I walked into Scarlett's room, she was stable, completely fine, she had a broken arm, a large gash on her tummy and cuts on her head but she was going to be okay. She was going to be perfectly fine. Which meant I had to tell her that her wife whom she adored didn't make it up to the ward.
She looked at me scanning me as I took a seat beside her, I held her hand. Robert was with the girls on the kids ward, they were all okay too, EB had a broken leg, Rose had a concussion and Noa had bad brusing but was okay. Rose hadn't stopped crying about Lottie. Nothing anyone said to her comforted her, I mean she watched someone who had taken care of her and loved her through out her whole childhood pass away.
"What's happened?" She asked, clearly I hadn't hid the look of woe on my face too well. "Are the girls okay? Are they hurt? Oh my gosh!" "The girls are okay... EB has a broken leg, Rose has a mild concussion and Noa just a little brusied." She nodded releif washing over her for just a moment. "Lottie?" She asked panic instilled in her once again. I squeezed her hand and offered a small smile. "Where is she?" "Scarlett." "Where is she? You didn't say she was okay?" I couldn't find my voice or the right words to say. "You're scaring me." Her lip wobbled. "I'm so sorry." Was all I managed to say.
"No." She sobbed. "You're lying. She was okay. She carried me out of the car. I rememeber. I remeber her holding me. She stroked my cheek." She touched where Lottie's hand was once. "She kissed me." She grazed her lips with her finger tips. "She told me she love me! I didn't make it up. She was okay. She was walkign and talking. What happened?" She sobbed gripping onto my top.
"Scar breathe." I begged her she was sobbing so hard. I was glad I didn't have to say those words that she was gone out loud because then it would make it real. "What happened? What happened to her! Why didn't they save her?" She said, her monitors were going off because she was getting that worked up, the doctor came in. "What happened to her?" She asked him. He shifted slightly uncomfortble. "My Wife! What happened!" She demanded getting angry now.
"Miss Johansson." "Kloss. Mrs Kloss." She corrected firmly. "Mrs Kloss, please calm down." He says. "What happened to her?" She asked again still holding onto me like I would disappear, she gripped my top like she used to, she stopped doing that. When Lottie convinced her she wasn't leaving her but I guess she had gone now and Scar felt alone. "Your wife, she had some head truama that we didn't detect." "Why not?" "Because she wouldn't let our team examine her, she was tending to her children... When she got here she was talking to her dad and then the effects came over her." "What happened?" "Scarlett, you don't need to know the details." "What happened!" She said firmly. "She had a seizure because of a bleed on her brain, the stress on her body caused a strain on her heart which-"She has a bad heart." "We know... She went into cardic distress and we tried to revive her but it was no use." "No." She began to cry again. "She was okay. She was okay." "It's common for delayed effects of a brain bleed to happen. Esspecally when we've not had the chance to assess her." "You should have made her... You should have fixed her." "She was being a mum Scar." I tell her stroking her hair. "Don't." She moved her head off my chest. Lottie would always stroke her hair to comfort her i guess she didn't want to be reminded of that right now.
"Do the girls know?" She asked. "Rose does, she saw it... She tried to-" "I need to see them." She says trying to get out of bed. "Mrs Kloss you should really rest." The doctor tried. "At least let us get you a wheelchair." She agreed, I pushed her onto the ward and we could hear Rose from here.
"Mummy. Mummy she's gone. She's gone." She said seeing her mum coming into her room. I helped Scar onto Rose's bed. "I know baby. I'm sorry." She hugged her. "We need her. She promised." She kept crying. Lottie died at 2 this morning, it was now 8 in the morning and she hadn't stopped crying yet. She had been hooked up to a fulid IV as they feared that she would dehydrate from how much she was crying.
Scarlett managed to calm her down, mum's powers I guess. She sung her song to her rocking her the best she could. Rose fell asleep with the soothing tone of Scar's voice. Scarlett held her for longer after making sure she was safe and sound. She littered the top of her daughters head with kisses. "We're going to be okay, we're going to be okay." She muttered.
"I'm going to go check on the girls." RDJ excused himself, he's not coping either but he promised Lottie he'd take care of the girls. Of her family.
"What am I going to do?" She asked looking up from her eldest to meet my gaze. "You don't have to think about that yet." I tell her. "I do. Lottie always planned, always had it undercontrol and now she's gone and I need to make sure the girls are okay and protected and loved." "You did that anyway. Loved and protected them everyday of their lives." "She did it better." "She learnt from you." I pointed it out. "She was terrified. When you first started talking about having a child. She learn everything from you so that means you did it just as good as she did." I told her.
"I can't do it without her. I need her." "You have her, in the girls." "I need her, I need her to hold me and tell me it's going to be okay." She began to cry again. "It's going to be okay Scarlett. We're all here for you." I tell her.
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We were at the farm. Scarlett was cradling a sleeping EB. "Mummy." Noa said coming into the room with her blanket in her hand. "What's wrong?" She asked, Scarlett didn't raise her eyes from EB. She clearly was upset, she was sniffling and she was meant to be napping. "I want Muma." I looked at Scar and then at her daughter that looked so much like her mother. Scar didn't say anything. "Go back to bed." She nudged her head.
"Come on. I'll sit with you." Rose said standing up from my side and picking her baby sister up. "Scarlett what was that?" I asked her confused she didn't even look at Noa. "What?" "She was upset." "I can't." "Scar." "I look at her and all I see is Lottie, her upturned nose, her big brown eyes and her cheeky smile. It's Lottie and I can't. I can't." "She's your baby. You have to." I stand up and take EB off her. "Now go." I tell her, she looked guilty, she didn't eman to hurt her baby. I got it she looked just like Lottie she even sounded like her, the posh british accent. Her happy smile lighting up the room her random bursts of song and dancing. She was everything Lottie was just in mini form.
"Hey kiddo." I say seeing Rose come back down and sit beside me again. She cuddled into my side and I wrapped my arm around her. "Mums sad again." She fiddled with her hands. "Lottie came and she was happy and then... Now she's not here she's not, she's back to that place again." "She'll be okay." She shook her head. "She won't even look at Noa. Doesn't let EB sing her songs. EB loves Lottie's songs. I tried my uniform on for graduation and she told me take it off. We remind her of Lottie. And she's hates us for it." "That's not true." "Yeah it is. If we weren't here, Lottie would have let the paremedic check her, they would have found what was wrong with her and she would still be here. It's all our fault." She hid in my side sobbing. I laid EB down on the sofa beside me and held onto my niece. "I got you." I rubbed her back. "It's not your fault. Lottie wouldn't want you blaming yourself." I tell her.
"Mum was going through old photos. For funeral. I stole one." She says looking up at me guilty. "It's not stealing their yours." "There mums." She pulled the folded photo from her hoodie sleeve, unfloding it slowly and showing me.
It was from hawaii. "She was my best friend." She said tracing her finger over Lottie's face. Rose looked so small, I forgot how innocent she once was. "She put up with me, my constant need for her attention and making her promise me she'd stick around. She put mum with my crazy sugar highs and my want for cuddles. She sang to me and taught me how to dance. She did my hair everyday and she would always answer my phone calls." She didn't take her eyes off the photo. "I called her phone and I got her answerphone, of course. She's dead she can't answer it. But in the background you could hear us all laughing and happy and then just before it cuts off she tells me she loved me. I remember it. I was being needy. As usual. And then she pulled me into a hug and kissed my cheek and whispered. "I love you my little love bug." She whispered.
"She loved you so much." I told her. "I wasn't hers but she never treated me any different. She filled in for my dad, she filled in for my mum when she couldn't, when she wasn't well. She didn't treat me any different to EB or Noa." "Because you were her little girl. She loved you and she was proud of you and she wants you to reach for the stars." I tell her playing with her long hair. "Mum doesn't know I have this. Please don't tell her. she's not letting any of us touch the photos." "I won't. This is your memory. Your mums just processing." "She's struggling." I kissed her forehead.
I was staying with them, to make sure they were all okay. Hunter Scarlett's brother was flying in to stay with them too. RDJ was still in LA, he needed time to process on hisself before the funeral. It hit him really hard, loosing Charlotte. I haven't heard from anyone else none of the cast, none of her family (Pugh's and Holland's) Though I haven't reached out to them either. I don't think I would be much help in their greiving, I couldn't even help the girls.
"Muma?" EB mumbled as she looked around the room. I let go of one hand and rested it on her side. "Wheres muma?" She was still half asleep. "Muma is in heaven." Rose says. "Can we go visit her?" "Someday." She said reaching gor her sister, she crawled across my lap. "I want my picture with muma." She frowned seeing it. "I'll get you one." i tell her. "I have her." Rose said, she was being strong for her siblings but she was breaking herself. EB wiped Rose's cheeks.
I left them and went up to the master room. As I walked past Noa's room I peeked in, Scarlett was singing softly to her cupping her face. Noa looked back at her with adoring eyes. I smiled to myself leaing them to their moment and going into Scarlett's and Lottie's room. I should have asked but I didn't want to ruin their moment. I pushed the door open and reveled the unmade room. Photos was scattered all over, it was like every album they had was vomiting photos all over the room.
Lottie's face was everywhere. Her hoodie laid on the bed on the pillow. I scanned the room to find a photo of EB and her mum.
I spot a photo of me and EB I forgot it existed it must have been taken last time I visited them she was showing me around the farm. The girls loved the farm they were always happy when they were out there, it was their safe space, where they could just be themselves, without the camera and expectations of the world on them.
The girls lives were laid out around the room, it was like having flashbacks. Their parents documented everything, every performance, every school thing, every holiday, every special moment. Even the ordinary moments were documented, like morning breakfasts, shopping trips, moments on the farm, horse rides. They adored their children it was obvious they were obsessed with their kids. We'd joke and tease Lottie that she changed when they had EB and she really did change she become more grounded she had a purpose in her life. This was evidence that they loved their kids. Who even had this many photos of the their children.
I finally found a photo of EB and Lottie, they were on set of their most recent film in Scotland. She'd like this one, I thought to myself. A big memory in her life, she would always be able to go back to their film where she spent months with her mum creating something that would exist forever.
I looked around a little more for Noa and her Muma, there were so many options to choose from I just wanted to find the right one, a special moment between them. Rose had the trip to Hawaii where Lottie promised her she'd never leave her or her mother. EB had her moment on set with Lottie. I had to find the perfect moment for Noa, something she'll remember. A core memory. Then I spotted it.
Noa and Lottie baked all the time. She was always baking something with her mother. And she'd ask to bake too. I slipped them into my back pocket and went back to the girls. Rose was braiding EB's hair how Lottie used to do Rose's when she was younger.
"Her you go princess." I say handing it to her. She smiled at it, tracing her face just like Rose did taking in every detail of her. "Rose." I handed her Noa's. "Give it to her when she's ready." She nodded.
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SCARLETT'S POV
I sat on my bed surrounded by photos of my wife, I had put the rest of them away. I had to pick the perfect photo for the funeral. One that showed who she was. This bright light in everyone's life, my perfect wife and an even better mother. "I miss you." I say looking at a photo of her from our wedding. She looked stunning and her smile was full reflecting the happiness we were both feeling that day. I never thought we'd lose that happiness. I thought her smile would be in our lives forever. I wish I paid closer attention to each freckle on her face and crease when she smiled, how her eyes squinted when she was extra happy. "God I fucking miss you." I breathed out, trying to use deep breathing to eliminate the never ending stream of tears. This was all my fault. If I didn't insist on stopping, on swapping she'd be okay. Because I would have seen the headlights coming at us and I would have moved. And she didn't even have a seatbelt on and she carried me out, she carried me and held me and walked on a broken leg whilst her brain was bleeding. This was all my fault. How did I let this happen? I broke our family. I shattered it. I ruined it.
"Mummy?" I looked up from my wife's portrait and saw my eldest at my door, her long blonde locks falling over her shoulders. She had a small smile on her face. Her eyes slightly red from her previous tears that had been shed. I wiped my cheeks clean and gathered the photos calling her in. She closed the door behind her. "Are you okay?" I asked her. I've been pretty absent, my brother and Chris have been doing all the heavy lifting with the girls. "Yeah, just came to check on you." She opened the curtains. The sun shone through, I squinted adjusting to the light. "What time is it?" "Mid-day." She said looking over her shoulder, she looked tired. Dark circles were painted on her pale skin, even her forced smile wasn't about to hide her lack of sleep.
I patted the spot beside me on the bed. "Mummy?" "Yes?" "You know she's not coming back right?" She asked me. I nodded. "And you can stop doing her washing, and making her a cup of tea." She says glancing at the mug on Lottie's bedside table. "Force of habit." I didn't want to stop doing those things. If I stopped it meant she was really gone. But I couldn't admit that to her. She'd think I was losing it. She didn't need to shoulder anymore responsibility than she already was. "You need to let go." She said looking into my eyes and holding my hands. Her hands were cold, Lottie always used to sit with her on the sofa holding her hands whilst they watched their show to warm them up. She'd have been laid there with her now making sure they were warm before she went on about her day. Looking at my daughter I was realising she wasn't this little girl anymore. She had matured beautifully. When did she grow up? When did she get so wise and smart? "She'll always be with us." She said touching the bracelet she's worn every day since Lottie gave it to her. The bracelet was meant to be a borrow but Lottie never asked for it back after her grandpa past away and Rose never took it off. Not for school, not for sport, not for a role she played. Their relationship was beautiful, and I was grateful Rose got to experience it. Lottie filled in the blanks, never letting Rose feel the absence of her father. She did it so effortlessly, never over stepping or sticking to ridge boundaries that restricted growth in their relationship. This loss was heavy on me but on our girls it was going to weigh on them for the rest of their lives. There'd be no one that could be able to fill the absence of their mother.
"You don't need to worry about me." I tell her cupping her cheek rubbing my thumb across her soft skin. I should be taking care of them. Making sure they were getting up out of bed and not getting stuck in the deep well of grief. "I am worried mummy. You're acting like she's here. Like she's still alive. But she's gone." She whispered like it broke her to say, it probably did break her to say it, it broke me to hear it. Her voice cracked slightly as she fought back the tears building up in her ocean blue eyes. "But she's always with us." She took her bracelet off and wrapped it around mine. "She'll always be with us, always. She promised she'd never leave. I believe her." She looked at me, looking deep into my soul. A tear fell from her eye, cascading slowly down her cheek, she ignored it, holding the rest of her tears back. "Baby, you keep this." I say trying to give it her back. "You need it for a while." She told me with a smile. "I know she's with me. I don't need the reminder but you do." She spoke so softly. I was so proud of what a selfless young woman we had raised. I'd never be able to thank Lottie for helping me raise Rose. She was every bit of good that Charlotte was. I hadn't realised how heavily influenced Rose was by Lottie until now. Noticing their similarities. Their strength and selflessness the level of grace they both carry themselves with.
She sat up straight still holding her hand on the bracelet that was now around my wrist. "Hunter's baking with the girls in the family kitchen... He's awful, we could use your help." She tried to smile but it didn't reach her eyes. My little girl was hurting and I couldn't stop it. "I'm going to stay here." I know I was letting her down. But I couldn't face the world that was outside of this room. In here she still existed. Her robe still hung on the back of our bathroom door, her tea on the bedside table. Her shoes lazily thrown in the corner of the room. Her perfume still lingered in the air. "Okay." She laid down. I frowned. "I'm going to stay with you." She told me, snuggling into Lottie's pillow. I wanted to tell her to get off it because it still smelt like her but I couldn't. I laid down and pulled her closer to me. I cradled her hand against my chest, slowly brushing my fingers through the lengths of her long hair to comfort her the only way I could right now. My words wouldn't be enough to make her feel better. Nothing would make this ache in our chests go away. "I love you baby. And I'm sorry." I told her. I was apologising for a lot in that little sentence. I was sorry she had to go through this. I was sorry I wasn't strong enough to support her more and guide her. I'm sorry she lost someone so close to her. I'm sorry that she witnessed it. I'm sorry that she'd have to wake up everyday with a hole missing from her life and no way to fill it. I'm sorry for all the pain and confusion that was still to come. I was sorry for anything the media wrote about Lottie or our family. I was just sorry. "It's okay." She mumbled. I pecked her head keeping her close to me.
Maybe Rose was right. Maybe Lottie was always with us because there was a part of her in all of our girls. And that was never going to change.
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I listened to my eldest talk about Lottie in front of the church full of people. She spoke so beautifully, so highly of Lottie. She kept her head high as she spoke her gaze momentarily dropping to the paper she held in her hands when her emotions began to take over. Her bravery was phenomenal. She had asked if she could be the one to speak at Lottie's funeral. I knew I wouldn't be able to get through a sentence without breaking down so I was shocked she had asked. I allowed her to making her promise if it was too much she'd tell me.
This was her way of getting closure of saying goodbye to her best friend and mother.
"Lottie was a lot of things in many people's lives. She was a good friend, an entertainer, a mentor and a wife. But her favourite role was being a mother. She had told me many of times there wouldn't be anything in the world she'd trade for. She took pride in it and it was the most important thing to her. Taking care of EB and Noa was something that brought her great joy. And I know it pains her not to be physically here with them for the rest of their days. But she'd want me to remind you that she is always there.
Muma injected herself into peoples life in a way that always left an impact. She helped people be better, she influenced them to do good, she made them laugh and smile and make all the bad things not seem so scary. She did that to me and my life. She was my bestie who became my muma. She taught me how to braid hair and feed a baby cow. She had dance parties with me and made me soup when I was sick. She taught me how to love and helped me grow. She never broke a promise to me or my sisters. She was always there for us in whatever capacity we needed her to be. She was the best person and blessed anyone's life who let her in." She continued to talk, I was proud seeing her being so strong doing something I couldn't do myself. Her eyes scanned the room addressing everyone that was here. She showed them love and understanding with a simple gaze. Standing up there supporting them the way she knew her muma would have. Her strength in this situation amazed me. I held both my daughters who were crying silently. One tucked away in each of my sides. I pecked the top of their heads trying to comfort them on the toughest day of their lives so far. They didn't completely understand what was happening, having been so young but they could feel the finality of the situation. And they knew their mother wasn't here.
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I sat quietly the girls were in bed and the only people that were here were RDJ, Chris, Hunter, Flo and Tom. We sat in complete silence, I looked down at my hands my eyes fixated on my wedding rings. I tried to keep my tears at bay I had been crying so much since the accident I didn't have anything left to cry. The memories of our engagement flashed through my mind, how we both wanted to be the one to propose and then our wedding day how perfect it was. How happy I was dancing with her. committing my life to her. Loving her. Marking our initials in the big tree along with her relatives where were previously married on her families land. Every moment I had spent with her was flooding my brain and i was overwhelmed with all of it. All the feelings, the longing for her return and the pain, flashbacks of the accident. Our last conversation. The was she comforted the girls. Fought to get us safe.
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ROBERT'S POV
I observed Scarlett for a few minutes, seeing her completely fixated on the ring on her left hand. She began to mutter something and that caused her to gain the attention of her brother who was sitting beside her. "Scar?" He spoke softly not wanting to startle her. She had been so fragile since it all happened we've all been trying our best not to trigger her into a breakdown. Though I wasn't fully convinced she wasn't already having one. "It's my fault." She whispered. "No, no it's not." He said holding her hand. "I can't do this." She stood up quickly and left the house. I rushed out following her to the drive she was getting in her car. I refused to let her leave so I stood with my hands on the front of the car eyeing her up. "Let me go." He shouted at me tears already trailing down her cheek telling me she wasn't angry at me for stopping her. She was breaking in front of me. "No." I tell her slowly walking around to the door pulling it open. I slid into the passenger seat. If she was going to leave at least I was with her.
"Your little girls are in there." I point to their family house that held so many memories, it radiated the love they filled it with for their children. "I want my wife." She sobbed. It was no secret Lottie had supported Scarlett through a lot over the years they had known each other. Nor was it a secret how much they loved each other. The two of them were completely consumed by each other, their worlds revolving around each other and their children. This was never going to be something she'd get over quickly. Equally she needed to be there for her children. They were breaking too. "I want her back." She sobbed again. She covered her mouth with her hands trying to muffle her cries. "You can want her but you can't leave your girls." I tell her firmly but still with compassion. It was hard for me, Lottie was a child to me. And I lost her just like the rest of the world lost her. But I'm not that wrapped up in my own grief that I can't see others. Especially Scarlett's, her life partner was gone, the women she had created life with, forged their own world away from the evils that had previously infiltrated it was never coming back. I knew it would be hard for her but if she could focus on those girls, on what her life had been anchored in for so long I know she'd make it through. It's what Lottie would have wanted. She wouldn't have wanted her girls to go through life without both of their parents. "I can't do it without her. I need her back. Why did they take her? Robert. Why did they take her from me?" She sobbed, gripping the steering wheel, her knuckles turning white. I rested my hand on hers, offering her a sliver of the comfort she needed right now.
"Because you're ready." I say simply. "What?" She looked at me like I was crazy. "She was there for you when you needed her, and helped you rebuild yourself. Find your happiness again. You're ready to be on your own with the girls Scar, their your happiness." She looked at me. You could see the broken heartedness behind her glazed green orbs. "She wouldn't have left you if she didn't think you were capable of making sure those girls have the best possible life." She swallowed the lump in her throat as her tears continued to fall freely from her eyes. "If she had a choice she would never have left your side. You know that." Her lips pushed into a straight line as she fought with her own thoughts. "You've got to do right by her, Scar. You have to be here for your girls."
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SCARLETT'S POV
My girls were on the horses in the pen. Rose was teaching EB and Chris had Noa on the horse with him. I stayed back. It has been a few months now. Since Lottie had gone and I stopped making her tea in the morning now. And I'm smiling more. I could look into Noa's gorgeous eyes and appreciate them again and not feel the pain.
Chris has moved in for now. To help. He's been amazing! I really leaned on him. He's been my rock. And the girls love having him around too. They still ask for their Muma, ask if they can visit her they didn't truly understand but as they got older they would. Rose got them all similar bracelets to the one Lottie gave her, telling her, her mum was with them when they wore it and none of them took it off. I often find EB playing with the little charm on it as she's falling asleep. It was bittersweet. They needed their muma they always would. I gave Rose the original one back because it was rightfully hers. Lottie gifted it to her and she hasn't taken it off since she was given it. It wasn't her place to find me comfort. I was her mum and I should be the one looking after her.
Things were getting normal again, well new normal. It scared me, that slowly all things Lottie would be ironed out. She wouldn't be lingering around our home. Her perfume would run out, memories will be replaced, the girls would forget. But it's what had to happen. We couldn't stay stuck in the darkness of her loss. We had to find light in the new things. I listened to Robert and found happiness in my girls, protecting them like I used to before I let grief overwhelm me.
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I watched my youngest say her vows to her husband. She looked so much like her mum up there. Her dark hair and big brown eyes shone in the natural light. My eyes were glazed over as I witnessed one of her happiest moments, her sisters to the side of her looking so proud of their sister. Noa was the first of the three to get married.
I gave her husband Lottie's ring to propose with. Keeping the Kloss traditions alive. They had been together since they were in high school. Childhood sweethearts and there was no doubt in my mind that they wouldn't last. Growing up Noa would ask about her mother a lot. She would always ask "Did muma like this?" That's how I got her to eat vegetables every day. She would get upset when she thought she was forgetting Lottie, like what she sounded like or looked like. But Rose was always there to remind her showing her videos and pictures and we all spoke about her freely. I didn't want the girls to be scared to talk about their mother. She wasn't a secret that needed to be kept. She was their muma that loved them so much.
EB was similar to Noa, having been so young when the accident happened she struggled to understand the gravity of the situation for a while. Often asking when Muma was coming back, when could they visit. She'd grow frustrated with me when I would try and explain to her that we couldn't visit Lottie. It was difficult for a few years but when she was old enough to understand she settled down and began to process the loss of her mother properly.
The loss of Lottie hit Rose the hardest out of the girls. She was old enough to understand and her connection with Lottie was a complex one. Lottie filled in where Colin lacked, she protected her, loved her, supported her and pushed her to achieve great things. She pulled away from the family at first. She struggled to find her place. It took me a while to actually get her to talk to me about her feelings and she wasn't 100% truthful at first. Grieving for her was hard and it came in many layers. She struggled to validate her grief. Not feeling like she should get to grieve because Lottie wasn't her 'biological' parent. She fought with herself a lot about it. After several discussions with her, I finally got through to her. Lottie was her muma, she never treated her any different to the girls, she loved her just the same. Lottie was Rose's mother and no one could take that away from here. She deserved to grieve just as much as any of us. She decided that living at the farm was too much for her and she got her own house in the village close to the farm. She had the girls over for sleeps over at least once a week and as she healed she slowly came back home to us. It wasn't a straight forward battle for Rose but she got there. She wrote a book about grief that she got published when she was 20. She wrote about Lottie and her sisters and even me.
I still lived on the farm. The cast would sometimes come, we'd have parties here and just hang out. The farm was still the centre of our family. It's where we all gathered, reconnected with one another. Maybe it was because Lottie was laced in the walls of this place. She was still here, sometimes I convince myself I can hear her loud laugh echoing through the halls. Noa decided to get married here after she saw our wedding photos, I was happy to host. Her mother would have wanted her to be married here. Keeping the tradition alive. I didn't want to put pressure on Noa to commit to getting married here. But it was her own idea. I was going to take her down to the tree later tonight with her husband so they could put their initials next to ours.
We spoke about Lottie all the time. Telling each other memories, her name slipped off our tongues, it didn't sting anymore, it didn't hurt as much. I missed her everyday and I never moved on, I could never love someone as much as I loved her. I would never be loved by someone like she did. She was my soulmate. And one day our souls would be reunited but I had to keep my promise to her, to love our children and protect them now she wasn't here. And that's what I've been doing. It was a rough start and it took a firm word from Robert but I kept my promise just like she kept every promise she ever made.
All this time I thought Lottie was my soulmate but she wasn't. She was my twin flame. My other half. And I had to live for her until we could be together again. I'd keep burning for the two of us, protecting and loving our daughters the way we vowed to.
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A/N - Slight modification to the final chapter <3