After an amazing holiday, we were finally home. Lottie flew straight to LA for a meeting with the producers for Marvel and I was on a very long flight sitting in the middle of my 8-year-old and Florence. Tom and she were both heading to London so we all got the same flight. Lottie offered to come with and move the meeting but she had done so much for me I never thought the flight would be so quiet. Rose didn't say a word. She didn't warm up to Florence the whole trip and after I told Flo she can't just stop being friends with Lottie we haven't spoken and still are not speaking now. I know Lottie will forgive Flo eventually. She's forgiven her every time and I'm sure Florence has forgiven Lots for her mistakes too. They're best friends I know it will work out. But this flight I hated every second of it. I was bored I had no one to cuddle with or lean into to be able to be comfy enough to at least nap for some of the flight.
"That flight was torture," I tell Lottie holding the phone to my ear with my shoulder whilst I unlock the door to her apartment. She laughed down the phone. "You're being dramatic." "No one spoke for almost 17 hours. That's a whole day Lottie." She laughed more. "My five-hour journey was great!" She bragged. "Who were you sat with?" "Lizzie and Hemsworth." She says. "Chris let me nap on him for the whole flight." "Rub it in why don't you," I say putting the keys on the island as I walked past to the bedroom. "How weird is it we're in each other's houses," I say picking up her picture on the bedside of her and her brother. "I don't like it. The house is too big without you here." She says and I smiled. "The apartment is great." "Wait until tonight then you won't be so smug when you want someone to cuddle with." She warned. "I was thinking." She started and then paused I waited for her to continue. "Maybe when you get home we could possibly, maybe, um...start. Only if you're ready... looking for a place together?" She was adorable how nervous she got to ask me that. I've been ready since we came back from the farm when I told Charles we were dating but I knew Charlotte wasn't nor was Rose. Now I know they both are. Rose adores Lottie she thinks she's the coolest person to grace the earth and she trusts Lottie which is important. "I'd like that very much," I tell her, I couldn't stop smiling. We're going to be moving in together. "Yeah?" "Yeah, I've been waiting for you to be ready," I admit. "LA or England?" I asked her. "Well, we have the farm in England. And the apartment. Besides we'd be spending most of our time in LA so it makes sense to get a place out here right?" "Yeah, I just didn't know if you were ready to make the move official. Like actually become an American." I teased. "I will always be British thank you very much. But all your family is in the states. I wouldn't make you leave them." She's so thoughtful. "Why don't we both look and then we can make appointments to view them for when I'm back." I suggested, "sounds good." I was in England for a few days making sure Rose settled back in okay and then was flying home. Lottie was going to be busy with work so I had no rush to get home knowing I'd get more attention from her being away than being there. She's more likely to answer my calls and texts if I'm away despite her being busy. But if I was home she'd be focused on her work and ignore me. No matter what I did to get her attention. I'd sulk about it and then she'd feel bad.
"Oh, Roberts invited us to the alps for New Year. Are we confirming or do we have plans?" "Yeah, Colin has Rose so it'll just be us to though." "I hate having to share her." I could just picture her pout. "Are you just with me because I have a cute kid?" I asked. "1000% it's the only thing you have going for you." She joked. "Oh really!" "Yeah." We both laughed. It felt weird being away from her. We spend the night away from each other every so often most nights but only if Rose is home because we don't want her to feel too overwhelmed with it all. "I miss you already," I tell her laying down on her side of the bed, the sheets had been freshly washed they didn't smell like her perfume. She must have changed them before she left with Rose. "I miss you too, already got one of your sweaters on." She says, my phone vibrated and I checked my messages, she had sent me a picture of her in our bed in my hoodie smiling.
"I'm far too dependant on you these days. Gosh, you're turning me soft Kloss." I tell her. "You were already soft when I met you. I think it was you who ruined me." She says back. "We ruined each other, for the better," I say settling it. "Defiantly for the better." "Rose was asking about going to the farm?" "Yeah, she mentioned it to me too." "If you're not ready to stay there yet I can take her for the night one weekend." "I'll let you know?" "Yeah." I smiled sadly, she's struggled to even be at the farm to collect boxes or sign paperwork for the building never mind staying there for the weekend. She misses Charles and that house is full of memories I get why it's hard.
"I'm going to try and have a nap... Before the meeting." She tells me. "Okay, babe." "I love you, and call me when you can." "I love you too."
----------
"So you're finally looking for houses," Chris says just as excited as we were. I was in my trailer and he came to visit the set. "Yeah! We viewed two last weekend and we have another viewing tonight." I tell him getting my laptop to show him the houses we're looking at. "I thought you would have moved in together by now." "I mean we half have. We have keys to each other's places and our things are in a mix of the properties between London, the country and LA. It's just not full time." I say shrugging my shoulders as I passed the laptop to him.
"You think she's the one." I nodded not even thinking about my answer. "She's good with Rose, she's attentive to my every need, She treats me like I'm the queen... She bakes something every single day has dinner waiting for me when I get home. Even if she's not home it's there for me. She makes me feel like I'm the only girl in the world. She's my, my soulmate." I looked up at him. "Your soulmate huh?" I looked towards the door as she stood there with a smirk on her face.
She looked rather warm in her gym clothes, rosy cheeks her hair sticking up a little from how she had it pulled back in a messy bun. "Yeah, my soulmate," I say back standing up and hugging her she stopped me. "I'm all gross, just came from the gym." "Like I care." I hugged her pecking her lips a few times. "Getting your training in?" Chris asked her. "Got to, not been performing and the movies are like a cross-fit class." We all laugh agreeing with her. The Marvel films are so demanding physically the amount of training that we do it enough to have you in agony for weeks once we wrap. The boys have it easy a lot of their's is all CGI whereas Florence, Lots and I, actually have to do the stunts and do it well.
"Oh please, you're the fittest one out of us all." "I mean yeah but you're all old." I shoved her and she chuckled. "Not you, baby." She pecked my cheek. "Can I shower?" She asked me pointing to my bathroom. "Yeah, I'm due back on set in 15," I tell her checking the time. She nodded.
"These houses look amazing." "She did good finding them. I didn't even get a chance to look yet." "You've been that busy?" I nodded. "Between the film, planning for Christmas, flying out to see Rose and trying to find a tiny amount of time to actually spend with Lottie it's been hard." "She's busy again I assume?" I nodded sitting back down. "She's been training for the movie for audition season, she's been auditioning, and just filling her schedule with anything work-related." "She's been out a few months she's probably just missed the fast pace life." "She's working too much already," I say. "You're just needy." "True but she's working too much." "SHE CAN HEAR YOU." She called from the bathroom. Chris laughed.
"I better head to set," I tell him. "I'm going to chill here with Lottie." "Okay." "Love you, Princess." "LOVE YOU!" She shouted to me. I heard her singing and I smiled to myself as I left for the set.
-------
"TOUCH DOWN!" I hear Lottie shout, I opened the door and see the main room of my trailer now turned into a football pitch. "Is that my bra?" I asked as they tossed it between them. "Yeah the only thing we could find for a ball," Lottie says shrugging and throwing it at Chris. I catch it. "Quit it." I scolded them. "You turn anyone into a child," I say looking at Lottie. "It was his idea!" "Put this room back. Now." "Alright, alright," Chris says picking up the sofa cushions off the floor. Lottie moved the coffee table back into the middle of the room where it belonged and I stood there watching them not helping because they made the mess.
"Oh, I forgot to tell you," Lottie says as she sits down. "After we viewed the house Roberts invited you to dinner." "Just me?" "Well I live there, I eat there most days." She says. "Yeah, that's fine," I say agreeing easily. "Good because I already accepted. We're having steak. Medium rare right?" She asked packing her bag. "Yeah." "Perfect." "What are you having?" "pasta salad." She's eating cleaning again, she always does when she's training. I've convinced her to take Christmas off so she can enjoy all the treats. but that's only a week.
-------
"ROSIE!" Lottie ran towards us picking Rose up when she got to us she spun around with her and Rose laughed loudly. "I missed you. I missed you. I missed you." Rose sang holding onto Lottie just as tight. Colin was stood beside me, his eyes piercing through Lottie's skull trying to melt her brain.
"Rose come here," Colin told her. "One minute," Rose said going back to talking to Lottie. They're a perfect pair, they can both talk for England, they legit never stop talking it's a lot. Especially when we're trying to watch a film that neither of them is that into.
"Rose now," Colin demanded. Lottie knelt on the floor and unwrapped her arms from Rose so she could pull away but she didn't. She eventually stopped hugging Lottie and went to Colin who picked her up. "I have our bags in the car. Roberts going to take her things back to his place so we can just hang around here." She told me and I nodded wrapping an arm around her waist. "Quit it," Colin told me when he noticed. Lottie tensed up and moved from me slightly so I tightened my grip, he wasn't winning this. I wasn't doing anything wrong. There was nothing wrong with the girl I love, with the love we share. Why should he make us feel ashamed of that? Because what we have is pure and beautiful. "Stop," Lottie said moving from my arms completely and taking the bags.
"I'll go get our bags." She left before I could say anything. "Why did you have to say anything?" I asked him pissed. I was annoyed angry at him. He made her feel that uncomfortable, "Because it's disgusting and I don't want it around me or my daughter." "Well too bad," I tell him putting my hands on my hip. "You're getting very brave for a woman who-"She's a child. Really?" Lottie said taking a wide-eyed Rose, Rose clung to her immediately Colin still holding on to her too. "Let her go," Lottie says. "She's my daughter." "And you've scared her." Rose wrapped her legs around Lottie's waist and she stepped back from Colin. "And just because I walked away it doesn't mean you can talk to her like that!" She warned him.
"Help me?" Lottie said taking a bag and a case. I took the other two cases. "Bye, daddy. Merry Christmas!" Rose waved. "Bye love bug." He blew her a kiss. "I don't like it when Daddy yells at you mummy." She told me. I felt guilty that she had to be around that level of toxicity. "I know baby, I'm sorry." "Why does he shout at you?" "I don't know princess."
We go to check in and check our bags and then go through security before going to the first-class lounge. We stopped for a few pictures with some fans but we tried to avoid them, not because we didn't appreciate them, but because I've been on a 13-hour flight and I'm tired and annoyed at my ex for just being him. And Lottie looked like shit. So God knows what she's been up to since I left to get Rose. I went for four days, to help her pack and then we spent two days there. We took a short trip to the farm and she visited her horse and cow.
It was odd being there without Lottie. She's always there when I go. The farmhand looked really confused and then I pulled out a key to the farmhouse he chilled out a little. They were watching us as we walked the farm. Most of them are new so they wouldn't have a clue who we were. But we spent most of our time in the city. Rose loved the apartment, she thought it was so cool I guess it reminded her of our apartment in NYC Overlooking the busy city. I was on edge every second she was there because the whole apartment is white and Rose is Rose and clumsy so I knew something would get ruined. And it did, she spilt grape juice on the white sofa. I told her not to take it out of the kitchen and she did and the sofa was ruined. I called Lottie and she was really chill about it, she said accidents happen and she'll have someone go over there to clean it whilst we were away. Rose was upset because she thought Lottie was mad at her so I called Lottie back who was in the middle of running through her audition. And she told Rose it was fine made her giggle and it was over with.
We got on the plane and Rose fell asleep pretty much instantly, she laid across Lottie and I wrapped in Lottie's zip-up hoodie she was wearing that covered her entire body because she was so small. I held Lottie's hand throughout the flight and I think I fell asleep a few times during the flight. Lottie was answering emails on her phone. "It's Christmas... no work," I tell her taking her phone. "Scar, not funny. I'm busy." She took it back. "What are you doing? You've been so busy recently." I pouted at her. "Yeah." She nodded squeezing my hand. "But what are you busy with exactly?" "Work stuff." "What work stuff." I pushed. "I'm dealing with it. But my Westend contract, which I signed for 6 years is nearly up but they want me to do a final show-"In London." She nodded. "I'm dealing with." She assured me with a smile typing again with one hand.
If she has to go back to London that means us moving in together will be delayed. We have it down to two houses both available to move into after the new year. We wanted to get Rose's opinion on them first before we chose, it's her house too. But if she's going to London for 6 months which is the shortest time she'd be away between training and the actual shows it could be longer. We'd have to start the house search again, or I'd be moving in on myself. Which I didn't want to do.
"I'm dealing with it, baby. I promise." She squeezed my hand three times. 'I love you' I did it back and was happy enough. Now I understand why she looks tired, with the time differences it would mean she'd be on meeting calls in the night and then in the day she'd have her work to do, training, emails, PR.