~ Irina's P.O.V ~
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Even the next morning, the effects of the electric shock therapy had not completely warn off. I had a restless sleep, throwing off the covers and tossing about. When I woke up, I was not all there. People would speak to me and I would not see them clearly, unable to answer them normally. Yesterday was a blur, but suddenly pieces began to come into fruition. I had woken up, had breakfast, went to the common room, and then had lunch. I had kitchen duty, where Kit taught me how to make pie. He had kissed me, telling me he'd have taken me there if we were alone. He was called away and we had not seen him. He was tortured by Dr. Arden after I returned to the common room. He said he loved me.
That one detail stuck in my brain - Kit Walker said that he loved me. I knew he liked me - a lot - but it seemed too good to be true.
Thankfully, the effects had worn off by mid morning but I decided to take a nap on the common room's sofa to make up for the sleepless night.
In my slumber, I felt a presence come near me and sit at my feet, sinking the sofa cushion down. The person reached out to caress my cheek as my eyes fluttered open.
"Morning, beautiful," Kit smiled, running his thumb along my lips.
"Morning, darling," I couldn't help but smile, stretching out before sitting up and planting a kiss on his full lips.
"How did you sleep? I heard you got electric shock therapy. I was so worried..." he looked at me with concern and longing.
"I slept horrible. The whole experience was just...I don't even want to think about it. It hurt; I fought the guards but it didn't work." I felt a tear well in the corner of my eye, threatening to spill over.
"Don't cry," Kit muttered soothingly as the tear did in fact spill over. He caught the tear with his finger tip and kissed the wet area on my cheek where it fell. "I'm so sorry you had to go through that. Sister Jude..." he sighed. "Sister Jude has issues."
"They think they're helping, but I don't think they are. They call themselves Christians, but this isn't what helps. This isn't in the name of God," I shook my head as he wrapped his arms around me, pulling me close to him.
"They're the worst," Kit said. "The ones who call themselves men and women of God. They're not always the worst, but they can be."
"I have a question about yesterday," I said timidly. "See my mind's been foggy since the shock therapy..."
"What about yesterday?" he asked, his voice full of love and kindness.
"Yesterday I thought that you said you loved me..." I looked up at him, holding his gaze as I lowered my voice. "Is it true? Do you love me?"
"It's true," he smiled. "I love you Irina."
He really did. I was not completely insane. Not yet anyhow.
"Since you don't really remember," he spoke again. "Did you mean it when you said you loved me?"
"I sure did," I nodded, grinning as I sank into his warm embrace. "I swear with you by my side I can get through anything."
Shit, I had to see Dr. Thredson otherwise God knows what would happen...
I quikcly kissed Kit on the cheek and got up from the couch.
"Where are you going?" he inquired.
"I have to see Dr. Thredson," I sighed. "Wait for me?"
"I've got no where else to go, darling."
"See you later," I smiled.
He flashed me his dimpled smile and waved as I made my way down the hall to the room Dr. Thredson and I usually met at. The door was closed, so he must have still been meeting with someone. I took a seat next to Lana in one of the waiting chairs.
"So you see Dr. Thredson, too?" Lana asked, puffing on a long thin cigarette and exhaling the smoke through her full thick lips.
"Yeah. I'm here for a Thorazine drip and a session today. How about you?" I asked. Lana was slowly beginning to grow on me. The more I talked to her, the more I liked her.
"Aversion therapy. Thredson's going to inject something in me to make me vomit as I look at attractive women. Then, he said he's going to show me an attractive man and I'm going to somehow have to make myself be attracted to him," she paused, her cigarette billowing smoke as it lay in her fingers, her dark brown curls matted down against her colorless dress. "I miss Wendy, my girlfriend, dearly, but I have to move on. If I do, I can be normal in society."
"That must be so hard, to just stop loving someone but you have to do it," I looked down at the floor and then back up at her. "I wish you the best of luck."
"Thanks," she sighed. "Wendy betrayed me, signing the papers for me to be here. Maybe she realized she was wrong, but it would be much too late for that. I'm in here now and I can't escape." Suddenly, she peered up at me, her soft brown eyes widening. "Do you think we could escape?"
"Well, I don't know," I shrugged. "I want to, but I don't know..."
"Irina Pashkova?" Dr. Thredson called. I turned to look at Lana. "See you later, Lana."
"Good luck, Irina," she smiled, leaning back in the chair.
"Good afternoon, Dr. Thredson," I greeted him as we entered the same empty room we always used. I closed the door behind me before sitting in the stained plush chair in front of the desk he claimed as his.
"How are you this fine day, Miss Pashkova?" he spoke softly, scribbling something in a file.
"I'm alright," I shrugged as he walked over, setting up the Thorazine drip. He cleaned the desirable area on my hand and slid in the needle, taping it in place. Last time I thought, psychologists were not allowed to distribute medications. However, he seemed to know what he was doing.
"You seem better than just alright," he observed. "Now, why is that?"
"Nothing Im just really happy," I shrugged.
"Rumor has it that you're in a relationship with Bloody Face," he looked smug. "Could that be the source of your radiating happiness in this dark desolate place, Miss Pashkova?"
"If you must know, yes."
"I'm your therapist," he asserted his authoritative position. "I must know."
"He's the only light in this place," I whispered.
"Have you and Mr. Walker consumated your relationship, Miss Pashkova?"
"Not yet," I shook my head. What kind of a question was that? How personal! But the thought of Kit and I together like that kept playing in my head...
"So Sister Jude told me that your voices have been coming back, that you accused Sister Mary Eunice of being Satan now what is that about?" He questioned in his calm professional manor. He peered at me through his square black rimmed glasses which matched his thick raven black hair parted and slicked back against his head, contrasting is pale skin.
"She sent me to shock therapy for that," I stuck my nose up. "I wish not to discuss it."
"Irina, you have to," he encouraged, grasping my hand. My eyes flitted upward to see the ghost of his mother transparent behind him yet again, her thick dark brown curls falling against the same white dress blending in with her pale skin. Nothing had changed, but she looked more frantic this time.
"Irina, he's dan - " she began, then faded out just like last time. I tried to push the thought out of my head and concentrate on the session.
With reluctance, I discussed yesterday's events. Once I finished, he unhooked my IV drip, closing his file.
"We will have our meeting scheduled on our normal day for next week, alright? Have a nice week."
"You too, Dr. Thredson," I nodded, slipping out the door.
I have to admit that it did relieve me to let my feelings out to a professional, but he often did not offer advice. If he did, it was impossible to follow it in this disgusting place.
When I walked back into the common room I felt a dreadful tension, so dark and evil, evil above everything else. From that, I knew Sister Mary Eunice was there before I even saw her. She was walking down the middle of the room with the same unnatural confidence and black-golden color in her eyes. I shivered, turning away from her.
"Clean this up before I hang you by your toenails," she spat vindictively, walking off to another table of people.
"Well if you're gonna jerk off all the time, why don't you just come with me, baby?" She put on her best alluring charm for the man, who eyed her lustfully, not picking up on the fact she was corrupt.
This was not Mary Eunice at all. I decided to avoid her at all costs. However, I noticed there was a lot of commotion on the other side of the common room.
"What's going on?" I asked to no one in particular.
"We've got a new patient," Kit said, grasping my hand in his. I felt butterflies flit around in my stomach.
"She thinks she's Anne Frank," Josefina whispered to me.
"Her husband dropped her off here," Grace added excitedly.
"I am Anne Frank whether you believe me or not," the fiesty woman snapped. She had plain dark shoulder length hair, vacant dark brown eyes, and pale skin. She was very sad; I could tell she had been through a lot.
The spirits crowding her were unbearable - tortured, emaciated souls, almost skeletal. Most of them were bald and dressed in blue and white stripes, a yellow Star of David and a number patch sewn onto the rough fabric. She was Jewish, a Holocaust survivor. The spirits whispered things in languages that I couldn't understand, looking at me with sunken eyes so lost and so depressed that they were empty tunnels leading to no where. I pitied them.
Other jovial spirits surrounded her, likely those of famly members from long ago. They were well fed - som even a little plump - with thick hair. They had an inviting vibe about them but I could not understand their language at all either.
"See, it all starts with jokes," she said in her accent to Sister Jude, shrugging slightly. "People don't understand how much it hurts."
"Are you alright, Irina?" Kit bent down to look at my face.
"So many spirits," I shook my head. "She's a Holocaust survivor."
"Oh my," Kit said, clearly shocked. "That's terrible."
"She seems insane, but I suppose if I was ever in her situation I would never be the same again."
"Just like us now. After Briarcliff, we'll never be the same again, for better or for worse."
"Can I have everyone's attention?" Sister Jude announced in a loud clear voice.
Everyone fell silent and turned to look at her in the door way.
"There's a big storm coming soon, seems like rain - a Nor'easter of sorts. So that we can all be together, there will be a movie night!"
The crowd started to excitedly discuss the announcement before Sister Jude ordered them to be quiet.
"What's the movie?" someone asked.
"The Sign of the Cross," she concluded.
"That movie is splendid!" Sister Mary Eunice interrupted, suggestively posing against the door frame as she smiled sadistically. "Just think of it all. As the rain pours down, most of you will be frightened but not all of you. Some of you won't be able to move while the rest of you won't be able to stop moving. And we'll all be together in the dark watching The Sign of the Cross; a movie full of fire, sex, and the death of Christians," she sighed, staring at nothing. "Oh, what fun."
With that cryptic line, she walked away haughtily as Kit and I exchanged a glance. I could only imagine what this movie night would have in store for us.
A/N: I apologize for the past few chapters being in Irina's P.O.V - the next one will be too but after that it will switch back to Kit.