Today marks the day that my mom will be back. Yes, a week has passed since then. V already returned after 3 days of missing but he is not staying with me because he said he have a matter to solve. Jenny is not in the house anymore, Aunt Jaein arrived two days ago to fetch her daughter. That made me left alone inside the big mansion.
I felt so lonely and sad with just myself inside a house that big so I left as well. I stayed in my house on top of the restaurant for the meantime. My friends are asking me about V's disappearance, resulting for me to come up with a lie and cover the truth. Even if I tell them the real reason, they will only laugh at me and call me insane. The reason is truly unbelievable and hard to be true. So it must be kept.
I whistle while driving my car to the airport. When I arrived, I just stayed inside and wait for my mom to come out. She knows my car so I'm not bothered that she's not going to spot me. 1 hour of waiting and I finally sees my mom coming out from the airport. I was never wrong when I said she knows my car.
She smiles so brightly than the sun and ran towards me. I get out from the car and engulfed her with a big hug. "I missed you, mom!" I said while swaying our bodies.
"Aww. I missed you too, kookie! How's you days when I'm gone? Did you eat three times a day? Are you sad?" She interrogated me all the way to our house. I just keep on answering her questions. When the topic turns to V, that's when it hit me. I never had the chance to ask her about my dad just like what V said. This is the right opportunity to tell her that I know about their talk. Though I don't want to ruin her mood.
It made me think twice, should I ask her or choose another day? I don't want to spoil her mood. She looks so happy today, maybe some other time. Yeah. I should savour this moment with her.
So I didn't ask her about anything and just accompany her all day. Tomorrow she'll be working again and will arrive late at night. It will be hard to have another chance to talk about the issue but that's fine. I'm always with her anyway. The time is not running out. I have plenty of days to choose. What could go wrong?
-
Everything is falling apart! Everything is going to the wrong path! A month later, my mother caught a cold. I thought it was just normal. I thought the next day it will go away because she's taking her medicine seriously. But I was wrong.
Today count the day as her 13th day in bed. She doesn't have any energy to get up. At first it was not this fatal. I remember she can still smile at me and walk around the room. Day by day she loses her energy and her will to live. As if a curse has been casted on her. She can't eat by herself. She can't stand. She can't lift her arm to reach for water. She can't walk to take a bath. Everytime she need a person to assist her. And that's me. I'm her only son.
God, she's only 44! Why is she suffering an illness in an early age?
I wanted to cry everytime I laid my eyes on her. She keeps on giving me a sincere smile but that only hurts me more. She's always apologizing to me for being a burden. But it is always okay for me. She is never a trouble to me. Taking care of her is one of the things I wanted to do to repay all of the things she provided for me.
Her, getting sick made me forget about the thing I really wanted to ask her. I forgot about the answer I was seeking. I only wanted for her to get better and turn back to her normal self. The jubilant mother I have.
Never a day pass by that her secretary calls. She keeps asking about my mom's health and ensuring me that the company is safe and in good condition. My mother is actually lucky for having a reliable secretary. One day she went here to visit my mom and I can clearly see her sincere action towards my mom. She is a very lovely person. I don't want to inherit that company because I don't have any clue how to manage it so I was planning on giving it to my mother's secretary. Will my mother agree?
V also gave me sympathy and we take turns on taking care of my mom. When I need to do errands, I will left him in charge. My mother is not complaining and instead she's grateful for having V. And even though she's ill, her naughtiness is still inside her. She keeps teasing me about giving a chance to make V my husband. I would always scrutinize my face and she'll laugh at me.
As for my friends, they understand my situation and ensure me that the restaurant is in good hand. I keep on apologizing to them for I can't work with them because of my mom's state. They just accept it and supported me. They also visit my mom from time to time and accompany her.
"You look like shit.." V commented when seeing me making my fifth coffee for this night.
"Wow. Thanks for the compliment.." I sarcastically said. I stared at the open window where I saw the dark starry night. The moon is full and the stars are scattered throughout the sky. It nice for the eyes and helps me calm my worried heart. If I am a painter, I would paint this view.
"Did you ask her?" He said.
"Ask her what?" I feel like we've been in this situation before. A deja vu they say.
"About your father?"
Silence took over us when I didn't answer. I sighed after a while of being quiet. "I don't have time to do that. What I am concern about now is her health. She's just keeps getting worse and worse!" I said frustrated.
"You should ask her. I don't want you to regret your decisions in life.."
"What do you know? And why do you keep pushing this topic?"
"Beats me.." he just shrugged his shoulders and vanished. Literally.
This is only making my head hurts even more. Yes, I am still eager to hear my mom and my dad's story but in my mother's case, can she tell? And what is he saying about regretting my choices? Is this his way of telling that if I didn't ask my mom now, I will not have any more chance? Is he saying that my mom is dying?
Shit!
The reality slapped me so hard. Her illness, day by day it's getting worse as if it has no cure. Is this the truth? Can't she really be cured? The thought made me burst into tears. I slumped on the floor while water from my eyes flows down to my cheeks like a heavy waterfall. I hate this feeling. Am I going to lose her soon?
The morning comes that I didn't even realize that I fell asleep. I woke up in my room and my head is throbbing in pain. I tried to get up and walk to drink Advil and go to my mom's room. When I reached the door I carefully opened it, in fear that I will wake her up. But then I heard voices from two people. And the topic they're talking about shattered my heart into million pieces.
"I'm sorry about the things I have done that caused misery to your life, Taehyung. I'm such an ignorant about the deal I had made. My lack of information caused me to lose a very important person in your life and in my life also. I took away my son's right to meet his father. I know it's hard for you to forgive me.." my mom chuckles. "Believe me or not, I've planned all the things I would do to make it up to you but it seems like, luck is not on my side.." she sighed.
"What do you mean??" V asked, he seems lost as well as me.
"I've dreamt of my husband a month ago, he's calling for me and waiting for me to go to him. It looks like he still can't forget about me." She laughed. "That is his way of wishing for my death. I have wandered around this world for too long, I think it's time for me to go and meet my husband—"
I burst the door open with my tear tainted face. They stopped to turn to me. A painful expression flashed on my mom's face. But that doesn't outrun the painful feeling I have now. Hearing from your own parent that they will depart from this world puts me in sorrow. I never wished to mourn over her dead body!
What's unexpected is when she smiled at me. A smile that indicates she had accepted what fate wrote for her. What about me? Did she think about what I will feel if she ride the boat with the Grim Reaper? She knows how much I love her and she knows I will never accept it if I were to lose her...... And I know I can't do anything to stop this all from happening. I don't hold such a power to break the written fate. She can't go back.
And I am being such a big selfish. My father has asked for his wife. He must really be longing for her. But why!? Why must he take her this soon? I have only spend a short time with her. I still have lots of things to do. I still want to spoil her. I...I can't let her go yet.
I cried like a kid and stomped my feet to my mom's bed. I slumped on the floor and buried my face on the mattress. She rub my head as I let all my sobs out. But no matter what I do, I couldn't calm down.