As my lungs burned and muscles strained, I let out all of my frustration towards myself and my situation into my throw, as I rotated my hips and threw my practice partner over my shoulder. After he hit the ground, I gave him a second to recover before I held my hand out and pulled him up.
"I'm gonna go in a minute." I said to the rest of the Judo club as I walked over to my water bottle. I'll probably take a shower to get the sweat off before going to see Sumire, as she should be at her home by the time I'm done.
"L/n, you can't keep leaving so early. Last time I checked, you were one of the youngest people in the club." the president said
"Yeah, and sadly I'm one of the best so why not just let it go." I snapped back as I turned to walk away. I hate doing judo, but I don't really feel like I have a choice about it as I am right now. But that just exacerbates the bad mood I'm in.
By the time I got through the showers and changed back into my school uniform, I saw that the time was around when Sumire said she'd be getting back from her practice at Yuigaoka. And so I started my walk over there, sending her a text that I wanted to see what she's up to in a bit.
"Like always, she's reaching out towards the stars while I'm stuck down here..." I muttered to myself.
I've known Sumire since we were both pretty young, my family living pretty close to her family's shrine. Because of that, I got to play with her and learn about her as well as trying my best to support her in her endeavors in show business. We even went to the same school until this year now that we're entering high school. However, while she's always dreamed and worked hard to become famous, I'm stuck without any particular ambitions and talents beyond a sport I've long since gotten tired of. She's worried about not ever being able to stand out in the past, but she's always shined the brightest in my life. But in the end, I've never told her. She's always worked so hard for her ambitions while I don't have anything, and so I can't tell her. It feels like we're close, but in the end so far away and in the end, I don't feel like I don't have any right to tell her how I feel, to tell her that I love her.
As I climbed up the steps towards her family's shrine, I saw her waiting on a nearby bench. And as I walked up to her, her eyes met with mine, and she smiled.
"Hey Sumire, how did things go for you?" I said
"They were great, I've only been an idol for a little while, but it's been fun so far." Sumire said
"That's great to hear." I said as I sat down beside her
"What about you? How are things in the judo club?" Sumire asked
"Fine I guess." I said, making sure to not mention the fact that I snapped at the president earlier.
"Y/n, you do realize I've been around you long enough that I know you're lying." Sumire said
"Huh? No you don't." I responded
Sumire smiled confidently and said "I do. Your tell for when you're lying is that you'll always cross your arms and put your left hand to your chin. So come on, tell me what's wrong."
I sighed as a small smile formed on my lips. "Yeah, I guess you have been around me long enough to notice my tells. The truth is just that I'm sick of judo. I've never been the biggest about it, but I apparently have a talent for it so I try to stick to it, but I'm just getting to the end of my rope." I hate telling her this stuff because I worry about burdening her with something that is in no way her issue, but she can be stubborn and I dunno if you would just let me keep it secret
"Why are you doing it if you don't like doing it?" Sumire said
"Why?" I repeated in response before going quiet for a moment. Because outside of it I don't really have any talent? That the only reason I've done it as long as I have because people expect me to do this stuff? Should I really tell her that? How would I say that? Those thoughts swirled around in my head until I let out a frustrated sigh and said "Well I have no clue what else I should do. It's not like I have anything else I'm good at."
"Don't talk like that Y/n, it doesn't matter if you don't know if you don't know what you would do. Just take your time to find something that makes you happy and I'll make sure to cheer you on, just like you do for me." Sumire said
This girl is always working hard for her goals and yet I know without a doubt that she'll find a way to cheer me on just like she's saying right now. "You'll be stuck supporting me for quite a while you know. And who's to say that the pressure from other people won't just make me give up?"
Sumire gave me a reassuring smile and wrapped her arms around me. "We've been around each other for more than ten years, and I want to be able to help you feel even a little bit of the happiness you've made me feel."
It'll be hard to get all those people expecting me to stay as some prodigy to just give up on me doing this, and there may be some who'd hate me for wasting my supposed potential, but in the end Sumire is right, I'm not happy doing this and while it'll be hard to overcome all the difficulties, I know that I'll have Sumire's support, and with that, I'm sure I'll be able to go through with it.
"Thanks, Sumire. And I'm sorry that while I came to see what you've been up to, it turned into this topic." I said.
"It's fine Y/n, we still have plenty of time." Sumire said, smiling at me.
From there, our conversation drifted off to more fun topics. As I am now, I'm not good for anything besides emotional support for other people in their efforts toward their dreams, but with a seed of resolve blossoming inside me, I swear that I'll try and find what I want to do and where I can be happy. Then, when I'm finally halfway decent at it and the distance between us has been pulled apart some, I'll tell Sumire how I feel about her.
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One Year Later...
Since Sumire helped me pull myself free from how I had felt, I've slowly but steadily spent a little bit of time doing whatever I could think of, trying to find something that clicked with me in a way that made me happy. I went from trying different sports, to trying to see if there was something in the sciences that just clicked to me, and so on. And now I think I've finally reached my starting line as I feel like I finally found something that makes me happy to do. I'm admittedly pretty crap at it, but that just means there's all the more work for me to do before I get to a place where I can tell Sumire how I feel. But of course, before I get to work, I want to tell Sumire that I think I've finally found a path I want to walk down.
As I walked up the steps to her family's shrine, where we had agreed to meet up, I saw Sumire standing up, keeping an eye out for me.
"I'm here." I said, a feeling of fulfillment and optimism for the future swelling in my chest for the first time I can think of.
Sumire ran up to me and asked "So what did you end up finding you like doing?"
"I'm pretty crap right now, but I like painting, I dunno if this is the path I'm gonna try to go down in the end, but I just can't help but find this joy in it that I haven't found in anything else." I said
"I'm so glad to hear that Y/n." Sumire said, hugging me. "If there's any way I can help, just be sure to tell me, alright? I'll be sure to find time to do what I can."
As a smile began to form on my lips, I said "There's really just one thing: be there for me. Throughout this whole thing, part of what helped me feel like I could keep going is that I knew that you were still there to support me if I needed it. So please stick by me for a while longer and watch me grow, alright?"
Sumire's expression softened as a smile appeared on her face and she said "Y/n, that's exactly what I was planning on doing." she then put her hands onto my cheeks and pulled me into a kiss on the lips before she said with a blush "Y/n, I love you. I have for so long."
"You do?" I said, dumbfounded. Sumire's is beautiful, ambitious, and hard working while I'm just me. But she loves me? It makes me incredibly happy to hear, but am I really good enough for her as I am now?
"Of course I have Y/n, while we've known each other for so long, you've always been somebody who put all of his faith in me and always gave me your support. And I wanted to tell you sooner, but I decided that once you found something you were passionate about, I'd tell you how I feel." Sumire said, smiling despite the bright blush on her cheeks.
As what she said ran through my mind, I pulled her closer to me and said "I love you too. You're such an important person to me, but I felt like I wasn't anywhere good enough for you. So I thought I would tell you when I found my passion and got half decent at it."
Sumire giggled slightly and said "It looks like we both were waiting for the same thing, weren't we?"
"Sumire, I know I'm not much but will you be my girlfriend?" I said
"Come on Y/n, don't talk about yourself like that, after all, there's nobody who I love quite like I love you." Sumire said "So how about you trust your girlfriend?"
"Right." I said
From there, we spent a while talking about our new relationship and reminiscing on our time together so far. I love this girl with all of my heart and so through all manner of mistakes I may make along the way, I'll keep going in working hard so that I can keep saying to myself that I'm good enough for her. So that my path walking alongside her can last forever
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A/n: And now my oneshots for all 36 main heroines in Love Live are completed. But unlike last time where I called it good, I don't plan to call it quits just yet. But I won't talk about that quite yet. You wonderful people can expect an announcement about the details this next Friday.