Chapter Four: I Want The World In My Hands
Beep.
Beep.
Beep.
Beep.
Pain, pain, pain, pain, pain.
Voices echoed, "She doesn't want to talk Rossi! You didn't see her, she is going to be sensitive, we are not treating her like a criminal!"
You groaned quietly, not loud enough to grab whoever's attention. What is going on? What are you laying in? The stale smell of disinfect was so familiar that it stung your noise. It was like lemon flowers mixed with mildewed water. The constant beeping was causing your headache to only grow. Fabric was wrapped around parts of your limbs for some reason. You couldn't recall anything that happened in the last twenty four hours.
"We need to focus on finding him!" he sneered, "He did this and ran out, we need to worry about where the hell his man is instead of interrogating a woman who isn't even awake!"
You recognized that voice. It was on the tip of your tongue- Adam- no, Aiden, Adrian? Who the hell was in your room with Rossi?
"Axel has already been spotted in Virginia, we have this under control," Rossi placed a comforting hand on Hotchs tense body in an attempt to calm him down. Red coated his once white button up. "We aren't going to treat her like a criminal, you know this Aaron."
Aaron.
Aaron, your boss. What is he doing here? A steady beep was turning rapidly as you started panicking. God, why can't you just open your eyes? Your breathing was rapid and your mouth was screwed shut like a mummy. Footsteps rushed over to you, holding you
down steadily with voices swarming the room.
"Y/N you need to remain calm, you're in the hospital," Aaron's soft voice cooed to you.
Encouraging words weren't helping, the state of confusion was overwhelming your brain, mixing memories and reality. Not knowing what happened was so horrible, the last thing you remember was getting dressed for the halloween party. Axel was in a rush to get there and get back but you were throwing things in your purse and then- nothing.
"I don't- I d-don't" you stuttered out in a state of hyperventilation. "What's happening?" Your eyes finally peeled open to reveal the bright white lights that burned your face, forcing you to close them again. "The lights" you breathed.
"What? What about them?" Aaron asked softly, holding you down to the bed while the others raised their brows. Three nurses occupied the room now in a short period of time.
"Ugh- turn them off" you groaned in pain from the spurious movement a moment ago. You sucked in a breath through gritted teeth," It hurts."
Aaron smoothed your hair, "What hurts Y/N?"
"Everything," you swallowed thickly with a sigh. "I- what happened?" As you reached up to touch your head, a cord pulled on your hand to stop you. Aarons hand wrapped around your wrist in protest and slowly placed it back on the bed.
"You had an accident," he said hesitantly, unsure on how to explain the situation so soon, "You're at North General Hospital. You have a concussion and three broken ribs."
Rossi stood back, allowing Hotch to take the lead on this. After working with victims for so long, he wanted to give it a break. You had a special place in his heart and to see you like this made him sick. He is tough at this old age but not tough enough for this. When Rossi looked at you, he saw a strong daughter he never had. Someone who needed the fatherly protection that was absent growing up. He beat himself for not seeing this coming, after all he was a profiler.
"I didn't do anything?" you insisted, eyes fully open and looking straight into the unit chiefs brown eyes hovering over you. "I was getting ready?"
Hotch frowned and ran a hand through his hair, pulling a seat from the side over by your bed. "Y/N, you weren't getting ready, you were home after the party, Celia was there too, she is the one who called."
Instantly, you shot up in bed, ignoring the horrible pain in your ribs and abdomen. You gripped the middle of your torso with a sharp breath, your other hand on the bed railing. "I can't be here, I have to go home. Axel is probably worried sick."
"You can't leave Bella, you had extensive surgery. You're safe here now." Rossi replied from the other side of the room.
"B-but-" you shook your head in aggravation, "I was home Hotch! What surgery?!"
You don't know why you were so mad, maybe it was because of what Axel would do once you got back home knowing you were at the hospital or maybe the random stories Rossi and Hotch were feeding to you as you sat in a hospital bed.
"Axel, he hit you Y/N." Hotch said softly, going to place a hand on yours but you flinched away and threw the blanket off your body quickly, swinging your legs over the edge of the bed.
"Axel would never hit me! I don't know where you're getting these stories from. I just want to go home, please."
Tears pricked your eyes from the stabbing, pulsing pain. Rossi blocked you from getting up, surely putting his hands on your shoulder and putting you back in the bed. The bandages that covered you ran from your arms to your legs, some smaller than others but all pretty big.
"You had surgery to remove the glass from your liver," Rossi explained, "The nurse said you have to take it easy with your ribs. Believe us Y/N."
It seemed like a big misunderstanding. Your thoughts were in a ball of yarn and what they were saying just didn't seem correct. Sure, Axel did hurt you sometimes but he would never take it this far, he still cared about you and your well-being, that's why he allowed you to stay in the house. Sometimes the way Axel showed love was different from what the others think, your father taught you that after your mom died. They might yell and hit you but that's just because they want you to be strong.
"I can't believe you," you sighed, "Do you understand what you are telling me? I can't recall anything."
"Is there any place Axel would go?" Hotch asked suddenly. You turned to him with a hand on your forehead.
"Why?" you huffed, dropping your hand on the bed with an eye-roll. "He didn't do this, he's probably at the house so please let me go"
"Y/N," Rossi caught your attention, "Axel isn't at the house, he fled after he beat you."
You couldn't even begin to digest his words. It just didn't seem real, the pain was there and made sense. Neither of them would lie to you, you just don't want to admit how cowardly you seem staying with Axel because you let him take everything from you. Admitting he hurt you once again would put you back into that mindset. The mindset that you can't even take a single little hit or you needed your own money, it was selfish how much you relied on Axel for everything.
"He wouldn't do that, we know this," you continued to insist. "Rossi you know nothing about my relationship- just stay out of it."
"You don't have to cover for him anymore," Hotch says, his voice deep with anticipation on how the night would play out. Right now his main focus was making sure you were safe.
"He protects me- he didn't do this!" you lied through your teeth so easily just like the times before. Avery warned you about him long before his father died and you ignored her because you were naive and just wanted something to look forward to.
Back then you didn't know what was really happening. How much you would want to stay with a man who physically and mentally tore you down any chance he got. It wasn't about love anymore, of course you wanted to leave but you couldn't . All your assets were in his possession, the house was where all your things were and going back there wouldn't be ideal. Covering for Axel hurt like a stab in the gut, protecting him was the only thing you knew how to do.
Hotch shared a glance with Rossi and you ran a hand down your face. Soon enough, Rossi stepped out of the room and Hotch stood up, towering over you. You would be lying if you said you weren't scared or intimidated, ready to hide into a ball where he couldn't hurt you.
"Protecting him isn't going to help you," he says, "Helping us find him will." His voice was soft and gentle, contrasting to what it was moments ago.
"I don't know- I can't just leave him. Things are- complicated." You ran a hand up your arm.
"We are your family Y/N."
You sighed, "Did you get Celia? She seemed shaken up by what happened, I just want to make sure she and her daughter are safe."
Changing the subject was the only way you knew to get the topic away from Axel. You were also curious about Celia. As your memories flood back, you remember seeing her bent over you with a washcloth and a panicked expression. You frowned at the thought.
"The maid?" Hotch asked.
You nodded, "I was supposed to sign her check today and I just- she needs it a lot Aaron. She works so hard, I always tell Axel that we don't need her with just the two of us,"
The tick in his jaw didn't go unnoticed when you said the name Axel. You swallowed thickly and continued on, "I just need to make sure she is safe and then I will talk to you, a cognitive location, whatever you want."
You crossed your arms over your chest to the best of your ability and stared at a wall as Hotch continued his gaze on you. You knew you were being stubborn but you had things to take care of and if this was the way to do it, then so be it.
Hotch exited the room quietly and left you with your own thoughts.
• • •
After three hours of looking and a few phone calls to Garcia, Hotch got a hold of Celia in her home not far from your mansion. The extremely remote location is what took so long to find the house but once he was there, he insisted her and her daughter, Tate, visit you on an urgent matter.
Her home was small but enough to raise a child with the means of excitement and he couldn't help but smile on the way Tate looked at her mother.
They piled into the SUV and made their way back to the hospital, Hotch flashing his badge to get through quickly. He truly didn't know what the plan was after he got the information from you, just that he wanted to kill this son of a bitch for what happened. For the last day or two, every-time he closed his eyes he saw your body unconscious on the floors of the one place you were meant to be kept safe.
The group got back to your room quickly with the exclusion of Rossi who had to speak with Strauss about a matter. He knocked twice before entering the room.
Your eyes lit up at the sight of Celia and Tate before a look of confusion. "Celia!"
"Y/N! Thank the heavens you are okay," she placed a hand over her heart, gripping her daughter by the elbow and pulling her towards you, "Tate this is Y/N, the woman I work for."
Tate was small, long black hair that reached her mid back. She was shy, already hiding behind her mother, not her side. Obviously she wasn't a day over thirteen but you waved and offered a soft smile.
"Celia, I wanted to talk with you" you said softly. Hotch stood back and watched the worry take over your face. Celia immediately knew what was happening and turned towards Tate.
"Sweetheart, go with Agent Hotchner to get something to eat, I will be quick." Celia explained.
Hotch pushed off the wall and straightened his posture. It was hard not to look scared with the Agent demeanor he always had going on. He tried to remind himself that they didn't do any harm to you. His hands were still tense as he led Tate out of the room, sparing a glance at you for a second.
He didn't know how to start the conversation off considering the closed off stance Tate had. Her arms were crossed over her chest and her hair covered her face as she looked down at her feet.
"How long has your mom worked for Y/N and Mr.Jacobs?" He asks sternly, trying to crack open her shell if it means any help.
"I don't know," she shrugged defensively. "I didn't even know she worked for them in the first place. She just came home and had money and I was okay with that."
He was caught off guard by how harsh she was being so quickly. The way she didn't know where her mother worked didn't seem odd. lots of children don't know. She began to walk slightly faster than Hotch in a way to gain the upper hand.
"Did your mom ever talk about Mr. Jacobs? Specifically if she liked her work?"
She once again shrugged with a huff, "Listen, I don't know anything okay? She came home and went to bed after tucking me in like any mother would do. She didn't like talking about work and again, I was fine with that. She supports me and herself."
Hotch nodded in understanding, scrambling to understand her answer and more about Axel. Celia never liked talking about work, he knew she wouldn't be embarrassed so what else was happening? The conversation drifted off as they made their way into the cafeteria, grabbing bottles of water and Hotch giving Tate a dollar for the vending machine.
Silence suffocated the two in the walk back as Hotch bit his tongue to hold back. His efforts went unnoticed as he asked a question that was on the tip of his tongue.
"Do you like living with your mother?"
Tate stopped abruptly and turned to him with a scowl, "Do you ever stop asking questions?!" her tone was frustrated, fuming even. Her arms crossed even tighter over her chest as she stared at Hotch waiting for an answer.
"I just need information about this case," he says calmly, "anything that you can tell me about your mom, dad, your day to day life could help us."
It was hard to get through a thirteen year old, but the way her mouth twitched into a frown and she uncrossed her arms showed he had completed the seemingly impossible task. With another breath she spoke,
"I never knew my dad. Mom said he wasn't someone for me to care for and frankly-" she shrugged her shoulders, "-I don't care to know the man. Every night she comes home and has a smile on her face. Sure, I get disappointed that I was kept from him but maybe that's for the best."
Agent Hotchner couldn't hide the disappointment he felt twisting his stomach into knots. There wasn't much she could tell him, Tate already told him that. The lord he thought, the easier it was to come to the realization that Tate had never even met her father.
"Can we go back to my mom now?"
They wandered back into the room, Celia perched on the side of your bed, gripping your hands for dear life as tears streamed down her face. Ou smiled softly at her and whispered something he couldn't catch onto. Celia nodded with a sob of joy, placing a kiss on both of your cheeks with so much love. Tate stood next to him, waiting for Hotch to cross the threshold into your room. For some reason he couldn't, watching the event unfold against him made him feel like another layer of secrets was pulled off of you.
Three months is all it took to know you were compassionate and caring but genuinely selfless was shown when you handed Celia the check and said something else. The soft look in your eyes portrayed a silent plea to the woman as she got up and wiped the non existent dirt off her jeans.
"-I'll go tonight. I will never be able to repay you-" Is the sentence Hotch caught onto before walking back in.
Your head shoots you and you back away slightly against the bed, wincing in pain. "Hotch I didn't expect you to be back so soon."
"There wasn't much to offer in a hospital," he said solemnly. "We should start the questions."