The soft gentle breeze sends consolation to my soul as I stand outside my room, staring at space.
The sky is clear with bright stars and a few gray clouds hugging the moon. The animals sleep in the yard, see a chicken on a wood stand, getting into a bun pose.
I lower my gaze at my hands, both of them clutching tightly to one another. I tried to sleep, get some peace from the news of what Pearl said. But my brain couldn't.
It was still thinking of the day when Maytivoza kissed me.
It was sudden; unexpected, extraordinary. Yet, had a purpose.
The way she pressed her lips to me, accepting it like it only her lips my lips seek, took me to a world I never knew existed.
I was still frightened of women. I still do. I can talk to them and get close to them, like Fatima.
But none of them can make me care about them the way I do with Maytivoza. None of them can make me laugh and mad like her. None of them can make me think the way I think of her.
Especially make me love them like her.
I rise one of my hands up to my lips, let my index finger touch it softly, rethinking my first kiss with someone I love.
I want to do it again. Maybe more than that.
"Why are you still awake?"
I turn my gaze at Richard, walking up to me with no shirt.
His light brown hair is all messy with his sweatpants loosely hanging on his waist.
"Did you go to the bathroom?" I told him, staring at his underwear.
He didn't mind as he stands next to me, staring at the open backyard. "Well, I didn't expect anyone to be awake, but since it you, eh." He shrugged, not even bothered.
I ignore him, feeling my body cool down from my thoughts.
"So...why are you still awake? Upset at what your mother said on the table?" I see him pull out a cigarette from his pocket, reaching a small black lighter from his other pocket.
"Why do you assume that's the reason why I'm awake?" I hiss at him, see his face unfazed from my words.
"Because it looked like for me you were thinking about that girl." He puffs out a low gray smoke from his mouth, takes another.
I didn't answer him as I let myself be distressed about tomorrow. "How was she like?"
"Who?" He asked.
"Georgina," I told him.
He didn't like that as he lower his head, sighing in misfortune. "Just like your mother. Always causing chaos around her."
He took another puff, similar to the way mum does it. "But why you ask? You always seem to hate us. Given we didn't..." He paused from his words as I can sense the tension he's about to bring.
"Don't worry. I never really cared until now." I ease the pain that was about to occur, involuntarily touching the golden bracelet in my pocket.
Richard looked at my action, bowing his head again. "Hmm. I don't think you know this. But I always feel like I fail in taking care of my children, you know? I fail to have you here with me when you were a child, my only son. I fail to get my eldest daughter married. Even if it's a dumbass, as long it someone, it's doesn't matter to me. And I fail to protect my young daughter from the world she's fighting to see. I fail on all of you."
He suddenly start splatting words that strangely made me feel guilty for him. The words that he utters had expectations that I never thought I'll hear from him.
I didn't say or do anything as he speak.
"I...I notice how...how Georgina was so virtuous, sweet, and caring to everyone around her when she was young. She never tried looking at the terrible and painful world we lived in. She was always delighted and wanted to help others." He whispers to himself, witnessing a small glee into his eyes.
"But...when she heard, about your mother telling Sapphire to be an assassin, how there is misery around her, she realized how important that was to her. How she can do good for the world by...by killing people."
He shakes his head angrily. He couldn't speak anymore as he cover his mouth; his whole body shiver in pain.
"I wished she never follow that path. The path of sorrow and guilt that she hadn't seen yet. Alexander. You don't know how much it hurt me to see my own daughter think I don't feel her pain. Because every time she pushes me and continues this, the more it hurts me."
I sigh, closing my eyes as I place my hand onto his shoulder, softly squeezing it. "We are going to get her back, dad. We are going to show her the true meaning of this world and what she should do before it is too late."
He sniffed, nodding his head. I come closer to him, letting the night around us be our relief from the world we live in.
••••••••
The chickens from outside call early in the morning to wake us up, groaning in anger at the lack of sleep I took. Part of me wanted to grab that rooster and break its neck to shut it up.
But when I see Alice staring at the little television that shows a cartoon in Spanish—an pink elephant and an orange giraffe dancing—all my anguish went away.
"Good morning." I softly whisper to her.
She removes her eyes from the T.V and smiles grandly at me. "Go-good morning." She battles.
She laughs at herself before running toward me from the couch, slamming into my arms. I clench tightly onto her; hope no one does harm to this person in my lifetime.
"Wait. This ain't you?" We both look up at Zeke who's laying in the single bed we have, lifting his eyes to see someone else sleeping with him.
I stare in mischief as he picks the cover and sees Richard underneath.
"What the hell?! I thought this was you!" He outcries, standing up from the bed.
His eyes widen as he proceeds to stare at the bed in atrocity as I walk toward it, see my dad still sound asleep.
"Why the hell is he here? Don't he have a bed with a woman with it?" Zeke meets me.
"Calm down. We talked last night and he couldn't go to his bed so I took him here to ours." I told him.
His face didn't show any uplift remark as he still express disgust, looking at my stupidity. "What is he? Disable to get up and go to his room?"
I roll my eyes at him, about to wake dad when I heard Pearl's scream.
"It's your problem," I told him as I leave the room and head toward Mum.
I pass the hall that still smells strongly fabulous, and head to the entrance of the house. The back of Pearl faces me as she shields the person ahead of her.
The sun was rising as its rays blazes around the glass door, making it difficult to see who is standing there. The air was humid as I hear Maria setting breakfast as the television aired a Spanish news channel.
"Brown." A soft voice came from Pearl, leaning closer to the person Mum called.
My heart halted as the woman that stood before us had her head down; her brown eyes stare at the floor, and her hands held to each other.
She was tall and fit, but she show a lot of weakness as she avert our gazes and show no solace.
"Brown. Thank god you are here. I was a worry for you." Pearl meets her and hugs her that she wasn't foreseeing.
Brown left her shoulder hanging lower but her face rise as she stares at me. Our eyes locked as she showed dismay.
"Who...who are you?" I could barely hear her, but Pearl moved back, looking at me.
I didn't answer her as Pearl pull her attention back to her.
"Come. Let's sit and get you settle."
Pearl pulls her toward the kitchen as her eyes never left mine. I was about to follow--however, I felt it's important to let her talk with Pearl and to make sure she's the right woman.
"Ah, good morning, señor. How was your sleep?" I turn around and see Luis welcoming me.
"Okay until your chicken woke me up." I blandly told him.
"Hmm." He paused. "Won't blame you. That rooster always gets on my nerve. Maybe I should kill him and get some good meat out of him."
"No, no. You are not going to do that, Luis. You know we need eggs more than we need one-time chicken meat. It's useless."
Maria was quick to intervene as she walks out of the kitchen and into our discussion.
"Cálmate, Maria. Estaba jugando." He tried to play around. (Calm down, Maria. I was joking.)
"Que un mentiroso tú eres. Alexander," She shifts her conversation to me. "No le escuche. Si puede mentir una vez, puede hacerlo otra vez." Maria went too far as Luis stared at her, his mouth open.
(Such a liar you are. Do not listen to him. If he can lie once, he can do it again.)
I was about to say something, but deep down, I know it won't help the battle ahead of me.
So instead of lingering with them, I went outside and slowly stroll around the yard. It was getting nosey as the animals begins to wake up; regretting not taking Alice with me.
But as I roam around, I notice a white small piece of paper shaped in a folded square on the moist ground. I look around in case it was someone else passing by, but the only person who came was...
I pull it out of the near sinking soil and wipe it at the back of my hand, revealing each fold until it becomes a full paper with cursive writing exploited on the paper.
My eyes scanned and read what it said as my hand clenched tightly to the paper and I can feel my heartbeat close to my throat.
"Where...where did she get this?" I whisper to myself, horrified at the words written in this paper as my eyes couldn't believe.
It's a letter from Maytivoza.
Dear friends and families,
I care deeply to every and one of you as each of y'all plays a part in my life. The person I am is from the people you all made me become. I appreciate it. I know I was not treated with the best care from society and all, but I want you all to know that I forgive you.
Please know it's true. I can't forget what you have done, but I can learn to accept and search for a better path in my life. And let you know that the person you are is not the same person from the past. Don't let that trap you for who you are.
Well. Before this letter is done. I want you to know this might be the first and last letter I'll write for y'all. But I want you all to know how much I love and honor every one of you.
Goodbye, Maytivoza Rose.
I quickly stood up and ran toward the kitchen, searching for Brown. My left hand grip the paper like it was part of me, shaking my eyes around the room to find her.
"Brown!" I walk up to her as she sat on a chair with Pearl sitting opposite from her with a table between them, pushing the paper on the table.
"What the hell is this?!" I pant as my hands shake.
Brown hesitates as she looks lost at what I'm showing.
"Alexander. You have no right to yell in here!" Pearl hisses at me.
"There's a reason why. Why did she write a goodbye letter? Why do you have it?" I ignore Mum and focus on Brown to answer.
When she recognizes my words, her eyes drift to me instead of the paper, staring deep into them.
I move back as I start to see what she meant. This letter was meant for me and every one of us to see. The last time to see Maytivoza.
"I'm sorry." She hardly whispers, shaking her body as she begins to cry.
"We need to save her. Fast."
Pearl looks appalled at her words, frightened. "What do you mean, Brown? What are they going to do to her?"
She struggled to continue as her head bowed down, nodding. "A death that would last longer than any torture from us."