(Yuu)
I woke up in the middle of the night feeling weird. Not weird in a bad way, but not necessarily in a good way either, just weird. My head felt kind of fuzzy and I was more drowsy than usual when I woke up.
"Mika," I tapped his shoulder, for once he was actually out and I kind of felt bad for waking him up, "Mika Bika."
"HmmMMMmm?" He groaned.
"I feel weird." I told him.
"What do you mean you feel weird?" He half mumbled, he must've been just as tired as I was.
"My heads fuzzy." I said.
"That's probably because you just woke up out of a deep sleep," He yawned, "baby, I'm really tired and you probably are too. You'll feel better in the morning, I promise." He clumsily reached up to me and pulled me back down beside him, practically wrapping his body completely around mine.
"I really don't like this." I said.
"Sleep it off." Mika yawned again.
"No, Mika, seriously. I do not like the way that I feel right now." I felt my heart beat start to pump against my chest, but it still felt slowed.
Mika finally sat up and turned on the lamp, "Ok, what would you like me to do about that? Do you think it's something you ate?"
"Not really, we both ate the same thing and you seem fine." I said.
"Do you want me to go get you a water?" He asked.
"I, um, I would like a water but I know you're tired and you already seem kind of pissed, I don't really wanna inconvenience you so I can get it." I said and started to climb out.
"Nuh-uh," Mika pushed me back down on the bed, "I'm not mad, just tired. And inconvenience me? Shut up. I'd singlehandedly fight the entire nation of Sealand for you, bitch. I love you, bitch. I'm gonna go get you a bottle of water, bitch." he gave me a quick peck before forcing himself up.
I had never seen him that exhausted before. I still didn't like how I felt though. My body felt warm, it was a cozy kind of warm, but it was unnatural.
Mika groggily trudged back into the room and handed me the water.
"Mika, I'm really warm." I said.
He felt my forehead, "You don't have a fever, maybe just sleep above the covers."
"I'm really warm." I stressed.
"Ok," he sighed, "I mean this in the least sexual way possible, but take some of your clothes off."
"Oh, you're right. I'm a fucking idiot." I face palmed.
"Uh-uh, no you're noooooooooottt, you're smart, and handsome, and empathetic, and kind, and gentle, and good, and pure, and fashionable, and funny, and-" I cut him off with a hand over his mouth.
"Ok, ok, enough compliments go back to calling me a bitch." I joked.
"Beautiful bitch." He snickered.
I started to pull off my shirt when I noticed his eyes were practically glued to me, "Don't you look at me, hoe. This is non sexual. I will move rooms so fast."
"It's not sexual," he whined, "I just love you. Everything you do always has my full attention."
I took my shirt off lightning fast and pulled the string on the lamp so he couldn't be weird.
"You think that'll stop me?" He asked as he readjusted himself and pulled me on top of him, "Nothing stops me, pretty boy."
"Go back to bed." I lightly tapped the side of his cheek in a joke slap and he grabbed my hand and decided now was the perfect time to kiss random parts of me.
"You're so perfect." He mumbled, I could tell he was getting tired again.
"This is pretty homosexual." I just figured I should I let him know.
"Oh shit, well fuck me surprised, I just thought you liked to free the titty every once in a while." He said sarcastically.
"Free the titty, protect the city." I replied.
"Say no to bras and yes to masks." He grumbled.
My sense of humor was short lived as I felt my stomach turn violently, "Fuck!" I rolled off of him and held my stomach in immense pain.
Mika was wide awake now, he turned the light on and was staring at me with wide eyes, "You're really sweating, Yuu." He was doing his best to try and help me while trying to get what was wrong.
I gagged, "Grab the," I gagged again and my eyes started to water, "grab the garbage can."
Mika leaned over me and pulled the bedside trash can up lightning fast and I wasted no time in puking in it so hard I was afraid it would start to come out of my nose.
Mika was trying to help by rubbing my back, but that honestly just made me feel worse, "Don't touch me," I managed to get out before another wave of nausea came over me, "it's too warm."
Mika stared at me the whole time no matter how much I wished he would stop. He was horrified, I think he felt guilty for something, my guess was not taking me more seriously earlier.
"I'm sorry," he mumbled, "I'm so sorry. I'm so so sorry."
"You- shit," I had to cut myself off as I emptied the remaining stomach acid into the trash can, I spit one final time and wiped my mouth, "You didn't do anything wrong." I said, my breathing harsher than before.
"I shouldn't have been so out of it earlier, I'm sorry that I wasn't better for you. I was being selfish and I really just want to make you happy, I should've known better. I don't know what was wrong with me earlier." He rambled on.
"Mika, seriously, it's ok. You didn't do-" my head started to spin and a buzzing in my ears caught my full attention, "anything... wrong." I grabbed my head as I felt myself start to lose balance just from sitting up. I looked at Mikaela, "I don't... I don't feel so good." My eyes rolled back, Mika's gasp was the last thing I could comprehend.
...
(Mika)
"Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit, oh shit, oh my god, oh my god, oh shit, oh fuck me, what the fuck?" I placed the trash can on the floor and pulled Yuu's head into my lap as I started frantically fanning him, trying to figure out what the hell to do next.
He opened his eyes wide, looking confused and alarmed.
"Yuu! Are you alright? What day is it?" I felt like a soccer mom for some reason.
"Ok, I know this is going to sound bad, but I'm really bad with days. I genuinely do not know, but I'm pretty sure it's not the weekend." He said slowly.
"Right now is a really bad time to be stupid." I informed him.
"That was uncalled for," He crossed his arms. In a moment his face turned from a scorn back to a drowsy look of nausea, it was less intense than earlier but he obviously still felt like shit, "I'm exhausted."
"Ok, we can go back to bed." I was trying my hardest to maintain whatever facade I was going for, but I was panicking on the inside and for once I felt genuinely guilty for something I'd done. I was a fucking monster and my lapse in sanity put Yuu through this. I didn't know how I would feel when he finally caught me.
Everything just felt so intense and the self hatred and the guilt and the remorse was crushing me on all sides. And then there was just an overwhelming sense of numb as my present and my memories seemed to be in completely different time lines. The buzz going through my body didn't really help it either.
I looked down at Yuu, he was already asleep again, his face scrunched up in discomfort. And as some things refuse to change, I found myself drawn in. Seeing him like that reconnected some wires in my head, and the emotions pounded dully against my skull.
I knew that by now he had to be very out. He was tired anyways and that just knocked all the energy left out.
I carefully intertwined my fingers in his hair, twirling a black lock around my pointed finger, "I'm failing you. The love that I feel for you, and the hatred, the attraction, and the absolute repulsion I feel towards you is going to drive me off a cliff. I'm not good for you, and I know that, and I want to be able to move on at the very least because I know I can't make you as happy as you deserve to be, I honestly don't think I can even make you happy. All I do is hurt you, and if I was healthy, I'd be able to let you go, because I know that you don't fully understand how bad and how frequently I disappoint you. But I'm so stuck in this loop, and I really don't think anything could pull me out until I don't even know you exist. I want you to be happy, but sometimes I want to be happy too, and that's so hard when I'm this dependent on you, and I don't even want to talk to you about it because I know I don't deserve it," I let go of his hair and kissed him on the forehead, "I really can't do this. What I asked for was not as simple as an empty promise, I've ruined any chance either of us had."
. . .
I LIVE!
I'M JUST VERY VERY BUSY!
ALSO I'VE STARTED REWATCHING OMORI GAMEPLAY SO LETS TALK ABOUT THAT INSTEAD OF MY MONTH AND A HALF ABSENCE!
I LOVE YOU ❤️
BYE