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Reasons
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Chapter 4: Reasons (Ronan's POV)
My phone rang in my pocket while I sat at the beach, watching the sunset. I spent the entire day wandering around Runville, getting familiar with the town again, dropping in, and saying hello to some people.
I sighed, taking my phone out and answering it, seeing 'Damon' flashing across the screen. I'm surprised nobody changed their number. I changed mine when I left for Boston, I wanted a whole new start. It did cut me off from everybody here but I knew if I didn't do that, I'd come crawling back home within a few days. I'd barely last a week. I kept their numbers though and I'm guessing when I told Mom and Dad I was coming back, they must have given my number out to Damon.
I answered the phone, putting it to my ear while staring at the waves. "Hello?"
"Where are you?" he asked. He sounded a little out of breath and spoke unevenly so I'm guessing he was walking somewhere.
"At Darkest Coast," I answered, staring at the sand while I drew shapes and patterns using a stick I found nearby.
Darkest Coast is the name of our beach. I don't know when it was named that but there's a reason behind the name. At night, the sky here is absolutely pitch black. You don't see any hues of blues or any silhouettes of clouds. But the moon and the stars shine the brightest. They light up the whole beach and you can make out where everything is. The moon is always huge either, whether it be half or crescent, there are thousands of stars every damn night without fail.
"What are you doing there? The sun is setting, they'll close off soon."
"So? Nobody would even find me here," I replied, throwing the stick to the side.
"Your mom said you wanted to meet."
I hummed in response.
"What? How old are we? Five? You could have called if you really wanted to meet."
"I didn't think you'd want to meet me."
"Aw," he laughed, "how kind of you to actually consider my feelings this time."
I sighed, resisting an eye roll.
"Don't be stupid," he said. "More stupid than you already are anyway. There's no chance you're surviving Runville this time without me, brother. Where on the Darkest Coast are you?"
"Near the cave," I answered, turning around when I heard footsteps.
A couple of seconds later, he was standing there, the phone still against his ear. He sighed and hung up, waving the phone at me. I put my phone back into my pocket and faced the waters again. He walked over, dropping his backpack on the sand before sitting down, pulling his knees in, and resting his elbows on them. "Hey," he huffed.
"Hey," I mumbled, watching the waves kiss the shore before leaving again.
"You're back," he stated, "for good or...?"
"Not sure," I answered. "Still deciding on that one."
"Huh, well welcome back. So, what did you do today?"
I turned to him in confusion. "Are we really trying to make small talk?"
He faced me. "No? You want to cut straight to the bullshit? Sure. Why'd you do it?" He stared ahead again and then started digging up shells and tossing them in the water.
"Do what?"
"Leave like that."
"Are you seriously asking me that? You out of all people know, you're the first one I told that I was leaving and I told you why too."
"I'm not saying you shouldn't have left, you asshole. I'm saying you shouldn't have left the way you did. You told me but... Whatever, it's already done."
"But what?"
"You didn't tell the others," he cleared his throat.
"Was I supposed to tell the whole town? You know, this is exactly what I hate about Runville. Everybody thinks that everybody else's life is their business too and they have every right to know."
"You didn't have to announce it to the whole town but you should have told London, don't you think?"
I kept my mouth shut. There's no point in talking about London with Damon. Actually, there's no point in talking about London with anybody because everybody understands her and nobody understands my point of view. I've learned to accept that for what it is. "Let's not talk about that," I sighed.
"Why not? What?" He looked at me, dusting his hands. "It still hurts you to talk about her?"
"Why are you trying to piss me off?"
"Well, you pissed us all off when you left, I think you can handle it," he chuckled dryly. "I saw her today after a while," he said after a long pause.
"Why? Did she stop talking to you too?"
"For a little while," he nodded. "I think only the first year you were gone. She was mad that I knew and didn't tell her."
"What did you do?"
"I said sorry like a billion times and then let her be. I gave up. But then I finally got the job at the school after interning there for a while and she showed up to congratulate me. She didn't hold a grudge after that," he shook his head softly. "She called today after a couple of weeks. Said you showed up at her store. She freaked out."
"And what did you tell her?"
"Not much. I was running late for work so I left. What happened at the store?"
"Not much," I mumbled, "she ran out first. When she came back, she seemed more put together. She was kind of cold."
"Makes sense."
"She kicked me out as fast as she could."
He chuckled softly, "Also makes sense."
"She hates me," I sighed.
"Do you really expect her not to? I mean, you do know how she felt after you left, don't you? She can't possibly be happy to see you, especially out of the blue."
"I know that but..." I trailed off, not knowing what to say and getting frustrated with myself. Everywhere I went today, I had no idea what to say to people or how to answer their questions. I feel like a scared little puppy and that's pathetic considering this is my hometown. I need to stop worrying about what people are going to say, just how I did that before I left. And people around here need to stop being so damn judgemental. But that's never happened now, has it? "She doesn't know, so I don't blame her. But I had my reasons when I left, you know that."
"Yeah. And your reasons were justified if you look at it from your point of view. But you would hate her if she did that, wouldn't you?"
"I'd be happy for her, Damon."
"She's happy for you."
"Right," I scoffed.
"She is. A part of her. You know, right after you left, people in this town had a lot to say about you, Ronan. A lot of nasty things. And she didn't let them."
I turned to look at him.
"If she ever heard anybody badmouthing you, she was first to step up and ask them to stop interfering in your life and the relationship you two had. I can't count on one hand how many times she defended you behind your back. She doesn't hate you for choosing yourself. But she might hate you for the way you ended things. I think that's fair."
It is. "And what about you?" I asked.
"What about me?"
"You hate me too, huh?"
He laughed, shaking his head. "Nah. I don't hate you."
"Liar," I replied.
"Really. I don't. I knew it was coming, you told me in advance. I didn't like what you had to say but I understood it anyway. It's whatever. You're back now, that's what counts. We don't have any problems to work out, that's just you and London." He stood up, dusting off his pants and taking his bag with him. "I'm there whenever you need me." He looked down at me. "Get up. It's pitch black out and we'll be locked in here soon. We don't have any tents to sleep in this time either," he smirked.
I thought back to our camp night here. It was Damon, London, Damon's girlfriend at the time, and me.
"Come on," he groaned, holding a hand out. "Deal with your emotions later and have your melodramatic moment then. Let's go."
I laughed softly, grabbing his hand and pulling myself up. I dusted myself off and then we started walking back.
"What are you going to do now?" he asked as we walked along the sidewalk, heading to our neighborhood.
"Not a clue," I clicked my tongue.
"Oh, by the way, why did you even go to The Last Chapter? You know it's her store."
"Yeah, but I didn't know she ran it. My mom said there's always a guy helping her out, I thought she wouldn't be there. And I went to ask them to order copies of my book."
"Some balls you have showing up at her store and asking her to sell your books," he snorted.
"Who's that guy though?" I asked, tucking my hands into my pockets as we walked.
"Ah, him? That's Dylan."
"Who's Dylan?"
He watched me in amusement. "He just finished college in the city. Apparently, his grandparents live here and recently passed away. He inherited the house so he moved here. He's been helping her at the store since he moved but he would visit his grandparents every summer and he'd help her then too. They get along, they're friends. Why? Jealous already?"
"Shut up," I scoffed, giving him a push.
He chuckled as we reached our street. "See you around?" he asked.
I nodded.
"Night," he said and then continued walking to his house.
I opened the white gate and walked past our front yard and to the porch. I was about to unlock the front door when I heard the door to her house opening. I leaned against the door, waiting for her to come out.
"Yeah, I'm bringing the mail, one second!" she called out. She came running out. She had on a black zip-up jacket with pink sweatpants and her hair was thrown up in a bun. She had a small key in her hands which she used to unlock the mailbox and take all the envelopes out. She locked it up and turned to leave when she spotted me. She took in a breath before looking away and quickly walking back inside, closing the door behind her.
I closed my eyes, hitting my head against the door, sighing in frustration.
.
.
.
.
.
Chapter 4
I think I'm in love with Kim Seon Ho
anyways
next chapter: lunch