It was the night of the party.
Yuna, who looked exquisitely handsome in her suit, drove Yeji and Lia to the grand ball. Yeji wore a simple black off-shoulder dress while Lia wore something extravagant, a full-skirted red cocktail gown curving the shape of her body.
Felix brought his boyfriend along while Yeri and Taeyong, who are almost done with their internship, came in together too.
Ryujin and Chaeryeong came in together too. Although limping a bit, Ryujin can walk now without a crutch.
Chaeryeong is wearing an elegant green dress while Ryujin wears simple smart casual attire: black slacks, v-neck shirt inside, and a gray wool coat. They went first to greet Yeji's team, where a little punching battle happened between Ryujin and Yuna, then they went straight to sit at the graphics team table.
Yeji watched Ryujin and Chaeryeong as they walk away from them, determined to do one thing tonight.
---
Yeji's mood is ruined but this certain couple from the other table.
She's trying to stay calm by pretending to be happy, talking to her team. But she can't stop herself from looking at the Graphics Team's table and see 'them' happy and sort of sweet.
The feeling Yeji thought would go away lingered instead, and it went worse as the night passes by. It's like a poison that slowly builds up in her chest, gradually getting heavier, making her feel like she just wants to explode.
"Hey. You sure you're all right?" Lia asked her for the third time that night.
"Yeah. I'm just not feeling quite well, maybe getting a fever or something," said Yeji.
Lia checked Yeji's forehead with a hand. "Do you want to go home now? I could ask Yuna to drive you."
"No. I'm fine. Let's just enjoy tonight."
Out of the blue, a burst of loud laughter from the Graphics Team caught some attention. Yeji couldn't control herself from looking again, only to see Chaeryeong laughing with the entire team, one hand on Ryujin's thigh.
Yeji quickly averted her gaze and sighed.
"Are they together yet?" asked Lia, looking at the same table.
"I don't know." Yeji shrugged. She sliced the chocolate cake on her plate and took a bite. "Maybe Yuna knows something?"
"Uh. No." Yuna made an 'x' sign with her arms. "Ryujin isn't the type of friend who shares things like this."
"But I thought you were the best buddies?" asked Lia.
"Yes, we are. But Ryujin isn't a fan of confiding about girls unless she's having a problem. Unless there's no issue yet, I don't think she will share details about her thing with that Chaeryeong."
Yeji bit the inside of her cheek, thinking if Yuna already knows what happened between her and Ryujin.
"I could ask her straight if you two are curious," said Yuna.
"Let's just assume that they are together," said Yeji, not wanting to hear more about them. "Even if they aren't official yet, it's obvious now that's where they'll head, right?"
"Maybe," said Lia, glancing one more time at the other table. "But I thought Ryujin is in love with another girl?"
Yeji and Yuna looked at each other quickly.
"Uh. That. I don't know what happened to them." Yuna scratched her head. "The last time we talked about that girl was before the Ryujin's accident."
"Have you met her?" Lia followed up.
"Uh--"
"All right ladies and gents!" said the host on the stage. "The ball is now open for anyone who would like to dance. The real party has started!"
People screamed in excitement. The dance floor is now swarmed with people. Men in suits took their coats off and folded their sleeves up. Some women in dresses didn't mind dancing without their heels. Others were prepared enough to bring extra attire.
"Your highness, would you do me the honor of accompanying me to the dance floor?" asked Yuna, offering a hand to Lia.
"It'll be my pleasure." Lia took Yuna's hand. She got up and turned to Yeji before leaving. "We'll be right back."
Yeji is glad not all of her team members were in the mood to dance, giving her some company while waiting there. She took that opportunity to observe the couple from the other table.
"Ugh. How would I be able to talk to her if that Chaeryeong won't leave her side even for a second?" she muttered to herself.
Yeji couldn't count how many times she sighed that night. The need to fill her lungs with oxygen arises each time she sees Chaeryeong and Ryujin laughing at each other, smiling like no one else matters.
It just made her think: is there still a point talking to Ryujin tonight? Would that even help in changing the current situation? What if Ryujin is really over her?
Isn't it ironic how she loved seeing Ryujin's smile and despised it at the same time just because those smiles were meant for another person?
If would have been Yeji had she been brave enough.
Yeji felt her heart jump when she saw Chaeryeong and Ryujin get up from their chairs, Chaeryeong gesturing a hand to the dance floor. Yeji unconsciously placed a hand on her chest, feeling her heartbeat rising.
The two walked towards the crowd with Chaeryeong patiently assisting the limping Ryujin.
Yeji felt a pinch in her heart when Chaeryeong guided Ryujin's arms around her waist.
Despite the loud disco music, Chaeryeong and Ryujin started swaying together, slowly yet sweetly.
Yeji felt shortness in her breathing. The weight on her chest makes her want to burst now. She can literally feel her heart erratically beating at the moment.
"Yeji?"
She didn't notice that Lia has already approached her. Her eyes were locked on the dance floor.
Chaeryeong moved closer, hooking her chin on Ryujin's shoulder. Ryujin whispered something to her ear, making her giggle.
Chaeryeong pulled away and stared at Ryujin's face. She held Ryujin's cheek with both hands...
... and slowly... Chaeryeong leaned forward to...
Yeji looked away and stood up from her chair. Her vision is blurry. She aimed for the exit but Lia grabbed her by the arm.
"Yeji, what's wrong?"
Yeji turned to Lia quick, still trying to hold off the rainfall.
"I don't know... I don't know..." Yeji shook her head. She yanked her hand away and strode towards the exit.
---
Lia tried to call out one more time but her friend didn't turn back. She trailed where Yeji was looking at and saw the scene.
Right there and then she knew it.
Yuna, who saw what happened, held Lia by her waist. "I think you should follow her. I'll try to talk to Ryujin too."
---
Because of her blurred vision, Yeji doesn't know where her feet had brought her. She ended up in some place that looked like a playground.
She clasped for something that seemed to be a back of a chair to support her shaking body. She sat and covered her face with her palms.
It's all clear to her now. It's over. Everything about her and Ryujin is over.
But what she can't accept is the fact that she knew she had the chance, she was just too dumb to take it. And now it's all gone.
"Yeji..."
All her inhibitions faded when she felt Lia rub her back. Yeji couldn't hold it this time, everything flowed out. Her sobs grew louder as it shakes her small frame.
"Just cry it all out," said Lia, sitting down beside her. "It'll lessen the pain somehow."
"Is it... is it supposed to hurt this way, Lia...?"
"Yes, it is. It hurts that way because you love her."
Yeji turned to face Lia, wiping her tears with her own hands, which is pointless because tears just keep rolling down from her eyes.
"I always thought this is just a phase... something that will go away in time..." Yeji shook her head. "But it didn't..."
Lia sighed.
"Was... was I wrong for being scared, Lia? Was I?"
"No. No. You're not. That's perfectly normal." Lia brushed the remaining stray hair away from Yeji's face. "You were struggling because you never thought you'd fall for someone like her."
"But it is my fault... She... she confronted me about it and I pushed her away..." Yeji trembled. Her voice was all nasally due to her stuffy nose. "And now look at me... crying over her because she's found someone new..."
Lia pulled her friend for a hug. "What do you want to do now?"
"I just wanna go home..."
"Don't you want to talk to Ryujin first?"
"No... I just want to go home, please..."
Lia continued rubbing her friend's back. "Okay. Okay."
---
"W-what was that for?" asked Ryujin, stunned. Although the kiss neither touched her lips nor her cheek, it left her dumbfounded.
"That's for the final blow," said Chaeryeong with a smirk, fixing Ryujin's collar. "I needed to pull out a show for your girl to realize what she really feels for you."
That made Ryujin look at Yeji's table and found her not there. "You--"
"I made her jealous," said Chaeryeong. "I had to make her feel I'm into you so she'll feel alarmed. Not that I'm not into you. I mean, I like you but not really romantic."
Ryujin scratched the top of her head in confusion. "I don't get it."
Chaeryeong rolled her eyes. "Just go and follow her out. She went that way. I'll answer your questions some other time."
"But what about you?"
"I'll take a cab home, Ryujin."
"You sure?"
"Definite. Now off you go before I get mad at you," said Chaeryeong, shooing Ryujin. "Just make sure that the next call I'll be receiving from you is good news, okay?"
That made Ryujin smile. "Sure. I owe you big time, Chaeryeong."
---
Ryujin saw her handsome friend in suit walking towards her.
"Dude, what the hell was that? I thought you love Yeji?" asked Yuna. "What was that thing with Chaeryeong?"
Ryujin pinched the bridge of her nose. "It's hard to explain things now. But please tell me where Yeji is. I need to talk to her."
"You better fix this or else Lia will kill you," said Yuna, leading the way out.
---
The two looked around but couldn't find Lia and Yeji. It is when they've finally gone back inside when they spotted Lia walking alone towards the entrance.
Ryujin, who was still limping, approached Lia as fast as she could. "Where is she?"
"I helped her get a cab. She's on her way home."
"What? I... I need to follow her," said Ryujin, fishing her car key from her pocket.
Lia tapped her shoulder. "No need, Ryujin. It won't work for now. Let her anger subside first. I suggest you talk to her tomorrow."
"Bu--"
"You won't be able to fix it tonight, I can assure you that."
"But, Lia..."
"She might be right, dude," said Yuna, putting her arm around Ryujin's shoulder. "The damage looks bad. Let Yeji cool down for a while. Settle this tomorrow."
Ryujin stared at Yuna and Lia for long before she sighed in defeat. "Fine."
"Maybe you should go home too, dude. You look tired."
"No. No one's going home yet," said Lia, making the two look at her. "No one's going home unless you two tell me what exactly is happening here."
---
"Dear, what happened?" said Yeji's mom, knocking on her door.
"Just... just work issues, Mom. I'm going to sleep now," said Yeji, trying to make her voice sound as clear as possible.
"No. You're not okay."
"I'm fine, Mom. Just leave me alone for now..."
"Is this because of Yeonjun?"
"Yeonjun and I are okay. It really is work issues. Don't worry about me..."
"Or is this because of that Suzuki Swift owner friend of yours?"
Yeji whipped her head to the door, bewildered.
"Shin Ryujin, right?" asked her mom.
"H-how did--"
"Why don't you open your door first so we could talk better?"
Yeji obeyed. The door revealed her mom leaning against the door frame with crossed arms.
"Don't you realize I have my connections to look up the owner of that car's plate number?"
Yeji grimaced at her stupidity. "I don't want to argue with you on this, Mom," she said, plopping back down her bed. "And for the sake of your peace of mind, we're not together, okay?"
"So, it really is because of her?"
As much as Yeji wants to take the idea off her mind, it keeps on recurring to her.
"Mom, please... I don't want to cry again... I just want to sleep... I still have work tomorrow..."
The older lady sat down beside Yeji. "Tell me, what happened?"
Yeji thought she had already cried everything out from the hotel. But she felt the ache coming back and her eyes were teary all over.
"Why does it have to be so painful?" said Yeji, her voice breaking.
The older woman rubbed Yeji's back. "What has she done to you?"
"Nothing... I was the one who hurt her first... I told her I cannot be with her. And now I can't stand seeing her with someone else..."
"Oh, darling."
"I did it because I know you won't accept it, you won't accept her; you won't accept us, right?"
"B-but I thought you like Yeonjun?"
Yeji shook her head. "What I felt for Yeonjun is nothing compared to what I'm feeling for her. I just couldn't admit it to myself before..."
Yeji cupped a hand over her mouth to stifle her sobbing. Her tears kept on wetting the pillow. She thought she was okay after all the crying earlier but it feels like she's back to square one.
"I'm sorry, Mom..."
"What are you apologizing for, dear?"
"I'm sorry for being like this... for disappointing you..."
"Oh, dear."
"I've tried to stay away from her... I don't know how it happened. The next thing I knew is I can't go on a day without seeing or even hearing her voice..."
Her mom sighed.
"And I'm sorry for keeping this secret from you, Mom..."
"Didn't you think I already have an idea about it?" said her mom.
Yeji looked her the older lady. "What? H-how?"
"I'm not dumb not to notice how your mood is so vibrant each time that red Suzuki Swift drives you home or picks you up. It's something that I've never seen before from you, that's why I investigate."
"Then why didn't you say something?" asked Yeji, sitting up.
"I was waiting for you to tell me about it. I thought it was just a simple crush, so I didn't bother to confront you about it. But as time goes by, it seems to me it's getting deeper. That's why I've thought of forcing you to go out with Yeonjun," her mom admitted.
Yeji put her hand up to her neck and looked away.
"I thought going out with him would bring your old feelings back. But as I can see, it didn't work. That Shin has surely something, huh." The older lady scoffed.
Yeji was able to make out a small smile.
The woman reached for Yeji's hands. "Let me clear it up. I still don't want you having that kind of relationship..."
Yeji looked down and nodded.
"... but at the same time, I don't want to see you cry like this again because of me."
Yeji looked up to her mom.
"I know how it hurts to lose someone you love. I've been there when your dad left us," her mom said, stroking Yeji's hair. "But it's more painful to know that you love each other but you can't be together because the others just can't accept it."
"Mom--"
Yeji's mom hugged her suddenly. "Oh, dear. I should be the one apologizing because I've caused you so much pain. Didn't you think I noticed how slowly you were dying these past few weeks? Was it because of her too?"
Yeji nodded. "But I'm gonna be fine..."
The woman pulled back. "I'd like to make it up to you. I'd like you to know how it feels to be loved by someone you love. I'd like to see that smile again on your face which I only see each time that red car drives you home."
Yeji stared at her mom. "What do you mean?"
"Don't hold yourself back now, darling. If there's still a chance, get her back and smile again."
Yeji's jaw fell.
"But on one condition," her mom said, raising an index finger. "If everything goes okay, bring her here to meet me."
"Oh." Yeji bit her lower lip in hesitation.
"I promise I won't kill her, okay? I'll just skin her alive."
"Mom!"
The older lady laughed. "I'm kidding, okay? As long as she doesn't hurt you I'll keep the knives on the shelf. Is that clear?"
Tears formed again in Yeji's eyes, not because she's hurting but because she's feeling close to her mom more than ever.
"Thanks, Mom. I love you..."
"Now stop crying there and get some sleep." The older lady wiped her daughter's tears and hugged her again. "I love you too."