” Braydon said through his teeth. Alex grinned at him and cocked his head to the side. He looked exactly like a jock would look like, blonde hair, blue eyes and huge muscles.
“Well, well, well. Someone’s whipped!” Alex laughed then looked over at me, pushing Braydon forcefully away from him. I watched as Braydon fell into the lockers on the other side of the hall, mouth agape in shock. My eyes moved back to Alex who was striding towards me with an evil smirk on his face. I backed away from him, trying desperately to keep calm. He ‘tsk’ed and pushed me against a locker.
He gripped my chin and pulled my face up to his, “So you’re the one who’s got him whipped. Listen here you little loser, stay away from my crowd because you nothing but gum on our shoes-” He said before he was ripped off of me and thrown across the hall. Braydon stood huffing in front of me, back to me. Alex stood up, still grinning like a maniac. He then got up and walked down the hall like nothing had happened. The crowd that had gathered around the fight dispersed as soon as Alex walked away, acting as if they hadn’t seen anything. The bell rang overhead and I sighed just as Braydon turned around to face me. Worry and sadness flood his eyes.
“I’m sorry about that.” He mumbled looking down at his feet and kicking a pop can on the ground.
“It’s fine.” I said quickly before turning away from him and shutting my locker. I stood there for a moment, hearing his footsteps come closer behind me. His breath was on my shoulder and I stiffened as Goosebumps flew up my arms immediately. His hand brushed against my neck as he pushed my hair away from it.
Was I insane?! My mind was going crazy yet I stood there, dumbstruck. I had no idea what to do. His hand moved to my shoulder and he turned me towards him. He stared down at me for a moment and I stared up at him. I felt like my insides were melting and my legs had turned into jell-o. We weren’t in the hallway anymore, there wasn’t people scattering into their classes, and we weren’t at school. We were somewhere else. Completely lost.
“BRAYDON! AMELIA!” A female voice screeched excitedly shocking us both out of our dream-like state. He automatically stepped back from me only then making me realize how close he was to me. I looked down the hall to see who it was that was calling and spotted Lauren. She was skipping happily down the hall. She hooked her arm through Braydon’s when she got close enough. Jealously flared through my veins when she touched him. Anger swelled in my head at the sight of her face. Braydon flicked her off like the pest she was and stepped closer to me, still facing her. Her mouth pulled up in a sneer before she quickly disguised it. Her cold blue eyes fell on me and she smiled a fake smile.
“Can I talk to you for a minute, Amelia?” She asked me while sugar-coating her words with a sweetness that had most boys falling at her feet. Glancing at Braydon, I was thankful that he was looking at me expectantly.
“Uh, sure?” I answered her uneasily. Braydon looked down at me and raised an eyebrow. I shrugged and felt myself being pulled away by Lauren. She pulled me down the hallway and into the girl’s bathroom. She stopped in front of the white porcelain sink and began touching her face in the mirror.
"God, I need lipo in my cheeks." She groaned while pinching her cheeks. I stared at her as she picked out everything wrong with her face. She then looked at me in the mirror, remembering that I was still here. She pulled out a compact mirror that had a powder blush and started applying it.
"You know, you'd be so pretty with a little bit of make-up. And a dress. You know, why don't you come to my house tonight. My parents are out of town and I'm throwing a little...um...get together. I'll lend you a dress you can wear, just like old times." She said while applying the powder to her face. When she was done she looked at me expectantly.
"Uh..." I stared at her like she was from Mars. No words were able to come out of my mouth. There were so many things wrong with that sentence. We never hung out with other people around, I never borrowed anything of Lauren's, her parents never left her alone, and she was acting like we were still friends.
"What? We're still friends. That's what friends do." She said turning away from the sink and leaning against it, crossing her arms across her large chest.
I blinked at her, dumbfounded for the second time in ten minutes, "Uh...we are?"
She giggled and pushed my shoulder, "Of course silly. I mean, who else is going to help me get Braydon. Right now he's playing hard to get, but you guys are friends. You can help me! Just think of it as your apology to me." She smiled at the end, batting her long eyelashes and trying to get me to agree. A part of me knew it was a horrible idea and that I shouldn't go. But she was my only friend for a little over ten years and I couldn't just give up on that. Maybe I should just agree with it.
"Um, alright." I said, shrugging my shoulders. She squealed and threw her arms around me, giving me a quick hug.
"Alright, I'll pick you up from your place around five, okay? You don't have work tonight, do you?" She asked with her head poking around the corner of the wall that closed off the door from the washroom. I shook my head. Friday nights I had off. She smiled at me, "Great. See you at five!"
I couldn't help but feel that this was a very, very, bad idea.
"And you said yes?" Mason hissed at me, leaning across the table in the library. I shrugged then nodded.
"Yeah." I looked away from his disappointed glare and began to do some homework.
"Don't you ignore me now," He whispered while placing his hand on top of the work I was doing. I sighed and looked up at him. His eyes were narrowed and glaring. "She's evil. If you're going to this party, so am I. There's no way you're going by yourself."
"Going where?" I heard Braydon's voice whisper-ask. We both jumped and looked over at him. He was sliding into the chair next to me. He looked from Mason to me, looking for an answer.
"Lauren's party." Mason replied easily. I looked away, pretending to find my homework extremely interesting.
"Wait what, you're going Amelia?" He hissed. I flinched and nodded, not daring to look over at him.
"Yes, and I'm going with her. So she won't die." Mason added.
"Well, I'm going to then." Braydon said simply. I stood up abruptly and grabbed my stuff, heading out of the library. I heard Braydon call after me quietly, and then the screech of a chair echoed through the library. Heading into the hallway, I heard him trying to catch up to me. I was realizing how much trouble I had gotten into because of being friends with Braydon. How much I was starting to depend on him. How much I was changing. And it was bad. I had to be in control and now I was losing all of that.
"Whoa, Amelia, wait up." Braydon said as he ran in front of me, stopping me from walking. I huffed angrily, and stopped. I crossed my arms over my chest and looked up at him.
"What?" He asked, eyebrows drawn together in confusion.
"I can look out for myself." I practically spat.
"Amelia-" He started but I held up my hand, showing I wasn't done.
"We're friends. But I don't need you to be constantly looking out for me. All this trouble I've gotten into lately, it's because I'm friends with you. Maybe we should just stay away from each other. I mean, it's only gotten me into crappy situations." I said. I hadn't realized it until now, but it was true. Lauren got mad at me because of him; he got into a few fights because people saw us together. I didn't want any more trouble.
"Is that what you want?" He asked quietly. I couldn't look at him, afraid of what his face might look like.
"Yeah. We should just be acquaintances." I tried sounding confident and somehow it worked.
"Okay." He said even quieter than before. I nodded to myself before walking around him and down the hall to my locker.
I stood on my front porch with Mason by my side. He looked up at my house like it was a foreign country. Cleary Mason wasn’t poor.
“Pretty great huh.” I said sarcastically. He shrugged and continued staring up at it.
“Do you want to come in, or just stand here?” I asked him while nudging his shoulder. He already knew what my family was like since he knows the whole story so this shouldn’t have come as a surprise for him.
“Oh, um, yeah. Your dad isn’t home, is he?” He asked sounding slightly frightened. I shook my head.
“My dad hasn’t been home for two weeks now.” I replied while sticking my key in the white plastic door. Mason held open the flimsy screen door for me. When we walked in, I flinched at the gasp Mason made.
“Oh, I’m sorry Amelia. I-I just feel so awful.” He said quickly, his accent shining. I glanced at him over my shoulder as I placed my school bag on the ground, his eyes were filled with sadness and his hand was placed over his agape mouth.
“It’s okay. I’ve been living here since I was six. No biggie.”
He sighed and placed his bag on the ground next to mine. He pulled me into a hug at which I didn’t respond to at first. I wasn’t used to affection. But after a moment I let my arms wrap around his skinny waist and buried my head into his chest.
“You’ve grown.” I mumbled into his pink pin-striped shirt.
“5 inches since I’ve been ‘ere.” He said while pulling away and smiling brightly down at me. I rolled my eyes and smiled back. Dropping my arms, I stared at him.
“Why are you gay?!” I laughed and walked into the kitchen.
“Sorry to disappoint the female population,” He laughed and followed behind me. I laughed again and turned to the fridge pulling out cheese then going to the cupboard and pulling out crackers. Mason sat at the small kitchen table while I started to cut up the cheese and place it on a plate next to some crackers. “So, how are you and Braydon?” He asked once I turned around with the plate. He wriggled his eyebrows at me as I sat down across from him. I shrugged.
“I told him that we should just be acquaintances.” I muttered while picking up a cracker with a piece of cheese on it.
“What!? Why would you do that?!” He yelled, slamming his hands onto the table which knocked it slightly. I dropped the cracker in surprise and stared at him.
“Because it was causing me a lot of trouble and-” I said trying to defend myself but he cut me off.
“Bull shit Amelia! You said that because you scared! The boy obviously likes you, he practically throws himself at you,” He stood up and began pacing around the tiny kitchen. After a moment he threw his hands up in frustration. “I seriously can’t believe you! And he even-” He cut himself off and threw a hand over his mouth.
“What? He even, what?” I said but Mason shook his head.
“I can’t tell you, I promised ‘im I wouldn’t tell.” He said while shaking his head furiously. I stood up and gripped his shoulders.
“Mason,” I whined shaking his shoulders. He shook his head some more. “Please tell me!”
“God, you’re such a girl,” He said grumpily before turning towards the kitchen door. He turned back around, smirking evilly at me. I raised an eyebrow at him. “He’s totally going to be at that party tonight. So you have to talk to him. Maybe he’ll tell you something.” He shrugged and placed his hands behind his head still smirking. I groaned.
“Jeez, Mason,” I sat back down and put my head on the table. “I’m so confused.” I rolled my head so I could see Mason clearly. He pouted at me and sat down across from me.
“You’re a girl; you’re supposed to be confused.” He said while patting my hand comfortingly.
“How does that even make sense?” I asked, my eyebrows sewn together, even more confused.
“Exactly.” He said.
“Uh...what?” I asked him while he patted my head like I was a dog. He laughed.
“You’ll understand soon, young grasshoppa.” He responded in a weird accent that was a mix between Russian and Chinese. There was a honk from a car horn and we both jumped, completely startled. I walked to the door and pulled it open revealing Lauren honking her car horn repeatedly. I looked behind me and spotted Mason walking towards the door. He rolled his eyes when he saw it was Lauren.
“Let’s go.” I said to him while pulling on his arm. He sighed but did what I said anyways. I locked the door behind me and walked over to Lauren’s car. She smiled at me then looked at Mason.
“Sorry, I promised him we would hang out. It’s okay if he comes, right?” I asked her. She smiled at me then nodded to Mason. I could tell she was checking him out. I didn’t blame her, Mason was considerably good looking. And now that he had reached his growth spurt and got a cute haircut, girls had been all over him. He hadn’t come out yet but he did have a boyfriend. The same one from the theatre, his name was Thomas.
“Hey Lauren.” He said and she smiled back at him.
“Hey Mason.” She said as we both slid into the car, Mason in the back seat and I in the passenger seat. She pulled out onto the street and did a u-turn, turning us towards her house. I could still feel an odd feeling of regret in my stomach. That feeling that something bad was going to happen. As we drove down the street and Lauren talked all about the party and the drinks and the people, I couldn’t help the nervousness brewing inside of me. I had never been to a party let alone a popular people one.
“Okay, so Mason why don’t you grab the drinks from the basement while Amelia and I get ready?” She asked as we pulled up into her empty driveway. She batted her long lashes at him and he nodded. We all got out of the car and headed into her house. Her house was huge compared to mine. She had marble floors in her kitchen and beautiful, shiny hardwood throughout the house. The walls were a creamy neutral brown and there was a long large staircase that looked like it belonged in a movie. She showed Mason where the basement was then dragged me up the stairs and into her sparkly pink room. I had been to her house a lot in the years we had been friends but she must have recently re-done her room because it was blue before.
“Daddy just had my room re-done. He even put in a whole make-up and hair vanity with all the salon stuff. I’m thinking about becoming a hairdresser!” She said smiling hugely as she led me across the room to the huge double wooden doors that used to hold her walk-in closet. She tugged them open revealing what looked like a hair salon. Well, a mini one. I stared blankly at it. I couldn’t even imagine the money that she spent on this. I probably won’t make that much money in my lifetime.
“Wow.” I said. She turned to me and with an evil glint in her eye; she shut the salon doors behind her and placed her hands on my shoulders. She dragged me over to the salon chair and sat me down in it.
“We gotta make you look great for Mason.” She said while winking at me. I stared at her in the mirror, scared at what the hell I got myself into.
“Stop fidgeting and put on the dress.” Lauren instructed me. She had put out a short black dress that had one shoulder strap with a pair of black converse. I stared at the outfit then looked back at her. She had finished with my hair and make-up and I had yet come up with a reason to why I had let her do all that stuff to me. She glared at me and I sighed. I quickly went into her bathroom and changed into the outfit, careful not to look in the mirror because I was afraid at what I would see. There was a lot of hair on the floor when Lauren was done in her salon and I could barely feel the hair hitting my skin. Finally, once I had the dress and shoes on, I came out of her bathroom. She gasped and smiled hugely at me.
“You look so amazing in that dress. I knew I could fix you,” She said sounding proud of herself. She tugged on my arm and pulled me towards her full length mirror. “Here, take a look at yourself.” She stopped me in front of the mirror and I stared at the girl in it. It wasn’t me. I couldn’t tell who it was. I touched my face, seeing the girl in the mirror do the same. Lauren was standing proudly behind me, smiling like she never had before.
“I look...pretty.” I whispered more to myself. I touched my hair which she had cut into a long straight bob that just touched my collarbone. She re-cut my bangs so they reached just below my eyebrows. She put a ton of mascara on my eyelashes, making my eyes look huge. She lined them with a black liner and used a smokey-eye effect with the eye shadow she used. The dress fit me like a glove and the shoes dressed it down. I didn’t even look like the same person.
“Lauren, I set-” Mason burst into the room and stopped when he saw me. “Sorry, I didn’t know she had someone over. Where’s Amelia, downstairs?” He asked looking back at Lauren. Lauren looked at me, smirking.
“I, uh, am Amelia.” I said awkwardly. Mason stared at me for a second before dropping the plastic cups in his hands.
“Holy shit.” He said, looking as shocked as I had ever seen him. His eyes roamed over me and it didn’t bother me because I knew he was gay. I shook my head and placed a hand on my hip. Lauren giggled a girlish giggle from beside me.
“Yes, stop gawking. Go back to doing whatever you were doing.” I scolded him. He still stood there looking shocked.
“Wow. You look amazing,” He said then began to grin. He turned to Lauren. “Mind if I steal her for a minute?” She nodded immediately and pushed me towards him. I hooked my arm through his and pulled him out of her room. He shut the door behind him and dragged me a little down the hallway.
“I have a plan,” He grinned evilly down at me. “You’re going to make Braydon jealous.” His eyes glinted with excitement.
“Why?” I asked with my eyebrows furrowed together.
“Because. Then maybe he’ll tell you what he told me.” He said shrugging. I heard loud music start from downstairs and the sound of voices began. I wrung my hands nervously and glanced at Mason.
“How?” I asked.
“He doesn’t know that I’m,” He lowered his voice and glanced over his shoulder, “Gay. So, you can just hang off my arm the whole night until he talks to you. Trust me, that boy has the jealousy bug in him.” He winked at the end. I sighed.
“Fine.” I mumbled. Mason brightened immediately and grabbed my hand, intertwining our fingers. It felt slightly awkward but I obeyed and leaned into him, trying to act couple like as we began making our way downstairs. The staircase was full of people already, couples making out and girls chatting their mouths off. I wonder how long the party had actually been going on for now.
“How long has the party been going on for?” I asked Mason in his ear.
“Almost an hour now. You guys were up there for a long time. It’s 8 o’clock now.” He responded while guiding us through the crowd. I felt eyes on me, guys looking me up and down and girls giving me glares of jealousy. It felt...wrong.
“I don’t like the way people are staring at me.” I mumbled into Mason’s ear. He pulled me closer to his side and I tried to keep my eyes away from the people surrounding us.
“Just try and get used to it, people are going to be looking at you like that for a while.” He said. We ended up in the kitchen and he grabbed us a couple of red cups and poured some beer into both.
“Cheers.” I said. He smiled and hit his cup against mine before taking a sip. I did the same. The beer tasted awful and bitter, it took me a little to swallow it. I glanced around the kitchen, trying not think about Braydon. There were some people playing some sort of game with their drinks and a few girls flirting it up with a guy sitting at a bar stool. Was that Braydon? He looked up and his eyes fell onto Mason. He leaned across the counter, smiling.
“Hey bro.” He said. Mason leaned across and bumped his fist against his. I tried not to look at him, hoping he would recognize me. Praying he would.
“Who’s the girl?” Braydon asked Mason. I finally turned towards him leaning my palms against the counter. He was leaning back in his stool and as he stared at me, his mouth dropped and so did he. He fell of the stool and onto the ground. I covered my mouth and looked at Mason who looked like he was holding back a laugh. I quickly composed myself as he stood up, face red in embarrassment.
“Hey Braydon.” I said quietly to him. He nodded in response, still looking quite shocked. After a moment of awkward silence, Braydon finally broke it.
“So um, did you come here with Mason?” He asked. I nodded and leaned back into Mason holding my drink in my hand. Mason wrapped his arm around my waist protectively. It felt really weird.
“Oh.” He said looking angry, sad and...Was that jealousy? Mason squeezed my hand, reassuring me that whatever plan he had was working.
“Well, if you don’t mind, we’re going to go...talk.” He ended it with a wink. Braydon looked even more pissed off when he did that. Mason began pulling me along. I looked over my shoulder and waved to Braydon. He smiled sadly before turning back to his drink and pouring himself a shot. I looked straight forward then up at Mason who was shaking his head and laughing.
“What?” I asked. He laughed some more.
“That was priceless! He looked like he wanted to kill me! And when he fell off the chair, oh god.” He sighed, ending his laughter. I rolled my eyes but let my lips curve up in a smile.
Once we got to the living room, we planted ourselves on a couch. There wasn’t a lot of room so I was squished into Mason’s side. Somehow I ended up finishing my drink and my brain felt slightly foggy. After a bit of hanging around talking to Mason, I needed some air. I leaned into Mason and yelled, “I’m going to get some air!”
He nodded at me and let go of my waist. I squeezed through the huge stuffy crowd of people, making my way to the kitchen. I stumbled slightly, feeling slightly lightheaded. I saw the doors for the backyard and headed towards them. As soon as the cool air hit my skin, my head cleared up slightly. Sighing, I watched my breath create a cloud then disappear into the sky. I heard the door slide open from behind me but stayed facing front. What was I even doing here anyways? I didn’t fit in here. This wasn’t me. I didn’t wear dresses, I didn’t try to make people jealous, I never cared what people thought of me. This wasn’t who I wanted to become.
I felt weight on my shoulders, then fabric sliding over my bare arms. I looked up, seeing Braydon standing a good foot away from me. He was staring up at the night sky, looking at the stars. I touched the leather jacket then slid my arms into, smelling Braydon all over it. Don’t get me wrong, it smelled amazing.
It was silent between us for a bit, both of us just staring at the stars. It was cold and my legs were going up in Goosebumps, but right now, I didn’t want to be anywhere but right here, right now. In this exact moment.
“So, you and Mason, huh.” He stated. I looked over at him but he was looking away. I laughed out loud.
“Why, you jealous?” I teased. He coughed and kept his head turned away from me.
“You look beautiful, by the way. I mean, I thought you looked beautiful before, but now-” He looked over at me and I raised an eyebrow at him. He wiped a hand over his face. “God, what- I’m sorry. You look really great. Amazing.” He said then rubbed the back of his neck.
“Thank you.” I said quietly, feeling the blush rise to my cheeks. I heard the small shuffle of feet and glanced up to see him move slightly closer to me. I smiled to myself and looked away, giving him the opportunity to move closer.
“You didn’t answer my question.” He mumbled.
“What question?” I asked, keeping my gaze out at the hot tub and huge pine trees that made up Lauren’s backyard.
“You and Mason. Are you guys...y’know?” He said while stumbling over his words slightly. I finally looked at him to see that he was standing about an inch away from me, still facing the backyard. I laughed again.
“No, we’re not ‘y’knowing’. We’re just friends. Trust me, he’s not...interested.” I said while trying to catch his eye but he kept looking away. I let my words sink in, and when they did he finally looked over at me. He looked surprised and his lips started to pull up into a smile.
“Really?” He asked happily. I nodded and couldn’t help the smile on his face create one on my own. After a moment, we both looked away and back out at the stars. I finally felt okay. For once in my life, I felt okay. I was okay. Everything was good. Nothing mattered to me right now, I felt as carefree and fearless then I ever had. It was serene and quiet; the world that was going on around us didn’t even matter.
“Amelia?” He asked after a minute of pure silence.
“Hm.” I answered, glancing over at him. He was fidgeting with the hem of his baseball tee, looking down. He looked almost nervous. But this was Braydon we were talking about. Braydon never looked nervous. He couldn’t be nervous. It was almost impossible. He took a deep breath and let it out. Finally he looked over at me.
“I really, really like you. I mean, like you, like you.” He emphasized the like and I stared at him. What did he just say?
“Uh...what?” I blinked at him disbelievingly. There was no way he just said what I heard. He turned his body towards me and looked down at me. His hands were dug deep in his jean’s pockets, and he stared down at his feet for a moment. He looked back up at me and pulled his hands out of his pockets. He placed a hand on either side of my cheeks and stared down at me.
“Would it be alright if I kissed you right now?” He asked quietly. I blinked back. What do you say to that?! It’s not like I could say no. It’s not like I wanted to say no. So I nodded. He slowly leaned down, looking into eyes for reassurance. I could feel his warm breath on my face and I felt my eyes close.
“BRAYD-” A female voice started to shriek but they cut off. I opened my eyes and he dropped his hands, staying where he was but moving his head back up. We both looked over at who it was that interrupted us. It was Lauren.