I ended up in a small white dress with a small brown belt around the waist, while Carson wore some khakis like Leo except Carson sported a sweater vest. He also gelled his hair so it spiked up more than usual which leaded to me making fun of him because he reminded me of one of those preppy school boys looking only half innocent while carrying a large stack of books. But I have to admit, it made him look adorable. And then he told me he didn't like the word 'adorable' but I ignored it.
The car ride to wherever this thing is held, was agonizing. My father and brother have a dispute in the front seat at which station on the radio to listen to. When I zone out of their conversation, I begin to think about this whole thing over again. Like what is the whole point of this? What is going to happen and why? Every time I would speak up and bring the topic into the air, no body would respond clearly amused by the fact I was clueless. I had enough so I turned to the window and ignored everyone when the tried to talk to me.
"Sara?" Carson nudged me with his arm. "Sara come on." Instead of replying I nudged Carson roughly in the ribs just like he had done to me except more rough. I had lost all the interest so speak anymore.
We pull into the parking lot of large stone building that looks more like a castle in my eyes. The detailing on the building is amazing. Around each of the oddly shaped windows are some kind of patterns and swirls giving the effect of vines growing on the windows. The stone that the place is made of itself is like a pale gray color similar to the gray clouds rolling in from the North except the clouds are more threatening. I gulp as we enter the castle- like building through the two front doors that tower over my head. This is far from what I'm used to.
Once we enter, it's a totally different setting then you would think. Instead of being dark and cold like some kind of cave, the room if filled with light, decorated to look exactly like a police station. It was quite the odd mix if you ask me. The ceiling is so far above my head that I would probably have to fly in a plane just to reach the top. Okay that's exaggerating a little bit but it's pretty close. Carson grabs my hand when a man dressed in a suit comes out of nowhere and greets my father. I pull my hand away as we start to walk, but this time Carson comes close and puts his arm around my shoulders. I want to turn and glare at him but I don't want him to see the red on my cheeks. We walk down endless hallways, stopping a few times so my father and 'reunite' with all his buddies until finally we reach a room that looks exactly like the court rooms you would see on television only a little more elegant looking.
On one of the benches of the right side sits my mother and Alan, both wearing orange. I am the first thing my mother sets her eyes on. She gasps and gets up quickly walking to me, holding her arms out. My bones are frozen and my mind is trying to comprehend what she's about to do even though I know what she's going to do. I look at my brother, his eyes are focused on her; I forgot that he probably doesn't remember her and now suddenly, this is how he meets her. Just when she is about to be sent to prison. I take my eyes back to my mother and at the last second, I release my grip on Carson's hand and walk into my mother's arms embracing her in a hug, something I have never done much.
"I'm so sorry." My mother whispers into my hair. I shut my eyes tight, keeping the tears in. Crying is the last thing I should be doing after everything that's happened. I should be happy that she's paying the price for what she did. And on top of that, I might learn things that I need to know today. Things that I didn't already know even though I did know a lot after coming to England.
I pull away and shake my head. My mother brushes some of the hair out of my eyes but I can't look her in the eyes, she could easily wear a fake pained expression for all I know, and then would feel bad when I shouldn't.
"It's a little late for that." I mumble. I then step away and go back to my place in between Carson and Leo. My mother wears a shocked expression, however I think I'm smart enough to realize that it's fake. Her eyes shift from me to Leo and when she sees Leo her hand covers her mouth, her eyes are wide and watery.
I nudge Leo's side with my elbow and whisper "Don't let her fool you like she did to me." He shakes his head and points to our dad. "I know better." Is all he says. I wish I had known better, I wish I could have have been smart enough when I was younger. I wish it didn't take me so long to pick up on things.
After a few moments a few men dressed in suits come into the room ushering Carson, Leo and I out claiming we need to 'follow them.'
I fight against Leo as he tries to push me out of the room. But I refuse to leave. "Wait what about Dad and Mom?"
"We can't stay! There are things they need to discuss as. . ." Leo trails off and my eyes widen because I can't believe that he's just going along with it without even giving it a second thought.
"As what Leo? Give me one good reason why we can't stay." I cross my arms and my dad looks at me giving me a look telling me to just go, but I can't leave, not now. Not after all this time, all this wondering. Leo grits his teeth and his cheeks get red. "Sara, I swear, you are going to get us into so much trouble just go!" I jump as his sudden raise in voice and follow Carson out the door leaving my parents and Alan behind to begin their World War.
***
We are led down a dark hallway and into a small room. Just like the one that I talked to my father for the first time. There are two guys dressed up, the ones who led us to this room. One has curly blonde hair, he's short yet jacked. The other one has a more dirty blonde shade of hair then the other guy, and his hair is straight, plus he's taller. We sit in the chairs surrounding the table, no body making a peep.
"My name is Charles and this here is William." The tall one says. No one says anything in reply. We all just nod. Leo looks down at the floor. His face still says he is angry and doesn't want to be here. I'm almost positive that seeing my mother had this affect on him.
"Welcome to England. I understand two of you are American?" William says looking t each one of us. Carson and I nod slowly. Carson also looks at the ground, keeping his hands folded in his lap. I try to take his hand in mine but he snatches it away like I'm some kind of monster. I then turned away from him moving my chair a few inches away from him as well. My heart races with anger.
Charles sighs and mumbles something to William, thinking I didn't hear it. But, I did. "This is going to be difficult." Is what he said. I roll my eyes at them to send them a signal saying 'hey idiots, I heard that.'
Charles clears his throat. "You're probably wondering why you're here. Annalise-" I jump in my seat, clenching my fists, feeling my cheeks heat up. "Why does everybody keep calling me that? Stop it! My name is Sara!" I yell. Leo and Carson both look up at me, shocked. This time Carson tries to reach for my hand but I pull it away and give him a disgusted look. William and Charles both look taken back, "It says it here-" I cut Charles off again, not caring if I'm being rude. Something about that name makes my blood boil, it makes me reach the breaking point so easily.
"I don't care what your freakin paper says! I'm telling you right now what my name is!" I yell. Charles puts his hands up in surrender. Carson nudges me with his arm and I slap it. My anger is building up so quickly now, that I don't even care when he gives me a pained look, I just turn my head in the other direction.
"Let's calm down, we just need to ask a few questions and then you can leave." William says calmly with his hands out like he's trying to tame me. I roll my eyes again.
Charles and William exchange worried glances before Charles begins to read off his paper. "An-Sara, is it true that your mother was hiding from you, like personal belongings that a normal child might have in their life? Any pictures from the past? Special mementos?" I look at my lap. The way he says it brings back pain I don't want to remember. Pain, cruelty. I nod my head because my mouth has become dry and my throat has become tight. I still feel the rush of anger that I had moments ago.
"Did you know she was working with Alan?" William asks. "We need details, if you have anything you could possibly add to that answer that would be appreciated."
I take a deep breathe; this is all stuff I didn't want to remember. I knew I couldn't just put it behind me, that I would have to talk through it sometime, but not so sudden I don't think I'm ready just yet. Sadly I wasn't given an option. "No," I say looking at William and Charles. "I had no idea she was going behind my back working with Alan. I didn't know that if I hadn't gotten the letter from him that one Sunday, none of this would've happened. I also, didn't know that Carson was behind this too. I didn't know he was his son." I growl.
My feelings are coming back now. My anger for Carson is all being presenting before me again. I now remember why I was angry, I remember why I felt betrayed. Maybe I shouldn't have just said what I did. I made an assumption after all; nobody ever said Carson was behind this anyway. I think back to the time when my father was the one questioning us. Carson had reacted in a way that looked like shock, like he didn't know. But then my mind traces back to when Carson said and I quote, "I told him not to." That means Carson knew about the plan, he knew. I try to calm myself but I can't. I feel so angry with the world.
Both Charles and William look at Carson nodding. "Did you, Carson, know your father's plans? Were you working with him as well?" Carson looks at me and then the interrogators. He still wears the pained expression, "No, well yes- Look, I knew about it and all but I didn't know she-" Carson points at me, "was who they were looking for. I didn't put the pieces together until I found her in the bookstore that one day, looking up the name of my father. But it was too late, I had already fallen for her and I wasn't going to just give her away, so I tried to just go along with whatever my dad said, not giving any clues that I had found her. I didn't want to lose her."
My palms are so sweaty that I have to wipe them on my dress every few seconds just so it's not noticeable. He didn't want to lose me. He knew, yet he kept it a secret to protect me. My bones are frozen and my blood is cold. All of this information is too much for me to take and I bet we haven't even answered half of the questions considering there is a whole folder of papers like the one Charles holds now.
Charles and William nod, both of them looking directly at Carson. "Okay. What was it that your dad told you?"
Carson lets out a breathe that looks like he might have been holding for a while. "He told me there's a girl whom I need to find. Turn her into him when I found her. I was given no physical description as to what she looked like or what her name was so I had no idea the girl I was slowly falling for was the girl my dad was hunting down. I didn't even know where to find her. All I knew is that she was from England, so I was expecting a girl with an accent. But I had no idea what would've happened if I would have turned her in." He says, looking at me the entire time. I'm speechless, this just keeps getting more and more difficult as time goes on, and more secrets are released. And the anger is building up more and more until I think I'm going to snap.
This is such a cliche book wth. what am i doing with my life.. lol.