The next morning I felt like I got ran over by a truck but at least I had Nick and Nate with me. We enjoyed a quiet breakfast in bed and a not so quiet shower together. God I missed them. We finished getting dressed, me in comfy black leggings and one of their dress shirts. As I sat on the edge of the bed playing with my phone, Val had brought in my purse and overnight bag that had been left with the crumpled jeep when the breakfast tray was dropped off.
I heard the doors to their closets shut and when they walked out I snapped a picture of them. I chuckled while my mouth drooled just a little. Both of them were tall, dark, and gorgeous in their black jeans that fit perfectly in all the right places, their blue dress shirts that matched their eyes with the sleeves rolled up to their elbows. All chiseled muscles and sexy smiles. They were dressed identically again and it made my heart skip a beat before it started racing a mile a minute. All I wanted to do was rip open those shirts, sending the buttons flying in all directions. I wanted them, both of them, hands, mouths, cocks all over my body, invading my holes and filling me up.
"Keep looking at us like that and we'll never leave this room Pixie." Nick growled pausing the adjustment of his watch.
"I'm okay with not leaving this room." Nate says as he starts to prowl towards me.
Just before he reaches me the door flies open "Mommy! Look how Grandma Val did my hair!" Maddy came bounding into the room twirling around so fast I can't see anything but a blur of color.
I smile apologetically at my men for the interruption. They don't look upset at all, in fact they seem thrilled to see Maddie. "Show me Princess." Nick says kneeling on the floor by her, Nate kneels next to him.
Maddie stopped spinning and turned so they could see the back of her hair. It looked like it was french braided up into a ballerina bun on the top of her head. She was wearing jeans and a blue sweater, the same shade as Nick and Nate's shirts but lighter.
"You look very beautiful Sweetheart." Nate says as he kisses the top of her head.
"Thank you Papa." She said with a slight blush rising to her cheeks. Out of nowhere she squealed and rushed from the room before darting back, "Sorry Mommy, I just membered Aunt Charlie said she'll make chocolate chip cookies with me. Bye, love you!" She yelled the last as she was running down the hall towards the stairs.
We laughed at her antics as we walked out of the room. We made our way downstairs, it felt good to be home. As we walked into the front room there was a very large group gathered the chatter died down and I felt all the eyes turn to us. For some reason I felt ashamed, like I wasn't worthy to be here with them. I know I took back my rejection but I had a feeling everyone knew what I'd done. I started to pullback slightly but Nate had his arm around my shoulder and Nick had his around my waist so I was effectively trapped.
"I want to thank all of you for your efforts and help in the safe rescue of our Luna and daughter. The one responsible for this whole mess has been eliminated." Nate addressed everyone.
One man stepped forward and dropped to a knee in front of us. "Alpha I think I speak on behalf of everyone here when I say, Thanks are not necessary. It was an honor to help our Luna and may I add that I am proud of her strength in the face of such an enemy and her ability to keep a calm mind when under so much stress."
There were cheers around the room, and tears in my eyes. Someone in the back piped up with "Also we're a bit scared of her."
This was greeted with laughter ringing through the room but it confused me so I turn to Nate, "Why would they be scared of me?"
The whole room said in unison:
"YOU EVEN THINK OF TOUCHING HER AND I WILL INTRODUCE YOU TO A LEVEL OF HELL AND PAIN EVEN THE DEVIL DOESN'T KNOW ABOUT!"
I felt the blush cover my face all the way into my hairline, "You..uh.. you all heard that?"
They all laughed again while Nick said, "Pixie, you tapped into your Luna power and spoke with such authority we had no choice but to listen. I think even the surrounding packs heard you."
"I'm sorry, but I had to stop her, she was... she was going to...." I felt the tears well up in my eyes as I remembered what was about to happen right before I yelled those words.
"It's okay, what matters is whatever it was didn't happen and you and Maddie are safe now." Nate said as he kissed the top of my head.
We worked our way through the room stopping to thank individual men along the way. Eventually we made it to the kitchen just as the first batch of cookies were coming out of the oven. I stopped in the doorway not sure if I should go in or not. Maddie is there wearing a child's sized apron and a chef's hat and so is Charlie and Val. They aren't the ones who give me pause. There's a little boy who looked just like Maddie did a couple years ago but with short hair. He too was wearing an apron and chef's hat but I think he probably had more flour on him then were in the cookies and judging by the chocolate around his mouth a fair amount of chips had been snuck as well. Even the little boy, although a curiosity, was not the one to give me pause it was his parents, Jackson and Amber. They were sitting at the island with their backs to us laughing with the kids.
Maddie and her younger brother.
Maddie and her father.
My heart hurt. I didn't know what to do. Should I walk in and ruin the moment. Should I turn around and walk back to my room? I know I would have to deal with this sooner or later but this felt too soon. My heart had been hit with so much over the last week, hell my heart had been pretty beat up over the last couple of months. Without even thinking I found myself backing away slowly shaking my head. Too much, this was too much.
I turned around and started walking, I don't really know where I'm going, just, away from them. Nick and Nate followed me but at a short distance like they knew I needed some time alone, some time to think. When I was at my apartment I had plenty of time alone to think but I had been so consumed with guilt and shame at my own actions I hadn't even given any thought to the whole Jackson/Amber thing. Now it was staring me in the face and again I took the cowards way and walked.
"I think I have the perfect place for you to think." Nate's voice was gentle but he still managed to startle me as he placed a hand on the small of my back and turned me towards a door at the end hall on the right.
Nick came up to the other side of me and also placed his hand on my back. He reached forward and opened the door into a beautiful, feminine, office. The center of the room was dominated by a large desk that was made of grayish wood and a glass top. The color scheme was similar to my closet but had more of an authoritative feel to it. The wall on the right was lined with bookshelves that was only about a third of the way full. Behind the desk was a long credenza made to match the desk. There wasn't much in the ways of table top décor. In fact other than a lamp on the desk and a few potted plants on the credenza the surfaces were completely clear. The wall to the left was floor to ceiling windows with an excellent view of the sweeping field behind the pack house. There was also seating both in front of the desk and in front of the windows.
"It's stunning." I sigh. "Whose office is this?" I ask walking forward and running my hand along the glass top of the desk, noting how there were no fingerprints or streaks left when I let my hand fall away.
"This, is your office. Do you like it?" Nate asked.
I turn to face them, "I love it! It's like someone read my mind and knew exactly what I wanted when I didn't know for myself."
"Mom did this. She said she wished someone had designed her office for her because the very beginning of being a Luna can be overwhelming and beyond stressful that having this one thing done especially by someone who has filled that role before it's one less thing to worry about. She also said to let you know that when you are ready she will give you a tour of the space and explain the different hidden features and why she thought you would find them helpful." Nate explained and all I could do was nod my head as I continued to walk around looking at stuff.
There was a light knock at the door for a moment I thought I imagined it but the guys turned and looked at it before turning back to me.
"We don't have to answer that if you don't want us to." Nick said, his voice was, uncertain.
"Do you know who it is?" I asked him.
He nodded but it was Nate you answered, "It's Amber."
Just like that my small bubble of distraction popped, the solace I felt slipped away. I could continue to avoid her for as long as they're here but that will only delay the inevitable. Might as well get this over and done with but at least this time I was expecting it.
"Go ahead and let her in." For a split second I considered sitting in my chair, behind my desk, to show her that I was in control. But in the end I just stood there, waiting for her to come in.
Everything felt in slow motion, as Nick walked to the door and opened it. I saw her in the hallway looking just as scared as me but also just as determined. Behind her was Jackson, his eyes kept bouncing from her to me and back. There were also Nick and Nate in the room with me no one said a word. The tension was suffocating.
So many ways I could greet her. Most of them snarky, rude, and bitchy but in the end all I said was "Good Morning Amber."
"Good Morning Jemma. I was wondering if I may have a word with you?" She asked, her tone almost timid.
I nodded and she started to walk into the room Jackson quickly following behind her. She paused and turned around to face him. "If you come in here with me, you will stay quiet." Her tone was completely different when speaking to him versus when she spoke to me. It was interesting to watch the interaction. He nodded and followed her in the rest of the way.
Nick shut the door and he and Nate stood on either side of it as if standing guard. Amber and Jackson sat in the chairs in front of my desk and I needed some space so I walked around the desk to sit in my chair, which was amazingly comfortable.
I folded my hands on the desk and waited. Everyone was looking at Amber and she was looking at her hands. She took a deep breath and then another before she looked up and met my gaze. I was hoping I had a neutral look on my face but I wasn't sure. My emotions were all over the place.
"I would say I'm sorry but that feels so woefully inadequate for what I did. I'm not asking for your forgiveness because what I did was unforgivable. I was weak and a coward. The moment that I had done it I instantly regretted it but I couldn't think of a way to fix it. I had already deleted everything. I felt so sick to my stomach and prayed and prayed that it was just a terrible dream but it wasn't. I had become someone that I despised in that moment of weakness, someone I was ashamed of. I knew it was a very real possibility that Jackson would find out what I had done and I would lose him forever." Tears were running down her face and I saw Jackson reach over and take her hand. "I can only imagine how you felt, I read the anger in your texts, I heard the rage and pain in your voicemails and I knew I had done that to you. A woman I had never met whose only crime was to fall in love. If there was a way that I could take it back. If there was a way that I could make it up to you, to Jackson, to Maddie please know that I would give anything to make that happen."
A few days ago I would've relished in the idea of her groveling in tears. Now it feels... futile. All the regrets in the world wouldn't change how things played out. Would I trade where I am right in this moment to go back and try a different path? No. I wouldn't. I may have been through a ton but I got a lot out of it was well.
"Amber, a few days ago you would've gotten a completely different response from me. Now, it feels pointless to continue to be angry about this. I will not deny that it hurt, a lot, to read those words thinking they came from Jay, I mean Jackson. But not having him there gave my sister an opportunity to fill a role she wouldn't have otherwise had and out of that she and I became extremely close, she's now my best friend. Even though life was difficult I still finished school, found a great job, met great people because I had Maddie. Got the opportunity to switch to a different dental practice that was only offered to me because my former boss would have felt bad if she didn't help me out. That led me here. Although I made a wrong turn and we all know how that ended. It just feels like no matter the wrong turns we make in life, somehow we'll end up on the right path.
"I too made a monumental mistake a few days ago when I took the word of a scorned she-wolf who claimed she was pregnant with Nick's baby but that he was rejecting her for me but only did so because he felt obligated to because of the mate bond and his commitment to Nate." I can hear his growl starting to build but I shot him a look to zip it and miraculously, he did. "In a sense I was put in the exact same place that you were. New to the mate bond, accepted but not marked. Recent ex-girlfriend pops up out of nowhere claiming to be pregnant. She claimed the same situation that you were scared of, that my mate wanted to reject me to be with her but felt he couldn't. You reacted in an extreme way and so did I just on the other end of the spectrum. I figured I wasn't going to be like you and drive a wedge between my mate and his child. That he and that baby had every right to be together and who was I to get in the middle. It's not like he had marked me, right? So instead I drove a wedge between us. I rejected them so he could be free to be with the one he really wanted or at least that was my intention. It wasn't until I was alone in my apartment that I realized what I mistake I had made but I didn't know how to fix it. I was so torn and I could bore you to death with all the things that I had running in my brain but at the end of the day I'm just thankful that I was given the opportunity to make up for my mistake. To work on undoing the damage I'd done. To build a stronger relationship with them.
"Perhaps that's what this is. The Moon Goddess has heard your prayers and has given you an opportunity to make up for your mistake. To work on undoing the damage that has been done. To build a strong relationship with your mate. However I feel that to introduce him to Maddie at this point as her father would only confuse her more. The four of us, Nick, Nate, Maddie, and Myself all had a shared dream where she calls them Daddy and Papa and she has been calling them that for awhile now. Also I don't want any future children to not think of her as their full sister, there will be no half-siblings in this family." I say with conviction as I look at my mates and they nod their approval. "How does your son refer to Nick and Nate?"
Amber's tears had stopped and she took a shuddering breath, "Malcolm calls them Uncle."
"Then I propose that Maddie call you Aunt Amber and you Uncle Jackson. Is that agreeable?" I feel like I'm making a business deal and not deciding my daughter's family dynamics.
Amber nodded and Jackson spoke for the first time, "That seems reasonable but I do have a question for you. You had told me you were on birth control, I remember that irritating alarm you had set on your phone to remind you to take your pill everyday, so how did you end up pregnant?"
"Simple. I don't know if you remember that horrible sinus infection I had."
"The one that had you so sick you couldn't keep anything down but you refused to let me take you to the student clinic so I threw you over my shoulder and forced you to go. Yeah I remember it." He chuckled slightly.
"Yeah, I was stubborn. Anyway, the antibiotic they put me on was one that had the side effect of rendering birth control pills ineffective for the duration the treatment." I remember grilling my OBGYN about how I could have gotten pregnant when I was so relentless about taking my pill on time every, single, day.
He just nodded his head. I can tell he is still processing everything. He will be doing that for awhile. Then an idea occurred to me. "When I get my things from the apartment I have photo albums and a hard drive full of videos of Maddie from before she was born all the way to a week before we moved. Would you like to go through them and watch them with us? Maddie loves watching her movies and this way all of you can see what she was like when she was smaller."
All 4 of the faces in front of me lit up. But it was Jackson who responded "Thank you Jemma." He had tears in his eyes.
The spark I used to feel when I looked at him before he left, the pain I used to feel when I lost him were completely gone. Now he was just Jackson, my mate's cousin who is more like a brother to them. We may have history but he has found his mate and I can tell he loves her with all his heart. I look up at Nick and Nate, and I have found my mates and I love them with all my heart. I know we'll make mistakes I just hope that we'll always have the opportunity to fix them.
There was a knock on the door and Nate opened it, "See, we found them." Val said as she and Charlie walked Maddie and Malcolm into my office Charlie was carrying a tray piled high with chocolate chip cookies.
Malcolm climbed up on Amber's lap the same time Maddie climbed up onto mine. "Mommy, Grandma Val and Aunt Charlie helped us make cookies and they're so yummy! You have to try one." Maddie beamed as I took one off the tray and bit into it. I gave an overly dramatic moan of delight to make Maddie giggle, which it did. However based on the way both Nick and Nate had froze with their cookies half way to their mouths my moan had a completely different effect on them.