"Lingering, bottled-up anger neve reveals the 'true colors' of an individual. It, on the contrary, becomes all mixed up, rotten, confused, forms of highly combustible, chemical compound then explodes as something foreign, something every different than one's natural self." - Criss Jami, Healology
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Caden's POV
"Question."
"Answer."
Silas tilts his head to look up at me from my lap, and that gives me the perfect opportunity to shove my fingers up his nose holes.
Okay, yeah, I'm kidding, who knows what dark creatures live up those caves, but anyway..
"Why do you have such an ugly record." I can feel the smile vanish from my face. "We've been dating for three months and you are definitely not the type to steal cars."
I look away from, embarrassment and shame creeping up my neck. It's not like I didn't think he'd bring it up again, but knowing that I have to lie to him now doesn't ease the queasiness in my belly.
"Um, well, it was complicated, you know." Okay, WHAT DO I SAY??
It's not like I can just tell him that my brother forced me to do all those things so that he can buy whatever he bought off his alcoholic friends. It'd expose everything; not just in these three months, but the years that I have endured my brother's abuse.
I don't know why I choose to continue to live under this fear.
That's a lie. I do know why.
Exposing my brother would feel like severing ties with all of my family. I already lost my mom and dad, I can't lose my brother too, no matter what he does to me. We're family. I may not love him as I used to and he may feel the same way, but... I just can't.
"I was- I was troubled as a child, you know. I, um, I hung out with bad friends and they influenced me. I don't like talking about this, can we just drop it, please?" I try to express the desperation in my eyes to change the subject and I can see the recoil in Silas's eyes when I look back at him.
Finally shifting back to the TV, we continue to watch Friends as I run my fingers through his hair. I have to say, these last three months have been amazing. Our relationship has been quite private in regards to work. I'm still his PA but we keep things strictly professional.
I know how important Sanders Corp is to Silas and I don't want to do anything to impede on his success.
"Sawyer and Sage are coming over in about an hour. Do you want to get dressed or continue to watch friends," Silas asks casually, and I am relieved he's dropped the subject of my arrests.
"Mmm, we can watch Friends while we get dressed," I suggest.
Silas shrugs his shoulders dryly, and my eyebrows bunch in confusion.
Is he upset? Does he know I'm lying? Are we going to break up?
Okay, chill, Caden, you're getting ahead of yourself.
I push his gently off my lap and stand up from the couch.
Maybe if I give him some time to think and cool off, we'll be good again. That's what I usually do with Cole.
"I'll get dressed, you stay here. You can tell me if my outfit is good, okay?" I divert my eyes from his, not wanting to lock eyes as to confirm that he is upset.
I leave the living room before he can reply and head for the master bedroom upstairs. "Hmm, what should I wear?"
We're having a dinner to celebrate the new partner between Nguyen Enterprises and Sanders Corp. I had brought a dress before I came over (discussing the dress with Izzie first, of course) and placed it in his bathroom. I straighten my hair to give a blow-out effect and spray some perform I bought a couple weeks ago.
Because I don't own any makeup (having always borrowed some from Izzie and Leia), I just apply some Vaseline on my lips before checking myself in the mirror.
The dress is beautiful. It was a one-shoulder, long sleeve black satin evening dress, with a long slit down the side of my thigh. I paired it with a small clutch and some jewelry I borrowed from Izzie.
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I look beautiful. I just hope Silas thought so too.
When I came back downstairs, I notice Silas still sitting on the couch. His gaze is up at the TV but I can tell he's paying very little attention to Ross yelling "YOU ATE MY SANDWHICH" five million times.
"I'm ready," I call out.
After a few seconds, Silas stands up and faces me. His bored expression vanishes and a small smile plays on his lips. "You look fucking breathtaking." I smile internally, but tilt my head upward and reply, "I know."
I tease him with a smile and take a step forward to kiss him before walking around him, towards the remote.
A loud chuckle drowns out Chandler's sarcastic quips and before I can think of anything, Silas's hands come to my waist and picks me off the ground.
He sets me in front of him and kisses my neck. "Why are you such a tease," he says while breathing into my nape.
I moan out loud when he trails his tongue from my collarbone to my earlobe. "Silas, you have to get ready," I whisper breathily.
"Do I?" He looks at me with a knowing smile before continuing to assault my neck with his murderous kisses. "Maybe we should just skip it and stay in all night and I can give you cuddles and you can give me head scratches?"
Ugh, I so wanna do that instead.
"As appealing as that sounds, we promised your brothers and I got all ready for nothing. How about we do it after?" I smile at him knowing it'll be the death of him. And as predicted, he slumps his shoulders like a five-year-old child and drags himself to the stairs.
"You better not give me empty promises," he warns. "I would never." I blow a kiss to him before sitting back down on the couch.
Ten minutes later, with Silas all suited up, Sawyer and Sage arrive.
"CADEN!" I rush to Sawyer and bring my arms around his neck. He lifts me off the ground and twirls me so much, I thought I was about to vomit right then and there.
Sawyer and I have become so much closer when me and Silas started dating. I had asked him if there were any good self-defense trainers that I could join and he had happily let me join his own private trainer. Yes. Private.
I giggle when he sets me down. I turn my attention to Sage and also give him a bear hug because everyone likes bear hugs.
Sage has mostly been reserved, even after me and Silas got together, but I don't push anything. I'd hate to force a bonding. Maybe he just doesn't like to talk much or just doesn't like me. Whatever the reason, I leave him be and he does the same.
"How's my little sis doing??" Sawyer calls out. Ugh, "little sis."
Sawyer has always been telling me how he had wanted a little sister but of course, his mother had to birth three boys. He's held a grudge against her ever since, even in death.
"I forced Silas to watch Friends with me," I reply happily. Not that I'm trying to abuse my power, but I have noticed some things when I'm around Silas.
First of all, he stares a lot. And I mean, A LOT. At first, I got anxious that maybe there was something wrong with my face or something, and when I'd look away embarrassed, he's just turn my face back to him and say "You're beautiful, you know that?"
Yeah, that always sent my heart racing, no matter how many times he's said it.
Second of all, similar to the first one, he stares at my lips a lot. At first, I thought it was because he wanted to kiss me, but even when I'm just smiling or laughing at something, his eyes go to my lips. I'm not really sure why but I've never complained. His eyes go into this weird translucent color and it's like he's trapped in an illusion when I pretend not to notice.
And third of all, if I ever want anything or force him to do anything, all I really have to do is smile and kiss his neck. Or threaten to take away his head-scratching privileges. Yes, the CEO of Sanders Corp is a sucker for head scratches. Anytime we're in bed or on the couch, he always lays on my lap and puts my hand in his hair. Even when we're sitting next to each, I have to bend my arm all the way to his gargantuan frame and scratch his head.
So, safe to say, my word has a lot of sway. I never thought myself to be the manipulative type but I kind of like having some control over Silas, even if it is making him watch iconic sitcoms with me.
I've always felt helpless, but with Silas, I feel free, or at least, freer than I've felt in a long time. And he lets me be myself around him, something I always felt the need to hide.
I guess in a way, I am hiding some things from him, but what he doesn't know won't hurt him.
"Did you like it?" Sawyer looks to his older brother. Silas shrugs. I feel a shift in his mood again, and I can't quite place what the cause may be.
"You guys ready go?"
We all nod our heads. Or at least, and Sage do. I didn't look at Silas. He's being weird.
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Silas's POV
She's lying to me again, I can feel it.
It sucks even more now because I feel like she knows I know she's lying. I mean, she's a horrible liar to begin with so it didn't take all the much effort to come to this conclusion. Why she feels the need to lie after we've been dating for three months still boggles my mind.
I don't like it.
What is she hiding from me?
I mean, I know I'm not one to talk when I also have secrets I'd rather not share but... it's just different, okay.
I hate the fact that she's been through so much shit over the last few months because of me. I want to make up for it. For all of it. But if she's lying to me, it feels like all the progress we've been going is just going to shit.
I know I shouldn't feel this way but I do. I want to get to know her inside and out.
Okay, I guess it's still pretty early in our relationship and we still have a lot of time to discover things about ourselves.
The thing is, I wish I had gotten that memo before dinner started.
I was already a little peeved when I was forced to change the subject even though I really didn't want to. But when I looked up at her, I could feel and see the pain and regret radiating off her. I don't want to force her to do something she isn't comfortable with, no matter how much it might kill me.
That's what I want. To feel her pain. For her to share what she's been through even if it's bad. Because if she does, I know it's because she trusts me with that sort of information.
But if she doesn't...
Okay, Silas, get a grip on yourself. You have plenty of time, stop trying to rush things.
Again, wished I had learned that before dinner.
Stepping into two separate cars, me and Caden together, Sage and Sawyer together, I open the car door for her as I normally would.
Let me emphasize by saying, yes, I was in the wrong. I was pissed off that she was lying to me and I really wasn't looking forward to this dinner when I knew Philip would be there.
So yeah, I fucked up. But I'll get to that.
I knew what I was doing when I ignored Caden throughout the car. But don't let that devoid from the fact that she look's fucking amazing right now. That dress is doing her fucking justice and it gave me a momentary weakness when I first saw her.
But I still couldn't let go of the sting when I remembered the past she was keeping from me.
AGAIN, I should been a fucking adult but instead, I became who I used to be before I met her, and I should've known better.
When we arrive at the restaurant, some fucking fancy place that I couldn't remember because I was still upset, I opened the door for her and immediately placed my hand on the small of her back.
I would make it known that this woman was mine even if I was upset. Maybe Philip will take the hint.
But I refused to meet eye contact with her and instead, spent all my attention guiding her through the restaurant as Sawyer babbled about his latest boyfriend.
When we finally arrived to our seats, I noticed Mr. Nguyen, his wife, and his son already seated.
I have a momentary stare down with Philip as his gaze switches between me and Caden, and the hand that found its way around her waist.
"She's mine," I glared as he looked dumbfoundedly between the two of us. When we all finally take our seats, me and Caden sitting beside each other while Mathew sits on her right, and Sage and Sawyer on our left, the menus are presented to us.
"You look beautiful, this evening, Caden," the fucker says to my woman. I guess he didn't take the hint. I can already feel my blood boil but try to recoil in the anger while still in front of Mr. Nguyen.
"Anyway," Sawyer says out loud, noticing the veins in my neck pop out. "Let's all have a toast on our new partnership."
Everyone sighs in relief, almost as if they knew the tension that sparked between me and the bastard.
We all lift our wineglasses and clink each other, mine half-heartedly as I continue to scowl at Philip.
Out of the corner of my eye, Caden shift uncomfortably in her seat. Why? I have no idea, but she's probably just confused as to how I'm acting.
First I was dry, then all kisses, then dry again, and now possessive. Yeah, I don't blame her.
The waiter soon comes and we all order our food. I just bought the mean dish I saw and quickly closed the menu while Philip spent the whole ten minutes gazing in Caden's direction before also ordering some random-ass dish.
He probably did the same thing I did, that fucker.
When our food arrived, conversation quickly struck up, mostly between Mathew, my brothers, and Mr. and Mrs. Nguyen. Caden just silently eats her food and Philip continues to stare at her.
I didn't know how much more of it I could take. It's bad enough he's staring at someone who's clearly taken, but Caden's also seems to be upset and I have no fucking idea why.
"Do you like your food?" she whispers next to me.
"Mhm," I grunt back, still being the asshole I fucking was.
She sighs out loud before shifting again and then excusing herself to the bathroom.
Just when she's out of our hearing, Philip finally pops a squeak. "She really is beautiful."
My hand clenches on my fork. Sawyer quietly whispers, "Easy, there," but I can't fucking help myself.
"Yes, I know. She is also taken, so I'd appreciate it if you stopped gawking at my girlfriend."
I was a fucking stupid asshole.
The moment he understood my words- No, the moment he got me to admit those words, he took the fucking opportunity. "I see." A chuckle echoes out of him as Mr. and Mrs. Nguyen obliviously talk to Sage about God knows what.
"I see Sanders Corp isn't against superiors having it with their emploees, huh?"
"You fucker." In that moment, I was seeing red. I wanted to grab that fucker by the collar and smash him against the wall, pouring down punches on his face.
Luckily, Sawyer had enough reasoning for the both of us. Right has my legs had start to push my chair, he gripped my arm with enough force to stop the blood circulation. "How about you go to the bathroom, Si?" I divert my attention to him and notice the desperation in his eyes, similar the Caden just two hours ago.
Breathing in a deep breath, I nod silently and excuse myself out of the table.
That fucker. That motherfucker was going to pay, I just didn't know how.
How dare he insinuate anything about our relationship when he doesn't know shit.
I should've went to the bathroom to calm down and that was my initial plan, but that until I saw Caden coming from the women's just as I was about to enter.
Without thinking, I wrapped my arms around her waist and smashed my lips against hers. She was momently shocked before becoming aware of what I was doing. Or at least, what I was trying to do.
"Silas, stop," she said while gasping for air. "No, just a little more." I needed her right now. I need to feel her against me and shake my mind off the bastard in my head.
"Please stop." Sighing, I relinquish her lips. "What are you doing?"
"That bastard fucked with my head and I needed to forget about him."
Her confused face turns into something else. I should've known what it was. After all, I say I want to learn everything about her right. Well, I guess not enough. Or I should have watched what I said.
Because her cheeks had turned a bright scarlet shade and her eyes zero in on me with so much anger I've never seen in her before. "Oh, so that's what I am to you? Some sort of forgetting devise that you can use whenever you need it?"
I'm taken aback with her words because that's not what I meant at all, but she continues. "It's bad enough you ignored me the whole night. You can't just come assaulting me with kisses whenever someone upsets you to "forget it."' Her voice is calm, collected, but I can feel the anger and frustration behind every word. "I'm not some object to be used or ignored whenever you feel like it. Come back to me when you realize that."
She walks away in a calm, passive aggressive manner, and I just stand there baffled as how to this night just turned into shit.
I stand there like an idiot for five minutes trying to digest this whole shitty fucking night and thinking of ways to save whatever I can salvage.
After rinsing my face with water, which I hoped would rinse the shitting feeling in my stomach but failed, I finally muster enough courage and made my way to our table.
When I finally seat back at my table, you can imagine my shock and anger when I see that Philip and Caden are having a nice chit-chat.
Yep, she's laughing a storm, and Philip is unknowingly (or knowingly probably) admiring her. All I wanted to do was slap that smile out of his face, but instead, I had to endure the next 45 minutes in silence as everyone around me spoke in idle conversation.
And when the check finally came, and the dinner was paid, I knew I fucked up when Caden said, "Can I ride with you, Sawyer?" Sawyer obviously said yes, and I trusted my brother to take her home safely.
As we waited outside, I noticed Philip talking to Caden again. To a stranger, he looked like the perfect gentlemen. He kept his hands to himself, nodded his head as Caden spoke, and smiled all throughout. But to me, he was a bastard hitting on a taken woman.
I couldn't stand it. But I had enough control to wait until Caden had gotten into Sawyer's car before making my move.
Coming from behind, I shoved his ass to the ground before reaching his collar and lifting his head off the ground. "You do so much as look at her the wrong way and I will fuck you up, got that?" He just smirks and nods silently before releasing him.
I walk to Sage's car, where he is evidently waiting for me.
When I step inside, I can already see his head forming thought bubbles as to what to say but I say it for him. "Don't. Just drive. I don't want to talk about it."
He sighs in relief.
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A/N: Um, so I see we have new readers. AhHHHH, okay, I'll admit I haven't checked Wattpad in a while so I didn't know that this story was getting votes and views until my dad showed me. But anyway, HII. This story hasn't gotten that much traction so I am so happy that people are enjoying it. Because of this, I'll definitely have more motivation to create chapters on a regular basis. Thank you for all the votes and nice comments! And this story has reached 10k views!!!! AHH THANK YOUU.
Word count: 3597
- christina