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𝐎𝐦𝐧𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐭..
"Thank you all for coming today." Ashley, their therapist said and they all nodded silently
They had all decided to start back therapy when Ashton came back into town and he blew up was the short story and Shaniyah well everyone was convinced she was back on drugs.
"Let's start back from our last session."
"He didn't love me. He claims he did but he didn't." Shaniyah started
"I loved you Shaniyah so none of this even matters." Jade said annoyed
"Now Mr. Greene let her explain. Shaniyah?"
"He never loved me."
"What do"—
"Mr Greene."
"He never loved me Ashley he made that clear not just with his words but his actions."
"Would you like to explain further?"
"H-he broke me. It was like after he left or went back to her I'd break because he was all I had and he knew that." She said
"Jade?" Ashley said looking over at him
"I loved her. She just didn't want to believe it because she didn't feel needed and Shaniyah she just needs a reason.. because if I don't need her then what the hell am I doing with her? She wants all the fucking control because if not then how the fuck is it possible that I loved her? The Shaniyah that was so doped up she couldn't stand right or the Shaniyah that was so fucked up we couldn't fuck for months! And if I don't want her for her body then why else would someone like me want something to do with her let alone love her?"
Jade said with a sigh, closing his eyes to breath. He was working himself up
"I never"—
"I'm not finished! I loved Shaniyah I fucking did that's why I couldn't stay away from you but you didn't want to understand that I could love you and not need you." He spat
"That's not fair Jade! I loved you.. I loved you unconditionally why? Because I valued mystery, the unknown it's what supports the tension of a relationship and forces us to be the best of ourselves. It's the what if factor. What if theres someone who loves him better, or smarter. Nicer. Did everything he wanted. But you don't care about that. The reason you don't get jealous is because you don't value that is because you don't value the mystery. The reason you don't care if you're the best fuck I've had, the smartest, the kindest or the most interesting is because it's inconceivable to you that there is anyone on this planet that is more interesting that you are.."
"Your lack of curiosity is merely an extension of your narcissistic, your egotistical view of the word and as a result of never doubting yourself, you never stop to ask yourself how can I be a better partner? You are good. You are set. The man were all looking at right now is as good as he's gonna get."
"Read the fuck outta him." Dejah couldn't help but comment
"Shut the fuck"— He started but Eliana cut him off, "If you loved her then why didn't you just leave me alone?" She asked
"Well what was I? Was I just the backup? The girl who you slept with after getting fucked over?" She asked and they all looked at him waiting for a response
"No. You were a fresh of breath air.. the one good apple in bunch of rotten ones but Elle I'm so fucked up and it eventually rubbed onto you."
"That's it? That's all you could come up with?"
"I'm not the only one at fault Eliana I lied a lot but I never put a fucking gun to your head and forced you to stay." He spat
"What?"
"I begged, I apologised and you forgave me not because I forced you but because you wanted to."
"Because I wanted to?" She asked in disbelief
"Ye"—
"You think I wanted to be depressed to the point where I couldn't eat? Where I couldn't even look after my fucking kids? You think I choose that bullshit? I loved you with everything in me because I had no one! My dad was there but he wasn't, my mother died when I was kid and my step mother hated me and punished me any chance she got so I'm so fucking sorry Jade that the first time someone saw me as a human and showed me love I fell for. You broke me and God knows I prayed, I begged and cried to him, begging him to stop the pain in my heart every time I ignored a call, a text, every time I ignored your drunk ass outside my door step calling me every fucking name under the sun... I begged him to save me from the person I loved the most.. from you." She screamed with tears teaming down her face
"I messed up and I"—
"You don't get it though because you just sat there and said that she choose everything you did her Jade." Ashley said
"Okay she didn't choose it all but I didn't force her to stay and I stick by that she had outs. I gave her chance to leave time and time again yet she stayed so I'm sorry Eliana but I can't and I won't take all fault for what happened between us because it's not all my fault you and Shaniyah knew what was up at some point and you still stayed."
"That is true." Ashley agreed
"You was just on her side." Shaniyah mumbled
"I'm not on anyone's side. I saw where she was coming from and now I see where jades coming from also." She said
"Well he's a piece of shit either way."
"You can fucking talk." Jade spat
"Don't even speak to me."
"That's all you've fucking got! You're my mom yet it's like you care more about him and he's telling you he doesn't fucking love you and he never did!" He screamed and Julia wanted to tell him to calm down but he had to let this pain out
"I tried my best."
"No you didn't."
"Yes I"—
"No! You fucking didn't! You broke me.. I didn't know how to love because you and pops decided to not only fuck each other up even more but fuck your kids up too." He spat
"I needed you. I begged for you and all you ever cared for was a man and drugs.. you didn't change for us you changed for Marcus and god knows how long that's going to last for."
"Your father pushed"—
"I stuck beside you." Jade said cutting her off
"Okay? I didn't ask you to and you didn't stick besides me because you loved me. The whole time I was addicted you only chose when you
wanted a random hookup or when you wanted to play pretend house for a few nights."
"You left me with our son."
"So did you."
"What? When did I fucking leave my son?"
"You left! You went to prison Jade! You could've easily got a fucking job but you choose the fast way and left not one but three of your fucking kids behind."
"If I was such a fuck up of a mother why would you risk it all and leave them with me?"
"Because deep down you know you're just as bad of a parent." She spat and he shook his head
"That's not true! I've never chose drugs or bitches over my dam kids."
"Is that supposed to hu"—
"No! It's supposed to get through to you that you're a shit mother! You walk out on your kids so much they're use to you not being here!"
"Oh really?"
"Yes! This isn't something I want to say! You think I'm proud that the bitch I was in love with was a crackhead? Huh? That you're gone so much I'm just fucking waiting on a call saying that you're dead." He barked and she flinched
"I don't wanna have to look my kids in the fucking eye and tell em' you're dead Shaniyah.. I-I can't do that shit to them and I can't fucking do this alone." He said looking her deep in the eyes
"That's not going to happen Jade."
"How do you know that? Last time you promised that bullshit you ended up in a ditch."
"Leave me alone." She said annoyed
"Let's talk to some of your family." Ashley suggested trying to calm everyone down
"I don't get why they have to be involved." Eliana complained and her sister laughed
"Eliana please."
"What?" Eliana spat and Jade was shocked she had never been this negative before
"You're a mess. Do you not see this? You're clown at this point." Samatha, her eldest sister said
"Oh shut up Samantha you're barely here."
"You barley speak to us! How are supposed to understand you let alone this pathetic love triangle." She screamed
"You bet on my relationship! You laughed in my fucking face and hung up the phone." She screamed,
"You didn't even support me." She whispered
"Am I supposed to feel bad? You missed my wedding because you had to visit that thug you call a boyfriend."
"Watch yo mouth." Jades dad said but Samantha waved him off
"You messed up Eliana the minute you lowered not only your morals but your standards for a piece scum like him." She spat
"Shut up." She begged
"It's the truth Eliana! You messed up not us so we're sorry we didn't stay back and support your bullshit of a dam relationship."
"Well my daughters ten times worst." Rena mumbled but they all heard her
"Oh mother please you didn't come to my wedding." Shaniyah spat
"I didn't even know if a wedding was going to take place." Rena said sipping on her drink
"Do you know how offensive that sounds? This is why I didn't even called you when I found out that Marcus had cancer!" She screamed and everyone went quiet
"What?" Jade asked but she shook her head
"You didn't even tell me Niyah?" Dejah whispered
"You're barely around anymore! You act as if we aren't even friends anymore Dejah so I'm fucking sorry I didn't tell you the love of my life is dying!"
"Are we supposed to feel better that your boyfriend and friend doesn't know?" Rena asked
"She's so unreliable I don't even believe this is true." Yaya said
"More like delusional." Kodie said
"Did she mention the time she crashed my car into a ditch then proceed to come back and say someone stole it.. with the keys?" Rena asked
"Or the time she was drunk at aunt ants funeral that she got so drunk she ruined the funeral."
"I wasn't drunk I was high." She spat
"And yeah.. I had some pretty fucking bad years but you don't have to bring up every bad thing I've ever done." She finished
"Yeah unlike you we have actual lives that don't revolve around a man." Yaya said with a little laugh, "The point is Shaniyah we don't have the time and I understand you may believe that Marcus is ill but"—
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"It means you've always been impulsive."
"You don't think things through you just do whatever the hell you want.." Kodie added
"And if you're really clean we can't blame the drugs or your husbands tumour." Yaya started in a taunting tone but Shaniyah cut her off
"You don't know me!" She screamed
"You have not seen me in years! I'm trapped in your mind as a kid who didn't know how to heal! A kid who was broken because her parents, friends shit everyone around me failed me!" She screamed
"I am not that person anymore! I've been sober for years, I take care of my kids! And I'm a hard fucking worker, top of my dam field!"
"Do you know how many kids I save a day? I tell my story and I work my ass of so they don't turn out like me so don't any of you ever fucking tell me I haven't changed for the better because I have!" She cried before turning around and looking at kodie and Yaya
"And you two I fed you! Who do you think took care of you when she hated your guts? Huh? Because it wasn't her and Rashaurd was too busy running the dam streets!" She screamed
"I've never been perfect but don't! Just don't fucking sit here and pretend you're perfect."
"Everyone calm down and sit down for a second." Ashley suggested and they all sat down
"There's clearly a lot of pain in every one of you but let's just try and talk about this?"
"My mother was a terrible mother whilst I was growing up and she only changed because of my dad not because of her three kids."
"If it helps My dad sucks too."
"Watch you"—
"No. It's true my dad cheated on my mom every chacne he got now that I think about it he's like Jade but weaker." She said
"Would you like to explain more?"
"He made three kids well four but my brother died when he was a infant but for someone reason my mother never left she stood by him up until her very last breath and what did my dad do to honour her death? Nothing he married that whore as soon as my mom died and then he forced me to call her mom."
"I-I didn't mean"—
"Mean what? To let your daughter be abused by the woman who terrorised my mother up until her very last breath?" She snapped
"Elle I loved your mother I did it's just that I wasn't in love with her."
"Then leave! If you don't love someone fucking leave." She cried
"I think the reason Eliana stood by Jade is because of you. You broke her trust at such a young age she knew nothing else but to stick by someone who showed every chance they got that they didn't care." Ashley said
"It's a trauma reflex."
"And for you Shaniyah the family around you are nothing but blood and that doesn't make family."
"What's that supposed to mean?"
"You failed as a mother. And so did you raushard you failed your children and Shaniyah ran to men and drugs to feel something because her parents were a mess. Just because you decided you've changed and moved on doesn't mean your child will forget."
"And kian you failed your son the moment you showed him that it was okay to disrespect women and run the streets as his father you failed him especially since you knew he didn't have another parent to fall back on."
"I tried my best. I was doing it all alone."
"Yeah?" She asked
"Yes what's that sup"—
"Jade when was the first time you sold drug?"
"What"—
"Answer the question."
"I was twelve.. maybe eleven I'm not sure."
"What did your father say when he found out?"
"I should keep a strap on me just in case."
"At what age?"
"I was thirteen I think." He whispered and Kian looked down embarrassed
"That was all you could do?" She asked facing him and he stayed quiet, "You failed him."
"You all failed your kids in this room and that doesn't excuse any of their actions but don't any of y'all care sit there and judge them because YOU made them who they are today."
They all sat in silence, they were tried even those who barely said a word this session felt exhausted just from witnessing the anger, resentment and pain they held against each other
"Hopefully our session next week will lead to a more positive path." Ashley said
Ashton Greene ..
"I-I just want this all to end." My grandma said but my mom shook her head, "you don't get to do that."
"What are you talking about Shaniyah?"
"You don't want it all to end you wished it never happened but it did mom I-it did and I thought for so long that if I could change and pretend that I was someone else.. someone else, someone worth loving that it'll all go away but I've tried everything and it'll never go away."
"Nobody is saying that Shaniyah."
"You didn't have to! I just told you that I'm loosing the love of my life and you all questioned me." She screamed, her voice shaking
"I've changed but I'll never be nothing but a unreliable crcakhead in all your eyes." She whispered walking away
"We should go home." Julia whispered grabbing my hand, it was shaking
"I-I can't leav"—
"I meant our hotel we'll go see her tomorrow morning." She said and I nodded
"See y'all another time." I said waving and we left
"You did great."
Omniscient
"Shaniyah I"—
"What?! What could you possibly have to say to me Jade?" She asked and She couldn't hold in her tears anymore
"You know Jade I use to love you! With everything in me but you didn't give a shit about me. Did you?" She asked
"Look at me. Just stop." He said pulling her closer to him but she pushed him away
"No! Just admit it! Admit it goddamit you never fucking loved me!" She screamed
"I did! I loved you but you didn't fucking love yourself so we wouldn't work." He barked
"Jade"—
"Stay out of this Eliana!" He spat
"I loved you! But you didn't love me or our kids as much as you loved the drugs."
"Did you ever stop to ask if I was okay?"
"I did and you were fine."
"Yeah.. I thought it was I really wanted to be okay." She whispered
"You never said that you weren't okay Shaniyah."
"Because I thought I was! B-but how could I be?"
"Shaniyah.. you never said that you weren't and you always made it clear that you wanted to be with me." He said stepping closer to her but she moved back before he could touch her
"Because I was fourteen! I-I was fourteen and I had a crush on you and I-I thought it was something more because I didn't know any better but you did! You did Jade. You knew it was wrong and you let me fall for you blindly... we were doomed from the start." She said and he shook his head
"Don't paint me out to this monster.. please don't." He whispered, tears escaping his eye lids but his eyes look stone cold.. empty even
"It's the truth! I was a drug addict and you didn't really care"—
"Don't you fucking stand there and say I didn't care!" He barked cutting her off, making both Shaniyah And Eliana flinch
"You didn't. You cared when it looked bad that you were fucking a known strung out crackhead or worse when you had a child with one but other than that my issues, my trauma, and my fucking pain was my issue and never yours."
"I-I'm sorry." He whispered, after years of pain he'd finally seen what he had done to her
"It's too late." She spat walking away
"Shaniyah wait." He called grabbing her
"Just stop.."
"What"—
"No. just leave me the hell alone."
"She's right you know."
"Shut up Eliana."
"Don't speak to me like that."
"Then mind your damn business."
"You can't treat people like this Jade!"
"Then leave! I don't care what the fuck you do Eliana because I don't care about you! How many times do I have show you that?"
"T-that's not true." She stuttered
"Yes it is. I never loved you Eliana and I get that your marriage is going to shit but there will never ever be a me and you again."
"Y-you think I want you back? After all you've done? I would rather die than that! I want a apology.. I want you to understand that you hurt me but you'll never understand that because you don't give a shit." She said shaking her head
"Eliana I didn't mean"—
"Yes you did Jade." She said with a sad laugh before leaving and there he was alone again
He'd chased everyone whoever cared about him or loved him away and now he had no one.
"Well Jade it's just me and you." The voice in his head laughed, "L-leave me alone."
Two months later..
"You can't just walk back into my life Eliana."
"I never left to begin with." She mumbled sharing out the food,
"So you disappearing for a month, refusing to even talk to me wasn't leaving?" Neko asked
"I didn't abandon"—
"You left! Me and our kids Eliana!"
"You ran away and never looked back"—
"Our son died! My son died in the place where he was supposed to feel the safest Neko! I died with him that day and if I didn't leave I would've never made it out alive for you, for our kids.. or for myself." She screamed throwing the dirty pot into the stink
"I needed you Eliana! I lost my fucking child too."
"Yes. But you didn't feel him dying! You didn't feel like your own body killed your baby when it was supposed to protect it." She screamed
They stared at each other for a good thirty minutes before she let out a bitter laugh shaking her head, "What pisses you off more Neko?!"
"Was it the fact that I left to heal or was it that I didn't need you to heal?" She questioned
"The thing that I needed was you! And you left!"
"I've apologised."
"I survived. You survived. But I don't think that we can survive this Eliana." He said slamming his cup down and storming off
"Neko you can't do this!" She creamed following behind him, "Yes I can."
"Neko"—
"They day we got married we vowed to each other that no matter how hard, how tough things got that we'd stay together but you broke that not me.. this is all on you Eliana no one else."
"I'm sorry."
"Sorry just isn't enough." He choked out
"The locks will be changed by time you get home from work tomorrow."
"N-neko please don't do this to me.. to us!" She cried but he shook his head,
"You did this to us the moment you walked out on me.. on our marriage, on our goddam family." He said and she nodded trying to wipe her tears but it wasn't working
"I-I understand." She said nodding sucking in breath , trying to control her emotions
"Good.. we'll figure out things with the kids some other time."
"W-what?"
"You left them Eliana."
"I didn't leave my kids! I lost my child and I knew that if I stuck around without getting help I'd hurt them even more."
"I need you to leave me and my family alone.."
"Do you despise me that much?" She asked looking up at him
"No I hate myself."
"Why?" She asked confused
"For allowing myself to love you once."
"You should leave my kids will be home soon." He said getting up
𝐎𝐦𝐧𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐢𝐞𝐧𝐭
"And you've been healing for how long?" Shaniyah asked looking at the mama files
"Around three years but the pain still feels like it happened yesterday." He said with a laugh
"You've had around thirty accidents these last two months?" She asked again still unsure
"Y-yeah." He mumbled scratching his neck
"Mr.Childhood.." she trailed off but he knew by her eyes that she knew
"Which story?"
"W-what?"
"The one where I left my kids for pills? Or the one where I was almost beaten to death but I stayed with him because he could provide me with drugs?" She asked closing her note book
"I-I have no idea why you're talking about." he lied and she nodded shaking her head
"Take a day off and go get yourself some help because you need it and you'll regret not getting it." She said and he looked down, blinking a few times avoiding her
"I just needed the noise to stop."
"I have a son."
"He was around you age."
"Ashton?" He asked
"No Ashtons my grown up baby but Jake.. he well he was a crazy one but that was my mini me. He was amazing b-but a few years ago he died."
"H-how?"
"Messed with the wrong crowd. At first I didn't eat for at least a week, barely spoke to his dad and I shut the world out because then I'd eventually feel like I was gone."
"You have a mother that treasures you and I know that your father isn't the same but just imagine your mothers pain if she ever got that call?" She said
"Don't give up and get help because this pain, this issue isn't going to heal itself."
"Okay?" She asked
"O-okay." He nodded
"Good, I'll call your mother."
After work, her house.
"What is this?" She asked when she walked through the door and saw Rena, Rashaud, Dejanaih, Eliana, and Ashton say across from her
"You've been.. different since his passing." Rena started but Shaniyah shook her head
"Don't start. Not today mother."
"Have you taken your pills? I understand how you feel." Rena said
"We understand you." Jade started
"I don't care!"
"I wish I never met you! And I don't care about what you understand because you're not me! And I'd do anything to not feel like this." Shaniyah screamed turning around to leave, she grabbed the door handle but slammed it back shut a few times
"I-I would give up anything for him to be here again!" She cried failing to the ground
And Dejah ran up to her, cradling her in her arms and Shaniyah held onto her tightly. Finally letting her tears out, her pain out and Dejah held onto her like her life depended on it
"I've got you niyah, and I'm never letting you go." She whispered, a few tears escaping her eyes
"I-I don't want to feel like this anymore." She kept on crying and Dejah nodded going to stand up but her grip tightened on her
"I'm just going to say something I'll be back."
"Um you should all leave."
"What that's my daughter"—
"Well you barely act like it so get the hell out!"
"Don't talk to"—
"Get out!" Shaniyah screamed
"Get the fuck out!"
They left immediately, without any more questions or doubts.
Later that night..
"I heard about your break down." Eliana said sitting down on her bed.. on Marcus's side
"Get up and get out of my house.."
"You know. It's funny, how you judged me time and time again, but look at you now. You're a fucking mess." Eliana said looking up at Shaniyah showing her red eyes
"Are you on drugs?"
"No! Do I look like you Shaniyah? You've always been a mess, you failed as a person, a friend, a student, a daughter and as a fucking parent." She said going to go on but Shaniyah slapped her in the face
"You don't know me! You don't know what I've been through, or what I've had to overcome because you've never been in my shoes." She said
"You've never lost the love of your life.. you've never had to watch your soulmate die right in front of your fucking eyes. You're never cried over the body you love the most. You don't know how that messes a person up."
"Shaniyah"—
"He saved me! He loved me through everything and showed me that i could come back from the pain I caused and endured my entire life! And just for him to die? For him to tell me it's okay whilst he was dying.. you don't know or understand how that fucking messes a person up."
"You've never had to crawl your way back up just to be okay! Not perfect or even better but just to be okay but I have." She whispered
"And I-I'm trying okay? I'm fucking trying but until you've been in my shoes.. don't you ever! Don't you ever try an tell me that what I'm doing isn't enough." She said and all Eliana could do was look at her and in return all she saw was a broken women that hated herself and everyone else in the world
"I-I just needed him to be okay." She cried and Dejah nodded pulling her into her arms
"I'm here.. I'm here."
"I just want him to come home to me and the kids."
"It's going to be okay." She whispered because what else could she say?
Everyone failed her again and again but this time even Dejah, the person who always believed In her the most wasn't even there whilst she watched her husband
Who's wrong? Jade or Shaniyah? And why
Who's wrong Neko or Eliana and why?
Who's wrong? Eliana or Jade?
Thoughts?
Marcus died, Jake is in a coma and it seems like Eliana and her marriage is going through it rn.
A/n: I'm really bored so here's a 4890 words. Enjoyyyy.