You knew that you were being unwise, acting out of impulse instead of reason, something he'd surely berate you for, as he always did, but you couldn't quite keep yourself away from him tonight, and for that, you could hardly be blamed. You followed the familiar path down to the west wing of the palace, slipping into empty rooms and hiding behind corners when you sensed the presence of another. The thrill of your actions soon replaced with excitement to see him when you neared his bedroom. Your knuckles brushed against his door in a delicate knock, loud enough to alert him that there was someone here but not enough to inform the other guests of your presence in their side of the palace.
"Give me a second," he groaned from the other side of the wooden barrier, his hoarse, clearly tired voice setting your insides ablaze as you waited impatiently for him to discover you, not considering the consequences of your actions for one second. "What could possibly be important enough to bother me at this hour?" he pondered, the door finally opening to reveal his disheveled figure, free hand scratching at his shirtless chest before he realized who it was that came to disrupt his slumber. "Princess," he nearly gasped, delicately pulling you into his room with a giggle from your lips as he looked around the hallway in desperate search of anyone who may have spotted you.
"I'm certain I was not followed, I was careful," you promised, tugging on his arm as his hand rested ever so gently on your waist.
"Heavens, princess," he breathed, closing the door with one final glance to the outside before meeting your gaze. "You know that you cannot come down here unannounced, anyone could've seen you," he scolded, and your excited eyes faltered for a second. "Not to mention that if I had known you were coming, I'd have made sure not to be indecent upon your arrival," he noted, lips shadowing the faintest smile as he walked to his wardrobe to retrieve a shirt. "I thought we were smarter than this."
"I hardly mind your indecency, my lord," you quipped with a smile of your own, ignoring the warning glare he'd given you as you padded further into his room. "And I'm aware my actions may have been foolish, but I had to see you and I couldn't be expected to wait until morning, not with the day I've had."
"I insisted on being the one to tell you, though, your father has never been one to be advised against a mind already settled," his voice had grown soft like it had when the concept had been suggested the first time when it was but a drop of water in an ocean of other possibilities.
"I am to be wed," you noted, though neither of you were unaware, your frustration clear even though much hadn't been said. "Am I to assume that my royal adviser fought against this?"
"As if my very life depended on it, as it does, no?" he was the first to step towards you, shaking his head as your excitement deflated into the hard truth of a fate you had no desire for. "I could only do so much unless I were to announce my feelings for you to the entirety of parliament," his calloused fingers moved slowly, as always, as he brushed a thumb over your cheeks to rid the soft flesh of tears.
"I have no say in the matter," you gasped, and he nodded in understanding, giving you a moment to breath when your fingers surrounded his wrists. "What if I wish to fight for you?" you asked him, desperate as you stepped even closer, seeing no need for space in a moment so drastically intimate. "What if I wish to fight for us, Rem?" you watched his eyes as they fled over your face, the simple slip of addressing him by his name made his entire body ache, an unfamiliar comfort he would need no time to adjust to.
"I wish to fight for you too," he promised in return, and you ached to be even closer, in his arms, against his chest, you ached for a level of intimacy only provided by the one whom you loved.
"But if we have no more time."
"We have," he objected, empty words, words to soothe your heart, but not your mind. "We have, and I believe we will find a way to be happy, together, but no more tears tonight, hmm," he cooed, and though you tried not to, you instantly melted into his touch when his other hand moulded around your cheek.
You lingered in the moment, wanting to savour every bit of it, knowing that words were merely words and that there was no guarantee that you'd find even a glimpse of happiness with the man you believed yourself to be in love with. You've always had stolen moments, and truthfully if the charade were to continue, you'd treasure the stolen moments even more than you did now, but there was something about the threat of finality that intensified your need to remember the faintest details of his very existence.
Remus was doing the same, of course, hiding his actions much more skillfully than you were, though he'd always had a habit of being the strong one between the two of you, the one who had the most hope. He saw solutions where you merely saw struggles and though it was his profession, it was also his pleasure to rid your life of anything that might cause you even an iota of unhappiness. Remus knew there would never truly be a future with you, not one without heartbreak and pain, he knew it to be an undoubted truth and he may not have a solution for that, but he knew what your heart longed for, and he'd be a coward to deny that his heart longed for the very same.
"Stay," he nearly whispered, no longer being able to bear the silence surrounding you, your eyes lighting up in an instant at the prospect, knowing his rules, knowing the dangers. "Stay here tonight?"
"Are you certain?"
"No," he answered quite quickly, smiling as you giggled softly. "No, not at all. If I were to consider myself a good advisor, I'd be advising you against it," he sighed, lowering his hands to entwine your fingers with his own. "But I do not wish to see you leave, not when you're upset," he explained and then scoffed lightly. "And selfishly, I'd have to admit, that I'd simply enjoy your company."
"I could leave before the rest of the house stirs," you noted, excitedly gripping onto his hands as he smiled at you.
"You could," he agreed with an intoxicating grin as he shifted slightly to guide you to the bed, knowing, of course, that you'd demand him to remain in the bed with you despite his constant objection, but he was in no mood to fight you on that tonight. "You need to release me, princess, I need to make room for you," he teased and though you hid it well, he was very much aware of the blush his words prompted, kissing your hand as he's done countless times before.
"Am I to sleep in this?" you mused as you looked down at your overly formal attire, his actions pausing as he realized you were still wearing your gown from the ball, having been so distracted by having you alone in his room that he truly hadn't noticed. You shared a knowing look, both laughing lightly as he moved away from the bed once again.
"I think you'd rather not," he hummed and retrieved another shirt from his wardrobe, eyeing you carefully to receive some sort of instruction as to what he should do next, having no lady's maid to assist you in changing.
"I shall need some help, if you don't mind," you breathed, uncharacteristically nervous as he nodded, moving behind you where his fingers hovered over the strings, awaiting your nod of consent before he exhaled slowly, nimbly ridding you of the contraption that bound you as he placed it down. You thought him to want to move away for the next part, though Remus was always one to surprise you, shivers running down your spine as his fingers brushed over your increasingly exposed shoulders, pausing when he found you to be able to do the rest, not stepping away until his soft lips whispered a delicate kiss to the bare skin.
"Princess," he breathed, suddenly very aware of his actions as he stepped away from you, realizing that though you've shared delicate moments before, this was entirely new and though an addictive idea, it was far too reckless of him.
"Not so concerned about indecency now, are you, my lord?" you mused, voice shaking with a rush of electricity caused by his touch, a smile on your lips when you turned around to see him, gripping your underdress tightly to keep yourself covered, his eyes not daring to leave yours as he smiled as well.
"You seem to rob me of all my restraint, your grace," he shook his head at that, stepping aside to the other side of his room, where he made sure to keep his eyes plastered to the bricks of the wall, patiently, respectfully, though no doubt torturously waiting for you to slip into his clothes instead of your own. You wanted to test your limits though, understanding tonight, more than ever, that your time together was fleeting.
"Remus," you nearly whispered, grateful for the close quarters as he turned, accepting your soft voice as permission to look at you, eyes lighting up at the sight and you thought yourself ever so lucky to be the reason behind the little reaction. "Would you hold me?" you pondered out loud, not sure if he'd allow you the illicit comfort of his arms wrapped around your body so freely.
"Of course," he was breathless, no reason for it other than being overwhelmed by the liberties the two of you were taking, liberties that could destroy you both, his life hanging in the balance, your virtue and honour threatened simply by his presence, but he was past the point of return, have been from the second he saw you standing in his doorway, he was at your disposal- always had been, always would be.
He sat down onto the bed nimbly, a hand held out for you as you met him there, ever so carefully allowing him to guide you to be next to him, a shuddered breath leaving both of your lips when you sank down onto his chest, large eyes never leaving his as his strong arms surrounded you
"I must admit, that not a moment has passed where I had not pictured this very scene," you confessed, shaky hands traveling over his chest, tracing the outlines of his scars through the barrier of his shirt, having memorized their position after years of pining from a distance, little interruptions of his sparring sessions, accidental intrusions like tonight- you'd memorized as much of him as he allowed you to see and then everything about himself he thought to be hidden. You knew it all, you loved it all, and you'd engraved it all into the walls of your mind in case you were to ever lose him. "I am so deeply infatuated with you, Remus Lupin," you whispered as your head laid on his shoulder, body moulded to his as if he was created just for you.
"As am I with you," he paused, your eager eyes swimming with excitement as he met your gaze. "As am I with you, Y/n," he noted and smiled when the simplest little gesture made your skin crawl with excitement, face warm against his skin as you placed a soft kiss on his collarbone, enjoying the way his muscles tensed under your touch. "You are to be the end of me," he teased, and his fingers brushed your chin as he pulled your face towards his. "I will always fight for our secret moments, for you- I will protect you with my life," his eyes were restless as they jumped from yours to your lips to your eyes once again.
"Kiss me," you nearly begged, hands fleeing to his neck as he pulled you closer. "Please," you breathed, and he smirked.
"You need not ask again," he whispered and when his lips met yours you knew your fate, you knew your future, you knew that not a man in this mundane world would be able to keep you from his arms- from his lips, every part of your body and soul was his and if you'd have to, you'd start a war for simply one more secret moment with your illicit lover.