"I'M SORRY... WHAT?"
James looked at me apologetically. "The news was so sudden, and I wanted to tell you as soon as I found out. I just wanted to be as delicate as possible to avoid... this."
"Why Australia, of all places?" Was this side of the planet not good enough?
"It's an incredible school," he said. "And the only one that's giving me a full ride."
I wanted to be mad, but I couldn't lash out at him for getting a full scholarship. "I'm so proud of you, but I hate you."
"I'm sorry."
"Don't be," I said. "It's a great opportunity, and you've worked so hard to get here."
"You're not mad?" he asked, a bit too optimistically.
"Oh no, I'm furious."
My eyes widened and I backed away from him.
"You were trying to break up with me this whole time, weren't you?"
He was trying to think of a way to let me down nicely while I had been throwing myself at him!
"No!" he exclaimed. "I'm not letting you go. It won't be easy, but we'll make it work."
"Just like how this shit show of a summer went," I said under my breath.
"We've become stronger," James said. "I know we'll make it work."
I felt tears pricking my eyes and I blinked rapidly to get rid of them.
"Dani, don't cry," he said in a soft voice. "We're going to make this work, I know we will." He brushed my tear away and kissed the back of my hand, the one with the promise ring.
I pulled my hand away. "Who are we kidding?"
"Don't say that."
"I'm serious." I could feel my voice getting heavy. "We won't last if you're thousands of miles away."
James stared hard at me. "What are you trying to say?"
I closed my eyes and bit the inside of my cheek before saying, "I think we should break up."
James was quiet for a moment as he registered my words. "Are you kidding me? How can you give up on us so easily?"
"I'm saving us both from a lot of fights and heartbreak down the road."
He shook his head. "Dani, don't. Please."
I gently pressed my lips against his for a brief moment. "I love you so much," I told him earnestly.
"How can you expect me to go on without you?" I felt a pang in my chest when I heard his voice crack at the end.
"I'm still going to be here," I promised. "But until you're back for good, the most my heart can take is being your friend."
"Dani, don't do this," he pleaded.
I put my palm against his cheek and he closed his eyes. "I won't be able to handle being away from you for that long. Please understand."
With his eyes closed James nodded as a single tear rolled down his cheek. "Can we just have one more night together?"
"I don't know..."
"Please, Dani?"
It broke my heart into pieces to see James hurting because of me, so I reluctantly agreed. James pulled me close and kissed me like it was the last time we would ever kiss each other. I squeezed my eyes shut and kissed him back with just as much passion, savouring our last night together.
~*~
"Brenton's here," I said to James the next morning, putting my phone in my back pocket.
He handed me my bag and a stainless steel tumbler. When I raised my eyebrows he said, "I made iced coffee for the road."
I graciously accepted it from him. "Thanks."
James leaned down to kiss me but I stepped back.
"Friends don't do that."
"Sorry, I forgot." He paused. "Can friends hug?"
I nodded and wrapped my arms around him tightly as I breathed in his scent. We hugged for what felt like forever until I broke it. I picked up my stuff and walked to his front door but stopped and turned around. "Goodbye, James."
"Goodbye, Dani."
Brenton knew something had happened the second he saw my face, but before he could do something hastily, I told him I initiated the breakup. To save me from reliving this repeatedly, on the drive home, we did a group call with my brothers, Vanessa, Amber, and Holden.
"Why didn't you tell me sooner?" Niko asked, which was followed by Vanessa telling him, "Shut up, babe."
"Are you okay?" Amber questioned.
"So was he cheating or not?" Holden added.
"If you guys broke up yesterday why did you spend the night with him?" Alex concluded.
Fed up with the nonstop questions, Brenton grabbed his cell phone. "Oh no, it looks like we're going through a tunnel... Losing connection... Bye." He hung up the call and tossed his phone to the backseat of the car.
"Thanks."
He glanced at me out of the corner of his eye. "You okay?"
"Not at all."
"There'll be other guys," he promised.
"None as good as James."
He laughed softly. "It'll be tough, but you'll find someone better."
When we arrived back at the house, everyone from the call was waiting in the living room with ice cream, blankets, and my favourite movies. We were finishing up the second movie when my emotions went into overdrive.
"The world is such a cruel place," I sobbed, throwing my tissue at the TV screen. "Why can't anyone get the happiness they deserve?"
Alex turned to look at me. "Uh, this is Toy Story 3."
"Shut up!" I screamed.
Brenton chucked the empty tissue box at the back of Alex's head. "Go get another box, dummy."
I was laying on the couch, my head rested on Niko's lap as I cried.
"It's going to be okay," he said softly. "You always get through everything, Little D."
"I was the one who broke up with him," I said. "So why does it hurt so much?"
Vanessa, who was sitting on the other side of the couch, patted my leg sympathetically. "Aw, babe, you're bound to hurt. As long as you think you're making the right decision, that's all that matters."
"Yeah, exactly," Niko agreed.
I stopped sniffling and looked at Vanessa. "What do you mean if I think?"
She blinked. "What?"
"You said if I think I'm making the right decision," I elaborated. "Are you saying I'm not?"
She shook her head. "No, no! That's not what..."
"What are you trying to say, Vanessa?" I demanded.
She looked to Niko for help, who called on Amber and Holden. "Guys, some assistance would be nice."
Amber swapped seats with Vanessa while Holden swapped seats with Niko. Amber handed me a tissue from a pack in her purse while Holden plopped my head onto his lap.
"Here." Amber held the tissue in front of me and I blew my nose into it.
I glared at her when I noticed her trying not to gag. "You've used Holden's shirt as a tissue, don't judge me."
"Don't remind me," he muttered.
"Comfort her," Amber chided Holden.
"I'm trying," he hissed as he stroked my hair.
"I said to comfort her, not rip her hair out!"
"What do you want me to do, woman?"
I abruptly stood up. "I'm going to my room." I ignored both of their pleas for me to return, and I walked up to my bedroom. When I went inside, I found James' shirt on my bed. I was going to throw it to the side, but when I made contact with the fabric, my waterworks went out of control and I cried.
"Shit," I heard Brenton's voice outside of my bedroom.
"Can we go back down and pretend we saw nothing?" Alex whispered to him.
Brenton entered my bedroom and grabbed the shirt from me. "You don't need any more reminders of that asshole."
"Don't call him that," I snapped.
"Fine," he said with an eye roll. "You don't need any reminders of James."
"James." Saying his name made a surge of memories flood through my head and I sobbed even more.
"Just put the damn shirt away," Brenton said. "Niko can return his stuff back to him."
"Oh my God," I said slowly. "I have to give him his things back."
"You don't have to," Alex said.
Brenton nodded. "I always keep expensive stuff belonging to my exes... I still have Amber's dead grandpa's watch."
"I heard that!" her voice yelled from the living room. "And I want it back!"
"I can't believe he's gone," I sniffled.
"Didn't you break up with him?" Alex said.
I screamed and grabbed the nearest, which happened to be my lamp, ready to throw it at him. Brenton snatched it out of my hands and set it down. "Just get out, dude," he said to Alex while holding on to me to make sure I didn't attack our little brother.
He sat me down and wrapped his arm around me. "It's going to be okay. When your bitch of a best friend and I called it quits, I was miserable too. Then I got laid and I felt a lot better."
"I don't want anyone else." I wiped my eyes with my sleeve. "I only want James."
"Okay, now I'm confused." He eyed me weirdly. "Why'd you dump him?"
"Get. Out," I spat.
Brenton held up his hands in defeat and ran out of my bedroom, leaving me alone.
I thought about his words, but despite what he or anyone else thought, it had to be done. Although I loved James with my whole heart, staying together while trying to navigate this long-distance relationship would cause more harm than good. Factoring in timezone differences, barely getting to see each other, and James' busy schedule, the only time we would talk would be to fight about all of the above. Eventually, it would turn into resentment and our once really amazing relationship would crumble. I hated the thought of breaking it off, but it wouldn't be forever. So long as he was on the other side of the world, I didn't see our relationship having a fighting chance.
~*~
The days went by more miserably than the last. I tried to drown myself in my work, but during any spare second, all I could think of was James. I often found myself thinking about how he was holding up, if he had moved on, who he might have moved on with, and Leila. I wondered if she knew what had happened and used this as her opportunity to snag him once and for all.
The buzzing of my phone caught my attention, and I checked it to see a text. It was from him.
Hey.
I found myself typing back.
How are you?
Within a few seconds, it buzzed with his reply.
I've been better. You?
I felt my heart sink from that. He was still hurting, probably just as much as I was if not more.
Same :( I hate being friends.
No reply.
Tired of being cooped up in my bedroom, I changed into a pair of cotton shorts and a tank top, and I went downstairs to grab something to eat.
"We're going to get pizza," Brenton said when he saw me, gesturing at Alex. "Want to come?"
I shook my head. "Bring me back a slice."
Brenton nodded and he and Alex left, leaving me home alone. Mom was at work, and since his outburst at Dad, Adam hadn't been at our house. While I had hoped he and Mom broke up and she was pursuing Dad instead, it didn't matter. Love was dead.
I rummaged through the fridge for a snack when the doorbell rang. "It's me," Holden's voice called out.
"It's open," I yelled from the kitchen.
"What?"
"It's open," I repeated.
"What?"
"The front door is..."
I was cut off when the lights suddenly flickered off. Oh great, another Stone Creek blackout. Just what I needed.
"I'm coming in!"
I closed the fridge door as I searched for my cell phone to shed some light so I could see.
"Where are you?" Holden called.
"In the kitchen," I replied.
I was taking a step back when I bumped into something hard. I let out a shriek until I realized it was Holden.
"Dani?"
"No, it's Niko," I deadpanned. "Why are you here?"
"I was bored."
Typical Holden.
I was about to take a step back to find my cell phone when I stepped on something sharp and lost my footing. I gasped as I fell back, but Holden gripped onto me, preventing my fall. His hands were grabbing onto my waist, his thumbs on my stomach which was bare from my tank top riding up. I sucked in a sharp breath as he ran his thumbs over my skin, his grip on me tightening.
"Holden," I said in a shaky voice.
"Hm?"
"I think I'm bleeding."
"Oh, crap!" He shone his phone flashlight on my foot, which was covered in blood, presumably from whatever I had stepped on. "Can you walk?" he asked.
"I'm fine," I spoke too soon. When I took a step, pain coursed through my body, and I gasped.
"What?" he asked, turning around.
"I saw a spider," I lied.
"Don't bullshit me, Parker." Holden took me by surprise by scooping me into his arms and carrying me to the kitchen where he placed me on the counter. "Where are the bandages?"
I pointed at a cabinet behind him. He took out a pack of gauze and wrapped it around my foot to stop the bleeding. When he was finished, Holden took a step back to admire his work.
"Huh, maybe I should be a doctor."
I winced at his mention of a doctor, my mind instantly going to James.
"I'm sorry," he apologized. "That was dumb of me to say."
"It's not your fault."
Just then, my phone buzzed from where it was sitting on the counter all along, and I saw James had sent a message. Holden noticed the same time I did because he grabbed my phone out of my grasp. "I have a better idea." He put my phone in the cabinet with the bandages.